In step

[RiverOL]

Living in Harmony with Your "Bumper Sticker"

"By their fruits [actions] you will know them." – Jesus

The story is told how a driver was being tailgated by a stressed-out driver on a busy boulevard. Suddenly the light turns yellow just in front of her. She does the right thing and stops even though she could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating driver hits the roof, and the horn, and yells in frustration as he misses the chance to get through the intersection. As he is still in mid-rant, he hears a tap on his window and looks up into the face of a police officer.

The officer orders him to exit his car with his hands up. He takes him to the police station where he is searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman opens the cell door, and escorts him back to the booking desk where the arresting officer is waiting with his personal effects.

The officer says, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, shaking your fist and yelling at the driver in front of you. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally I assumed you had stolen the car."

Suggested Prayer: "Dear God, please help me always to so live that my life and actions will always bring glory to Your name—and not ridicule. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus's name, amen."

 

[RiverOL]

You’re Designed for Extremes

I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot—Revelation 3:15

There are three approaches to life with God: All In; All Out; and, in the middle, between those, a third approach. This third approach is actually a range—it encompasses every approach between the two extremes. Many of us take the third approach. I mean, we do believe life is better with God—but, our belief is more theoretical than not. We get busy with careers, families, finances, and rarely think about actually applying the life and truth of our King, Jesus Christ, to our own, complicated lives. And so, they become indistinguishable from the lives of men All Out. Jesus calls takers of the third approach “lukewarm,” and is particularly frustrated by us: “because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth” (Revelation 3:16). We third-approachers mistakenly presume we’re doing okay faith-wise—not as well as we could maybe, but okay nonetheless. Therefore, Jesus’ words are startling and challenging—and force us to consider All In. So, what does All In require? The world tells us, too much. But, that’s wrong. It doesn’t require more than we can give. Brother, we’re designed for All In. Jesus isn’t some out-of-touch “high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses” (Hebrews 4:15). He understands our lives. He knows what he’s asking. All In doesn’t require we be perfect; we couldn’t. It requires a soft heart―a willingness to try, genuinely, to use Jesus’ life as a pattern for our own.

Okay, so what do we do? Pray the All In prayer: Set aside a couple minutes today. Quiet your surroundings. Shut the door. Turn off music. Quiet your mind. Ask the Holy Spirit to soften your heart. Now, speak directly to Jesus, your King, and say three plain, simple words, “I’m All In.” That’s it.

 

[RiverOL]

Giving Your Best

"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might"1

One of my favorite quotes is from a former American president, Theodore Roosevelt, who said: "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those timid souls who know neither victory or defeat."

Does this mean that we all have to be highly gifted? Not at all. The important thing is that we use the gifts that God has given to each of us and use these to the best of our ability.

Or as Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "If a man is called to be a street-sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or as Beethoven composed music, or as Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, 'Here lived a great street-sweeper who did his job well.'"

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to know what my God-given gifts are, and develop and use them to the best of my ability for serving You and mankind—always for Your glory. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus's name, amen."

1. Solomon (Ecclesiastes 9:10, NIV).

 

[RiverOL]

Look Again, Harder This Time

. . . and they shall call his name Immanuel . . . God with us—Matthew 1:23

We men often feel alone. Even surrounded by family, friends, work colleagues, we can still feel very much alone. These feelings—not of loneliness, but alone-ness—are most acute, of course, in times of stress or struggle or suffering. You see, it’s when we’re most in need of help and companionship that we’re most apt to be convinced that no one’s going to help or no one’s going to understand . . . maybe not even God. Right? I mean, in those dark moments, it can feel like God’s just not there, or has turned away. In one of his dark moments, King David cried out: “I am cut off from your sight” (Psalm 31:22). The truth is, God is always there, in every moment, bright and dark. “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). God doesn’t abandon us in dark moments, even when our sin causes the darkness. So we must learn to see him, even in those moments. One great way to learn is to look backwards, at dark moments from our pasts, moments when we felt alone, and look for him once more, a bit harder this time.

Okay, so what do we do? Spend some time in prayer. Close your eyes. Quiet your mind. Now, drawing upon everything you know about him, get a picture of Jesus. Think about his goodness—and his heart for the weary, the worried, the wicked, the down, the downtrodden. Think about his willingness to go into tough places and tough situations . . . to redeem them. Next, recall a moment from your past. Call to mind a picture of a time when you felt alone. Visualize the details. Remember how it felt. Now, bring the two pictures together and imagine how Jesus might have (actually) been at work in the moment you chose.

 

[RiverOL]

What Worked? What Didn’t?

. . . he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come—2 Corinthians 5:17

God’s at work in us—every one of us—whether we can see it or not (Philippians 2:13). He’s working to transform our character into the character of his son, our King, Jesus Christ. And he’ll continue working until the work is complete (Philippians 1:6). Our job is to join him. Our job is to follow Jesus and work ourselves, in obedience, to increase the amount goodness and light in our lives . . . and to decrease the opposite: “. . . do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, ‘You shall be holy, for I am holy.’” (1 Peter 1:14-16). Who among us doesn’t need more goodness and more light? That’s rhetorical, of course. And when’s a better time to increase our intentionality about increasing our holiness than at the beginning of a new year? That’s rhetorical too. So how do we? Well, we get intentional by looking at the choices we’ve been making—whom we’ve been spending time with, the practices we’ve been engaging in, the experiences we’ve been enjoying. We get intentional by taking time to reflect upon those choices . . . and upon their results. And we get intentional by deciding which relationships, which practices, which experiences we’d like more of, going forward, because they increase holiness—and which we’d like less of, because they don’t.

Okay, so what do we do? Consider the past twelve months. What was good? Who was good for you? What worked? What wasn’t so good? What didn’t work? Now, draw up (and commit to) a simple, practical, achievable plan for bringing more of what’s been good, and what’s worked for you, into the next twelve months . . . and less of what wasn’t and what didn’t.

 

[RiverOL]

You’re Made for Adventure

. . . how long will they not believe in me, in spite of all the signs that I have done?—Numbers 14:11

God the Father designed us for adventures . . . for his adventures. Listen for his call. Imagine a boy awakened early by his father: “Hey, buddy . . . up for an adventure today?” Trust him. Imagine the son, nervous with anticipation of what the day might hold: “Yeah, dad. Totally.” Go with him. Imagine the father and son gearing-up together, maybe for fishing, or hunting, or backpacking, and heading off into the wild. Now, imagine if the boy instead replied, “Nah, dad. Gonna stay home today. Just too risky.” Or, “I’ve got more important things to do today. Thanks for asking. Maybe next time.” God the Father whispered (through Moses) to twelve men in the Wilderness of Paran: “spy out the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the people of Israel” (Numbers 13:2). The men did, and they saw good land . . . but they also saw large foes, whom they’d have to defeat. Ten of them took the “just too risky” tack: “We are not able to go up against the people, for they are stronger than we are” (Numbers 13:31). They felt like “grasshoppers,” they said, compared to the huge men of Canaan. (Numbers 13:33). Only two—Joshua and Caleb—mustered courage and trusted in God’s adventure. Only they were willing to go: “. . . he will bring us into this land and give it to us . . . And do not fear the people of the land, for they are bread for us. Their protection is removed from them, and the Lord is with us; do not fear them” (Numbers 14:7-9). [Translation: “Yeah, dad. Totally.”]

Okay, so what do we do? When God invites you into an adventure it’s a special moment, a divine moment . . . an eternal moment. You won’t get many. So, be prepared. Be ready with a quick, “Yeah, dad. Totally.”

 

[RiverOL]

Laughter is the Best Medicine

"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."1

I read about one lady who, when she turned fifty, wore a button at her work place that said, "Fifty is nifty." All day she got lots of compliments with people saying things like, "Anita, you don't look 50," "Why, Anita, you can't be 50," and "We all know you're not 50."

She knew they were kidding but she loved it. However, the more she heard the lies, the more she believed them. On her way home she got to thinking, I think I need a new husband. At 51 he's much too old for a young looking gal like me.

As she arrived home from work, a young girl from the florist shop was delivering a beautiful floral arrangement with a note that said, "Birthday flowers from a friend."

Seeing the "Fifty is Nifty" button on Anita's dress, the girl said, "Oh, 50, eh?"

"Yes," Anita said as she waited for one more compliment about looking so young when the delivery girl said, "Fifty. That's great! Birthday or anniversary?"

I heard about another lady who, when she was 50, liked to tell people she was 60. "Why do you do this? Someone who knew her real age asked. "Well for 50 I look terrible, but for 60 I look fantastic," she replied.

Kidding and joking in the right spirit when you make yourself the target of the laughter (and not others) is fun and healthy. We probably all remember the axiom that says, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." This would probably be better said: "A laugh a day keeps the doctor and the blues away."

Laughter is indeed one of the best medicines. As the Bible taught 3,000 years ago, "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."1

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you for the gift of laughter, humor and fun. Help me to take life seriously, serving you seriously, but not myself too seriously. Help me to learn to laugh at myself even when I make mistakes, and to laugh a little with my friends—every day. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus's name, amen."

1. Solomon (Proverbs 17:22, NIV).

 

[RiverOL]

A Pernicious Loop

. . . he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything—Acts 17:25

There are few more powerful (and potentially harmful) forces at work in the lives of men than the When/Then lie. It goes like this: when we get that job, that promotion, that house, that “number” in the bank account . . . then everything will be great. Things will settle down then. We’ll have peace and joy and security then. The lie wouldn't be so bad, but for the behavior we rationalize and excuse with it, hoping it is true: neglecting people we’re meant to love; disregarding people we’re meant to serve; ignoring people we’re meant to rescue; treating badly and taking advantage of people we are meant to encourage and support. Our enemy, the “father of lies” (John 8:44), created a clever one with the When/Then lie—it’s an infinite loop. You see, whatever “something” follows When is never as good as we think it’ll be. And so, any given “something,” when it’s achieved, is quickly replaced by a bigger, better one. There’s freedom available to us, though—freedom to enjoy the abundant blessings we’ve already been given; freedom to access true peace and true joy and true security, right now—if we’re willing to reject the lie and, instead, embrace the promises of our King, Jesus Christ. He’s promised that our Father God will provide everything we need in any given moment (Matthew 6:25-34). His provision just might not look how we think or hope it will (Isaiah 55:8).

Okay, so what do we do? Write down the When/Then lies you’ve believed. Be specific with both the Whens and the Thens. Now, with brothers in community or directly to God, pray against any power they’ve held over your life. Then, pray in the opposite: declare your gratitude for how God’s provided for you already—and for how he always will.

 

[RiverOL]

Go Small to Go Big

So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone—Galatians 6:10

Once we’ve decided to do something, we men often like to “go big.” We think to ourselves: if we’re going to do this thing, let’s really do it. We can bring this kind of thinking, this “go big” mentality, to all kinds of work, even the work God calls us into—that is, the work of loving and serving others. Great things can result, of course. But the mentality can backfire, too—for example, when we set our ambitions too high, get overwhelmed, and can’t follow through. It’s interesting that, knowing us as he does, our King, Jesus Christ, suggests an opposite approach: “This is a large work I’ve called you into, but don’t be overwhelmed by it. It’s best to start small. Give a cool cup of water to someone who is thirsty, for instance. The smallest act of giving or receiving makes you a true apprentice” (Matthew 10:40-42 MSG). Start small! Why does something rise up in our hearts, against that approach? Well, it’s mostly because by “going big” we hope to grab a little glory for ourselves. We want others to see us and think well of us. And if we don’t “go big,” they might not actually see our accomplishments. But, Jesus reassures us: “You won’t lose out on a thing” (Matthew 10:42 MSG). We must trust his words and trust that God the Holy Spirit can do amazing things within even our smallest, most ordinary acts of love and service. And that’s plenty big for any of us.

Okay, so what do we do? Look around, today and tomorrow, for people in need. People are hurting, people right around you. “Go to the lost, confused people right here in the neighborhood” (Matthew 10:5-8 MSG). Pick one person and blow them away with some help.

 

[RiverOL]

Blessed to Bless

Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap—Luke 6:38

Have you been blessed? [Pause for a moment to consider.] What’s your reaction to that question? Is it easy to see how and how much you’ve been blessed? Or is it difficult, especially with so many people around who’ve been blessed more? Well, make no mistake; all of us have been blessed (Genesis 1:28). I mean, do you have a job, some money, enough to eat, a safe place to live, family, some friends, a church, or an education? It may be in unique ways and in varying degrees, but we’ve all been blessed . . . abundantly. So how then should we think about these blessings? I mean, how can we reconcile the fact that we’ve been blessed with so much—so much more than countless men and women alive right now in other parts of this country and around the world? The only way to think about our blessings, brother, is to view them as means to bless others. And the only way to view ourselves, then, is blessed to bless others. You see, knowing what we do about God and about his intentions for us (Matthew 22:36-39), how could we ever conclude otherwise? How could we ever conclude that we’ve been blessed simply so that we may live in comfort and security and isolation? What kind of story would that be, anyway? No, we must view these blessings as personal invitations into God’s much greater story of blessing other people.

Okay, so what do we do? Take a few minutes to note the specific ways you’ve been blessed this year. Focus your mind on seeing the true blessings, especially the ones that you might have gotten used to and begun taking for granted. Write them down and spend some time in prayer, thanking God for what he’s given you.

 

[RiverOL]

Failure is on the Menu

I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities—2 Corinthians 12:10

We men are often just wrong about failure. It seems we’ve all decided that if we ever experience failure, we're then failures. It’s not true. Failure is integral to human life, the way God designed it. Look at Abraham, Jacob, Moses, David, Peter—all experienced failure, because they were mere humans. Mere humans fail every so often . . . and it’s good that we do. Failure refines us. We mature through failures because we learn from them—much more than from successes. Through failures our character is formed (Romans 5:3-5). No man can become who he’s supposed to become without experiencing some failure in his life. Failure also fuels us . . . or, rather, the potential for failure. While we may not like failure, we like to face its potential. We like to be tested. It’s why we like competition. It’s why we like risk. It’s often the excitement of uncertain outcomes that drives us to learn from failures and improve, in the hope of avoiding more. But the potential for failure must be real. And when it is real, we will sometimes fail. The danger, of course, is in getting stuck—in the shame of failures past or the fear of failures future, or maybe both. When we do, failure defeats us: we live dull lives, devoid of daring. But we need not get stuck. We can, instead, reject the shame of failure and learn to deal with it—by acknowledging fault; confessing and repenting (if sin was involved); facing any consequences; allowing God to teach us what we need to learn . . . and then moving on.

Okay, so what do we do? What are one or two big risks you’d like to take in the coming weeks and months? Write them down, commit to them, and tell some friends about them—so they can spur you on.

 

[RiverOL]

When You’re Just . . . Done

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding—Proverbs 3:5

Is there any belief you’ve simply gotten tired of believing? Is there any belief you’ve held onto, stubbornly, for too long now? We men are so good at holding onto things, even after they’ve shown themselves to be detrimental. Sometimes these stubborn beliefs are about God. Sometimes they’re about other people. Sometimes they’re about us. And, sometimes, it’s just time to change our minds. We can you know. It’s not an easy thing to do, of course, changing our minds, changing our beliefs—but we don’t have to do it on our own. God will help, if we ask. All we must do is decide we want to change our minds—like the man who brought his son, the one who couldn’t speak, to Jesus. This man had real doubts about Jesus, and about what Jesus could do, but he decided he wanted to change his mind about those doubts . . . and he asked for help: “Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, ‘I believe; help my unbelief!’” (Mark 9:24). Changing our minds—to align our beliefs with those of God—is one way we step out of our old selves and into our new selves. It’s one way we begin to become the men God intends us to become.

Okay, so what do we do? Are you tired of being a skeptic? Are you tired of being bitter or unforgiving? Are you tired of being too hard on yourself? Something else? The Apostle Paul told us what to do when we identify an old, worn-out belief: “Get rid of it!” (Ephesians 4:20-24 MSG). Get rid of it by naming it and bringing it to God in prayer. Tell him you’re tired of being that man—hard-hearted and unbending. Tell him you’d like his help in becoming a new man.

 

[RiverOL]

Minimum Safe Distance

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace—Hebrews 4:16

Have you gotten to where you stay at a “minimum safe distance” from God, for fear of what he might ask—what assignment he might put on your heart, what calling he might put on your life? Do you ever worry, if you allow yourself to get too close, he might leverage his position to press you to become . . . say . . . a monk in the mountains; or missionary to Africa; or evangelist at your work; or confessor to your friends; or something else, equally disrupting to your plans? For many of us men, fears like these characterize our relationships with God. You see, we know the plans we have for ourselves—plans for good things ahead—and we trust ourselves to know what’s “good.” So, we’re wary of potential disruptions, even from the God we love. King David wrote, though, it’s precisely when we close the distance to God that we actually discover what we’ve been looking for, all along: “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). Not the “boredom of your heart” or “annoyance of your heart” or “frustration of your heart”—the “desires of your heart”—what you’ve always wanted, but haven’t found. The key, brother, is trust (Psalm 37:5). We must trust that the God of the universe might know better what is, in fact, “good” for us. And we must trust that he wills our good and knows how to bring it about (Psalm 37:5-6).

Okay, so what do we do? What's been on your heart, or in your mind, to do that you've not yet done . . . reading Scripture regularly, joining some brothers in community, confessing something to a friend? God's put that thing on your heart to bring you closer to him. Go ahead, move closer.

 

[RiverOL]

What Moves Your Heart?

. . . give, and it will be given to you—Luke 6:38

When we begin following Jesus Christ, he shapes for us new hearts—just as God promised for Israel: “I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh” (Ezekiel 36:26; Ephesians 4:17-24). These new hearts move more like God’s heart. They are not, however, all shaped alike. They still reflect our God-created and God-anointed individuality (1 Corinthians 12:14-20). Notice when you view tough situations—sometimes your heart is moved, deeply. Notice also—sometimes it isn’t. You see, we’re all created for good works (Ephesians 2:10). But, as individuals, we aren’t created for every work. We couldn’t possibly be. We’re all called to help those in need (Matthew 22:39; 1 John 3:17-18). But, as individuals, we aren’t called to every need. Near his death, St. Francis of Assisi prayed for his fellow friars: “I have done what is mine to do. May Christ teach you what is yours.” The movements of our new hearts are one way God teaches us what is ours. For our hearts are made to notice, to care, to move more for certain people and certain needs: when their needs are met, our hearts are satisfied; when they aren’t, our hearts hurt with their hearts. So here’s the good part—when we become aware of the movements of our new hearts, and begin working ourselves to meet the needs of people who are ours to help, we increase not only their joy, but ours too.

Okay, so what do we do? Continue to bend your focus away from yourself, brother. Take some time to consider your heart. Can you identify the particular people and particular needs for which it moves, uniquely?

 

[RiverOL]

He Calls Us Still

. . . for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God—Romans 3:23

As his men, we’re called to be like Jesus. We’re commanded to love just like he does (John 13:34-35). That’s a tall order. It’s easy to feel less-than-qualified, what with all our faults and bad choices, both intentional and unintentional. In fact, it’s easy to feel totally disqualified. Our mistakes—we carry their shame, we try to forget them. But we can’t forget. So we hide them instead, hoping, at least, to appear qualified. But they’re always there. And the thing is, when everyone else is hiding their mistakes too, it can feel like we’re the only ones with failings. So, not only do we feel disqualified, we can also feel separate. But our mistakes don’t separate us from everyone else. They actually connect us. Whether we admit them or not, they’re one thing we all share (Romans 3:23). Our mistakes make us human. They also don’t disqualify us from the call to love like Jesus. You see, Jesus knows our mistakes; we can’t hide them from him. And yet he calls us still. We must confess and repent the mistakes we’ve made—and try to make fewer going forward—but Jesus doesn’t give up on us because of our mistakes (Mark 2:17). And, in fact, our mistakes (and the darkness that follows) can actually prepare us for his call. They can prepare us to love. They can teach us compassion and humility. They can also give us the authority to speak, as men who’ve been through darkness and pain, and who’ve returned.

Okay, so what do we do? Make a list. Write down mistakes you’ve made. Pray over them. Consider how you’ve grown from them. Consider how God might be redeeming them—how they might have actually prepared you to love and help those people for whom your heart moves.

 

[RiverOL]

Who Are Your Fellow Conspirators?

For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them—Matthew 18:20

For many of us men, our default is go-it-alone. We prefer to work alone, make decisions alone, muscle through struggles alone, get credit for our accomplishments alone. Go-it-alone gives us control and allows us to avoid vulnerability. The problem is, our King, Jesus Christ, doesn’t think much of the go-it-alone approach, especially in the service of others. He didn’t go-it-alone during his time of ministry; he doesn’t go-it-alone now (John 10:22-39; 14:7-14). And when he sent followers to preach and do miracles, he sent them in pairs, so they wouldn’t go-it-alone either (Mark 6:7-13; Luke 10:1-12). Clearly this is important. But, why are pairs or groups such better units for service than is one man, on his own? Well, the reasons are a few—and each is as compelling as the ask-for-help approach is counter to our nature. First, and most importantly, Jesus is uniquely present when two or more people join together in his name (Matthew 18:20). Moreover, two or more people, joined together, working together, in friendship and trust, are often more confident and more impactful, than is just one man (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). And, two or more people, joined together, who know one another, who pray together and pray for one another, are more supported and more protected (from sin and from opposition), than is that same man, on his own (Ecclesiastes 4:10-12; Hebrews 3:13).

Okay, so what do we do? Do you go-it-alone, brother? Take a moment. Wherever you’re serving now, serving God and serving others—in ways large or small—consider whether it might be advantageous to pair-up with another follower of God. Pray and listen too. If the answer is yes, betray your instincts and your pride and ask God to send the right person. Then, begin to look around.

 

[RiverOL]

Nothing But Smoke

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy—Matthew 6:19

This world, and everything in it, is characterized by defect and decay (Genesis 3:17; 1 John 2:17). Everything. Nothing is perfect—as much as we’d like to believe some things will be perfectly satisfying. Nothing lasts forever—as much as we’d like to believe some things can be with us always. Whenever we trust a created thing too much it lets us down, eventually. Whenever we put too much stock into a created thing it breaks our hearts, inevitably. We’ve all experienced this. Maybe we’ve trusted too much the ability of work to give us security. Maybe we’ve trusted too much the ability of achievement to give us meaning. Maybe we’ve trusted too much the ability of sex to give us comfort or adventure. Maybe we’ve trusted too much the abilities of houses or vacations or cars or tools or gear or gadgets to give us joy. “Smoke, nothing but smoke” (Ecclesiastes 1:2 MSG). Created things can be gifts from our Father God, of course (Ecclesiastes 5:18-19). Even those, though, cannot deliver everything we need. We’re to enjoy them during their moments, but our enjoyment is meant to be fleeting. If we begin to think the gifts themselves will fill us up, complete our lives, we invite grief. We’re meant to focus our lives, not on the gifts, but on the Giver. We’re meant to focus our lives, not on created things, but on the Creator. Only he is perfect and eternal.

Okay, so what do we do? If you’ve allowed yourself to trust any created thing too much—money, status, material things, sex, another person—it’s time to confess to God and to others. It’s time to repent. Declare that you want to be reliant on God alone . . . the Giver behind all gifts, the Creator behind all created things.

 

[RiverOL]

Miraculous Change

For the grace of God has appeared—Titus 2:11-12

For us men to truly, in our hearts, want to repent of our sins, repent of our screw-ups—for us to truly want to turn our backs on our old selves, on the self-indulgent men we’ve been—we’ve got to first trust that we can change, that we can become new men, if we do. I mean, we’ve been the way we are for a very long time, so it’s understandably hard to trust that there’s new life available, right here, right now—life that’s God-connected, God-filled, and God-honoring. So . . . can we trust it? Well, yes and no. On our own, new life is not available, and it never will be. On our own, we’ll remain our old selves until we die. Though we might want to become better men, we’ll only become worse. That’s what’s behind Paul’s frustration: “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate” (Romans 7:15). To just “man up” sure sounds good, but it doesn’t work. We’ve all tried it and it’s never enough, not even close. But with God’s help we can become new men. With his help we can become his men. And, he can’t wait to help. He’s wanted to for a very long time. He can’t wait to lend us his superpower called grace: the divine empowerment to do right, to do what we, by ourselves, cannot.

Okay, so what do we do? Jesus’ story is the greatest story the world’s ever known. It’s the story of a father and son, working together, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to do massive, miraculous things. It’s your story too. Trust that he can change you. Allow that trust to fuel your willingness to confess and repent and obey.

 

[RiverOL]

Confession Isn’t Sufficient

But if a wicked person turns away from all his sins . . . he shall surely live—Ezekiel 18:21

Confession is necessary, but it is not sufficient. Sufficiency is achieved only when confession is connected with repentance. You see, confession is making our sins known—to God, to wives, to trusted brothers. Repentance, though . . . repentance involves a turning: turning away from those sins; turning our backs on our old selves, on the men who committed those sins. Repentance is saying, we don’t want to be those men anymore. Repentance is turning toward God. It’s a willingness to become new men, loyal followers. Confession is critical, but it’s only the first step. Repentance is the ultimate step. Ironically, confession requires great courage, but repentance just requires a soft, willing heart. In the parable of the Prodigal Son, Jesus taught that it’s not sin itself that imperils us, but rather a hard, stubborn heart, an unwillingness to turn, an unwillingness to repent. The younger son lived a life with ostensibly more sin. The older brother simply harboured resentment and jealousy. The younger repented of his sins, though; the older did not. The father welcomed the younger and celebrated his return: “for this your brother was dead, and is alive” (Luke 15:32). The father pleaded with the older to also join in celebration, to soften his heart. He would not. Without repentance, we continue in our sin. Without repentance, we continue on our own path . . . toward death. Said Jesus, “unless you repent, you will all likewise perish” (Luke 13:3).

Okay, so what do we do? That stuff that you need/needed to confess, brother . . . yeah, that. Repent of it now. Turn your back on that man, that man who committed those sins. Soften. Be willing to listen to God. Astonishingly, he’ll always let you start anew. “Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out” (Acts 3:19).

 

[RiverOL]

Confession? Ugh . . .

. . . for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God—Romans 3:23

Confession—real, raw confession—is a critical component of a healthy spiritual life. It’s also an essential element of robust Christian brotherhood. We may not want to admit it, but we men need to be known, truly known . . . and be accepted by our brothers still. We’ve all believed, though, that to be accepted we can project images that are only partially accurate. It seems so right, at first. But make no mistake—it’s not. It’s a lie from our enemy. As long as we conceal parts of our lives, we cannot know the true depth of friendships. As long as we hide, brotherhood is never tested. As long as we hide, we harbour doubts: would they stand by me, if they knew the real me? This leads to shame, and we forsake the compassion of true Christian community. “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy” (Proverbs 28:13). Moreover, if friends see us only partially, they cannot fight for us—because we obscure what’s going wrong. But we’ve all “sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). And when we fall short, we need others to see . . . to step in, to help, and to pray. “Therefore, confess your sins to one another . . . pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power” (James 5:16).

Okay, so what do we do? You must figure out what to confess and to whom. What is easy: whatever you haven’t already. There shouldn’t be anything in your life that someone doesn’t know. Who requires you to ask God and to search your own heart. He’s put men into your life specifically for this type of transparency. Reach out to them today and have a conversation.