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IP addresses are NOT logged in this forum so there's no point asking. Please note that this forum is full of homophobes, racists, lunatics, schizophrenics & absolute nut jobs with a smattering of geniuses, Chinese chauvinists, Moderate Muslims and last but not least a couple of "know-it-alls" constantly sprouting their dubious wisdom. If you believe that content generated by unsavory characters might cause you offense PLEASE LEAVE NOW! Sammyboy Admin and Staff are not responsible for your hurt feelings should you choose to read any of the content here. The OTHER forum is HERE so please stop asking.
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- Thread starter RiverOL
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Unanswered Prayer
"This is the confidence that we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him."1
A friend told me about her minister whose five-year-old son told his father that he was praying for him. Excitedly his dad asked him, "And what did you ask God for?"
"Dear God," I prayed, "I don't want my dad to be a minister. Will you please make him the ice-cream man because he makes all children happy?"
We are amused by this child's prayer but I wonder sometimes if God doesn't laugh at some of my childish (not child-like), self-centered prayers. As someone else has said, God always answers prayer. Sometimes the answer is "Yes," sometimes it's "No;" sometimes it's "Wait a while;" and sometimes it's "You've got to be kidding."
Like a loving father, God knows what is best for us and answers accordingly. Of one thing we can be sure, when we come to him through Jesus Christ our Lord with a sincere heart, God always hears and answers our prayers one way or another. One of the keys for getting prayers answered the way we request them is, as the Bible says, to pray in harmony with God's will.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to know Your Word and always pray in harmony with Your will, and always trust that the answer You give is what is best for me and all others concerned. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus's name, amen."
1. John (1 John 5:14-15, NIV).
"This is the confidence that we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him."1
A friend told me about her minister whose five-year-old son told his father that he was praying for him. Excitedly his dad asked him, "And what did you ask God for?"
"Dear God," I prayed, "I don't want my dad to be a minister. Will you please make him the ice-cream man because he makes all children happy?"
We are amused by this child's prayer but I wonder sometimes if God doesn't laugh at some of my childish (not child-like), self-centered prayers. As someone else has said, God always answers prayer. Sometimes the answer is "Yes," sometimes it's "No;" sometimes it's "Wait a while;" and sometimes it's "You've got to be kidding."
Like a loving father, God knows what is best for us and answers accordingly. Of one thing we can be sure, when we come to him through Jesus Christ our Lord with a sincere heart, God always hears and answers our prayers one way or another. One of the keys for getting prayers answered the way we request them is, as the Bible says, to pray in harmony with God's will.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to know Your Word and always pray in harmony with Your will, and always trust that the answer You give is what is best for me and all others concerned. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus's name, amen."
1. John (1 John 5:14-15, NIV).
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When All Else Fails
"When he [the prodigal son] came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' So he got up and went to his father."1
In his One-Minute Uplift email newsletter Rick Ezell writes, "In the highlands of Scotland sheep often wander off into the rocks and get into places that they can't get out of. The grass on these mountains tastes very sweet, and the sheep like it. They will jump down ten or twelve feet to a ledge with a patch of grass, and then they can't jump back up again. The shepherd hears them bleating in distress. The shepherd may leave them there for days, until they have eaten all the grass and are so faint that they cannot stand. Only then will the shepherd put a rope around the sheep and pull them up out of the jaws of death.
"Why doesn't the shepherd attempt a rescue when the sheep first get into the predicament? The sheep are so foolish and so focused on eating that they would dash away from the shepherd, go over the precipice and destroy themselves.
"Such is the case with us. Sometimes we need to experience a little bit of 'death' before we can enjoy the abundance of life. The Lord will rescue us the moment we have given up trying, realizing that we can't liberate ourselves, and cry to him for help."2
For many of us, like the prodigal son, it's only when all else fails and we hit rock bottom, that we turn to God for help but that's a good thing because only God can rescue us from the jaws of eternal death and damnation.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank You that when I finally admit that I have a problem—that I am a sinner—and need help, I discover that You have been waiting patiently for me to come to You so You could rescue and save me from the tragic consequences of sin which is eternal death and separation from You. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus's name, amen."
"When he [the prodigal son] came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' So he got up and went to his father."1
In his One-Minute Uplift email newsletter Rick Ezell writes, "In the highlands of Scotland sheep often wander off into the rocks and get into places that they can't get out of. The grass on these mountains tastes very sweet, and the sheep like it. They will jump down ten or twelve feet to a ledge with a patch of grass, and then they can't jump back up again. The shepherd hears them bleating in distress. The shepherd may leave them there for days, until they have eaten all the grass and are so faint that they cannot stand. Only then will the shepherd put a rope around the sheep and pull them up out of the jaws of death.
"Why doesn't the shepherd attempt a rescue when the sheep first get into the predicament? The sheep are so foolish and so focused on eating that they would dash away from the shepherd, go over the precipice and destroy themselves.
"Such is the case with us. Sometimes we need to experience a little bit of 'death' before we can enjoy the abundance of life. The Lord will rescue us the moment we have given up trying, realizing that we can't liberate ourselves, and cry to him for help."2
For many of us, like the prodigal son, it's only when all else fails and we hit rock bottom, that we turn to God for help but that's a good thing because only God can rescue us from the jaws of eternal death and damnation.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank You that when I finally admit that I have a problem—that I am a sinner—and need help, I discover that You have been waiting patiently for me to come to You so You could rescue and save me from the tragic consequences of sin which is eternal death and separation from You. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus's name, amen."
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Priorities
"Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."1
What is the first thing you do when you wake up every morning? For many of us, we may hit snooze on the alarm clock one too many times only to realize that we are then rushing to get out the door on time. For others we may exercise first thing in the morning to start the day energized and fresh. Regardless of what our morning routine is, I encourage you to put God first!
When our eyes open to the sound of the alarm clock, let's take a moment to pray and thank God for the new day, our job, our family and loved ones, our health, etc. Take a moment to spend time in His word. It can be a verse or a couple chapters, but the important thing is to spend that time with our Heavenly Father.
The verse for today reminds us to "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give us everything we need." Do we believe that? Are we willing to trust that God is faithful and will do it? When we put God first and leave the rest in His hands, we can be sure that no matter what comes our way, God will go before us and equip us to encounter every situation and will be our peace and strength when we grow weary.
We all have a long list of responsibilities, but when we make God a priority, the blessings will come, and God will provide.
Suggested Prayer: "Dear God, I pray that you would allow me to put you first in everything I do. Allow me to trust you fully and believe that you are faithful and will provide everything I need in doing this. Thank you because you desire to spend time with me, and you love me unconditionally. I choose to make you my priority and trust that you will give me everything else I need. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. In Jesus' name. Amen.
1. Matthew 6:33 (NLT).
"Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."1
What is the first thing you do when you wake up every morning? For many of us, we may hit snooze on the alarm clock one too many times only to realize that we are then rushing to get out the door on time. For others we may exercise first thing in the morning to start the day energized and fresh. Regardless of what our morning routine is, I encourage you to put God first!
When our eyes open to the sound of the alarm clock, let's take a moment to pray and thank God for the new day, our job, our family and loved ones, our health, etc. Take a moment to spend time in His word. It can be a verse or a couple chapters, but the important thing is to spend that time with our Heavenly Father.
The verse for today reminds us to "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give us everything we need." Do we believe that? Are we willing to trust that God is faithful and will do it? When we put God first and leave the rest in His hands, we can be sure that no matter what comes our way, God will go before us and equip us to encounter every situation and will be our peace and strength when we grow weary.
We all have a long list of responsibilities, but when we make God a priority, the blessings will come, and God will provide.
Suggested Prayer: "Dear God, I pray that you would allow me to put you first in everything I do. Allow me to trust you fully and believe that you are faithful and will provide everything I need in doing this. Thank you because you desire to spend time with me, and you love me unconditionally. I choose to make you my priority and trust that you will give me everything else I need. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. In Jesus' name. Amen.
1. Matthew 6:33 (NLT).
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The Only Time We Ever Have
"Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation."1
In his sermon, "Obedience," Warren Lamb said, "I used to have problems getting my son to clean his room. I would insist that he, 'Do it now,' and he would always agree to do so, but then he wouldn't follow through—at least, not right away.
"After high school he joined the Marine Corps, which is where he is now [or was at time of writing]. When he and I were on the plane together coming home for his leave after Boot Camp, he said to me, 'My life makes sense now, Dad. Everything you said and did when I was growing up now makes sense. I really, really understand.'
"Oh yeah, Dad," he added. "I learned what 'now' means."2
For all of us, the only time we ever have is now.
If God is urging you to make amends with a friend or loved one, do it now. If there is a job or responsibility you have been putting off, do it now. If God is calling you to accept his gift of salvation, remember NOW is the day of salvation. Be sure to do this today. For help go to: http://tinyurI.com/8glq9 to read, "How to Be Sure You're a real Christian Without Having to Be Religious."
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank You for your Word that reminds me that the day of salvation is now—today. Please help me to do today what is the most important thing in my life, and especially to make sure my life is right with You. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus's name, amen."
"Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation."1
In his sermon, "Obedience," Warren Lamb said, "I used to have problems getting my son to clean his room. I would insist that he, 'Do it now,' and he would always agree to do so, but then he wouldn't follow through—at least, not right away.
"After high school he joined the Marine Corps, which is where he is now [or was at time of writing]. When he and I were on the plane together coming home for his leave after Boot Camp, he said to me, 'My life makes sense now, Dad. Everything you said and did when I was growing up now makes sense. I really, really understand.'
"Oh yeah, Dad," he added. "I learned what 'now' means."2
For all of us, the only time we ever have is now.
If God is urging you to make amends with a friend or loved one, do it now. If there is a job or responsibility you have been putting off, do it now. If God is calling you to accept his gift of salvation, remember NOW is the day of salvation. Be sure to do this today. For help go to: http://tinyurI.com/8glq9 to read, "How to Be Sure You're a real Christian Without Having to Be Religious."
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank You for your Word that reminds me that the day of salvation is now—today. Please help me to do today what is the most important thing in my life, and especially to make sure my life is right with You. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus's name, amen."
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He Fooled Himself
"Be sure your sins will find you out."1
The story is told of a young actor who was trying to impress an important movie director. The actor wanted to send an expensive gift, but he didn't have the money, but he had an idea. If he could find a valuable vase which was already broken and get it at a very small cost, then he could mail it to the director. He would think it had gotten broken in the mail and would be impressed anyway.
So this actor went to an exclusive store and found a vase that had been broken into many pieces. It was just going to be thrown out, so he was able to get it at a very small cost. He told them to wrap it up and send it and gave them the address. He waited to hear from the director, but heard nothing for several days. Finally he sent a telegram: "Did vase arrive?" Shortly he received this response: "Vase arrived. But why was each piece wrapped separately?"2
As Abraham Lincoln said, "You may fool all the people some of the time, you can even fool some of the people all of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time."
But with God we can never fool Him any of the time. "Be sure your sins will find you out"—mine too!
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, deliver me from the sin of denial and trying to fool myself into justifying whatever wrong I want and choose to do—let alone trying to deceive You. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus's name, amen."
"Be sure your sins will find you out."1
The story is told of a young actor who was trying to impress an important movie director. The actor wanted to send an expensive gift, but he didn't have the money, but he had an idea. If he could find a valuable vase which was already broken and get it at a very small cost, then he could mail it to the director. He would think it had gotten broken in the mail and would be impressed anyway.
So this actor went to an exclusive store and found a vase that had been broken into many pieces. It was just going to be thrown out, so he was able to get it at a very small cost. He told them to wrap it up and send it and gave them the address. He waited to hear from the director, but heard nothing for several days. Finally he sent a telegram: "Did vase arrive?" Shortly he received this response: "Vase arrived. But why was each piece wrapped separately?"2
As Abraham Lincoln said, "You may fool all the people some of the time, you can even fool some of the people all of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time."
But with God we can never fool Him any of the time. "Be sure your sins will find you out"—mine too!
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, deliver me from the sin of denial and trying to fool myself into justifying whatever wrong I want and choose to do—let alone trying to deceive You. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus's name, amen."
- Joined
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The Art of Staying in Love - Part I
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."1
What is more exciting and exhilarating than falling in love? Is there anything?
Sadly, though, many of us have learned that it's just as easy to fall out of love as it was to fall into it. And while finding love and affection is one of our greatest personal needs, why is it that so many fail to stay in love?
Falling in love can be the start of a loving relationship, but lasting relationships don't just happen; they grow. In many ways nurturing a relationship is like tending a garden. Neglect it and it dies. Constant care and cultivation—including the following suggestions—are needed to keep love alive and growing.
Love is being there. One of the chief ingredients of love is to give another person your presence. Without presence, as Dr. David Augsburger says, love receives an invitation to die.
Presence is not only spending physical time with another person but it also means giving him or her your undivided attention when you are with him/her. It includes being sensitive to his/her feelings and aware of his/her needs. It means not only hearing with your ears but, much more so, hearing with your heart.
For instance, recently I visited with a friend who spent the entire time talking about his interests and concerns. I tried to share some of my interests, too, but felt as if my words fell on deaf ears. There was no experiencing of mutual presence—the basis for all meaningful relationships including friendships.
Love is understanding. Most behavior is caused or motivated. Once we understand this, we can be much more accepting and loving. For example, one father I know was having difficulty with one of his two children. One was the "perfect" child, the other constantly rebelling.
"Is one of your children a favorite?" I asked the father. With a tinge of embarrassment he admitted the "good" child was. "Do you think this could be the cause of your difficult son's negative behavior?" I asked again. The answer was obvious.
To be continued …
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to have an understanding heart and be sensitive to the needs of my partner, my children and/or my friends. Help me to listen with my heart, be understanding and accepting, and always be present for those I love. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus's name, amen."
1. Ephesians 5:25 (NIV).
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."1
What is more exciting and exhilarating than falling in love? Is there anything?
Sadly, though, many of us have learned that it's just as easy to fall out of love as it was to fall into it. And while finding love and affection is one of our greatest personal needs, why is it that so many fail to stay in love?
Falling in love can be the start of a loving relationship, but lasting relationships don't just happen; they grow. In many ways nurturing a relationship is like tending a garden. Neglect it and it dies. Constant care and cultivation—including the following suggestions—are needed to keep love alive and growing.
Love is being there. One of the chief ingredients of love is to give another person your presence. Without presence, as Dr. David Augsburger says, love receives an invitation to die.
Presence is not only spending physical time with another person but it also means giving him or her your undivided attention when you are with him/her. It includes being sensitive to his/her feelings and aware of his/her needs. It means not only hearing with your ears but, much more so, hearing with your heart.
For instance, recently I visited with a friend who spent the entire time talking about his interests and concerns. I tried to share some of my interests, too, but felt as if my words fell on deaf ears. There was no experiencing of mutual presence—the basis for all meaningful relationships including friendships.
Love is understanding. Most behavior is caused or motivated. Once we understand this, we can be much more accepting and loving. For example, one father I know was having difficulty with one of his two children. One was the "perfect" child, the other constantly rebelling.
"Is one of your children a favorite?" I asked the father. With a tinge of embarrassment he admitted the "good" child was. "Do you think this could be the cause of your difficult son's negative behavior?" I asked again. The answer was obvious.
To be continued …
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to have an understanding heart and be sensitive to the needs of my partner, my children and/or my friends. Help me to listen with my heart, be understanding and accepting, and always be present for those I love. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus's name, amen."
1. Ephesians 5:25 (NIV).
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The Art of Staying in Love - Part II
"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise…. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit … always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."1
In continuing our three-part series on "The Art of Staying in Love" we need to understand that much negative behavior in adults as well as children is caused by not feeling adequately loved. This may have its roots in present relationships or from unmet childhood needs. Either way, when people are acting negatively or yelling, they are hurting and, in a way, however clumsily, are yelling for help. If we can see this and take the time to understand the real cause behind their behavior instead of taking it personally and yelling back, we can go a long way in strengthening our love relationships. Admittedly, this isn't easy but we do need to work at it.
Love is also accepting responsibility. Most of us bring the excess baggage of unresolved issues from the past into our close relationships. For example, the man who didn't get along with his mother and is still angry at her will inevitably take out his hostility on his wife and family. Or the woman who felt mistreated by her father or some other significant male and is distrustful of men will take out her hurt and anger on her husband, and so on.
If we desire to stay and grow in love, it is imperative that each of us accepts responsibility for resolving our inner conflicts that cause dissension in our present relationships. We were not responsible for our upbringing but we are now totally responsible for what we do about resolving any negative effects our past had on us.
Love is more than physical intimacy. Love is much more than a physical relationship. It is also an emotional relationship. The man who ignores the emotional needs of his wife and expects to receive a warm response in bed is inviting frustration. Women are not machines to be turned on at will. Physical intimacy starts in the kitchen at six, not in the bedroom at nine, ten, or eleven—or even later. A long-lasting physical relationship is the result of an ongoing healthy, long-lasting emotional relationship.
On the other hand, the wife who no longer shows any interest in her husband's life outside the home feels totally shocked when she discovers that one of the younger women at the office has. Many men (and women too) who get involved in extra-marital activity, don't do it so much for sexual reasons but for companionship—someone who will listen to them and make them feel important and appreciated.
To be concluded …
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be understanding of and always sensitive to the needs of my partner and my children [if you have any]. Help me always in all ways to be 'as Jesus' to them and they, seeing Jesus in me, will want the same for themselves. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus's name, amen."
<
)))><
1. Ephesians 5:15-21 (NIV).
"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise…. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit … always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."1
In continuing our three-part series on "The Art of Staying in Love" we need to understand that much negative behavior in adults as well as children is caused by not feeling adequately loved. This may have its roots in present relationships or from unmet childhood needs. Either way, when people are acting negatively or yelling, they are hurting and, in a way, however clumsily, are yelling for help. If we can see this and take the time to understand the real cause behind their behavior instead of taking it personally and yelling back, we can go a long way in strengthening our love relationships. Admittedly, this isn't easy but we do need to work at it.
Love is also accepting responsibility. Most of us bring the excess baggage of unresolved issues from the past into our close relationships. For example, the man who didn't get along with his mother and is still angry at her will inevitably take out his hostility on his wife and family. Or the woman who felt mistreated by her father or some other significant male and is distrustful of men will take out her hurt and anger on her husband, and so on.
If we desire to stay and grow in love, it is imperative that each of us accepts responsibility for resolving our inner conflicts that cause dissension in our present relationships. We were not responsible for our upbringing but we are now totally responsible for what we do about resolving any negative effects our past had on us.
Love is more than physical intimacy. Love is much more than a physical relationship. It is also an emotional relationship. The man who ignores the emotional needs of his wife and expects to receive a warm response in bed is inviting frustration. Women are not machines to be turned on at will. Physical intimacy starts in the kitchen at six, not in the bedroom at nine, ten, or eleven—or even later. A long-lasting physical relationship is the result of an ongoing healthy, long-lasting emotional relationship.
On the other hand, the wife who no longer shows any interest in her husband's life outside the home feels totally shocked when she discovers that one of the younger women at the office has. Many men (and women too) who get involved in extra-marital activity, don't do it so much for sexual reasons but for companionship—someone who will listen to them and make them feel important and appreciated.
To be concluded …
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be understanding of and always sensitive to the needs of my partner and my children [if you have any]. Help me always in all ways to be 'as Jesus' to them and they, seeing Jesus in me, will want the same for themselves. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus's name, amen."
<
)))><1. Ephesians 5:15-21 (NIV).
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The Art of Staying in Love - Part III
"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."1
As we have been discussing this week true love has many characteristics, another of which is as follows:
Love is romance. I read about one woman who had been married for 25 years. She was in her front yard when the newlywed man from across the street arrived home from work. His wife rushed out the door to greet him and they stood embracing for a long time.
The observing woman got the message. When her husband came home that evening she did likewise. The rewards of all such romantic gestures are well worth the effort. And men, don't forget that our ladies love a rose from time to time and other "little things" that make them feel loved and important. A good tip for keeping romance alive, as one person suggested, is to have an affair—with your wife!
Love is also a commitment. Love that lasts is a commitment of one imperfect person to another imperfect person. It means that no matter what, I am committed to you and to your growth. I will be what you need me to be—not necessarily what you want me to be. If you need me to be loving and affectionate, I will be loving and affectionate. Or, if for your growth you need me to be lovingly tough and firm, I will be lovingly tough and firm. Within the bounds of my own imperfections I will always strive to do and be what is best for your growth.
This kind of commitment means that one will not try to manipulate or control the other person to get his or her own way, but will at all times maintain gut-level, open and honest communication. It isn't easy, but it is the way of love.
Love is spiritual. Love is not only physical and emotional, it is also spiritual. For instance, sociologist Steven Nock of the University of Virginia, studied the link between religion (the spiritual) and the family. He concluded that couples who attend church regularly are 42 percent more likely to be still married for the first time than couples who don't go to church.
However, it's more than just going to church that makes a marriage happy. It's commitment that makes the difference. Those truly committed to their spiritual faith are 23 percent more likely to have a "very happy" marriage than couples who don't go to church.
The point is when we respond to God's love, He gives us "a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline"—all essential for cultivating loving relationships. So, if you don't attend church regularly, why not start this week. Find a church where love, friendship, and affection are expressed. This, too, can help to greatly enrich your love life.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to realize that among the many requirements for lasting loving relationships is a commitment, not only to my partner, but also a deep commitment to You. Help me always to live in harmony with Your will and keep you in the center of my life and relationships. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus's name, amen."
1. 2 Timothy1:7 (NIV).
"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."1
As we have been discussing this week true love has many characteristics, another of which is as follows:
Love is romance. I read about one woman who had been married for 25 years. She was in her front yard when the newlywed man from across the street arrived home from work. His wife rushed out the door to greet him and they stood embracing for a long time.
The observing woman got the message. When her husband came home that evening she did likewise. The rewards of all such romantic gestures are well worth the effort. And men, don't forget that our ladies love a rose from time to time and other "little things" that make them feel loved and important. A good tip for keeping romance alive, as one person suggested, is to have an affair—with your wife!
Love is also a commitment. Love that lasts is a commitment of one imperfect person to another imperfect person. It means that no matter what, I am committed to you and to your growth. I will be what you need me to be—not necessarily what you want me to be. If you need me to be loving and affectionate, I will be loving and affectionate. Or, if for your growth you need me to be lovingly tough and firm, I will be lovingly tough and firm. Within the bounds of my own imperfections I will always strive to do and be what is best for your growth.
This kind of commitment means that one will not try to manipulate or control the other person to get his or her own way, but will at all times maintain gut-level, open and honest communication. It isn't easy, but it is the way of love.
Love is spiritual. Love is not only physical and emotional, it is also spiritual. For instance, sociologist Steven Nock of the University of Virginia, studied the link between religion (the spiritual) and the family. He concluded that couples who attend church regularly are 42 percent more likely to be still married for the first time than couples who don't go to church.
However, it's more than just going to church that makes a marriage happy. It's commitment that makes the difference. Those truly committed to their spiritual faith are 23 percent more likely to have a "very happy" marriage than couples who don't go to church.
The point is when we respond to God's love, He gives us "a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline"—all essential for cultivating loving relationships. So, if you don't attend church regularly, why not start this week. Find a church where love, friendship, and affection are expressed. This, too, can help to greatly enrich your love life.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to realize that among the many requirements for lasting loving relationships is a commitment, not only to my partner, but also a deep commitment to You. Help me always to live in harmony with Your will and keep you in the center of my life and relationships. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus's name, amen."
1. 2 Timothy1:7 (NIV).
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Reaching Others Jesus' Way
"When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. He said to his disciples, "The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields."1
"Years ago, a woman missionary went to Tunis in North Africa, where she tried to reach Muslims for Christ. She met with little success, as often seems to be the case in Muslim countries. But she persisted, above all trying to love those to whom she witnessed.
One Muslim boy came to her home every week for English lessons. As she taught him English, she tried to tell him about Jesus, but he was unmoved. Finally, the summer before he was to go away to the university came, and he dropped his English sessions. One day, just before his departure, he came to say goodbye to the missionary for the final time. They had tea together and she told him again of the love of Jesus. But while he was polite, he was adamant in resisting the gospel.
At last, he bid farewell and headed down the path through the garden, leading to the outside gate. Here he stopped and looked back and he saw his teacher standing in the doorway looking after him with tears streaming down her face. He could resist no longer. Her tears conquered the rebellion in his heart. He returned up the path and into her living room, where he trusted Christ as His Savior."
You may have heard this story before, but I think it is a great reminder for us. In order to be effective witnesses for Christ, we need to see what Jesus sees and feel what He feels. Only then can we truly be His hands and feet in reaching others for His Kingdom.
Too often I have heard folks say they have not accepted Christ or won't go to church because they feel judged by Christians or feel that they are being condemned. This should not be. Just as Jesus had compassion on the crowds in the verse above, we too are to have compassion on the numerous souls around us who desperately need Christ. Let us focus on loving God and loving others as ourselves, just like Jesus told us to do. He will handle the rest.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, our world today is filled with people who will spend eternity in hell unless they come to know you. Allow us to feel the urgency to step up and be the workers you are looking for to bring them to you. Not through our many words, but through the compassion we demonstrate to them. May they see Jesus in us and find their salvation to experience Jesus for themselves as well. Help me see what you see and feel what you feel so that I can act as you would act. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name. Amen.
"When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. He said to his disciples, "The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields."1
"Years ago, a woman missionary went to Tunis in North Africa, where she tried to reach Muslims for Christ. She met with little success, as often seems to be the case in Muslim countries. But she persisted, above all trying to love those to whom she witnessed.
One Muslim boy came to her home every week for English lessons. As she taught him English, she tried to tell him about Jesus, but he was unmoved. Finally, the summer before he was to go away to the university came, and he dropped his English sessions. One day, just before his departure, he came to say goodbye to the missionary for the final time. They had tea together and she told him again of the love of Jesus. But while he was polite, he was adamant in resisting the gospel.
At last, he bid farewell and headed down the path through the garden, leading to the outside gate. Here he stopped and looked back and he saw his teacher standing in the doorway looking after him with tears streaming down her face. He could resist no longer. Her tears conquered the rebellion in his heart. He returned up the path and into her living room, where he trusted Christ as His Savior."
You may have heard this story before, but I think it is a great reminder for us. In order to be effective witnesses for Christ, we need to see what Jesus sees and feel what He feels. Only then can we truly be His hands and feet in reaching others for His Kingdom.
Too often I have heard folks say they have not accepted Christ or won't go to church because they feel judged by Christians or feel that they are being condemned. This should not be. Just as Jesus had compassion on the crowds in the verse above, we too are to have compassion on the numerous souls around us who desperately need Christ. Let us focus on loving God and loving others as ourselves, just like Jesus told us to do. He will handle the rest.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, our world today is filled with people who will spend eternity in hell unless they come to know you. Allow us to feel the urgency to step up and be the workers you are looking for to bring them to you. Not through our many words, but through the compassion we demonstrate to them. May they see Jesus in us and find their salvation to experience Jesus for themselves as well. Help me see what you see and feel what you feel so that I can act as you would act. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name. Amen.
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Doers vs. Watchers
"Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless."1
"Dr. J.B. Gambrel tells an amusing story from General Stonewall Jackson's famous valley campaign. Jackson's army found itself on one side of a river when it needed to be on the other side. After telling his engineers to plan and build a bridge so the army could cross, he called his wagon master in to tell him that it was urgent the wagon train cross the river as soon as possible. The wagon master started gathering all the logs, rocks and fence rails he could find and built a bridge. Long before daylight the wagon master told General Jackson that all the wagons and artillery had crossed the river. General Jackson asked where the engineers were and what were they doing. The wagon master's only reply was that they were in their tent drawing up plans."2
It has been said that there are three kinds of people: those who make things happen; those who watch things happen; and those who don't know that anything is happening!
With God's help, I want to be a doer and among those who make things happen. In college days, I was attending a college-age youth group in a local church. The group was struggling and I was asked by the leaders what I thought was wrong. I said that I didn't feel I had a right to criticize unless I was willing to do something about the problems. Guess what? I got actively involved as a doer. Those were some of my best college days.
Let's not be critical unless we are willing to be involved. To be a doer, start doing something of eternal value, realizing that we serve God by serving people.
Suggested prayer, "Dear God, please help me to invest my life by being actively involved as a doer in the work of Your Kingdom—no matter how small and menial the tasks I do may appear to be. And help me every day to be 'as Christ' to all who cross my path. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus's name, amen."
"Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless."1
"Dr. J.B. Gambrel tells an amusing story from General Stonewall Jackson's famous valley campaign. Jackson's army found itself on one side of a river when it needed to be on the other side. After telling his engineers to plan and build a bridge so the army could cross, he called his wagon master in to tell him that it was urgent the wagon train cross the river as soon as possible. The wagon master started gathering all the logs, rocks and fence rails he could find and built a bridge. Long before daylight the wagon master told General Jackson that all the wagons and artillery had crossed the river. General Jackson asked where the engineers were and what were they doing. The wagon master's only reply was that they were in their tent drawing up plans."2
It has been said that there are three kinds of people: those who make things happen; those who watch things happen; and those who don't know that anything is happening!
With God's help, I want to be a doer and among those who make things happen. In college days, I was attending a college-age youth group in a local church. The group was struggling and I was asked by the leaders what I thought was wrong. I said that I didn't feel I had a right to criticize unless I was willing to do something about the problems. Guess what? I got actively involved as a doer. Those were some of my best college days.
Let's not be critical unless we are willing to be involved. To be a doer, start doing something of eternal value, realizing that we serve God by serving people.
Suggested prayer, "Dear God, please help me to invest my life by being actively involved as a doer in the work of Your Kingdom—no matter how small and menial the tasks I do may appear to be. And help me every day to be 'as Christ' to all who cross my path. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus's name, amen."
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When You Don't Feel Like Being Loving
"Instead, we will lovingly follow the truth at all times—speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly—and so become more and more in every way like Christ…."1
Do you ever get your feelings hurt? If so, when this happens, how do you usually react? Do you want to withdraw from that person or get angry? Or if it it is a friend whom you feel hurt you, do you feel like ending the friendship?
When I feel hurt, my tendency is to want to withdraw, but what I try to remember to do is to pray and admit to God just how I feel and then ask Him to help me to be "as Jesus" to this person no matter how I feel, and then choose to do the loving thing towards this person, whether I feel like it or not.
Wherever possible, I also choose to share my hurt feelings with the person involved with the goal to "speak the truth in love." To do this it is important to use "I" messages, not "you" messages. That is, to say, "I really feel hurt and need to talk to you about such and such…." Don't say, "You really hurt my feeling when you did or said such and such." We need to remember that what the other person says or does is their issue. The manner in which we respond and how we feel is always our issue and our responsibility.
I am not in any way seeking to justify what the other person does; rather, I am taking full responsibility for what I do and the manner in which I react. If I over-react to what is said or done, that is triggering some unfinished business in me. Furthermore, to the degree that I overreact, that is entirely my problem and my responsibility.
Admittedly, speaking the truth in love when we are feeling hurt and/or angry is much easier said than done, but it is something we need to learn how to do to maintain loving relationships.
At the same time, if the person who we feel has hurt us has a habit of lashing out when things don't go their way, then we need to be firm with tough love, letting him or her know that if he/she continues to treat us in a hurtful manner, we will need to distance our-self from them, until they resolve their issue.
In all conflict situations, with God's help, as a Christian, our goal is always to speak the truth in love.
Suggested prayer, "Dear God, when my feelings are hurt, please help me to evaluate my feelings to see if they are justified, or if I am over-reacting. If the latter, please help me to resolve the cause of my reaction and never blame anyone else for my issue. And even if my hurt feelings are justified, always help me to be 'as Jesus' to the person in question and always speak the truth in love. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus's name, amen."
1. Ephesians 4:15 (TLB).
"Instead, we will lovingly follow the truth at all times—speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly—and so become more and more in every way like Christ…."1
Do you ever get your feelings hurt? If so, when this happens, how do you usually react? Do you want to withdraw from that person or get angry? Or if it it is a friend whom you feel hurt you, do you feel like ending the friendship?
When I feel hurt, my tendency is to want to withdraw, but what I try to remember to do is to pray and admit to God just how I feel and then ask Him to help me to be "as Jesus" to this person no matter how I feel, and then choose to do the loving thing towards this person, whether I feel like it or not.
Wherever possible, I also choose to share my hurt feelings with the person involved with the goal to "speak the truth in love." To do this it is important to use "I" messages, not "you" messages. That is, to say, "I really feel hurt and need to talk to you about such and such…." Don't say, "You really hurt my feeling when you did or said such and such." We need to remember that what the other person says or does is their issue. The manner in which we respond and how we feel is always our issue and our responsibility.
I am not in any way seeking to justify what the other person does; rather, I am taking full responsibility for what I do and the manner in which I react. If I over-react to what is said or done, that is triggering some unfinished business in me. Furthermore, to the degree that I overreact, that is entirely my problem and my responsibility.
Admittedly, speaking the truth in love when we are feeling hurt and/or angry is much easier said than done, but it is something we need to learn how to do to maintain loving relationships.
At the same time, if the person who we feel has hurt us has a habit of lashing out when things don't go their way, then we need to be firm with tough love, letting him or her know that if he/she continues to treat us in a hurtful manner, we will need to distance our-self from them, until they resolve their issue.
In all conflict situations, with God's help, as a Christian, our goal is always to speak the truth in love.
Suggested prayer, "Dear God, when my feelings are hurt, please help me to evaluate my feelings to see if they are justified, or if I am over-reacting. If the latter, please help me to resolve the cause of my reaction and never blame anyone else for my issue. And even if my hurt feelings are justified, always help me to be 'as Jesus' to the person in question and always speak the truth in love. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus's name, amen."
1. Ephesians 4:15 (TLB).
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The Fruit of a Deeper Root
"People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy."1
Problems. Nobody is immune from committing sins. However, often the problems we see are not the problems that are! For instance, a problem, whether it is emotional, spiritual or physical, is often the symptom of a deeper problem; that is, "the fruit of a deeper root." The root cause may be an unresolved emotional, spiritual or moral problem which can express itself in any one of a number of ways such as the following: relational conflicts, worry, stress, anxiety, insomnia, depression, addictions, spiritual dryness, physical sickness, abuse, etc., etc.
Many physical symptoms can be symbolic. For example, ulcers may be caused not so much by what we eat but by what is eating us. Tension headaches can be caused by "jamming up" anger in our head. Aching shoulders may be caused by our feeling that we are burdened by a heavy load. And if I have a pain in the neck, I may be one or have someone in my life whom I feel is a "pain in the neck."
Confession opens the door for recovery: not only from the symptoms but also from the causes.
After David confessed his sin, he said, "Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty! When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, 'I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.' And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone."2
A good example to follow.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, here's the symptom/s (be specific_____________name it/them) in my life. I acknowledge these to you. Please give me the courage to face the cause/s of these and lead me to the help I need to resolve them. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
1. Proverbs 28:13 (NLT).
2. Psalm 32:1-5 (NLT).
"People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy."1
Problems. Nobody is immune from committing sins. However, often the problems we see are not the problems that are! For instance, a problem, whether it is emotional, spiritual or physical, is often the symptom of a deeper problem; that is, "the fruit of a deeper root." The root cause may be an unresolved emotional, spiritual or moral problem which can express itself in any one of a number of ways such as the following: relational conflicts, worry, stress, anxiety, insomnia, depression, addictions, spiritual dryness, physical sickness, abuse, etc., etc.
Many physical symptoms can be symbolic. For example, ulcers may be caused not so much by what we eat but by what is eating us. Tension headaches can be caused by "jamming up" anger in our head. Aching shoulders may be caused by our feeling that we are burdened by a heavy load. And if I have a pain in the neck, I may be one or have someone in my life whom I feel is a "pain in the neck."
Confession opens the door for recovery: not only from the symptoms but also from the causes.
After David confessed his sin, he said, "Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty! When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, 'I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.' And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone."2
A good example to follow.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, here's the symptom/s (be specific_____________name it/them) in my life. I acknowledge these to you. Please give me the courage to face the cause/s of these and lead me to the help I need to resolve them. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
1. Proverbs 28:13 (NLT).
2. Psalm 32:1-5 (NLT).
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Many Reasons to be Thankful
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."1
I saw this the other day and thought it was appropriate to share on this Thanksgiving.
"I am grateful for…
1. Early wakeups = children to love
2. House to clean = safe place to live
3. Laundry to do = clothes to wear
4. Dirty dishes = food to eat
5. Crumbs under the table = family meals
6. Grocery shopping to do = money to use
7. Toilet to clean = indoor plumbing
8. Lots of noise = kids having fun
9. Endless questions = a child who is learning
10. Getting into bed tired & sore = I'm still alive"2
These may seem simple and mundane, but they are all gifts our Heavenly Father has given us that we sometimes take for granted. Many of the things we complain about are things others would love to have. Our perspective makes all the difference.
Helen Keller wisely said, "So much has been given to me that I have no time to ponder that which I don't have." Let this be our attitude this Thanksgiving and always. Let us live with such gratitude that we don't have time to think about that which we don't have, but instead appreciate what we have and love those God has given us to share life with.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you because you never change and you constantly fill my life with blessings. Forgive me for taking the simple things for granted at times. Give me a heart of continual gratitude and keep me from complaining. Thank you for your love, faithfulness and provision. You are a good Father and I praise you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. In Jesus' name, amen."
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."1
I saw this the other day and thought it was appropriate to share on this Thanksgiving.
"I am grateful for…
1. Early wakeups = children to love
2. House to clean = safe place to live
3. Laundry to do = clothes to wear
4. Dirty dishes = food to eat
5. Crumbs under the table = family meals
6. Grocery shopping to do = money to use
7. Toilet to clean = indoor plumbing
8. Lots of noise = kids having fun
9. Endless questions = a child who is learning
10. Getting into bed tired & sore = I'm still alive"2
These may seem simple and mundane, but they are all gifts our Heavenly Father has given us that we sometimes take for granted. Many of the things we complain about are things others would love to have. Our perspective makes all the difference.
Helen Keller wisely said, "So much has been given to me that I have no time to ponder that which I don't have." Let this be our attitude this Thanksgiving and always. Let us live with such gratitude that we don't have time to think about that which we don't have, but instead appreciate what we have and love those God has given us to share life with.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you because you never change and you constantly fill my life with blessings. Forgive me for taking the simple things for granted at times. Give me a heart of continual gratitude and keep me from complaining. Thank you for your love, faithfulness and provision. You are a good Father and I praise you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. In Jesus' name, amen."
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Successful Living
"God's laws are perfect. They protect us, make us wise, and give us joy and light."1
Leonardo da Vinci once said, "Nature never breaks her own laws." Fortunately for us it doesn't. If it weren't for the law of gravity, for example, the earth wouldn't stay in its orbit and we'd all fly off into outer space. If we try to break nature's laws—such as the law of gravity, we can't. It will break or even kill us!
There are universal moral laws, too, without which our society would fall apart. If we defy these laws, they will also break us, or rather; we will break ourselves against them. Most man-made laws are important too. They make living together possible. Imagine driving on today's highways without any traffic laws!
There are also laws that govern human development. For example, every child needs considerable nurture, unconditional love, acceptance and approval throughout his developmental years. When this law is violated, so are our children—many of whom are left with broken lives. There are also laws that apply to adult health, happiness, and well-being. Defy, ignore or break these laws and we break ourselves.
God has also given us spiritual laws … not to take away our joy or freedom, but to give us the fullness of life as well as eternal life. We defy these laws to our eternal destruction.
We heed these laws not because we are legalists and have to obey them, but because we want and choose to obey them because we know we need to for our own well-being and that of our loved ones. As the Psalmist wrote, "God's laws are perfect. They protect us, make us wise, and give us joy and light. God's laws are pure, eternal, just. They are more desirable than gold. They are sweeter than honey dripping from a honeycomb. For they warn us away from harm and give success to those who obey them."2
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to understand that all of your laws are for my total well-being—both for this life and for the life to come. Give me the good sense and courage to always live in harmony with your laws so that I will live in harmony with myself, others and you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
1. Psalm 19:7 (TLB).
2. Psalm 19:7–11 (TLB).
"God's laws are perfect. They protect us, make us wise, and give us joy and light."1
Leonardo da Vinci once said, "Nature never breaks her own laws." Fortunately for us it doesn't. If it weren't for the law of gravity, for example, the earth wouldn't stay in its orbit and we'd all fly off into outer space. If we try to break nature's laws—such as the law of gravity, we can't. It will break or even kill us!
There are universal moral laws, too, without which our society would fall apart. If we defy these laws, they will also break us, or rather; we will break ourselves against them. Most man-made laws are important too. They make living together possible. Imagine driving on today's highways without any traffic laws!
There are also laws that govern human development. For example, every child needs considerable nurture, unconditional love, acceptance and approval throughout his developmental years. When this law is violated, so are our children—many of whom are left with broken lives. There are also laws that apply to adult health, happiness, and well-being. Defy, ignore or break these laws and we break ourselves.
God has also given us spiritual laws … not to take away our joy or freedom, but to give us the fullness of life as well as eternal life. We defy these laws to our eternal destruction.
We heed these laws not because we are legalists and have to obey them, but because we want and choose to obey them because we know we need to for our own well-being and that of our loved ones. As the Psalmist wrote, "God's laws are perfect. They protect us, make us wise, and give us joy and light. God's laws are pure, eternal, just. They are more desirable than gold. They are sweeter than honey dripping from a honeycomb. For they warn us away from harm and give success to those who obey them."2
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to understand that all of your laws are for my total well-being—both for this life and for the life to come. Give me the good sense and courage to always live in harmony with your laws so that I will live in harmony with myself, others and you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
1. Psalm 19:7 (TLB).
2. Psalm 19:7–11 (TLB).
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