• IP addresses are NOT logged in this forum so there's no point asking. Please note that this forum is full of homophobes, racists, lunatics, schizophrenics & absolute nut jobs with a smattering of geniuses, Chinese chauvinists, Moderate Muslims and last but not least a couple of "know-it-alls" constantly sprouting their dubious wisdom. If you believe that content generated by unsavory characters might cause you offense PLEASE LEAVE NOW! Sammyboy Admin and Staff are not responsible for your hurt feelings should you choose to read any of the content here.

    The OTHER forum is HERE so please stop asking.

I am heartbroken

Jah_rastafar_I said:
How do you tackle it head on?

It's quite an abstract concept.
Click to expand...

Yes, it's like telling a man who was born blind the grandeur of Niagara Falls or the Grand Canyon. No amount of explanation will put the blind man on the same level of understanding as the man born with sight. The blind man has to gain sight and see it for himself. Otherwise, the blind man would continue to employ whatever understanding he could garner in darkness to 'visualize' what it means to be bright. So the key to understanding it is to experience it yourself.

How to experience it ?

Rule No. 1 - Don't run away from loneliness when it confronts you. Many have developed a reflex action for loneliness by means of seeking distraction. When you run away from the subject which you're supposed to tackle, you will never understand that subject.

Rule No. 2 - You want to beat your enemy, you must know your enemy. When you stop running away from your enemy, you confront your enemy with all your might. You will begin to understand your enemy.

I say again. You need a healthy dose of honesty and courage to accomplish Rule 1. Your 'will' will come under severe examination. You know all talks about honesty and courage are hollow and they don't belong to you or become part of you unless and until they survive the test of will. Rule 2 is where you begin to develop wisdom.

A man bound in loneliness operates on a different OS from a man who is free from loneliness. The software of a free man is NOT compatible with the OS of a lonely man. When a lonely man says: "Quick, help me to get out of loneliness!" Essentially, he is saying: "Give me your software so that I can run it on my system and get myself out of loneliness." It doesn't work that way. You've to change your OS. Nobody pours new wine into old wine bag.
 
Queen Seok Duk said:
Yes, it's like telling a man who was born blind the grandeur of Niagara Falls or the Grand Canyon. No amount of explanation will put the blind man on the same level of understanding as the man born with sight. The blind man has to gain sight and see it for himself. Otherwise, the blind man would continue to employ whatever understanding he could garner in darkness to 'visualize' what it means to be bright. So the key to understanding it is to experience it yourself.
Click to expand...


Okay understood. Face it and then what?

Let's say a person feels lonely. Okay he knows he's lonely. Therefore shouldn't the next logical step be to get rid of loneliness?


You see this is the understanding i'm getting of these issues. Darkness means lack of light. Put in light and you don't get darkness. Sickness is due to disease get rid of disease and one is no more sick.

Loneliness is due to lack of companionship or bordom? Get frens to remove lonliness? Wait according to you that's not really true. Since if u're lonley and you befriend someone you're using that person and not really remove loneliness.

That's why like what i wrote earlier okay face up to your loneliness. The person admits i am lonely so what's next?
 
I feel like punching krafty, knn act like a man lah, tsk tsk tsk :oIo::oIo:
Earn more money, women will auto come find you!!!
 
To queen okay i understand more of loneliness from here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loneliness

Loneliness is a feeling in which people experience a strong sense of emptiness and solitude. Loneliness is often compared to feeling empty, unwanted, and unimportant. Someone who is lonely may find it hard to form strong interpersonal relationships.


Common symptoms

Loneliness can evoke feelings of social inadequacy. A lonely person may become convinced there is something wrong with him/herself, and that no one understands their situation. Such a person will lose confidence and will become reluctant to attempt to change or too scared to try new things for fear of further social rejection. In extreme cases, a person may feel a sense of emptiness, which may become a state of clinical depression.



it seems that treatments for loneliness requires some clinical theraphy.
 
Jah_rastafar_I said:
Okay understood. Face it and then what?

Let's say a person feels lonely. Okay he knows he's lonely. Therefore shouldn't the next logical step be to get rid of loneliness?


You see this is the understanding i'm getting of these issues. Darkness means lack of light. Put in light and you don't get darkness. Sickness is due to disease get rid of disease and one is no more sick.

Loneliness is due to lack of companionship or bordom? Get frens to remove lonliness? Wait according to you that's not really true. Since if u're lonley and you befriend someone you're using that person and not really remove loneliness.

That's why like what i wrote earlier okay face up to your loneliness. The person admits i am lonely so what's next?
Click to expand...

Jah, wiki tells you the symptoms, not the cause. If you understand loneliness from the point of wiki, that means you don't understand what I have been saying.

Your system is infected by the loneliness bugs, and you're attempting to use that infected system to understand an entirely different system that is free of loneliness bugs. You will keep moving in circle.

You said : "Okay, face it. Then what ?"

Have you faced it already ? Have you exercised honesty and courage to face it ? Once you've done that, your understanding will be on an entirely different level. You will begin to see loneliness from the angle of a honest and courageous person. You've to make the move in order to gain a better perception of loneliness. Right now you can only see it from the point of view of loneliness, not freedom. You can understand loneliness if you're free; but you can't understand freedom when you're trapped in loneliness.

You're at the ground level at Raffles Place and you can't see the Ferris Wheel at Marina Bay. I say take a lift to the pinnacle of Republic Plaza, and you will see what I have been seeing. You say: "Okay, I take a lift then what ?" I can tell you what is next, but if you've not taken the lift to a new height you will get even more confused when I tell you what is next. You've not accumulated enough 'capital' to understand what is next. It has nothing to do with intelligence.

You said: "Loneliness is due to lack of companionship." Okay, this is a very good moot point. You share this view because you haven't been able to see loneliness from a higher plain. When you look at the earth while you're standing on earth, the earth is flat. And you know the earth is not flat.

Are you aware that many married couples are lonely ? Why do you think many married women commit adultery ? Obviously loneliness has nothing whatsoever to do with companionship. Companionship is touted as an antidote for loneliness, but I have been saying all this while that all it does is 'to distract', and what's more the distraction is temporary.

CSJ does not fear PAP, and he keeps telling us to face up to PAP and you will not fear PAP. But the truth is we fear PAP, and we know CSJ doesn't fear PAP. I could never understand how CSJ got rid of that fear, especially the 'transformation' of the components of the internal character between "facing up and finally getting rid of the fear." I will never know unless I make the first step of facing up, which I wouldn't dare. The truth is the transformation that I speak of is an experience that involves the will of a person. It's not paper knowledge that can be expounded in words. How the fear disappears is an experience, not words.
 
Krafty,

You have not gone out with that girl before let alone met her face to face, yet you can become broken hearted. Notice anything wrong with that? Your problem is you invested your emotions excessively on someone you give too much credit for.

You did not lose to that accenture guy. In fact, even without that guy, you will not get her.

I repeat what I wrote in my previous post. The girl had done NOTHING to please you, yet you can tell her that you like her. This is outright lowering your self worth. Women are NOT attracted to this kind of man.

Your last ditch effort to ask her to remain as friends is actually making things worse. If she is that attractive as you described, she will have no short of men wanting to be her friend. This means she has choices but limited time for all of them. All the more no reason to waste her time to be friend with a man with lower self worth.

Despite my earlier posts to you, you simply refused to acknowledge the problem and deal with it. Let this be my last post to you on this subject. The problem is YOU - you do not posses the skills to chase women. You can blame that guy from accenture or someone else, but the real problem is YOU.

Because you lack the skills to chase women, you think what you did are the right thing, but the truth is that you are doing things wrong and making things worse. The results speak for themselves. This is like you don't know how to swim, but struggling like mad in the pool and getting nowhere.

For the last time, my kind advice to you is - go for dating lessons. There was a feature in sunday times sometime back talking about this. Go search for it or go search the internet for such lessons.

Hope you go improve your skills and come back to post good news for us to congratulate you. Good luck!
 
Jah_rastafar_I said:
Profound thanks for a more elaborate explaination.

Btw what is the 1st step one should do to face up to it?
Click to expand...

Your first step is to bomb any Chinese who speak about Chinese issues and matters unflatteringly, however true these may be. You need a mirror to face up to yourself before you can face facts. All Chinese and non-Chinese can freely opine on Chinese issues and matters, just like all Chinese can freely opine on non-Chinese issues and matters.

Islamic matters and issues excluded, unless you're not worried about getting bombed, with real bomb stuffed with real dynamite. That's simply a phenomena insecurity and lack of confidence in extreme. I'm not insecure or lacking confidence about Chinese flaws. I talk about them freely and listen to them freely with accusing any of treachery or insensivity.
 
That's alright. I'm just an innocent and ignorant ram anyway.
 
Queen Seok Duk said:
Don't run away ! Don't start looking for activities to distract yourself.
Click to expand...

Okay confront it and somehow you will attain wisdom but it won't be easy or probably impossible to explain in words. Just like how it's impossible to explain to a blind man how scenery looks like. Or explain how a color even looks like unless he knows what at least another color looks like.


Wow that's not easy at all. Most ppl won't do something new unless someone told them what would occur if they did it.

No wonder sometimes the solution is to go for professional help.


Btw a lonely person that seeks distractions like maybe frens, hobbies isn't really happy correct? Like although he's with ppl to distract him but he's still lonely in his heart.
 
Jah_rastafar_I said:
No wonder sometimes the solution is to go for professional help.
Click to expand...

Seeking professional help will only help line the pocket of the professionals and make way for their next Benz or Rolex. How can professionals help in such matters ? Unless professionals themselves have overcome loneliness. The quest for branded goods like Benz and Rolex is a tell tale sign that they're suffering from severe emptiness.

Jah_rastafar_I said:
Btw a lonely person that seeks distractions like maybe frens, hobbies isn't really happy correct? Like although he's with ppl to distract him but he's still lonely in his heart.
Click to expand...

Distractions don't last, and they can't be offered as permanent solutions. Even Leslie Cheung, Danny Chan and many others who had achieved stardom and had had many fans supporting their cause felt lonely enough to end their lives.
 
all you need is your right hand to solve all loneliness. when you are bored with it you can try with your left. it works for me
 
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/OqC1a_5If6A&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/OqC1a_5If6A&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
 
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/nigvUcb48lQ&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/nigvUcb48lQ&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

firehyrant
Psychologically, how true is the proverb 'once a slut, always a slut'? Will a woman, who has been unfaithful in the past, repeat infidelity?
Replies
11
Views
593
ginfreely
ginfreely
Les grossman
Widow finds photos of husband's secret second marriage
Replies
9
Views
841
glockman
glockman
firehyrant
is it normal to have desires to fuck your ex girlfriend a few years after breakup?
2
Replies
26
Views
2K
NanoSpeed
N
UltimaOnline
[Sg] - Woman customer and Tampines popiah stall woman owner dulan each other over large order and queuing requirement
Replies
7
Views
574
eatshitndie
eatshitndie
P
Serious Guess??? Jiuhu Slut abandoned baby in cereal box in UK!
Replies
7
Views
457
Sustanon
Sustanon
Back
Top