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5 Barbaric Behaviours At A Sinkie Chink Wedding

JohnTan

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
It’s the start of the wedding season again and there’s practically one to attend every other weekend.

While they are supposed to be the happiest occasions (The food! The booze! And a happy union!), there are a few things I think we need to STOP doing at weddings in Singapore.



1) Be late. All. The. Time.

chinese-wedding-invite-rsvp

chinese-wedding-invite-rsvp.jpg


I did a quick check on Google and it says that “on time” means 20-25 minutes BEFORE the ceremony start time stated on the invitation.

But what are the chances of that happening in Singapore? Probably as likely as a snow blizzard coming our way.

I can’t understand why is it acceptable to stroll in leisurely at 8.15pm when the invite clearly states that dinner will be served at 7.30pm. Would you show up 45 minutes late for a meeting or a flight?



2) Not RSVP

rsvp-wedding
rsvp-wedding.jpg


While showing up without RSVP or suddenly bringing a +1 is quite annoying (how are we supposed to magically conjure you a seat out of nowhere?), RSVP-ing and NOT showing up is not only annoying, it is extremely rude and disrespectful.

Unless, of course, there’s a REAL emergency (no, breaking a nail does not count)… It is only polite to at least inform or pass on the message that you are unable to attend.



3) Cheesy photo montages

wedding-montage

wedding-montage.jpg


You know, the cheesy photo montage of the wedding album (of you and your partner pointing at the birds in the sky and water in the ocean) and then another cheesy photo montage of your childhood (usually made in Powerpoint with awkward music in the background) that we all have to sit through?



4) Humiliating gatecrashing activities

bittergourd-gummy-bear
bittergourd-gummy-bear.jpg


Ok, I get it that the groom needs to go through some “tests” to prove his love for his wife-to-be.

But I don’t see how licking whipped cream off the groomsmen’s nipples while the cameras click away is in any way fun or meaningful?

I recently heard of a groom who had to eat some really strange things (wasabi fish sperm anyone?) and wound up with severe food poisoning. In the end, he couldn’t even attend his own wedding dinner.



5) Acting like it’s YOUR wedding

asian-bridesmaid

asian-bridesmaid.jpg[


Now, whose wedding is it?

Please don’t wear white (my greatest pet peeve!) to a wedding because that is reserved for the bride — it’s HER Big Day after all.

Or attempt to outshine the bride. I know of someone who wore a haute couture runway gown to a wedding and walked into ballroom JUST before the couple was about to march in. Seriously?

Also, seating plans exist for a reason and anybody who has been through this can tell you, it’s no easy feat trying to fit different groups of friends nicely into tables of 10.

The couple would have probably already tried several permutations before arriving at the final seating plan, but if you really MUST switch seats, then just find somebody to switch with you. Please do not harass the bride, or the bridesmaids who already have their hands (and feet) full attending to the hundred other guests at the registration table.

After all, let’s not forget why we are there in the first place – to celebrate the union of your close friend or family who have finally found their better half!

Disclaimer: No offence in any way intended to Andrew & Jacqueline whose wedding video was screen-capped for the cover photo. I actually watched your video and really enjoyed it and it was memorable!



Top photo via

Part-time co-founder of ClubCouture and full-time tourist, Flora spends most of her time on her blog floraisabelle.com where she writes about her travels, food adventures and life as a military wife.
http://mothership.sg/2015/01/5-thin...tional-chinese-weddings-in-spore-for-a-start/
 

babuSingh

Alfrescian
Loyal
The gatcrash is the most unnecessary shit only for kids. You want to experience sweet sour bitter lots of chances when newly weds start living together and hav kids.
 

JohnTan

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
fucking johntan this nigger probably wants to do a shit skinned/mudlay piggy head shaking wedding.

I did far better than the loser in the article who had to lick whip cream off a man's nipple. I got to do it with a chiobu's nipple!
 

Jah_rastafar_I

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
I did far better than the loser in the article who had to lick whip cream off a man's nipple. I got to do it with a chiobu's nipple!

you nigger it depends on what they want the groom to do some are hard some are easy you stupid shit skin.
 
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