#11838: What should I do?
https://www.whispers.sg/c/sgwhispers/posts/11838
Long story ahead. So me (31f) and my husband (32m) have been together for 8 years. Every Saturday we would send our 6 year old boy to tuition centre, and then we will proceed to the nearby mall to relax before fetching our boy home. Last month on a certain Saturday, my female friend decided to jio me for an afternoon tea, and since me and my husband were going to be out (as above), we then met up at a Starbucks outlet for a quick catch-up, and we sat at the outdoor seats since it was full inside (this is crucial). Halfway through our chit-chat, my hubby went to order a second drink, and then this was when shit happened. At that time our topic was revolving around our recent holiday trips, and my friend showed me her boyfriend's new outfit which she bought for him during the vacation. Friend: "Does he look smart? Very difficult to pick clothes for him, because he doesn't seem to like fashion clothing. This is by far the only one he felt comfortable wearing." This was where my reply went wrong. Me: "Not bad lah. At least better than my skinny hubby lor, short and ugly face, wear what also not nice hahahaha" But I realised I was the only one laughing. My friend was stunned. Not only because she, which she admitted later, didn't expect me to say such rude remarks about my own husband, but rather I exclaimed it so loud that just nice my hubby walking back heard it (and because the entrance was behind me, with my friend sitting opposite me, she saw my hubby walking back at the same time I was saying that regretful sentence). He slammed his drink onto the table, asked me if that was my truthful thoughts all along about him, and left. I felt so apologetic. Back home I tried to explain everything I can, that it was meant to be a joke, and I was very sorry for that. I never see his height as an issue for the last 8 years, and I know for the sake of this family he has been working super long hours which eat into his sleep, and that resulted in him having acne all over the face. But I never dislike him for that. I knew he worked super hard for us, and I am very grateful for him. But since then he has been ignoring me. The only time he speak was when he was playing and chatting with our son. We never shared the same room since. He moved to sleep with our son instead. It's been 4 weeks already. And I can see how much my words have hurt him. He started going for facial washes, many many facial products delivering to our home, even going to gym workout everyday after work (all of which he doesn't do at all last time - because he was busy with work all the time). Once I saw him throwing away his almost entire wardrobe which I stopped him from doing it. I knew my words hurt him too much. I wanted to make amends, but he wouldn't want to listen or speak to me. I even transferred $1,000 to his bank account to pay for all the facial products and services he bought due to a fault of mine as an apology. What can I do more to make amends? I felt really sorry for this. If not for my stupid mouth our relationship wouldn't turn this way. He is a wonderful husband to me, and really I love him for who he is. But to see him doing this to himself just because of my terrible remarks, I just feel terrible. I hope to find a solution to this, I have been having sleepless nights since then, always crying myself to sleep because I don't know what else I can do. :'(
https://www.whispers.sg/c/sgwhispers/posts/11838
Long story ahead. So me (31f) and my husband (32m) have been together for 8 years. Every Saturday we would send our 6 year old boy to tuition centre, and then we will proceed to the nearby mall to relax before fetching our boy home. Last month on a certain Saturday, my female friend decided to jio me for an afternoon tea, and since me and my husband were going to be out (as above), we then met up at a Starbucks outlet for a quick catch-up, and we sat at the outdoor seats since it was full inside (this is crucial). Halfway through our chit-chat, my hubby went to order a second drink, and then this was when shit happened. At that time our topic was revolving around our recent holiday trips, and my friend showed me her boyfriend's new outfit which she bought for him during the vacation. Friend: "Does he look smart? Very difficult to pick clothes for him, because he doesn't seem to like fashion clothing. This is by far the only one he felt comfortable wearing." This was where my reply went wrong. Me: "Not bad lah. At least better than my skinny hubby lor, short and ugly face, wear what also not nice hahahaha" But I realised I was the only one laughing. My friend was stunned. Not only because she, which she admitted later, didn't expect me to say such rude remarks about my own husband, but rather I exclaimed it so loud that just nice my hubby walking back heard it (and because the entrance was behind me, with my friend sitting opposite me, she saw my hubby walking back at the same time I was saying that regretful sentence). He slammed his drink onto the table, asked me if that was my truthful thoughts all along about him, and left. I felt so apologetic. Back home I tried to explain everything I can, that it was meant to be a joke, and I was very sorry for that. I never see his height as an issue for the last 8 years, and I know for the sake of this family he has been working super long hours which eat into his sleep, and that resulted in him having acne all over the face. But I never dislike him for that. I knew he worked super hard for us, and I am very grateful for him. But since then he has been ignoring me. The only time he speak was when he was playing and chatting with our son. We never shared the same room since. He moved to sleep with our son instead. It's been 4 weeks already. And I can see how much my words have hurt him. He started going for facial washes, many many facial products delivering to our home, even going to gym workout everyday after work (all of which he doesn't do at all last time - because he was busy with work all the time). Once I saw him throwing away his almost entire wardrobe which I stopped him from doing it. I knew my words hurt him too much. I wanted to make amends, but he wouldn't want to listen or speak to me. I even transferred $1,000 to his bank account to pay for all the facial products and services he bought due to a fault of mine as an apology. What can I do more to make amends? I felt really sorry for this. If not for my stupid mouth our relationship wouldn't turn this way. He is a wonderful husband to me, and really I love him for who he is. But to see him doing this to himself just because of my terrible remarks, I just feel terrible. I hope to find a solution to this, I have been having sleepless nights since then, always crying myself to sleep because I don't know what else I can do. :'(
