‘I have no regrets’: Confinement actress Cynthia Koh on not being a mother
Actress Cynthia Koh says the motherhood boat has long sailed and has accepted she will be child-free. ST PHOTO: HESTER TAN
Joanne Soh
UPDATED
15 OCT 2023, 6:02 PM SGT
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SINGAPORE – In Confinement, directed by Singaporean film-maker Kelvin Tong, actress Cynthia Koh plays Ah Qing, a nanny hired by Rebecca Lim’s character to look after her newborn baby.
In her own life, being child-free is a choice Koh has made, having accepted that the boat to motherhood has long sailed.
She shared many scenes with a baby in the psychological thriller and had to learn how to cradle, soothe, feed and burp the infant during pre-production “training”.
The film opens in cinemas on Thursday.
Over the course of her two-week shoot with the baby, Koh says she did not feel any maternal yearnings.
The thought of being a mother did cross her mind, the 49-year-old admits, but that was many years ago.
“I used to believe that childbirth is a responsibility for all women,” Koh says.
“Growing up, my plan was to start dating and perhaps settle down when I was around 27 years old.
“But when I got to that age, I realised that local men would have just embarked on their careers in their late 20s as they had to fulfil their national service. How can one start a family with empty pockets?”
She was also apprehensive of dating older men.
“What if they are controlling?” she asks, adding that time had flown by while trying to find Mr Right. “By then, it was too late to have kids already.”
She adds with a laugh: “That’s why I always say, women, please don’t plan too much.”
Koh, who has no godchildren, nieces or nephews, says adoption did cross her mind, but it was merely a fleeting thought.
Actress Cynthia Koh says the motherhood boat has long sailed and has accepted she will be child-free. ST PHOTO: HESTER TAN
When she was in her early 40s, her mother suggested she could try getting pregnant using donor sperm, which Koh laughed off.
“I’m past the nagging stage already,” the actress, who is single, says. “It is okay if you cannot be a parent.”
She keeps herself busy with work and trying new experiences to keep loneliness at bay.
Being on a film like Confinement is one such endeavour.
She had also appeared in the 2000 Hong Kong action film 2000 AD starring Aaron Kwok, though she called that a cameo.
While she has starred in many television series over her three-decade career, the veteran actress says working with Tong was an eye-opener.
“Being on a film set is very different. Work on a TV series is much faster paced as we must finish filming an episode within three to four days, and each episode has 28 to 30 scenes,” says Koh.
With Tong, they had time to develop each scene and pre-production workshops.
She adds that Tong, who wrote the script in English before translating it into Mandarin, met the actresses and worked on their lines to ensure they sounded natural.
Koh initially felt lost when they started filming. “There were times I felt like I was second-guessing myself, but Kelvin was very reassuring.”
Cynthia Koh as the mysterious nanny in Confinement, a psychological thriller directed by Singaporean film-maker Kelvin Tong. PHOTO: GOLDEN VILLAGE
They also had to shoot around the baby’s schedule.
“You just have to work with her timing,” says Koh, recalling how they had to wait for the baby to be awake or asleep, depending on what the scene called for.
She adds: “You really need to be patient with a child. Kelvin has kids, so he’s very understanding.”
Koh says that as she grew older, she also became more comfortable travelling on her own.
“Sometimes, my friends would join me on the holiday, or I’d go solo and join a local tour. I would just go with the flow and make plans along the way,” she says.
“My friends with children envy that I can pack up and go for a holiday whenever I want. I tell them they make their memories with their kids, while I create memories the way I want. It’s a very different ball game.”
She adds: “I have no regrets. I will choose my freedom over being tied down by children.”
