Lau Lee opened his mouth again.. and "encouraged Sporeans" to have more babies.. even start families at a younger age.. and everyone responded with positive and negative remarks to his .. shall I call it.. "a plea"?
Firstly, I am still single.. and I may not even consider marriage at all now.. I had a few relationships (wif women.. I not gay ah).. and tho I almost ended up marrying a Japanese.. it was not to be as differences in thinking, culture and upbringing and future outlook showed how futile it would be to be together.
However, my thoughts here are regarding the possible concerns of the sporean couples.. and why they might not want to start a family at a early age.. or perhaps not start one at all.
I have a friend who is married.. and she and her hubby is happily enjoying her 8th year together.. no kids.. and they probably won't even want to adopt any. She told me once that everything now is fast-paced, and becos she and her hubby is working, she is worried that she may not haf any time wif her children.. if she were to consider having kids. To her, time spent wif her children is the most important aspect of being a parent.. as that is when she feels she can connect wif her kids.. and nuture and instill good values.. and bond early with them.
With the strains of working life nowadays, she doesn't believe that she can actually haf any time for her children at all. And this thought is shared by her hubby.. who says if he can't play wif his children when they are babies.. and into their early teens.. he just didn't want them at all. He feels that if he did not spend time with his kids, he would miss the best times of their lives.. eg when they first started to crawl.. when they took their first steps.. said their first words.. he felt .. and still feels.. that these are moments in his life.. and his kids'.. that can NEVER be replaced. Yes, his wife.. or someone else could record them on video or take pics.. but it won't be the same for him.
I have a friend, who has a cousin that has been dating his girlfriend for 7 years. One time, I asked casually, "when are you 2 going to get married?". He looked at me, wide-eyed and said, "I can't even afford to pay the first month for a flat.. not even wif her help.. do u think we can get married like that?" For him.. and his gal.. the thought of staying with his parents after marriage.. is HORRENDOUS. She didn't like it.. neither did he.
He even said, "it will feel weird and uncomfortable.. with my parents around.. how am I going to get intimate with my wife??"
I agree! Every couple should have their own space.. for romance.. intimacy.. for the "making" to happen. it's gonna feel awkard wif your parent's eyes on you.. no one likes to give a free show to their parents.. would they? (Ok.. not talking about the ppl who like to expose or has exhibitionism in their blood)
And.. with the wages of the average Sporean not increasing for the past few years.. for watever reasons.. how does one expect to earn more money? Competition wif foreigners have just gone more notches up as the govt has "gallantly" viewed them as a needed piece to the progress of Spore. The fact that FTs haf displaced qutie a number of PMETs, seems not to haf made the govt any concerned.. but the masses are.. with the simmering anger.. sometimes boiling over as more and more tussles between Sporeans and foreigners come to light.. it is quite evident that the sg citizens aren't liking what they see as "being robbed of what would be their jobs".
And couples.. and singles are also concerned that their offspring will be subjected to even more pressure and stress.. as thought the present situation, with the streaming in education and the push for higher education qualification isn't already driving some to jump off buildings.. they are worried.. that their kids.. may not be able to cope.
And they are not wrong to think so. Gone are the days of simplicity, where ppl go to work, come home and spend time wif family. Dads and Moms can be gone from home at the break of dawn.. and never be seen.. maybe heard.. and maybe on one day of the weekend.. as they both slog to earn more than enuf for themselves, and their kids.
The times are different now, kids will need computers to help them with their school work.. as internet is a MUST.. for it helps them search for info for school projects and class assignments. Laptops aren't luxury items.. but are good to have now.. as they give the kids easy access to info on the go.. whether in class, on the buss.. or in Mcdonalds or Burger King.
Kids as young as primary 4, have mobile phones now.. easy to let parents noe where they are.. and also a great item to show off to classmates. if you don't have one.. be ready to be jeered and laughed at in school. And the fact is.. mobile phones are not expensive anymore. No.. it's the way you abuse the plan that gets you. And parents are learning early, that if you don't set limits for the kids on the phone usage.. monthly bills can skyrocket to over 300 sgd per kid.
Let's not talk about food and clothing.. shoes.. and hair.. and all that. the price to keep yourself from looking tardy might not be alot.. but when you have to look after your kids.. your wife..(if she's not working).. is not a small sum.
Is it me, or is it that kids nowadays haf to learn more to "stay ahead" of the competition? Maybe it's not just the kids.. but for everyone as well. Maybe that's why more ppl are ending up in the IMH? Cos they can't keep up with the pace.. or face info overload and can't process all the data and info properly.. leading to a breakdown?
Imagine you are a parent.. would you want your kids to face stress as early as primary 3?? Streaming.. which WILL affect his future. if you think only the parent feels the strain.. think again.. kids are facing pressures from school, friends.. and PARENTS too. And that's the worrying thing for some couples.. that the would add on pressure to their kids.. either knowingly or unknowlingly.. as they push all their hopes, desires and even pressures and stress, onto their kids.. and inevitably force their own kids to be what they could not be.
I have seen kids who suffer as their parents want them to be doctors.. lawyers.. cos the parents themselves couldn't be.. and they pin this onto their kids.. without realizing that this is added pressure and strain on the kids.
I remember when as a kid.. I played.. and I laughed when I played.. nowadays.. I keep hearing kids screaming.. and shouting more than laughing.. am I the only one to hear this.. yes.. even as they play.. they are screaming and shouting.. isn't that weird?
Well, peole who I know have noticed it.. and they feel it is a sign that kids are using playing time.. as a mode of venting frustration.. venting anger that is repressed.. repressed resentment.. and more.. and this worries them.. and makes them even more convinced not to haf kids of their own..
All the above.. shows how many concerns a person has to deal with.. if they want to start a family.. now.. couple that with the fact that in SG.. where the land is LIMITED.. jobs seems to be more limited.. everything seems to be limited nowadays.. who can predict the future?
No wonder mre and mre of my relatives and friends are considering getting out of SG.. not for themselves.. but for the sake of their children.. so that they have a "larger playing field".. or else.. with SMRT trains getting mre and mre crowded.. there might not be space to even stand.. in the trains, busses.. or even along the streets.
Lau Lee says things easily.. but it is always easier said... has he realized that the year is 2012.. and not 1965 anymore? Everything costs more and food tastes worse as the prices soar and inflate.. nobody is living as one does in the 60s or 80s.. it's just not that simple anymore.
Firstly, I am still single.. and I may not even consider marriage at all now.. I had a few relationships (wif women.. I not gay ah).. and tho I almost ended up marrying a Japanese.. it was not to be as differences in thinking, culture and upbringing and future outlook showed how futile it would be to be together.
However, my thoughts here are regarding the possible concerns of the sporean couples.. and why they might not want to start a family at a early age.. or perhaps not start one at all.
I have a friend who is married.. and she and her hubby is happily enjoying her 8th year together.. no kids.. and they probably won't even want to adopt any. She told me once that everything now is fast-paced, and becos she and her hubby is working, she is worried that she may not haf any time wif her children.. if she were to consider having kids. To her, time spent wif her children is the most important aspect of being a parent.. as that is when she feels she can connect wif her kids.. and nuture and instill good values.. and bond early with them.
With the strains of working life nowadays, she doesn't believe that she can actually haf any time for her children at all. And this thought is shared by her hubby.. who says if he can't play wif his children when they are babies.. and into their early teens.. he just didn't want them at all. He feels that if he did not spend time with his kids, he would miss the best times of their lives.. eg when they first started to crawl.. when they took their first steps.. said their first words.. he felt .. and still feels.. that these are moments in his life.. and his kids'.. that can NEVER be replaced. Yes, his wife.. or someone else could record them on video or take pics.. but it won't be the same for him.
I have a friend, who has a cousin that has been dating his girlfriend for 7 years. One time, I asked casually, "when are you 2 going to get married?". He looked at me, wide-eyed and said, "I can't even afford to pay the first month for a flat.. not even wif her help.. do u think we can get married like that?" For him.. and his gal.. the thought of staying with his parents after marriage.. is HORRENDOUS. She didn't like it.. neither did he.
He even said, "it will feel weird and uncomfortable.. with my parents around.. how am I going to get intimate with my wife??"
I agree! Every couple should have their own space.. for romance.. intimacy.. for the "making" to happen. it's gonna feel awkard wif your parent's eyes on you.. no one likes to give a free show to their parents.. would they? (Ok.. not talking about the ppl who like to expose or has exhibitionism in their blood)
And.. with the wages of the average Sporean not increasing for the past few years.. for watever reasons.. how does one expect to earn more money? Competition wif foreigners have just gone more notches up as the govt has "gallantly" viewed them as a needed piece to the progress of Spore. The fact that FTs haf displaced qutie a number of PMETs, seems not to haf made the govt any concerned.. but the masses are.. with the simmering anger.. sometimes boiling over as more and more tussles between Sporeans and foreigners come to light.. it is quite evident that the sg citizens aren't liking what they see as "being robbed of what would be their jobs".
And couples.. and singles are also concerned that their offspring will be subjected to even more pressure and stress.. as thought the present situation, with the streaming in education and the push for higher education qualification isn't already driving some to jump off buildings.. they are worried.. that their kids.. may not be able to cope.
And they are not wrong to think so. Gone are the days of simplicity, where ppl go to work, come home and spend time wif family. Dads and Moms can be gone from home at the break of dawn.. and never be seen.. maybe heard.. and maybe on one day of the weekend.. as they both slog to earn more than enuf for themselves, and their kids.
The times are different now, kids will need computers to help them with their school work.. as internet is a MUST.. for it helps them search for info for school projects and class assignments. Laptops aren't luxury items.. but are good to have now.. as they give the kids easy access to info on the go.. whether in class, on the buss.. or in Mcdonalds or Burger King.
Kids as young as primary 4, have mobile phones now.. easy to let parents noe where they are.. and also a great item to show off to classmates. if you don't have one.. be ready to be jeered and laughed at in school. And the fact is.. mobile phones are not expensive anymore. No.. it's the way you abuse the plan that gets you. And parents are learning early, that if you don't set limits for the kids on the phone usage.. monthly bills can skyrocket to over 300 sgd per kid.
Let's not talk about food and clothing.. shoes.. and hair.. and all that. the price to keep yourself from looking tardy might not be alot.. but when you have to look after your kids.. your wife..(if she's not working).. is not a small sum.
Is it me, or is it that kids nowadays haf to learn more to "stay ahead" of the competition? Maybe it's not just the kids.. but for everyone as well. Maybe that's why more ppl are ending up in the IMH? Cos they can't keep up with the pace.. or face info overload and can't process all the data and info properly.. leading to a breakdown?
Imagine you are a parent.. would you want your kids to face stress as early as primary 3?? Streaming.. which WILL affect his future. if you think only the parent feels the strain.. think again.. kids are facing pressures from school, friends.. and PARENTS too. And that's the worrying thing for some couples.. that the would add on pressure to their kids.. either knowingly or unknowlingly.. as they push all their hopes, desires and even pressures and stress, onto their kids.. and inevitably force their own kids to be what they could not be.
I have seen kids who suffer as their parents want them to be doctors.. lawyers.. cos the parents themselves couldn't be.. and they pin this onto their kids.. without realizing that this is added pressure and strain on the kids.
I remember when as a kid.. I played.. and I laughed when I played.. nowadays.. I keep hearing kids screaming.. and shouting more than laughing.. am I the only one to hear this.. yes.. even as they play.. they are screaming and shouting.. isn't that weird?
Well, peole who I know have noticed it.. and they feel it is a sign that kids are using playing time.. as a mode of venting frustration.. venting anger that is repressed.. repressed resentment.. and more.. and this worries them.. and makes them even more convinced not to haf kids of their own..
All the above.. shows how many concerns a person has to deal with.. if they want to start a family.. now.. couple that with the fact that in SG.. where the land is LIMITED.. jobs seems to be more limited.. everything seems to be limited nowadays.. who can predict the future?
No wonder mre and mre of my relatives and friends are considering getting out of SG.. not for themselves.. but for the sake of their children.. so that they have a "larger playing field".. or else.. with SMRT trains getting mre and mre crowded.. there might not be space to even stand.. in the trains, busses.. or even along the streets.
Lau Lee says things easily.. but it is always easier said... has he realized that the year is 2012.. and not 1965 anymore? Everything costs more and food tastes worse as the prices soar and inflate.. nobody is living as one does in the 60s or 80s.. it's just not that simple anymore.
