- Joined
- Jul 22, 2013
- Messages
- 11,364
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- 113
TLDR: I emotionally cheated on my GF twice in 6 years. Who's problem is this? My GF and I were classmates in Poly and we got together back then. Due to my sleazy past, I had an inferiority complex that I was not good enough for her at the start. She made it very clear about this point but I loved her very much nonetheless. I went above and beyond to make up for my lack of confidence and pampered her. Over time, she simply took me for granted. At the 2 years mark, I met my colleague, A. She was very nice to me, bought me breakfast every morning, cared for me when I was burnt out and we had a strong connection. We talked a lot at work naturally and our co-workers often urged us to get together. We had so much chemistry, and she confessed to me. If I said that I did not have feelings for A, I would have been lying.
To close this chapter, I tendered my resignation and left as I cannot stand the fact of losing my GF whom I loved dearly. However, it was for a fact that at some point of time, someone else was slowly replacing her place in my heart. It was also at the same job, I met B. The moment B walked into the room on her first day, A said that she was definitely going to be the one for me. B was our team's temporary staff and I did not think much of our relationship back then. A was constantly jealous whenever I approached B for work so I kept my distance from her. At same point, my GF did pick up that something was amiss and checked my phone while I was in the showers. However, she had never confronted me and we left this matter as it is. In my subsequent job, 3 years later, I met B again and we are from different teams. We had no reasons to communicate at work but we met on the way home and started talking about our first job together. Slowly, we went for lunch together once a month and somehow started texting each other outside of work. Our conversations are always filled with laughter. As a devoted Christian, she will not be able to accept my scandalous past and lack of virginity.
So I always tried to keep a distance from her but we somehow had to work together on a project. And here I made a choice to leave my current workplace again as I cannot resist the pull towards B. Throughout this whole time, my GF was often not understanding of my busy work schedule and was constantly making demands. I wanted to marry her 3 years ago but we could not get a BTO and she was not ready for a resale flat. Now that she is eager to get married but me, not so much. I am not blaming her and in fact, she is an amazing girlfriend. It's just that I do not know how to effectively communicate with her. When discussing tough topics, she often have no opinions so there is not much of any discussion in our relationship. If I really loved her that much, would A and B have the chance to catch my attention? Probably not. If my GF paid more attention to me, would A and B have the chance to catch my attention? Probably not. Should I break up with my GF and lose the stability that we have now?
To close this chapter, I tendered my resignation and left as I cannot stand the fact of losing my GF whom I loved dearly. However, it was for a fact that at some point of time, someone else was slowly replacing her place in my heart. It was also at the same job, I met B. The moment B walked into the room on her first day, A said that she was definitely going to be the one for me. B was our team's temporary staff and I did not think much of our relationship back then. A was constantly jealous whenever I approached B for work so I kept my distance from her. At same point, my GF did pick up that something was amiss and checked my phone while I was in the showers. However, she had never confronted me and we left this matter as it is. In my subsequent job, 3 years later, I met B again and we are from different teams. We had no reasons to communicate at work but we met on the way home and started talking about our first job together. Slowly, we went for lunch together once a month and somehow started texting each other outside of work. Our conversations are always filled with laughter. As a devoted Christian, she will not be able to accept my scandalous past and lack of virginity.
So I always tried to keep a distance from her but we somehow had to work together on a project. And here I made a choice to leave my current workplace again as I cannot resist the pull towards B. Throughout this whole time, my GF was often not understanding of my busy work schedule and was constantly making demands. I wanted to marry her 3 years ago but we could not get a BTO and she was not ready for a resale flat. Now that she is eager to get married but me, not so much. I am not blaming her and in fact, she is an amazing girlfriend. It's just that I do not know how to effectively communicate with her. When discussing tough topics, she often have no opinions so there is not much of any discussion in our relationship. If I really loved her that much, would A and B have the chance to catch my attention? Probably not. If my GF paid more attention to me, would A and B have the chance to catch my attention? Probably not. Should I break up with my GF and lose the stability that we have now?
