<TABLE class=msgtable cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="96%"><TBODY><TR><TD class=msg vAlign=top><TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR class=msghead><TD class=msgbfr1 width="1%"> </TD><TD><TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 border=0><TBODY><TR class=msghead><TD class=msgF noWrap align=right width="1%">From: </TD><TD class=msgFname noWrap width="68%">kojakbt22 <NOBR>
</NOBR> </TD><TD class=msgDate noWrap align=right width="30%">8:51 pm </TD></TR><TR class=msghead><TD class=msgT noWrap align=right width="1%" height=20>To: </TD><TD class=msgTname noWrap width="68%">ALL <NOBR></NOBR></TD><TD class=msgNum noWrap align=right> </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR><TR><TD class=msgleft width="1%" rowSpan=4> </TD><TD class=wintiny noWrap align=right>7189.1 </TD></TR><TR><TD height=8></TD></TR><TR><TD class=msgtxt><TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD>Looking for love far from home
</TD></TR><TR><TD><!-- headline one : end --></TD></TR><TR><TD>Loneliness drives many foreign workers into short-lived relationships but some find lasting love </TD></TR><TR><TD><!-- Author --></TD></TR><TR><TD class="padlrt8 georgia11 darkgrey bold" colSpan=2>By Nur Dianah Suhaimi
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<!-- START OF : div id="storytext"--><!-- more than 4 paragraphs -->The murder of Indonesian maid Yulia Afriyanti, allegedly at the hands of her Bangladeshi lover, has thrown the spotlight on the romantic lives of foreign workers here.
On Dec 16, 2007, 25-year-old Ms Yulia's body was found naked and stuffed in a cardboard box in the uncompleted Viz@Holland condominium in Queensway. She had been strangled.
Construction worker Kamrul Hasan Abdul Quddus, 35, a Bangladeshi national who worked at the site, is now on trial for her murder.
The Sunday Times spoke to 30 domestic helpers and found that those who seek romance while working here just want to have a bit of fun.
Of the 30, 12 admitted to having boyfriends here and cited loneliness as the main reason they look for romance.
While most are dating fellow work permit holders, two say they are seeing local men.
Eight of the women are single while the other four are married, some with children, back in their home countries.
Natural desire
Said Mr Jolovan Wham, executive director of foreign worker welfare group Humanitarian Organisation for Migration Economics (Home): 'Most people have desires for intimacy or a relationship with a special someone. This may especially be so for a migrant domestic worker who is far away from home.'
The maids told The Sunday Times they had to keep their romance a secret for fear of being sent home by their employers.
They enter the relationship fully aware that their romance will be short-lived and will inevitably end when either one goes home.
Said a 27-year-old Filipino single who wanted to be known only as Angela: 'I just want some fun in Singapore. I have many female friends but only my boyfriend will call every day and pamper me. It makes me feel special.'
Wati, 31, has a husband and two children back home in Indonesia but is currently dating a Bangladeshi worker who she says looks like a Bollywood star.
'We just go out and spend time together, not more than that. He is my special friend,' she said in Bahasa Indonesia.
For those dating fellow work permit holders, language is often a barrier. But they learn to communicate using simple, often broken English, they said.
They will call or exchange text messages throughout the week, and go on dates on Sundays when both have their day off.
When pay day comes and they have a little extra cash, they would splurge on a few hours at a budget hotel.
On days when there is not much cash, they would set up a tent at the beach instead.
While the majority of foreign worker romances come to an end the moment their contracts expire, some of these flings have led to something more serious.
Mr Ranjit Chandra, a social worker helping Bangladeshis here, said he has seen a handful of Bangladeshi work permit holders marrying their domestic helper girlfriends.
Since work permit holders are not allowed to marry while here, these couples would tie the knot in Bangladesh, Indonesia or the Philippines, where one of them comes from.
They would then settle down in these countries or return to Singapore to work, he said.
A fair number of work permit holders have also married Singaporeans, he added.
Under the Marriage Restriction Policy, all current and former work permit holders need approval from the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) before they can marry a Singapore citizen or permanent resident (PR).
If not, he or she may be barred from entering Singapore for a period of time.
Welfare group Home said it has seen three such cases where the work permit holder was banned from entry into Singapore. It managed to appeal for the ban to be lifted in two of the cases.
Said an MOM spokesman: 'This is to reiterate that as transient workers, they ought to come to Singapore for work purposes only.
'This also serves to discourage and prevent a large pool of unskilled or lower-skilled migrant workers from settling in Singapore through marriage with Singaporeans.'
MOM said in 2005 that it granted permission to about 85 per cent of work permit holders wanting to marry Singaporeans. It also said in 2000 that it received between 1,500 and 2,000 marriage applications every year.
Applications are approved on a case-by-case basis, with the applicant's economic status often being a deciding factor.
Mr Ranjit said there are at least 200 Bangladeshi ex-work permit holders who married Singaporean women and eventually settled here.
From anecdotal evidence, the same goes with domestic helpers. As a result, those who are dating local men say they expect more than a fun time.
Sue, a 28-year-old Filipina, has been seeing an Indian Singaporean man for the past year. She does not know what he works as but hopes to marry him and settle down in Singapore.
'We love each other very much and I know he can take care of me,' she said.
Romantic relationships can be risky for domestic helpers. If they get pregnant, they face immediate repatriation.
But the ones interviewed said they are confident that contraceptives can help keep unwanted pregnancies at bay.
For the men, there are also risks involved. Dr Narayanan Saravanan from the Singapore Medical Clinic, which waives treatment fees for needy foreign workers, said sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are among the more common ailments that he sees among foreign workers.
'I see about five STD cases a week. But they are usually mild cases,' he said.
Employers generally get worried when their domestic helpers start dating.
One concern is that they may get pregnant and would have to be repatriated immediately.
Apart from the inconvenience of having to find another domestic helper, the employer also has to bear the cost of repatriation. Some believe that they will stand to lose their security bond to MOM.
But MOM has clarified that it has not forfeited any security bonds of employers just because their domestic helpers had become pregnant. Bonds are forfeited as a last resort, usually when maids go missing.
Dangerous love
Many employers cite security as another concern.
Said housewife Dorothy Ho, 54: 'We always hear stories of maids bringing home their boyfriends or sneaking them into the house at night. What if we get robbed?'
Romance and the risk of contracting STDs may also distract maids from performing their chores, said some employers.
Migrant worker groups say that while employers' fears are understandable, they should not interfere in the social life of their employees.
Said social worker Anne Bergen-Aurand from Transient Workers Count Too (TWC2): 'Employers tend to be much more fearful than necessary. We all know that happy workers are good workers. As long as the worker is not breaking any laws, employers should not interfere.'
Welfare group Home's president Bridget Lew suggests that employers communicate openly with their domestic helpers to address their rights and responsibilities.
'A climate of openness would build trust and understanding in the employer-employee relationship and would allow the opportunity to speak on sexual health and social risks,' she said. Ms Bergen-Aurand agrees. She said: 'Domestic helpers should be treated like any other employee. They are adults, intelligent and social. So we should treat them as that.'
[email protected]
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
</TD></TR><TR><TD><!-- headline one : end --></TD></TR><TR><TD>Loneliness drives many foreign workers into short-lived relationships but some find lasting love </TD></TR><TR><TD><!-- Author --></TD></TR><TR><TD class="padlrt8 georgia11 darkgrey bold" colSpan=2>By Nur Dianah Suhaimi
</TD></TR><TR><TD><!-- show image if available --></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
<!-- START OF : div id="storytext"--><!-- more than 4 paragraphs -->The murder of Indonesian maid Yulia Afriyanti, allegedly at the hands of her Bangladeshi lover, has thrown the spotlight on the romantic lives of foreign workers here.
On Dec 16, 2007, 25-year-old Ms Yulia's body was found naked and stuffed in a cardboard box in the uncompleted Viz@Holland condominium in Queensway. She had been strangled.
Construction worker Kamrul Hasan Abdul Quddus, 35, a Bangladeshi national who worked at the site, is now on trial for her murder.
The Sunday Times spoke to 30 domestic helpers and found that those who seek romance while working here just want to have a bit of fun.
Of the 30, 12 admitted to having boyfriends here and cited loneliness as the main reason they look for romance.
While most are dating fellow work permit holders, two say they are seeing local men.
Eight of the women are single while the other four are married, some with children, back in their home countries.
Natural desire
Said Mr Jolovan Wham, executive director of foreign worker welfare group Humanitarian Organisation for Migration Economics (Home): 'Most people have desires for intimacy or a relationship with a special someone. This may especially be so for a migrant domestic worker who is far away from home.'
The maids told The Sunday Times they had to keep their romance a secret for fear of being sent home by their employers.
They enter the relationship fully aware that their romance will be short-lived and will inevitably end when either one goes home.
Said a 27-year-old Filipino single who wanted to be known only as Angela: 'I just want some fun in Singapore. I have many female friends but only my boyfriend will call every day and pamper me. It makes me feel special.'
Wati, 31, has a husband and two children back home in Indonesia but is currently dating a Bangladeshi worker who she says looks like a Bollywood star.
'We just go out and spend time together, not more than that. He is my special friend,' she said in Bahasa Indonesia.
For those dating fellow work permit holders, language is often a barrier. But they learn to communicate using simple, often broken English, they said.
They will call or exchange text messages throughout the week, and go on dates on Sundays when both have their day off.
When pay day comes and they have a little extra cash, they would splurge on a few hours at a budget hotel.
On days when there is not much cash, they would set up a tent at the beach instead.
While the majority of foreign worker romances come to an end the moment their contracts expire, some of these flings have led to something more serious.
Mr Ranjit Chandra, a social worker helping Bangladeshis here, said he has seen a handful of Bangladeshi work permit holders marrying their domestic helper girlfriends.
Since work permit holders are not allowed to marry while here, these couples would tie the knot in Bangladesh, Indonesia or the Philippines, where one of them comes from.
They would then settle down in these countries or return to Singapore to work, he said.
A fair number of work permit holders have also married Singaporeans, he added.
Under the Marriage Restriction Policy, all current and former work permit holders need approval from the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) before they can marry a Singapore citizen or permanent resident (PR).
If not, he or she may be barred from entering Singapore for a period of time.
Welfare group Home said it has seen three such cases where the work permit holder was banned from entry into Singapore. It managed to appeal for the ban to be lifted in two of the cases.
Said an MOM spokesman: 'This is to reiterate that as transient workers, they ought to come to Singapore for work purposes only.
'This also serves to discourage and prevent a large pool of unskilled or lower-skilled migrant workers from settling in Singapore through marriage with Singaporeans.'
MOM said in 2005 that it granted permission to about 85 per cent of work permit holders wanting to marry Singaporeans. It also said in 2000 that it received between 1,500 and 2,000 marriage applications every year.
Applications are approved on a case-by-case basis, with the applicant's economic status often being a deciding factor.
Mr Ranjit said there are at least 200 Bangladeshi ex-work permit holders who married Singaporean women and eventually settled here.
From anecdotal evidence, the same goes with domestic helpers. As a result, those who are dating local men say they expect more than a fun time.
Sue, a 28-year-old Filipina, has been seeing an Indian Singaporean man for the past year. She does not know what he works as but hopes to marry him and settle down in Singapore.
'We love each other very much and I know he can take care of me,' she said.
Romantic relationships can be risky for domestic helpers. If they get pregnant, they face immediate repatriation.
But the ones interviewed said they are confident that contraceptives can help keep unwanted pregnancies at bay.
For the men, there are also risks involved. Dr Narayanan Saravanan from the Singapore Medical Clinic, which waives treatment fees for needy foreign workers, said sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are among the more common ailments that he sees among foreign workers.
'I see about five STD cases a week. But they are usually mild cases,' he said.
Employers generally get worried when their domestic helpers start dating.
One concern is that they may get pregnant and would have to be repatriated immediately.
Apart from the inconvenience of having to find another domestic helper, the employer also has to bear the cost of repatriation. Some believe that they will stand to lose their security bond to MOM.
But MOM has clarified that it has not forfeited any security bonds of employers just because their domestic helpers had become pregnant. Bonds are forfeited as a last resort, usually when maids go missing.
Dangerous love
Many employers cite security as another concern.
Said housewife Dorothy Ho, 54: 'We always hear stories of maids bringing home their boyfriends or sneaking them into the house at night. What if we get robbed?'
Romance and the risk of contracting STDs may also distract maids from performing their chores, said some employers.
Migrant worker groups say that while employers' fears are understandable, they should not interfere in the social life of their employees.
Said social worker Anne Bergen-Aurand from Transient Workers Count Too (TWC2): 'Employers tend to be much more fearful than necessary. We all know that happy workers are good workers. As long as the worker is not breaking any laws, employers should not interfere.'
Welfare group Home's president Bridget Lew suggests that employers communicate openly with their domestic helpers to address their rights and responsibilities.
'A climate of openness would build trust and understanding in the employer-employee relationship and would allow the opportunity to speak on sexual health and social risks,' she said. Ms Bergen-Aurand agrees. She said: 'Domestic helpers should be treated like any other employee. They are adults, intelligent and social. So we should treat them as that.'
[email protected]
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