http://www.asiaone.com/News/The+New+Paper/Story/A1Story20110110-257389.html
Tue, Jan 11, 2011
The New Paper
She sleeps around for revenge
By Zaihan Mohamed Yusof
She works her charm with mature confidence, spurred by a sinister motive.
Mary (not her real name) is never short of male attention.
In just eight months, she slept with as many as eight men - and she is barely 15 years old.
Why? To get back at her ex-boyfriend.
Hers is one of the more worrying cases seen by Dr Carol Balhetchet, director of youth services at Singapore Children's Society (SCS), referring to the recent spate of underage sex cases.
Such a callous attitude towards underage sex may seem the norm for girls like Mary, but the men they sleep with often face serious consequences when the law catches up with them.
That was the case recently for 15 men who were charged with having sex with a 12-year-old girl.
Those sentenced received punishments ranging from fines to an 18-month jail term.
Among them was a trainee teacher, who slept with the girl and another 15-year-old girl.
While the 12-year-old girl's motivation for sleeping with the 15 men is unknown, Mary's reason for doing so was alarming.
Extreme case
Added Dr Balhetchet: "This is one of the extreme cases where revenge was the sole reason for sleeping with men.
"Mary sees all men also as objects to be used for monetary gain. She feels this way because she had been jilted by her first boyfriend, whom she had given her virginity to."
Such extreme examples like Mary's, where teens have multiple partners, have become more obvious, said Dr Balhetchet.
She said: "Before 2008, I had come across a handful (of cases) - perhaps five cases a year of sexually active teens with many partners. From 2008 to present, I have seen a surge for both boys and girls having multiple sex partners.
"Now, it seems these extreme cases are going overboard."
Mary was referred to SCS last year.
Her parents had alerted the authorities to Mary's behaviour.
Said Dr Balhetchet: "Luckily, her parents did something to arrest her behaviour. With early intervention, hopefully Mary can get back to society. "
Mary was able to hide the truth from her parents for about a year.
Said Dr Balhetchet: "If you had seen her, you would say she was a plain Jane. She isn't voluptuous or anything. She looks like your typical teen."
But her desire for vengeance was strong. She used every opportunity to try to meet new men.
She got to know older men through her girlfriends and online.
Dr Balhetchet said: "This girl was on a sexual rampage. She went from one man to another before she was stopped."
A study done by the Department of Sexually Transmitted Infections Control clinic revealed that teens were becoming bolder when it comes to sex.
In the 2008 survey of 226 sexually active teens aged between 10 and 19 found that three of them had their first sexual encounter at 11.
More than half have had at least three sex partners. One of them even had 34 partners, indicating that the teen was offering sex for money.
The public clinic also stated it had diagnosed three times as many teens with sexually transmitted infections in 2008 compared to 2002.
Such numbers are not expected to change drastically as the percentage of teens involved in such cases have remained the same over the last two years.
Moral risk
At SCS, teens who engage in sex are classified under the moral risk category. These include cases of girls trying to find boys on the Internet, having multiple boyfriends or staying over at a boyfriend's home.
Moral risk, in turn, comes under the larger umbrella of youth misbehaviour cases like gang involvement, truancy and running away from home.
Of the 603 youth misbehaviour cases referred to SCS last year, 158, or about 26 per cent, were considered moral risk.
The previous year, 221, or 28 per cent of the 772 cases, fell under the moral risk category. Jane, not her real name, was one of those under this category.
Her parents discovered she had had sex with an 18-year-old in 2008.
She was then 14 and had been invited to a male friend's flat for a drinking party.
Said Jane, who is now 17: "I'd never had a drop of alcohol before, but that night I was feeling relaxed and good.
"I felt like I belonged to the group of older couples. The next thing I knew, I woke up naked in his room."
Jane's parents were furious and her father threatened to beat her.
Her grandmother slapped her and did not speak to her for four months, Jane claimed. Later, the family lodged a police report, she said.
Her relationship with her family became strained. Jane ran away from home and stayed with friends. Jane said: "The longest I left home was five months. I knew my parents were looking high and low for me. I just wasn't ready to deal with my family."
When Jane finally returned home, her parents had had enough. She was sent to a girls' home in 2009 for a month.
At the home, Jane met another girl with similar problems.
The 15-year-old girl, who became Jane's close friend, was a prostitute.
Jane added: "My story paled compared to hers. She had many clients and said that as long as there was money to be made, she continued to offer her services to older men.
"She didn't seem worried about getting pregnant or falling sick."
The girl did not disclose the number of men she had sex with but said it was "a lot".
Now, back in school, Jane has been given a second chance at living her secondary school years.
She said: "I begged my parents for forgiveness. My mother said it's now up to me to prove that I'm willing to change.
"I just don't want to be like the 12-year-old girl in the news who had sex with many men. I'm better than that."
A week after Jane was released from the girls' home, she had to attend counselling sessions. She also has to observe a curfew which starts at 8pm each night.
This article was first published in The New Paper.
Tue, Jan 11, 2011
The New Paper
She sleeps around for revenge
By Zaihan Mohamed Yusof
She works her charm with mature confidence, spurred by a sinister motive.
Mary (not her real name) is never short of male attention.
In just eight months, she slept with as many as eight men - and she is barely 15 years old.
Why? To get back at her ex-boyfriend.
Hers is one of the more worrying cases seen by Dr Carol Balhetchet, director of youth services at Singapore Children's Society (SCS), referring to the recent spate of underage sex cases.
Such a callous attitude towards underage sex may seem the norm for girls like Mary, but the men they sleep with often face serious consequences when the law catches up with them.
That was the case recently for 15 men who were charged with having sex with a 12-year-old girl.
Those sentenced received punishments ranging from fines to an 18-month jail term.
Among them was a trainee teacher, who slept with the girl and another 15-year-old girl.
While the 12-year-old girl's motivation for sleeping with the 15 men is unknown, Mary's reason for doing so was alarming.
Extreme case
Added Dr Balhetchet: "This is one of the extreme cases where revenge was the sole reason for sleeping with men.
"Mary sees all men also as objects to be used for monetary gain. She feels this way because she had been jilted by her first boyfriend, whom she had given her virginity to."
Such extreme examples like Mary's, where teens have multiple partners, have become more obvious, said Dr Balhetchet.
She said: "Before 2008, I had come across a handful (of cases) - perhaps five cases a year of sexually active teens with many partners. From 2008 to present, I have seen a surge for both boys and girls having multiple sex partners.
"Now, it seems these extreme cases are going overboard."
Mary was referred to SCS last year.
Her parents had alerted the authorities to Mary's behaviour.
Said Dr Balhetchet: "Luckily, her parents did something to arrest her behaviour. With early intervention, hopefully Mary can get back to society. "
Mary was able to hide the truth from her parents for about a year.
Said Dr Balhetchet: "If you had seen her, you would say she was a plain Jane. She isn't voluptuous or anything. She looks like your typical teen."
But her desire for vengeance was strong. She used every opportunity to try to meet new men.
She got to know older men through her girlfriends and online.
Dr Balhetchet said: "This girl was on a sexual rampage. She went from one man to another before she was stopped."
A study done by the Department of Sexually Transmitted Infections Control clinic revealed that teens were becoming bolder when it comes to sex.
In the 2008 survey of 226 sexually active teens aged between 10 and 19 found that three of them had their first sexual encounter at 11.
More than half have had at least three sex partners. One of them even had 34 partners, indicating that the teen was offering sex for money.
The public clinic also stated it had diagnosed three times as many teens with sexually transmitted infections in 2008 compared to 2002.
Such numbers are not expected to change drastically as the percentage of teens involved in such cases have remained the same over the last two years.
Moral risk
At SCS, teens who engage in sex are classified under the moral risk category. These include cases of girls trying to find boys on the Internet, having multiple boyfriends or staying over at a boyfriend's home.
Moral risk, in turn, comes under the larger umbrella of youth misbehaviour cases like gang involvement, truancy and running away from home.
Of the 603 youth misbehaviour cases referred to SCS last year, 158, or about 26 per cent, were considered moral risk.
The previous year, 221, or 28 per cent of the 772 cases, fell under the moral risk category. Jane, not her real name, was one of those under this category.
Her parents discovered she had had sex with an 18-year-old in 2008.
She was then 14 and had been invited to a male friend's flat for a drinking party.
Said Jane, who is now 17: "I'd never had a drop of alcohol before, but that night I was feeling relaxed and good.
"I felt like I belonged to the group of older couples. The next thing I knew, I woke up naked in his room."
Jane's parents were furious and her father threatened to beat her.
Her grandmother slapped her and did not speak to her for four months, Jane claimed. Later, the family lodged a police report, she said.
Her relationship with her family became strained. Jane ran away from home and stayed with friends. Jane said: "The longest I left home was five months. I knew my parents were looking high and low for me. I just wasn't ready to deal with my family."
When Jane finally returned home, her parents had had enough. She was sent to a girls' home in 2009 for a month.
At the home, Jane met another girl with similar problems.
The 15-year-old girl, who became Jane's close friend, was a prostitute.
Jane added: "My story paled compared to hers. She had many clients and said that as long as there was money to be made, she continued to offer her services to older men.
"She didn't seem worried about getting pregnant or falling sick."
The girl did not disclose the number of men she had sex with but said it was "a lot".
Now, back in school, Jane has been given a second chance at living her secondary school years.
She said: "I begged my parents for forgiveness. My mother said it's now up to me to prove that I'm willing to change.
"I just don't want to be like the 12-year-old girl in the news who had sex with many men. I'm better than that."
A week after Jane was released from the girls' home, she had to attend counselling sessions. She also has to observe a curfew which starts at 8pm each night.
This article was first published in The New Paper.
