She needs her daily sex fix, but doesn't think she's addicted to sex
By REVATHI MURUGAPPAN
- MIND
- Wednesday, 28 Aug 2024
8:00 PM MYT
In her search for daily sexual gratification, Lottie has had affairs with colleagues, acquaintances and strangers, both married and unmarried, although she doesn't believe she has an addiction. — MCT filepic
When Lottie (not her real name) sashays down the street, women will turn to look and men will do a double take.
The Penang-born, Kuantan-bred 45-year-old woman who calls Kuala Lumpur home, oozes sex appeal and is considered voluptuous.
She appears confident, fun-loving and has a great sense of humour, but she also harbours a deep secret.
Lottie is a nymphomaniac, a term once used to describe a female with excessive sexual desires.
Today, it is referred to as hypersexuality disorder, compulsive sexual behaviour or sex addiction.
The youngest and only girl among three children, Lottie grew up in a normal, loving household.
She recalls: “There was nothing out of ordinary except that I would hear my mother moaning every night, and sometimes, also in the mornings.
“I thought she was in some kind of pain as I was about six years old then and little did I know that the noises came from my parents having sex.
“I even asked her once if she needed to see a doctor and she laughed.
“She told me I’d understand when I got older.”
It wasn’t until Lottie was 14 that a male schoolmate invited her over to see some “educational” videos, aka pornography, he had stumbled upon in his parents’ bedroom.
One thing led to another and they ended up on the floor.
“It wasn’t a pleasant experience because it was also the boy’s first time, but we really enjoyed watching those videos.
“I finally realised why my mother was grunting and groaning all night long!
“When I was about 16, I went to a party hosted by my brother’s friends and alcohol flowed freely.
“A stranger picked me up here, thinking I was much older because of my over-developed body parts and led me to the bedroom.
“Obviously, he was pretty skilled in foreplay; when he put on a condom and performed the act, it was out of this world!” she says.
They had another go that night and Lottie was in heaven.
That was how her addiction started.
She says: “I felt guilty, disgusted and ashamed, but couldn’t stop thinking about it although I never saw him again.
“I’d ‘play’ with myself, but it didn’t give me the same sensation.
“So I’d watch videos and visualise myself having sex.”
Thankfully, her schoolwork didn’t suffer, but boys started paying attention to her.
Lottie “tested” a few of them, but since they were young and inexperienced, she didn’t get the thrill she desired.
At university in Australia, she went online and actively sought partners.
“That’s how I found my first ‘mat salleh’ boyfriend.
“Sadly, he couldn’t keep up with my needs and introduced me to sex toys.
“We broke off after two years, but for a while, we continued having sex even after he found himself a new girlfriend.
“No strings attached because we no longer had feelings for one another,” shares Lottie, a senior personnel at a multinational corporation.
She has had sexual relationships with colleagues, acquaintances and strangers, both married and unmarried.
These encounters take place in her condominium, motels, and even on the office grounds.
Sometimes, if the man becomes a regular partner, Lottie doesn’t use protection, although she is on birth control pills.
She says: “I go for pap smears every year, and except for one scare, everything has been good.
“I don’t think it’s an addiction.
“No one knows about my fetish and I don’t intend to tell anyone – I’m not breaking up any marriages.
“I love my body and sex is my source of pleasure, comfort and validation.”
Lottie is in a serious, monogamous relationship at present, but is not sure if she wants to settle down.
“Actually, I’ve gotten old,” she says with a chuckle.
“Previously, I’d need two ‘fixes’ a day, but now I only need one – a good one, not a quickie.”
