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Paraprosdokians

erection2015

Alfrescian (InfP) + C
Joined
May 20, 2011
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Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. Winston Churchill loved them.



1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
 
I have loads of those. Most are variations of the same theme...



PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them)

====================================================================================

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.

27. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
 

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[TD="class: td1"] 1. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. 2. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 3. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public. 4. War does not determine who is right - only who is left. 5. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 6. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 7. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. 8. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? 9. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet? 10. Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? 11. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. 12. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 13. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 14. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. 15. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. 16. Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were. 17. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. 18. Some cause happiness whenever they go. Others wherever they go. 19. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. 20. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. 21. A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
[/TD]

</tbody>
 
Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. Winston Churchill loved them.
Nice words slam (easier than tongue twister of paraprosdokians) :p
 
i dont have a problem with this word ....i overcame such tongue twisters long ago by my daily practise of saying tamil bad words. Improved my neck muscles too.


Nice words slam (easier than tongue twister of paraprosdokians) :p
 
overcame such tongue twisters long ago by my daily practise of saying tamil bad words. Improved my neck muscles too.
Bet you survived from the proverbial chastity belt fiasco (with strategic buiit in-blade of sorts) :p. Just as King Arthur returned from his crusades, to find his knights all speechless. ;)
 
is that really true? I thought only Sir Lancelot....the story deserves to be in the blue pill thread.


Bet you survived from the proverbial chastity belt fiasco (with strategic buiit in-blade of sorts) :p. Just as King Arthur returned from his crusades, to find his knights all speechless. ;)
 
I'm pretty well-versed in Paraprosdokians, only when I'm in my element.
 
Is this a paraprosdokian?

A sustained erection is good, until priapism sets in. :o:D
 
Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. Winston Churchill loved them.

Bro because my engrish not so good when I saw your thread I thought you scolding indian vulgarities
 
I waiting for my partner knnbccb then we can do indian duet......where is the guy these days?

Bro because my engrish not so good when I saw your thread I thought you scolding indian vulgarities
 
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