<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR>How to talk about death to the dying
</TR><!-- headline one : end --><TR>Blogger compiles posts on caring for dying dad into book for caregivers </TR><!-- Author --><TR><TD class="padlrt8 georgia11 darkgrey bold" colSpan=2>By Radha Basu, Senior Correspondent
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Ms Kor looking at a photo of her parents with her mother, Madam Chia. Mr Kor died last year. -- ST PHOTO: NG SOR LUAN
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<!-- START OF : div id="storytext"--><!-- more than 4 paragraphs -->HOW do you tell your father, who has an active lust for life, that he will soon die? How do you make the most of what little time he has left, yet give yourself enough time out from the burdens of care?
While tending to her dying dad, Ms Dawn Kor, 35, dealt with these issues by thinking aloud online. Her cathartic blog has now been adapted into a booklet for caregivers titled Life Before Death.
<TABLE width=200 align=left valign="top"><TBODY><TR><TD class=padr8><!-- Vodcast --><!-- Background Story --><STYLE type=text/css> #related .quote {background-color:#E7F7FF; padding:8px;margin:0px 0px 5px 0px;} #related .quote .headline {font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:10px;font-weight:bold; border-bottom:3px double #007BFF; color:#036; text-transform:uppercase; padding-bottom:5px;} #related .quote .text {font-size:11px;color:#036;padding:5px 0px;} </STYLE>CARING FOR THE SPIRIT
'I think it is important to help patients embrace hope.'
Ms Dawn Kor
Charity to involve people in 'die-logues' and 'legacy albums'
TO SHATTER the taboo over talking about death here, a charity has launched a public awareness campaign inviting people to take part in documentaries and photo essays chronicling the last days of the terminally ill.
The Life Before Death campaign, launched by the Lien Foundation, aims to use mass media to 'dissect Dr Death'.
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>It was launched yesterday by the Lien Foundation and will be distributed free at hospices and hospitals islandwide soon.
Her virtual entries interspersed with practical tips- from how to broach death to coping strategies - can be found at www.lifebeforedeath.sg
They were written between August 2006 - when Ms Kor, an only child, learnt that her father's pancreatic cancer was incurable - and February last year, about a month after he died.
Blogging helped the business development manager sort out her tangled web of emotions - fear, guilt, anger and love.
'It helped me articulate and make sense of my feelings,' said the soft-spoken, thoughtful woman.
'And after the whole thing was over, I thought sharing this could help other caregivers too.'
Shortly after her father Kor Thong Huat, 70, who ran a small shoe shop, was diagnosed with cancer in June 2006, Ms Kor asked him about his thoughts on dying while watching television one day.
She began by asking him if he was worried about how her mother - Madam Chia Moy Chang, now 61, - would cope. Madam Chia used to help her husband run his shoe shop.
Gradually the conversation drifted to his impending death.
'I hugged him and told him not to be worried as I strongly believe I will meet him in heaven,' said Ms Kor, a Christian.
Her father, who had drifted from the family faith, surprised her with his reply. 'He said he too believed and asked to be baptised. It was the most moving moment of those last months.'
Even for those who do not share the faith, the fear of death can be overcome, said Ms Kor.
'I think it is important to help patients embrace hope,' she said. Her father, for instance, clung on to the hope that miracles can occur, till the very end.
While warded in a hospice, he would ask for certain curative Chinese herbs.
That hope gave him the will to live. When the cancer spread, doctors gave him a maximum of three months.
'But he lived for eight months,' Ms Kor said. [email protected]
</TR><!-- headline one : end --><TR>Blogger compiles posts on caring for dying dad into book for caregivers </TR><!-- Author --><TR><TD class="padlrt8 georgia11 darkgrey bold" colSpan=2>By Radha Basu, Senior Correspondent
</TD></TR><!-- show image if available --><TR vAlign=bottom><TD width=330>
</TD><TD width=10>
Ms Kor looking at a photo of her parents with her mother, Madam Chia. Mr Kor died last year. -- ST PHOTO: NG SOR LUAN
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
<!-- START OF : div id="storytext"--><!-- more than 4 paragraphs -->HOW do you tell your father, who has an active lust for life, that he will soon die? How do you make the most of what little time he has left, yet give yourself enough time out from the burdens of care?
While tending to her dying dad, Ms Dawn Kor, 35, dealt with these issues by thinking aloud online. Her cathartic blog has now been adapted into a booklet for caregivers titled Life Before Death.
<TABLE width=200 align=left valign="top"><TBODY><TR><TD class=padr8><!-- Vodcast --><!-- Background Story --><STYLE type=text/css> #related .quote {background-color:#E7F7FF; padding:8px;margin:0px 0px 5px 0px;} #related .quote .headline {font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:10px;font-weight:bold; border-bottom:3px double #007BFF; color:#036; text-transform:uppercase; padding-bottom:5px;} #related .quote .text {font-size:11px;color:#036;padding:5px 0px;} </STYLE>CARING FOR THE SPIRIT
'I think it is important to help patients embrace hope.'
Ms Dawn Kor
Charity to involve people in 'die-logues' and 'legacy albums'
TO SHATTER the taboo over talking about death here, a charity has launched a public awareness campaign inviting people to take part in documentaries and photo essays chronicling the last days of the terminally ill.
The Life Before Death campaign, launched by the Lien Foundation, aims to use mass media to 'dissect Dr Death'.
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>It was launched yesterday by the Lien Foundation and will be distributed free at hospices and hospitals islandwide soon.
Her virtual entries interspersed with practical tips- from how to broach death to coping strategies - can be found at www.lifebeforedeath.sg
They were written between August 2006 - when Ms Kor, an only child, learnt that her father's pancreatic cancer was incurable - and February last year, about a month after he died.
Blogging helped the business development manager sort out her tangled web of emotions - fear, guilt, anger and love.
'It helped me articulate and make sense of my feelings,' said the soft-spoken, thoughtful woman.
'And after the whole thing was over, I thought sharing this could help other caregivers too.'
Shortly after her father Kor Thong Huat, 70, who ran a small shoe shop, was diagnosed with cancer in June 2006, Ms Kor asked him about his thoughts on dying while watching television one day.
She began by asking him if he was worried about how her mother - Madam Chia Moy Chang, now 61, - would cope. Madam Chia used to help her husband run his shoe shop.
Gradually the conversation drifted to his impending death.
'I hugged him and told him not to be worried as I strongly believe I will meet him in heaven,' said Ms Kor, a Christian.
Her father, who had drifted from the family faith, surprised her with his reply. 'He said he too believed and asked to be baptised. It was the most moving moment of those last months.'
Even for those who do not share the faith, the fear of death can be overcome, said Ms Kor.
'I think it is important to help patients embrace hope,' she said. Her father, for instance, clung on to the hope that miracles can occur, till the very end.
While warded in a hospice, he would ask for certain curative Chinese herbs.
That hope gave him the will to live. When the cancer spread, doctors gave him a maximum of three months.
'But he lived for eight months,' Ms Kor said. [email protected]
