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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
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Bart van Leeuwen
5 May 2021
Facebook Ban Trump
Donald Trump’s Facebook account should not be reinstated, the social media giant’s oversight board said on Wednesday,
barring an imminent return to the platform.
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Jean Gouders
6 May 2021
Trump Ban From Facebook Upheld by Oversight Board
Once again Trump is banned from Facebook, for now at least...
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Success Story?
Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner for a shoeshine. He sits in an armchair, examines the Wall Street Journal, and the shoe shiner buffs his shoes to a mirror shine.
One morning the shoe shiner asks the CEO: "What do you think about the situation in the stock market?"
The man answered arrogantly, "Why are you so interested in that topic?”
The shoe guy replies, "I have millions in your bank," he says, "and I'm considering investing some of the money in the capital market."
"What's your name? " asked the executive.
John H. Smith was the reply.
The CEO arrives at the bank and asks the Manager of the Customer Department; Do we have a client named John H. Smith? "Certainly, answers the Customer Service Manager, "he is a high-net-worth customer with 12.6 million dollars in his account."
The executive comes out, approaches the shoe shiner, and says, "Mr. Smith, I would like to invite you next Monday to be the guest of honor at our board meeting and tell us the story of your life. I am sure we could learn something from your life's experience."
At the board meeting, the CEO introduces him to the board members.
"We all know Mr. Smith, from the corner shoeshine stand, but Mr. Smith is also an esteemed customer. I invited him here to tell us the story of his life. I am sure we can learn from him."
Mr. Smith began his story.
"I came to this country fifty years ago as a young immigrant from Europe with an unpronounceable name. I got off the ship without a penny. The first thing I did was change my name to Smith. I was hungry and exhausted. I started wandering around looking for a job but to no avail. Fortunately, I found a coin on the sidewalk. I bought an apple. I had two options, eat the apple and quench my hunger or start a business.
I sold the apple for 25 cents and bought two apples with the money. I also sold them and continued in business. When I started accumulating a few dollars, I was able to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polish and started polishing shoes.
I didn't spend a penny on entertainment or clothing, I just bought bread and some cheese to survive. I saved penny by penny and after a while, I bought a new set of shoe brushes and polishes in different shades and expanded my clientele. I lived like a monk and saved penny by penny.
After a while, I was able to buy an armchair so my clients could sit comfortably while I shined their shoes, and that brought me more clients. I did not spend a penny on the joys of life. I kept saving every cent. A few years ago, when the previous shoe shiner on the corner decided to retire, I had already saved enough money to buy his shoeshine location at this great place”.
"Finally, 6 months ago, my sister, who was a whore in Chicago, passed away and left me 12.6 million dollars."
Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner for a shoeshine. He sits in an armchair, examines the Wall Street Journal, and the shoe shiner buffs his shoes to a mirror shine.
One morning the shoe shiner asks the CEO: "What do you think about the situation in the stock market?"
The man answered arrogantly, "Why are you so interested in that topic?”
The shoe guy replies, "I have millions in your bank," he says, "and I'm considering investing some of the money in the capital market."
"What's your name? " asked the executive.
John H. Smith was the reply.
The CEO arrives at the bank and asks the Manager of the Customer Department; Do we have a client named John H. Smith? "Certainly, answers the Customer Service Manager, "he is a high-net-worth customer with 12.6 million dollars in his account."
The executive comes out, approaches the shoe shiner, and says, "Mr. Smith, I would like to invite you next Monday to be the guest of honor at our board meeting and tell us the story of your life. I am sure we could learn something from your life's experience."
At the board meeting, the CEO introduces him to the board members.
"We all know Mr. Smith, from the corner shoeshine stand, but Mr. Smith is also an esteemed customer. I invited him here to tell us the story of his life. I am sure we can learn from him."
Mr. Smith began his story.
"I came to this country fifty years ago as a young immigrant from Europe with an unpronounceable name. I got off the ship without a penny. The first thing I did was change my name to Smith. I was hungry and exhausted. I started wandering around looking for a job but to no avail. Fortunately, I found a coin on the sidewalk. I bought an apple. I had two options, eat the apple and quench my hunger or start a business.
I sold the apple for 25 cents and bought two apples with the money. I also sold them and continued in business. When I started accumulating a few dollars, I was able to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polish and started polishing shoes.
I didn't spend a penny on entertainment or clothing, I just bought bread and some cheese to survive. I saved penny by penny and after a while, I bought a new set of shoe brushes and polishes in different shades and expanded my clientele. I lived like a monk and saved penny by penny.
After a while, I was able to buy an armchair so my clients could sit comfortably while I shined their shoes, and that brought me more clients. I did not spend a penny on the joys of life. I kept saving every cent. A few years ago, when the previous shoe shiner on the corner decided to retire, I had already saved enough money to buy his shoeshine location at this great place”.
"Finally, 6 months ago, my sister, who was a whore in Chicago, passed away and left me 12.6 million dollars."
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Million bucks?
A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what’s in the bag.
The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, of about 12 inches height, and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench. The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a beautiful piece by Mozart.
“Where on earth did you get that ???” asked the surprised bartender. The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says: “Here. Rub it.”
So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there’s a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him. “I will grant you one wish – just one.”
The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, “I want a million bucks !”
A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. Another duck, then another soon follow it. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming!
The bartender turns to the man and says, “You know, I think your genie’s a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks.”
The man replies, “Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?”
A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what’s in the bag.
The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, of about 12 inches height, and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench. The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a beautiful piece by Mozart.
“Where on earth did you get that ???” asked the surprised bartender. The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says: “Here. Rub it.”
So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there’s a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him. “I will grant you one wish – just one.”
The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, “I want a million bucks !”
A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. Another duck, then another soon follow it. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming!
The bartender turns to the man and says, “You know, I think your genie’s a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks.”
The man replies, “Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?”
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Vitor Neves
10 May 2021
India (and all of us) waiting for invincibility
India is experiencing a terrible second wave of the pandemic. The official numbers and figures must fall short of
the real dimension of the problem. Right now India has literally no arms enough to take care of all its people.
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