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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
ADULT JOKES - to brighten your weekend
A judge asked a woman why she wanted a divorce.
She answered, "Your Honor, he knew I'm a vegetarian and yet he still insists on putting his meat in my mouth."
Woman: " Doc, an ant entered my vagina, can you please take it out ?".
Doctor removes her panties and starts making love.
Woman: " What are you doing? "
Doctor: "This is the only way to drown the bastard!"
Q : What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
Answer: Your SALARY.
It comes once a month, lasts 3 - 4 days & if it doesn't come you are in deep trouble!
A lady visited her doctor again.
The Dr. said : You look more sick & exhausted than before. Are you having 3 meals a day as I advised?
Lady : WHAT? I thought you said 3 MALES a day !!!!
Women asked God to make The Penis Pretty.
GOD Said
" No way ; Now As It Is, The Penis is so ugly & U still Suck It.
If I make it Pretty You'll Eat It up !!
A nun went for a urine test. The sample got mixed up. When the doctor told her she was pregnant, she cried and said,
" Shit, we can't even trust cucumber anymore! "
A boy pulled down his pants in front of a girl & asked, " Do yo have this? "
The girl lifted up her skirt & said, " My mom said with this I can have a lot of THAT! "
Schoolgirl : " I do not want to take SEX EDUCATION."
Class Teacher: " Why not?"
Schoolgirl :
" Someone told me the FINAL EXAM would be ORAL!. "
Mother asks daughter how married life.
Daughter shyly says it is like BRITISH AIRWAYS.
Mother reads the advertisement & is shocked.
It says
" 7 DAYS A WEEK, TWICE A DAY, BOTH WAYS! "
What is the STRONGEST muscle?
TONGUE - It can raise a woman's hip with
just one lick!.
The lightest muscle ?
PENIS ! It can be raised
by a woman's tongue !
Lady Immigration officer asked a Korean tourist,
" Name? "
" Park Yu. "
0fficer become angry & shouted back,
" FUCK YOU! Now what's your full name? "
Korean replied,
" PARK YU TOO !! "
Man to wife : Business is bad. If you learn how to cook, we can remove our servant.
Wife : ASSHOLE! If you learn how to fuck,
we can remove our driver, gardener & watchman..
COCK says to his two Balls : I am going to take you with me to a party.
BALLS said : You big fucking liar. You always get INSIDE and leave us hanging Outside !
A baby dog asked mama dog how papa looks like .
Mama dog replies,
" How do I know? Your papa came from behind
& I didn't even have a chance to see his face! "
A judge asked a woman why she wanted a divorce.
She answered, "Your Honor, he knew I'm a vegetarian and yet he still insists on putting his meat in my mouth."
Woman: " Doc, an ant entered my vagina, can you please take it out ?".
Doctor removes her panties and starts making love.
Woman: " What are you doing? "
Doctor: "This is the only way to drown the bastard!"
Q : What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
Answer: Your SALARY.
It comes once a month, lasts 3 - 4 days & if it doesn't come you are in deep trouble!
A lady visited her doctor again.
The Dr. said : You look more sick & exhausted than before. Are you having 3 meals a day as I advised?
Lady : WHAT? I thought you said 3 MALES a day !!!!
Women asked God to make The Penis Pretty.
GOD Said
" No way ; Now As It Is, The Penis is so ugly & U still Suck It.
If I make it Pretty You'll Eat It up !!
A nun went for a urine test. The sample got mixed up. When the doctor told her she was pregnant, she cried and said,
" Shit, we can't even trust cucumber anymore! "
A boy pulled down his pants in front of a girl & asked, " Do yo have this? "
The girl lifted up her skirt & said, " My mom said with this I can have a lot of THAT! "
Schoolgirl : " I do not want to take SEX EDUCATION."
Class Teacher: " Why not?"
Schoolgirl :
" Someone told me the FINAL EXAM would be ORAL!. "
Mother asks daughter how married life.
Daughter shyly says it is like BRITISH AIRWAYS.
Mother reads the advertisement & is shocked.
It says
" 7 DAYS A WEEK, TWICE A DAY, BOTH WAYS! "
What is the STRONGEST muscle?
TONGUE - It can raise a woman's hip with
just one lick!.
The lightest muscle ?
PENIS ! It can be raised
by a woman's tongue !
Lady Immigration officer asked a Korean tourist,
" Name? "
" Park Yu. "
0fficer become angry & shouted back,
" FUCK YOU! Now what's your full name? "
Korean replied,
" PARK YU TOO !! "
Man to wife : Business is bad. If you learn how to cook, we can remove our servant.
Wife : ASSHOLE! If you learn how to fuck,
we can remove our driver, gardener & watchman..
COCK says to his two Balls : I am going to take you with me to a party.
BALLS said : You big fucking liar. You always get INSIDE and leave us hanging Outside !
A baby dog asked mama dog how papa looks like .
Mama dog replies,
" How do I know? Your papa came from behind
& I didn't even have a chance to see his face! "
Bart van Leeuwen
6 March 2021
Dirty Laundry
Over a year after stepping back from their royal duties, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are opening up
about that decision in a highly anticipated interview with Oprah.
Plop & KanKr
6 March 2021
The Pope in Iraq !
The Pope maintains his trip for peace in Iraq despite rocket fire at an American base.
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