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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
Men's Pearls of Wisdom
1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......
15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, ' Don 't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!
18. Breasts are proof that men can focus on 2 things at a time
Send to men with a good sense of humour and those women who need a good laugh.
1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......
15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, ' Don 't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!
18. Breasts are proof that men can focus on 2 things at a time
Send to men with a good sense of humour and those women who need a good laugh.
Of in laws and cars..
A Mother -in -Law decides to test her three Son- in- laws for their good nature.
For this she goes for a walk by a river with the first son in law & jumps in. He saves her. Next morning he finds a Toyota corolla parked outside his house with note: From your Mother In Law.
Next she goes for a walk by the river with the second son in law & jumps in. He too saves her. Next morning he also finds a Toyota Corolla parked outside his house with note : From your Mother In Law.
Next she goes for a walk by a river with the third son in law & jumps in. He just laughs and walks away. Next morning he finds a BMW M5 parked outside his house with note:
from your Father In Law!...]
A Mother -in -Law decides to test her three Son- in- laws for their good nature.
For this she goes for a walk by a river with the first son in law & jumps in. He saves her. Next morning he finds a Toyota corolla parked outside his house with note: From your Mother In Law.
Next she goes for a walk by the river with the second son in law & jumps in. He too saves her. Next morning he also finds a Toyota Corolla parked outside his house with note : From your Mother In Law.
Next she goes for a walk by a river with the third son in law & jumps in. He just laughs and walks away. Next morning he finds a BMW M5 parked outside his house with note:
from your Father In Law!...]
Brothel sues Church
What an interesting turn of events in Pahrump, Nevada. Diamond D's brothel began construction on an expansion of their building to increase their ever-growing business.
In response, the local Baptist Church started a campaign to block the business from expanding -- with morning, afternoon, and evening prayer sessions at their church.
Work on Diamond D's progressed right up until the week before the grand re-opening when lightning struck the whorehouse and burned it to the ground.
After the brothel burned to the ground by the lightning strike, the church folks were rather smug in their outlook, bragging about "the power of prayer."
But late last week 'Big Jugs' Jill Diamond, the owner/madam, sued the church, the preacher and the entire congregation on the grounds that the church..." was ultimately responsible for the demise of her building and her business -- either through direct or indirect divine actions or means."
In its reply to the court, the church vehemently and vociferously denied any and all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise.
The crusty old judge read through the plaintiff's complaint and the defendant's reply, and at the opening hearing he commented, " I don't know how the hell I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, that we now have a whorehouse owner who staunchly believes in the power of prayer.... And an entire church congregation that thinks it's all bullshit ."
What an interesting turn of events in Pahrump, Nevada. Diamond D's brothel began construction on an expansion of their building to increase their ever-growing business.
In response, the local Baptist Church started a campaign to block the business from expanding -- with morning, afternoon, and evening prayer sessions at their church.
Work on Diamond D's progressed right up until the week before the grand re-opening when lightning struck the whorehouse and burned it to the ground.
After the brothel burned to the ground by the lightning strike, the church folks were rather smug in their outlook, bragging about "the power of prayer."
But late last week 'Big Jugs' Jill Diamond, the owner/madam, sued the church, the preacher and the entire congregation on the grounds that the church..." was ultimately responsible for the demise of her building and her business -- either through direct or indirect divine actions or means."
In its reply to the court, the church vehemently and vociferously denied any and all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise.
The crusty old judge read through the plaintiff's complaint and the defendant's reply, and at the opening hearing he commented, " I don't know how the hell I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, that we now have a whorehouse owner who staunchly believes in the power of prayer.... And an entire church congregation that thinks it's all bullshit ."
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