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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
No laughing matter. 1st, El Nino messes our weather with dry spell. Now it's wet sister El Nina in South Asia 
El Nino dries up Asia as its stormy sister La Nina looms
A farmer feeds his water buffalo on what has become series of small ponds where the Ping River usually runs.
The severe drought has been called 'the worst in decades' by some and is likely to continue as the monsoon season is not expected to begin until late July.
http://www.bangkokpost.com/news/asia/953101/el-nino-dries-up-asia-as-its-stormy-sister-la-nina-looms
El Nino dries up Asia as its stormy sister La Nina looms
A farmer feeds his water buffalo on what has become series of small ponds where the Ping River usually runs.
The severe drought has been called 'the worst in decades' by some and is likely to continue as the monsoon season is not expected to begin until late July.
http://www.bangkokpost.com/news/asia/953101/el-nino-dries-up-asia-as-its-stormy-sister-la-nina-looms
Labourers join the "Stop All Vices, Stop All Troubles" campaign by drawing an outline of their hands and writing vows such as "I will quit smoking, drinking and gambling" on a canvass at Ebina House, Bangkok.
The event was held to mark the National Labour Day on May 1.PHOTO BY PATTARAPONG CHATPATTARASILL
The event was held to mark the National Labour Day on May 1.PHOTO BY PATTARAPONG CHATPATTARASILL
This thread is losing steam ah? So many dry jokes and lately contributions are not even funny.
My contribution....
Breaking News!!
Riza Aziz, producer of Wolf On Wall Street to begin production of his next blockbuster film titled "Swindler's List" starring Jibby Najib and co-starring beside him Rosmah "The Fat Hippo" Mansor.
My contribution....
Breaking News!!
Riza Aziz, producer of Wolf On Wall Street to begin production of his next blockbuster film titled "Swindler's List" starring Jibby Najib and co-starring beside him Rosmah "The Fat Hippo" Mansor.
Would have to disagree, this is a great thread!
Kamsia for dropping by.
Lately, more bent towards political lampoons:p My personal bias, as they depict topical affairs
Donald Trump Has a lot in common with Idi Amin, former Ugandan dictator.
Kamsia for dropping by.
Lately, more bent towards political lampoons:p My personal bias, as they depict topical affairs
Ok, but many contributors has gone MIA which is pretty sad. Where is Hornylee and others?
Never said it is not. Just that it is losing it's lustre.
What are the small bumps around a woman's' nipples for?
Its Braille for "suck here".
A middle-aged man had an obsession with women's breasts.
So he went to a psychologist and told the doctor about his
problem.
"I am going to do word association," explained the doctor.
"I am going to say a word, and you will say the first thing
that come to your mind."
"Oranges," said the doctor.
"Breasts," replied the patient.
"Apples."
"Breasts."
"Watermelons."
"Breasts."
"Wipers."
"Breasts," said the patient with the same reply.
"Wait a minute! I can see the connections between oranges,
apples, watermelons and breasts. But automobile's wipers?
Where is the connection?" asked the doctor.
"Easy...one on the left and one on the right!"
One day there was a big lady swimming in the ocean by the beach.
Suddenly, she noticed that she had lost her top. She thought that
no one would notice if she covered herself with her arms and walked
over to her towel.
So she went, and nobody seemed to notice her as she approached
her towel. Then a little girl came running up to her and said,
"Hey, lady!"
"What?" asked the startled lady.
"If you're going to drown those puppies, at least let me have
the one with the cute little brown nose."
Its Braille for "suck here".
A middle-aged man had an obsession with women's breasts.
So he went to a psychologist and told the doctor about his
problem.
"I am going to do word association," explained the doctor.
"I am going to say a word, and you will say the first thing
that come to your mind."
"Oranges," said the doctor.
"Breasts," replied the patient.
"Apples."
"Breasts."
"Watermelons."
"Breasts."
"Wipers."
"Breasts," said the patient with the same reply.
"Wait a minute! I can see the connections between oranges,
apples, watermelons and breasts. But automobile's wipers?
Where is the connection?" asked the doctor.
"Easy...one on the left and one on the right!"
One day there was a big lady swimming in the ocean by the beach.
Suddenly, she noticed that she had lost her top. She thought that
no one would notice if she covered herself with her arms and walked
over to her towel.
So she went, and nobody seemed to notice her as she approached
her towel. Then a little girl came running up to her and said,
"Hey, lady!"
"What?" asked the startled lady.
"If you're going to drown those puppies, at least let me have
the one with the cute little brown nose."
Here's a good one.....
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.
Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.
Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.
Deaf Horse?
A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse.
The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, "ALLLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly in the horse's ear.
Providing you do that, you'll be fine."
The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command.
The race begins and they approach the first hurdle.
The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
They carry on and approach the second hurdle.
The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers "Aleeee ooop" in the horse's ear.
The same thing happens - the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, "It's no good, I'll have to do it," and yells, "ALLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly.
Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems.
This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.
The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong.
The jockey replies, "Nothing is wrong with me - it's this bloody horse.
What is he - deaf or something?"
The trainer replies, "Deaf?? DEAF??
You idiot, he's not deaf - he's BLIND!"
A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse.
The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, "ALLLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly in the horse's ear.
Providing you do that, you'll be fine."
The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command.
The race begins and they approach the first hurdle.
The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
They carry on and approach the second hurdle.
The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers "Aleeee ooop" in the horse's ear.
The same thing happens - the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, "It's no good, I'll have to do it," and yells, "ALLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly.
Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems.
This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.
The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong.
The jockey replies, "Nothing is wrong with me - it's this bloody horse.
What is he - deaf or something?"
The trainer replies, "Deaf?? DEAF??
You idiot, he's not deaf - he's BLIND!"
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