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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine

sirus

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
--A man got on a bus with both of his front trouser pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blond haired woman.
The puzzled woman kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many glances from her, he said, "It’s golf balls."

The woman continued to look at him, thinking about what he had said.
Then, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked: "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
 

sirus

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
Five Unshakable Facts ...

1. A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra. A boy is grown up when he starts removing it.
2. We all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes but we never realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.
3. Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS.
4. Breaking News: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband.
5. Arguing over a girl's bust size is like choosing between VB, Fosters, James Boag’s or XXXX. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
 

sirus

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas."

Well, the boss wasn't sure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down and asked how many sales he made that day.

The kid looks at his shoes sheepishly and says, "One."

The boss, shocked, says, "Just one? Our sales people average sales to 20-30 customers a day. That will have to change soon if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in California. One sale a might have been acceptable in Texas, but you're not on the farm anymore, son."

The kid took his beating. He sure did, but he continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kind of bad for giving him a hard time on his first day. He asked, in a sort of sarcastic manner, "How much was your one sale for?"

The kid frowns and says, "$201,237.64."

The boss says, "201,237.64?? What the heck did you sell?"

The kid then says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then, I sold him a medium fish hook. Then, I sold him a larger fish hook. Then, I sold him a new fishing rod. Then, I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat; we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Mercedes would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him an 4x4 Expedition."

The boss says, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat AND a TRUCK!?!"

The kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and I said, 'your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.'"
 

yinyang

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
No contest? :p

Pinocchio, Snow White and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day.

As they walk, they come across a sign: "Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."
"I am entering," says Snow White..
After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya do?"
"First Place," said Snow White.

They continue walking and they see a sign: "Contest for the strongest man in the world."
"I'm entering," says Superman.
After half an hour he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"
"First Place," answers Superman. "Did you ever doubt?"

They continue walking when they see a sign: "Contest! Who is the
greatest liar in the world?"
Pinocchio says, "this is mine!"
Half an hour later, he returns with tears in his eyes.
"What happened?" they ask.
Pinocchio asks, "Who the hell is NAJIB?"
WHO IS NAJIB??!!!!

 

sirus

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
Boy-Got-Expelled-From-School.jpg
 

sirus

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
Sex education
[video=youtube;L0jQz6jqQS0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?t=1008&v=L0jQz6jqQS0[/video]
 
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