Anson says she married a man 16 years her senior because he gave her a sense of security. Despite her mother's objections, they have now been married three years.
She relates her story:
"My husband's name is Kong Pang Soon, and I am Anson See Toh.
"Our love story began at our workplace where we worked in the same department.
"I was attracted to him because of his tattoo! Quite a weird reason right?
"As was the case in my secondary school life, I’ve always been bullied by the seniors in my school.
"In the end, the person who used to be my best friend also ended up bullying me. Whatever kind of bullying you can think of, I've been through it.
"That is why I needed to find someone who could give me a sense of security instead of a 'good boy' boyfriend.
"The first time I worked overtime in my company, I was provided with a ride home. I was scheduled to travel with him and two others.
"We took a cab together and stopped at each home. I was the last to alight as I stay the furthest from the office.
"When he took the cab voucher, he asked 'who is Anson?', as if only a boy could have a name like that.
"I wondered why he didn’t know my name even though we worked in the same department? He was working under 'Receipts' while I was under 'Warehouse', but we were still in the same department.
"After a few months of working there I thought of quitting as I was paid by the hour, and I thought a monthly salary would be better. After I told my manager this, the company offered me a job with a monthly salary doing Quality Assurance/Quality Control in Admin and Warehouse.
"Because of this new job, I got the chance to work with him more often. Sometimes, I had to ask him to look for numbers on the actual parts. Eventually I asked for his handphone number as he didn’t have an office phone -- that’s how I got his number :P
"Slowly I got to know him and called him after office hours. At the time I was studying at a private school so on my way home I called him to chat. After a few weeks of chatting with him on the phone, I hinted that I liked him by saying I knew 'someone who liked a guy but didn't know how to proceed'.
"He got the hint, and gave me the answer that I'd sort of been rejected. I was quite sad as I don't usually make the first move in relationships.
"But when I was ready to accept the fact that I had been rejected, he said to me: 'what if you had tried to break a password where your key was 221 and you gave up when the password was 222?' When he said this, I thought 'hey you rejected me yet give me hope again.
"After that night, we were officially together =). I asked him what his age was. I felt funny alright, asking his age only after getting together.
"I found out that he was 34 while I was only at that point in time. I was shocked! He totally did not look 34!
"But in my mind I was thinking since I made the first move I was not going to give up just because there were 16 years between us.
"So I decided to give the relationship a try since I really liked him. Who knows, it might just work!
"While we were dating, we opened a joint account together and we each saved $500 a month.
"With our overtime pay, we managed to save enough to watch the occasional movie.
"We dated for one and half years before we finally got married. We had planned to get married on Sep 9, 2009, as I would be officially 21 and I would not need my mum’s consent (Ok I’m a bad girl).
"Once Chinese New Year, we went to my aunt's house for visiting.
"My relatives didn't say anything until we left. My aunt told my mum: 'why was Anson with a guy so much older than her?'
"I guess he looked old to everyone but me. From that point my mum started asking who I was going out with. I was just 19 yrs old at that point of time.
"But I still went out with him. We only met on weekends when he was not working.
"I stay in Hougang and he stays in Jurong West.
"Sometimes I would lie to my mum, saying that I was working and needed to wake up early at 5am to get ready and take the MRT all the way down to meet him at his place. By the time I reach it is usually 8am.
"Despite the distances between us, we still managed a relationship well.
"Some time later I found out I was pregnant. He was not scared at all and ready to face my mum. At the time, she still had no clue that we were together, and she has a traditional mindset.
"We got married on Valentine’s Day in 2008.
"Six months later, I gave birth to our son, Kayden, on Aug 8, 2008.
"I managed almost everything in our marriage from the ROM ceremony to the wedding as he is a Malaysian would not know anything about getting married in Singapore.
"But I was still willing to do it, even though we quarrelled often. He stood by me and taught me much along the way, like how not to be a puppet to my mum. She took advantage of me and I spoiled her plans by getting married to someone so much older then me and getting pregnant.
"I don't mind that our wedding photos were taken indoors and in Malaysia, all in one day. We were going to start a family and needed to save up.
"There was one time he won over $3,000 betting soccer, and he give me few hundred dollars. Not all guys would do that.
"He teaches me a lot and gives in to me sometimes. We both give and take in this relationship. He allowed me to look after my elder son when I wanted to look after him myself. This meant that he would be the only one working for the family.
"Last year end, I gave birth to my younger son, Kyzel.
"My mum still didn't think much of our marriage and even scolded me for getting pregnant again so soon. He told me to endure, not to get angry and not care about what my mom says.
"Now that I'm back to working life we will be getting our flat in a few years.
"Both of us are working hard and saving money for a better life.
"I want to tell my beloved Hubby that I will always love him and our cute boys.
"Happy Valentine's Day and happy third anniversary!
"Though we didn't get to go on a honeymoon after we got married, I know we will travel the world when you have the money.
"Thank you for the diamond bracelet and ring, even though you said white gold and diamonds aren't worth any money.
"Let's work together for our family of four!
"永远爱你的可爱老婆！ (your loving and cute wife)."
