In step

RiverOL · Feb 6, 2025

We Are Always Dependent Upon God

Help With God’s Strength

The God of heaven will give us success.

Nehemiah 2:20

Lately, I’ve been relating a lot to the Old Testament character Nehemiah who felt physically exhausted, emotionally spent, and spiritually opposed (and I’m not trying to rebuild a wall…just be faithful to the small stuff God has called me to do). As I read about the circumstances surrounding this unflinching soul who labored long and hard despite opposition from many forces, I am struck by this man’s focus on his objective to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem (no matter what).

Bible Characters Are No Different Than Us

No doubt, Nehemiah, like all of us, caught the glorious vision of restoring what enemies had destroyed for God’s honor and as a testimony of hope for the future of God’s people. When he realized the depth of destruction that had occurred, Nehemiah sat down and wept. Sound familiar? I wonder how many of us have the same reaction to — the national news, our local news, even to daily reports from our closest friends and family?

Pray With Great Expectation

Of course, the appropriate reaction to any report of injury, loss, and destruction is to sit down and weep. But Nehemiah didn’t stop with the natural reaction; he took the news of the catastrophe and went straight to God. Nehemiah’s bold prayer of faith, of great expectation even, is the kind of prayer I’m offering up to the Lord these days because I know my one and only hope lies in the deliverance that God alone can supply.

We Pray Then We Get To Work

Reading about the days that followed Nehemiah’s gathering of workers and supplies, I marvel at not only how hard they worked, but how they worked — each one with his weapon in his hand. Nehemiah and his people were always building and watching. In other words, they had a job to do, but they were wise enough to stay on alert to the dangers that always accompany a work of faith (seen and unseen).

God Gives Us the Strength To Serve

“But I (Nehemiah) prayed, ‘Now strengthen my hands.’” Nehemiah, terrific leader that he was, proved himself strong in faith as well as street smarts. He knew instinctively what I often forget. God can call us to a work but it’s up to us to make sure we have our equipment, our supplies, and our weapons at the ready because opposition is always lurking just outside our line of vision. For me, when I have a job to do, my best work (for God) comes only after I’ve counted the cost and prepared for the task at hand.

We Are Always Dependent Upon God

For all of us, preparation comes in many guises…and there’ll be a price to pay, a burden we willingly take on, and sacrifices we’ll gladly make the moment God calls us. And yet, we can only complete the job with God’s sovereign intervention. He puts the burden upon our heart to accomplish for Him something we can only do through Him…and each step of the way, with our hand upon our weapon (of faith), He gives us the gift of conscious reliance upon His moment by moment provision. We’re only truly suited for serving well when we truly understand the depth of our dependence upon Him.

RiverOL · Feb 7, 2025

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Where’s Home?

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Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden,
and I will give you rest—Matthew 11:28

“He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness” (Psalm 23:2-3). How does God restore your soul, brother? Where do you find rest? How are you most able to forget, even for a few moments, the pressures of this life? Where do you get reset and realigned? How do you connect with God most easily? Where are you most able to hear his voice or feel his guidance?

Is it in praying at your breakfast table in the early morning, before anyone else wakes? Or in reading Scripture on the treadmill or in your car over the lunch hour? Is it in a few minutes of stillness and solitude in the evening? Or in boisterous community around a table, with brothers or with family? Is it in walking or running or biking through streets or through hills? Is it in listening to music? Or in making your own music, singing in church perhaps? Or in something else entirely?

Recognize that God designed you, uniquely, to have ways—even amid the busyness—to find him, to find rest and restoration through him. You were designed to, every so often, just come home. So open your eyes. Search your heart. He has, no doubt, already shown you how.

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Okay, so what do we do?

Think back on times when you most felt God’s peace, most felt his presence. That you have experienced him in particular ways, in particular places, in particular activities, means he has spoken . . . right to you. He’s given you permission to do those things, whatever they are. He’s told you he wants you to do those things—that you’ve got to do those things. Now, you simply must choose to do them, consistently and often.

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RiverOL · Feb 8, 2025

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Ready for an Upgrade?

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. . . the wisdom from above is first pure,
then peaceable, gentle, open to reason,
full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere—James 3:17

A lot of men—not every man—but a lot of us struggle to hold back a harsh and judgmental attitude toward the world around us, sometimes even toward those we love the most. In the rush and charge of life, with the volatility of family, the pressure of work, the friction of the world, we too often give in to snap impulses to anger and criticism. They feel right in the moment, but they never are (Proverbs 14:17). More considered, gentler approaches are always better—less destructive, more effective, more powerful (Proverbs 19:11, 29:11; James 3:13-18).

These impulses also reveal something deeper: our pride. If we’re honest, they come from thinking too highly of ourselves, trusting ourselves too much, trusting our wisdom, our capabilities, and our “ways” too much . . . and thinking too little of those of the people around us. But, “God opposes the proud,” as pride leads only to hurt and separation (James 4:6; Proverbs 16:18).

So, we must take ground in this struggle. We mustn’t let another day, another year, another decade slip by, doing nothing. These impulses are too hard on others. We must allow our guide, God the Holy Spirit, to train us in humility, to be “quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19-20).

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Okay, so what do we do?

Confess and repent to God, in prayer. Turn your back on that harsh, judgmental man. Declare that you want to be a different kind of man. Invite God’s training. That’s a bold prayer—so bring a brother (or a few) into the endeavor. Ask him/them to pray for you, speak truth to you, and keep you accountable as God begins to move in your life.

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RiverOL · Feb 9, 2025

From Hurry to Holiness: Living Unhurried in a Rushed World

On my drive home from a visit to the Museum of the Bible in Washington, D.C., I hit the kind of terrible traffic that the area surrounding the District is notorious for. The trip down had been smooth and fast, so when the gridlock set in on the way home, frustration crept in, too. I should know better. I lived in the area some years ago, but seemingly I never got used to it. In that frustrating moment, I found myself gridlocked too, disconnecting from the present, caught up in annoyance instead of being mindful of the moment.

I am at that age now where when I am stuck in traffic, I don’t want the kids making a bunch of noise, nor the radio on, and I want to try and stay calm physically, mentally, spiritually, and so on. In reflecting on the frustration that I felt in that moment, I was also reminded that the beauty of any experience — whether a quiet drive or meaningful conversation — is found when we’re unhurried, fully present, and open to connection. I missed it at that moment, but I believe that we, as followers of Jesus are called to see every ordinary moment as a possibility for the Holy Spirit to do something extraordinary. Each moment is pregnant with the possibility of declaring that the Kingdom of God is at hand, it is within reach. In gridlock, I was struggling to remember that nor dream of the possibilities.

That isn’t the only time I struggle in ordinary moments to see the Kingdom of God within reach in extraordinary ways. I struggle to believe the same in meetings and conversations with people – especially certain meetings and conversations with certain people. According to the Big Five Personality Test (or OCEAN assessments), I am an ambivert. I am just above the middle between extrovert and introvert.

Though, I used to always assessed on the extrovert side, that has changed over time. Ambiverts are fluid and flexible based on situations – we enjoy being around others but deeply value time alone. For me, this means I groan when certain people stop by to talk. There is a slowness to their conversation or a haphazard approach that I don’t feel that I have time for. At the same time, there are some people that stop in, and they are fun for a moment or two – but they trap you.

You know these people, they are a mile-a-minute talkers, that throw so much at you, erratically changing topics, and as a result you become exhausted two minutes into the conversation and you feel like you just completed a marathon. To be fair, I have never completed a marathon but I imagine that is what it feels like. There are the meetings you don’t feel you have anything to offer, and there are meetings in which could have been an email but they drag on. These moments too are ordinary moments with great possibility for the Holy Spirit to do something extraordinary. These exhausting and overwhelming moments too are pregnant with the possibility of declaring that the Kingdom of God is at-hand, that it is within reach. Yet, in the moment far too often we struggle to remember that nor dream of the possibilities.

We live in a hurried culture.

We live in a world filled with quick texts, fleeting remarks, hinted assumptions, and rushed meetings. Pressures and expectations are around us on all sides in the places we live, work, worship, and play. Then we have the pressures that kids sports and other involvements add into the mix. Recently, I feel that my ability to retain information (regardless if it be theology or a story) has been replaced by the need to simply remember the growing to-do list as a parent, employee, pastor, and a student.

However, it is not just me, I believe that the pressure to move on to the next task is pressing and relentless for many of us – especially those of us who are driven extroverts. For others—perhaps especially introverts—there’s often a desire to simply get through the conversation or meeting so we can retreat to a place of peace. In this hurried pace, we finish each other’s sentences, interrupt, and assume we already know what someone is saying or feeling. This is a far cry away from David’s prophetic reminder to be still in the moment and know God is God.

The moment before us is almost always important. Yet, it is hard to remember that (sometimes I might not even want to remember that). So often we detach from the present, our minds drifting to upcoming tasks and lingering to-do lists, all while trying to maintain the appearance of being engaged in conversation. This rush and detachment undermine the beauty of unhurried conversations. As followers of Jesus, we need to see that ordinary moments are a possibility for the Holy Spirit to do something extraordinary. Each moment is pregnant with the possibility of declaring that the Kingdom of God is at-hand, it is within reach. In the gridlock of the day, it is hard to remember and to dream of the possibilities.

The scriptures call for an unhurried way of living.

Without a doubt, I believe the scriptures call to us an unhurried life. In his book, An Unhurried Life, Pastor Alan Fadling mentions “I am a recovering speed addict,” and I think many of us are. Though it is not all that he meant, I suspect that this truth is embedded to what Paul meant when he told the Thessalonians to focus on “leading a quiet life” (1 Thessalonians 4:11). You may recall that I explored some time ago that the word “quiet” implies “stillness” and has some similarities to David’s call to “be still and know” (Psalms 46:10).

The scriptures actually portray in many ways that “the one who acts hastily makes poor choices” (Proverbs 19:2). The Proverbs also tell us that those who are hasty with their plans and actions come to poverty (Proverbs 21:5). Those who are hasty with their words will find that fools have more hope (Proverbs 29:20). The word hasty implies being hurried and is used that way at times.

Jesus modeled an unhurried way of living.

Even more, there are many times in Jesus’ ministry that Jesus modeled a way that was unhurried. As Glynnis Whitwer commented on her blog, “Others around Jesus tried to hurry Him up, but Jesus refused to be rushed.” There are many stories that orient us into the possibility of the present. In the New Testament, most notably is the story of Mary and Martha. Jesus tells Martha that she is “worried and troubled about many things, but one thing is needed” (Luke 10:41, NET).

What was needed was the practice of being still in that moment and knowing God is God. Dallas Willard described Jesus as “relaxed.” Even more, Jesus affirms that Mary has chosen the best way, a way of stillness with the master (Luke 10:42, NET). The unhurried way of living is at the core of who Jesus was, as we see him allow himself to be interrupted by people on his journey from one place to another – such as the woman with a bleeding problem in Luke 8:43-48. Jesus was headed somewhere, to do good works for another individual in great need, but Jesus still allowed himself to be interrupted in the moment.

There is the story of Jesus learning that Lazarus was sick and dying, Jesus is not in a hurry and seemingly even delays, not shortening the moment he was in nor the moment of triumph yet to come (John 11:5-6). John tells us that that the one who claims to reside in God, “ought to walk just as Jesus walked,” or conduct himself as Jesus did (1 John 2:6, NET). The unhurried way is a way Jesus conducted him. As followers of Jesus are called to see every ordinary moment as a possibility for the Holy Spirit to do something extraordinary. Each moment is pregnant with the possibility of declaring that the Kingdom of God is at-hand.

We are also called to an unhurried way of conversation.

We are to be unhurried with our relationships and discernments, but also unhurried with our speech and conversations. In Proverbs, we find “the one who gives an answer before he listens” will find foolishness and shame (Proverbs 18:13, NET). This same caution is found in the New Testament. James, the brother of Jesus, encourages us to only be quick to do the unhurried thing – he writes, “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters! Let every person be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.” (James 1:19, NET).

This simple wisdom reminds us that listening with patience is a spiritual practice. When we aren’t in a hurry to respond, we honor both the person speaking and the sacredness of the moment. In being unhurried, we can be more prone to see each ordinary moment as a possibility for the Holy Spirit to do something extraordinary. The unhurried way is about sitting in the moment to see how it is pregnant with the possibility of declaring that the Kingdom of God is at-hand, that it is within reach.

The benefits of an unhurried way of living.

The significance of being unhurried isn’t in the way it benefits us physically, emotionally, or mentally. The sciences around us would certainly agree that there are practical benefits to an unhurried life – a life that is slow, patterned, and not hasty. Many sources, such as HealthShots, point out the health benefits of including lazy days into your routine. However, the significance of practicing an unhurried life is spiritually significant:

The unhurried life helps us to stop striving so that we can recognize where God needs to be exalted (Psalm 46:10, NET).
The unhurried life invites us to reside in the restful peace that Jesus offers, empowering us to let go of the unhealthy brokenness in our lives, allowing our souls to prioritize our efforts and ways (Matthew 11:28-30, NET).
The unhurried life allows us to see where God is at work in our lives in a way that moves us through awareness and repentance so that we take hold of God’s promises, in this way the unhurried way of quietness and trust is strength (Isaiah 30:15, NET).
In an unhurried life we begin to see what God is doing in the lives of those around us, valuing them and their interests above ourselves, and we can encourage God’s leading (Philippians 2:3-4, NET).

In being unhurried, we can be more prone to see each ordinary moment as a possibility for the Holy Spirit to do something extraordinary. The unhurried way is about sitting in the moment to see how it is pregnant with the possibility of declaring that the Kingdom of God is at-hand, that it is within reach.

Closing Thoughts

Jesus was seldom in a hurry, and he can be described as restful. It is a way of life for us to live by. So slow down, listen well, and discover the beauty of unhurried moments, meetings, and conversations. God’s presence often meets us in those sacred spaces void of hurry and distraction. This is what it means to make it our ambition to lead a quiet life.

What are some areas in your life where you feel hurried or overwhelmed? How might slowing down open space for the Holy Spirit to work?
How often do you notice God’s presence in the seemingly ordinary or mundane moments? How could you be more attentive?
What practices could help you embrace a slower, more intentional pace in your walk with Jesus?

RiverOL · Feb 10, 2025

Does Belief in God’s Sovereignty Mean We Must Be Fatalists?

The EPM staff posted this video on Facebook of my answer to the question, “When Someone Dies Young, Did They Die Before Their Time or Did They Die at the Appointed Time?”

A commenter replied: “What about babies who die by abortion? I cannot believe God would ordain a child to be killed by abortion. If everything is pre-ordained, why worry about fighting against anything, like abortion? God ALLOWS Satan to do so much and wants us to take responsibility for standing up for what is right. Otherwise, we are all just puppets.”

I appreciate the honest questions this commenter asks. Yes, the question of how human choice and divine sovereignty can coexist is big and difficult, but it’s also vitally important for Christians to consider.

The philosophy of fatalism holds that everything, including evil, suffering, and damnation, happens inevitably, with human beings powerless to effect change. Fatalism predominates among many (not all) Hindus and Muslims. The Arabic term Insha’Allah implies that whatever happens is God’s will.

Unfortunately, some Christians—hyper-Calvinists, for instance—also reason like fatalists: “If people are elect, God will save them; if they are not, no effort to convert them can bear fruit. Therefore, missions and evangelism are senseless.”

But Christianized fatalism doesn’t end there. I have heard this logic on several occasions, though in language less blunt than my paraphrase: “A sovereign God decrees racism, slavery, and sex trafficking; they exist, and His will cannot be thwarted, therefore they are His will—so why should we battle them? To do so would be to fight against God.”

I’ve been told by several evangelical pastors that we should accept abortion as God’s way of populating Heaven, since if those aborted babies were allowed to live, most of them would never be saved.

In contrast, the Bible calls upon people to choose to take action, speak up for, and help the poor and needy (see, for example, Proverbs 31:8–9 and James 1:27). This is the polar opposite of fatalism.

Albert Einstein said, “The world is too dangerous to live in—not because of people who do evil, but because of people who sit and let it happen.” Some of that stems from indifference, some from fatalism.

Since God can use even evil for His glory, if I try to stop a sin, am I in danger of trying to thwart God’s will? No, because God commands us to intervene to stop injustice, so that His moral will can be done.

Scripture teaches that humans make real choices and that we must resist evil, yet God remains sovereign in a nonfatalistic way. He offers us choices and encourages us to pray that He bring about changes, and to do what we can to change our lives and the world itself. God uses the proclamation of His Word to save the lost (see Romans 10:14–15). Paul says, “We are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God” (2 Corinthians 5:20).

This is not the language of icy predetermination that supposes God has no passion to reach the lost, or that human beings have no role in His plan to do so. Any theological position that prompts us to think otherwise is foreign to God’s Word and to the original followers of Jesus.

Some professing compatibilists talk like hyper-Calvinists. (Many Calvinists call themselves “compatibilists” —which is what I actually am, by the way—because they too believe human free will is compatible with God’s sovereignty. Yet they see this compatibility in different ways than Arminians do.) They minimize human choice, as if it were invented by Arminians rather than God. Isn’t it disingenuous for a compatibilist to imply that God’s sovereign determination negates rather than embraces meaningful human choice? Why does God reward those who help the poor and share the gospel, and hold accountable those who don’t? Doesn’t it glorify God more to see Him as sovereign over a universe full of choice-making creatures than as a puppeteer?

Don’t get me wrong. If God wanted to do so, He is fully capable of being a puppet master, sovereignly pulling every string of every creature in His universe to do exactly what He wants, all the time. That view of reality appears to be supported by some Scripture passages taken in isolation. But such a view is not taught by the larger context of the whole—of Scripture—nor by our human experience. I believe if we carefully listen to all God has to say, He’ll surprise us with the breadth, depth, and beauty of what He has revealed about both His sovereignty and our meaningful choice.

RiverOL · Feb 11, 2025

Whatcha Gonna Do With Those Stones?

Whatcha Gonna Do With Those Stones, Hon?

My first real teaching assignment was in a Kindergarten class in rural Georgia. The first year was challenging in a number of ways, and one of the biggest challenges was a small boy who always seemed to be getting into something he was not supposed to. Once in a while, he became aggressive toward other children, though I don’t think he realized it was aggressive. Throwing things at other children while smiling his own unique smile was play to him.
One day he had separated himself from everyone else on the playground, so I walked quietly over to him to see what he was up to. I saw that he had collected quite a pile of stones in front of him. “Whatcha gonna do with those stones, Hon?” I asked …

What might be done with stones? Hmmmmm … what might be done with stones.

Whatcha gonna do with those stones?

Build an altar?

What is an altar? We get our English word altar from the Late Latin altare, meaning high or higher. The Hebrew word translated “altar” in these verses has the same sense. It signifies a raised place where a sacrifice is made. So an altar is a high place, a place elevated above the regular grade of the earth, on which sacrifices are offered.
And the specified sacrifices for these altars were burnt offerings and peace offerings… After nearly forty years of wilderness wanderings, Moses told the children of Israel what they had to do once they entered the Land. Deuteronomy 27:5-7: And there [Mt. Ebal] shalt thou build an altar unto the Lord thy God, an altar of stones: thou shalt not lift up any iron tool upon them.
Thou shalt build the altar of the Lord thy God of whole stones: and thou shalt offer burnt offerings thereon unto the Lord thy God: And thou shalt offer peace offerings, and shalt eat there, and rejoice before the Lord thy God (https://thebiblephiles.com/2014/10/27/altars-of-earth-and-stone/).
The term altar is mentioned approximately 400 times in the Bible The first mention of an altar in the Bible is in Genesis 8:20 when Noah built an altar to the Lord after the flood, and the scriptures mention them many times following.
Altars were typically used for sacrifices, worship, and making covenants with God. The scriptures often describe them as being made of earth or uncut stones. In the Old Testament, altars were often erected in places where God had done something significant or appeared to someone.

Whatcha gonna do with those stones?

Fight an enemy?

I Samuel 17:32-50:
David said to Saul, “Let no one lose heart on account of this Philistine; your servant will go and fight him.” Saul replied, “You are not able to go out against this Philistine and fight him; you are only a young man, and he has been a warrior from his youth.” But David said to Saul, “Your servant has been keeping his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.”
Saul said to David, “Go, and the Lord be with you.”
Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armor on him and a bronze helmet on his head. David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them. “I cannot go in these,” he said to Saul, “because I am not used to them.” So he took them off. Then he took his staff in his hand, chose five smooth stones from the stream, put them in the pouch of his shepherd’s bag and, with his sling in his hand, approached the Philistine.
Meanwhile, the Philistine, with his shield bearer in front of him, kept coming closer to David. He looked David over and saw that he was little more than a boy, glowing with health and handsome, and he despised him. He said to David, “Am I a dog, that you come at me with sticks?” And the Philistine cursed David by his gods. “Come here,” he said, “and I’ll give your flesh to the birds and the wild animals!”
David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.”
As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him. Reaching into his bag and taking out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell facedown on the ground. So David triumphed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone; without a sword in his hand he struck down the Philistine and killed him.

Whatcha gonna do with those stones?

Teach a lesson?

John 8:2-9:
At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?”
They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”
Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.

A lot can happen with a pile of stones.

…so, there was that small boy with his pile of stones in front of him. “Whatcha gonna do with those stones, Hon?” I asked.
He looked up at me and smiled his own unique smile and answered, “I’m building a bridge.”
Good idea, my young friend. We all need bridges.
I imagine you get my point. So many things in life can be used for good or for evil, like stones. What stones are you collecting today, and whatcha gonna do with those stones?
Ecclesiastes 3:1, 5a: “To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones together.”

God bless you and give you stones for bridges!

RiverOL · Feb 12, 2025

Consider Reading the Bible Chronologically This Year

Countless Christians believe that Bible reading is their duty—something holy people do. What many don’t understand is exactly what Scripture really tells us: that meditating on God’s Word can and should delight us, infusing us with heartfelt happiness (see Psalm 1; the world translated “blessed” is asher, which means “happy”). David said of God’s words, “More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb” (Psalm 19:10). Throughout the difficulties and joys that 2025 will bring, you’ll find abiding happiness as you go back to God’s Word again and again.

One Bible reading program to consider is the Bible Recap, a chronological read through with Tara-Leigh Cobble. Several of our EPM staff did it in 2024, and highly recommend it. You read 2-3 chapters of Scripture each day, then listen to a (free) 7-10 minute podcast where Tara-Leigh helps you understand what you read, where it fits in Scripture, and what we learn about God from it.

One of our staff members says, “It’s like going through the Bible with a wise friend who can help you make sense of what you’re reading. That’s especially helpful when you get to some of the tricker passages of the Bible! My knowledge of Scripture and God’s character has grown so much doing this read through.” You can learn more about the Bible Recap here.

Why can a chronological read through be especially helpful? Tara-Leigh Cobble writes in her book The Joy of the Trinity:

Contrary to popular thought, God doesn’t undergo a personality transplant at the end of the Old Testament. When we follow the story line of Scripture, we see a God who created mankind out of an overflow of love, who clothed Adam and Eve before they even repented, who rescued the Israelites out of slavery, joyfully choosing to set up camp in their midst and repeatedly forgiving them, blessing them, and reminding them He was sending a Messiah to rescue them. This is the heart of God evident in the scope of the Old Testament’s metanarrative. All along He dropped hints of what was coming, and then He delivered on His promise!

Of course, if we drop down in the middle of the Old Testament in a time when He’s punishing the Israelites, He seems harsh. We won’t understand why His laws were helpful and necessary. We’ll fail to notice He’s already told them repeatedly not to do that specific sinful thing, told them what type of punishment to expect if/when they do it, and then continued to provide for them and protect them despite their rebellion.

With our limited information, we’ll view Him as strict or angry, and we won’t draw near to Him. We’ll prefer to stay in the New Testament where we can read about Jesus, who paid for all the sins we know we’ve committed. This is a common problem we encounter when we don’t read the story of Scripture chronologically (in the order it happened, not the order it is laid out). Reading the Bible at all is an important endeavor, but reading chronologically can help us get to know God in the order He chose to reveal Himself through progressive revelation.

There is a necessary process of the gospel: we must be confronted with God’s laws and requirements, see that we fall short and can’t obey His laws, and realize our need for rescue. Jesus came to be that Rescuer. He not only paid our sin debt, but He also granted us His righteousness! This is how progressive revelation works in our relationship with God, and it’s the reason we still desperately need the truths of the Old Testament to see Him rightly!

Ligonier Ministries also has a great list of Bible reading plans to choose from.

Whatever Bible reading program you decide on (and I highly recommend you choose one and stick with it), may your coming year be filled with the deep, abiding joy and happiness of knowing Jesus Christ!

RiverOL · Feb 13, 2025

What does John the Baptist mean by, “Disciple of Jesus.”

What does the term, “Disciple of Jesus” mean to you? Do you consider yourself a disciple of Jesus? Would you know how to explain to someone else what it means to be a disciple of Jesus?

John the Baptist came on the scene before Jesus. He was a disciple of Jesus before the concept or idea was even a thing. The Gospel of John unpacks John the Baptist’ view and calling as a disciple of Jesus. His view and calling are applicable to our lives today. Matter a fact, how he views discipleship is how we should view discipleship. How he lived as a disciple of Jesus is how we should live as a disciple of Jesus.

Strangely, John the Baptist was not only a follower of Jesus, but he also grew up with Jesus. They probably played together as children. Think about that? How unique is that? How incredible is that?

When John the Baptist comes on the scene in John 1:19 everyone around him mistook him for being the Christ. The religious leaders of John the Baptist’ day wanted to know who he was. All of us face this dilemma and question, “Who are you?” I would even say we ask ourselves, “Who am I?” It is the most fundamental question that we all must answer as human beings and disciples of Jesus. Who are you?

John the Baptist made it clear in John 1:20, “I am not the Messiah.” They pressed him, “then who are you?” He finally said in John 1:23, “I am a voice crying out in the wilderness, “Make straight the way of the Lord.” John the Baptist was making it clear to them, “I am not the way!” He was here to make the way of Jesus clear to others. If you and I are followers of Jesus, then like John the Baptist, we are here as a voice to make it clear to others that we are not the way, but we are here to declare, “Jesus is the way.” A disciple of Jesus in John the Baptist’s understanding was one who existed to use their voice to make it clear to others that Jesus is the way.

Are you in the way of others experiencing Jesus or are you preparing the way for others to experience Jesus?

In John 1:34, John the Baptist saw Jesus coming toward him and said, “I have seen, and I testify that this is God’s Chosen One.” A disciple of Jesus is one who testifies of who Jesus is to others. My wife, Tosha, a few years ago, launched a ministry called, Family Disciple Me. The motto of this ministry is, “Seek Him, Speak Him.” This pretty much sums up John the Baptist’ first century testimony of Jesus. To be a disciple of Jesus you must seek out who Jesus is in His Word and then declare like John the Baptist did to others who Jesus is.

Your testimony of who Jesus is and how Jesus has changed your life is the most powerful thing about your life. A disciple of Jesus testifies who Jesus is and what He has done in their lives.

After John the Baptist declared who Jesus was to others, Jesus invited those who heard John’s report to come and see for themselves. In John 1:39 Jesus said, “Come and you will see!” Jesus invites us into His life. He invites us to experience who He is. A disciple of Jesus is one who is with Jesus, spends time with Jesus. John 1 tells us that the Word is Jesus, so when we spend time with the Holy Word, we are spending time with Jesus.

A disciple of Jesus spends time with Jesus through His Word.

Two of the disciples who heard John the Baptist talk about Jesus, were Andrew and Simon Peter. Andrew brought Simon Peter to Jesus. In John 1:42 Jesus says, “You are Simon the son of John. You shall be called Cephas” (which means Peter).

A disciple of Jesus is changed, transformed by Jesus. We all might think we know who God has created us to be, but Jesus knows. We perceive ourselves through physical eyes and realms but Jesus like Peter, perceives us through spiritual eyes. Peter understood himself based off his biological father, “son of John” but Jesus understand Peter based off His Holy calling, “Peter” which means little rock. Jesus had a purpose for Peter. Our relationship with Jesus transforms us to live differently and to live a unique calling that was placed on our lives by Jesus.

A disciple of Jesus is one who lives their God given calling not based on their biological origin but their spiritual calling from God. You are not the sum up where you came from, you are so much more. You are called by God to fulfill an eternal purpose for Jesus. This transformed Simon son of John into Peter.

After the transformation statement of Peter, Jesus presses into Philip and calls him to be a disciple by simply saying, “Follow me.” Phillip did and this led him to reaching out to his friend, Nathanael. John 1:45 says, “Philip found Nathanael.” Who has Jesus called you to go find in your network of relationships for him?

Jesus speaks to Nathanael in John 1:47 and says, ““Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom there is no deceit!” 48 Nathanael said to him, “How do you know me?” Jesus answered him, “Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.”

God sees us. He watches us. He observes us and then He calls us.

A disciple of Jesus is seen by God. Our worth is determined by Jesus’ declaration of who He sees us to be. Nathanael was one without deceit. A disciple of Jesus is a “called out one” by Jesus. He declares our character transformation. He deems who we are and what we are. Our worth is determined by His words.

A disciple of Jesus believes who Jesus says they are and accepts His watchful eye over them.

You are one in whom He sees and declares to be, now go as He commands us in Matthew 28 and repeat the process of making other disciples of Jesus. We are here to make Him famous, for His glory and our good. Now, go and prepare the way for others, be a voice for Jesus.

Blessings,

Pastor Kelly

RiverOL · Feb 14, 2025

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You're Built for Opposition

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The one who conquers, I will grant him
to sit with me on my throne—Revelation 3:21

Ever been in the middle of something tough, prayed for rescue, and heard . . . nothing? Ever questioned God, in frustration, “Why won’t you answer?”

Could it be that God doesn’t always answer because, sometimes, he wants us to stay right where we are and learn, there, how to fight? Could it be that God sometimes allows trouble and pain to train us, to build our maturity, to make us more reliable conduits of his love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control? We often consider trouble and pain as unnecessary, to be avoided, hindrances to ease and happiness. Might it make more sense to consider trouble and pain as opposition, as a mountaineer views the pitch and the altitude, or as a linebacker views the block and the fake?

We aren’t meant to be men who avoid opposition, numb it or deny it. We aren’t meant to run from battles, to hide and to let others fight. We’re built for opposition. Truthfully, we’d probably wither without it. We must see it, though, for what it is: “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12). Our struggle is against being lured into selfishness, indifference, impatience, rage, resignation, or sin in the face of problems at work, or in our finances or relationships or families. These are epic struggles—battles worthy of any man.

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Okay, so what do we do?

God doesn’t always take opposition away, brother, because he’s built you to conquer, not to cower. And he’s given you everything you’ll need. Spend time this week reading and meditating upon Ephesians 6:10-17. Write out what the words mean to you, personally, practically.

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RiverOL · Feb 15, 2025

How to Handle Your Child When They Have a Tantrum

During a recent counseling session, Monica, 40, complained about her two-year daughter Abigail, crying too much and being unsure about how to handle her. This is a common concern of parents with young children whom I meet with for counseling.

Monica put it like this, “My husband Kyle and I disagree about what to do when Abbey cries. He thinks we should let her cry it out and I don’t agree. When we do, she just seems more agitated and it escalates. When I comfort her, she calms down quickly.”

In a recent article for the website Motherly, writer Sarah R. Moore provides a roadmap for how to handle your kids when they’re crying — and crying for attention. Many parents can relate to the temper tantrums and trying behavior exhibited by their children, particularly when they’re toddlers. And to be sure, friends, family and frequent online posts about this reality are in a frenzy to give parents advice.

Many young parents find themselves frustrated and searching for solutions when confronted with their children crying, but the conventional wisdom leaves something to be desired. Moore points out that these episodes are often characterized as “attention seeking” behavior, and that too often parents are counseled to ignore these kind of outbursts. However, Moore writes that “it may help to reframe them.”

Moore observes that parents are well served to keep in mind “that if a child is wanting more attention, regardless of the form that takes, it’s because they’re craving connection with their trusted adult—attention-seeking is attachment-seeking.” This behavior is not only “completely developmentally normal,” and “not a reflection of how ‘good’ or ‘bad’ a child is… Rather, it’s a reflection of what behavior their brain is capable of manifesting in that moment.”

When viewed through this more holistic and empathetic prism, a child’s tantrum is more about crying out for connection than crying. Instead of ignoring tantrums, Moore offers three straightforward strategies for avoiding a parenting style that may lead to more intense and frequent tantrums.

First, Moore notes that ignoring a crying child teaches them that “our love is conditional.” Because many kids are not “capable of hearing instruction or correction when they’re acting out.” Further, she suggests that you “connect before you correct,” instead of ignoring negative behavior. Creating a calm, “emotionally grounded” environment is far more productive that turning away during a tantrum.

Next, Moore notes that when “an adult physically or emotionally ignores a child who’s struggling, the child has no model of ways to better handle whatever they’re experiencing that’s causing the negative behavior.”

The bottom line is that children need context for their behavior and to ignore an outburst is to “miss an opportunity to help our kids’ brains grow.” By modeling “emotional regulation” parents can lead by example to teach kids that there are more appropriate ways to express their feelings.

Finally, Moore recognizes that behavior is a form of communication, and that tantrums are simply the expression of a need on the part of the child. She counsels parents to be mindful of that fact that “even when we don’t like the way a child is expressing what he or she wants, the underlying need that they’re trying to convey doesn’t magically go away if we ignore it.” I wholeheartedly agree with this statement and the premise behind it.

With this understanding informing parenting decisions, it’s easy to see that a resolution may be easier to achieve that we think. In summing up this strategy, Moore writes that “whatever it is, if we can find the root cause, it’s much more effective to address that than to pretend it’s not there—we risk sending the message to our child that their needs don’t matter.”

As a result of this advice from Sarah L. Moore, the next time I met with Monica and Kyle for a session, I advised that they follow the steps she advocates rather than allowing her to continue to tantrum and ignore her. Fortunately, they were able to find success with these strategies and Abigail’s tantrums lessened over time.

RiverOL · Feb 16, 2025

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Anatomy of an Adventure

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. . . unless a grain of wheat falls . . . and dies, it remains alone;
but if it dies, it bears much fruit—John 12:24

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When men head off, toward something in the distance, toward something good and worthy—but also into unknown obstacles, detours, deprivations, dangers—those are adventures. We tend to think of them as journeys of ascent, like climbing to a summit. But are they, really? Aren’t adventures actually journeys of descent? And, actually, doesn’t therein lay their power? Our culture teaches that ascending brings us life: ascending in school; our careers; our social standing; in the sizes of our houses and our bank accounts. Our King, Jesus Christ, teaches the opposite. He teaches that we come alive, instead, by descending. And he teaches that we come alive by listening to God, trusting God, and relying on God.

That’s why adventures are so important. On them, we descend voluntarily. We forgo "comfortable" and "secure." We welcome discomfort and danger. We relinquish control—all toward a far off, good and worthy goal. We put ourselves, quite literally, in the hands of God. On adventures, we allow him to teach and shape us, awaken and recharge us.

Jesus’ road to the cross was the ultimate adventure. He set upon something of immeasurable goodness and worth. He faced obstacles, detours, deprivations, dangers. He descended . . . but he didn’t do it so we wouldn’t have to. He descended to show us how. "Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it" (Matthew 10:39).

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Okay, so what do we do?

Adventures are all around—great opportunities to descend into situations that’ll make you apprehensive, that’ll make your heart pound even: walking beside someone who isn’t at all like you, but needs your help nonetheless; confessing to brothers that thing you’ve never confessed to anyone; giving monetarily, until it hurts. Take some time, today—notice the adventures around you. Then, pick one and go.

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RiverOL · Feb 17, 2025

Failure Happens When We Stop Caring

I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills his purpose for me.

Psalm 57:2

Wisdom is found along a path that is strewn with our own sets of fears and insecurities to be faced. We must do the thing we think we cannot do. It’s in the doing that the strength comes.

Paula Rinehart

Earlier this week I saw my dentist and during the examination he pressed his thumb into the side of my neck. Hard. Feel that? Ahhh…yes. That’s the “little ball of hate” and you have to work at diffusing it. He continued, “every day work your hands over this nerve and try to knead out this area and your jaw will feel much better.” Promise.

Working my neck muscles and wearing my bite guard 24/7 appears to be a simple fix. Sounds easy, right? Believe me it’s not.

Fear Of Failure Holds Us Back

Though I’m complying with wearing the bite guard all day (every day) and through the night, I’m finding it much more difficult to locate that “little ball of hate” in my neck. I work my fingers all over my neck muscles but I can’t seem to find the trigger point that my dentist had no problem locating.

Hmmm…reminds me of the trouble I sometimes have trying to locate (and diffuse) what’s really bothering me on the inside of my heart and mind. Deep inside, I frequently have this “little ball of hate” swirling around and it’s set off by…

We Can Serve With God’s Strength

Nasty politics. Irresponsible Journalism. Exploitation of women and children. Media Sensationalism. To name just a few.

In the same way I fumble around looking for the exact nerve that’s causing me physical pain, I struggle to find a way to diffuse my inner frustration with the larger “ills” of the world. I know I can’t change everything, maybe not even a few things, but I can do one thing (a single small choice every single day) to make a difference. Which is why I keep writing letters, keep making phone calls, and keep giving to organizations that “fight the good fight.” Otherwise, I fail, in my eyes and in God’s eyes.

We Are Jesus’ Hands And Feet

Whenever God calls me to act and I turn the other way, I fail to act as His hands, His feet, and His voice in this broken world. I look at it this way. There are injustices in this world that I hate, hate, hate. But unless I’m willing to step out and speak up, that “little ball of hate” against injustice isn’t doing me or anyone else any good. I know the RX isn’t sitting around and feeling angry…it’s doing something. Anything . Any. Little. Thing. Makes a difference. (In the world and inside of me.)

The final word isn’t whether or not I’ve fixed the problem. The final word is that I’ve tried. Fail or not, I’ve stepped out in faith and made the attempt. Failure is never about success.

Humility Can Guard Us Against Fear Of Failing

Failure – the word itself conjures up nasty pictures in our mind. We run from failure like we run from the plague. No one wants to fall on their face in humiliation. And yet, if we’re honest, everyone grows stronger, fitter, by the mistakes we make. We watch children fall and get back up again. Fall and get back up again. Sometimes, they fall so many times it takes an adult to call it quits for a time of recovery. One of the reasons I don’t think small children are much daunted by trying and failing is that their little brains haven’t yet connected the cause/effect principle. To kids, risk is still just a word in a dictionary not a painful memory.

God Will Give Us Courage

For adults, we’re just the opposite as we’ve experienced far too many moments when embarrassment stole our peace in the most awkward and hurtful settings. Stinging memories of having been shamed or shutdown by those we care about (or whose opinions we value) hinder us from risking failure today. Even when the cause is important, too many of us pull back in hesitation when God says move into the fray. Shame on us.

Since most of life entails risk, why not step out in faith on behalf of those who have no voice? Why not move into a tricky situation with the strength God provides and watch Him work wonders? Why not offer our gifts and talents to those who might reject our kindness? Why not? Success or failure is never the issue. It’s all about obedience even when we’re risking that which we most value.

RiverOL · Feb 18, 2025

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Here’s a Little Heresy

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. . . what will it profit a man
if he gains the whole world?—Matthew 16:26

“Life’s not all about success.” Those are fairly heretical words for most of us men—men trying to ascend—men for whom success in careers, success in raising kids, or success in just looking successful have become so important. Planning for success, working for it, worrying about it—they dominate our everyday lives. And, I mean, look around. How could life not be all about success? Well, brother, it’s not. Our King, Jesus Christ, teaches us that it’s not.

“Life is not defined by what you have, even when you have a lot” (Luke 12:15 MSG).

Now, make no mistake, life is partially about success—we’ve got to spend our lives for something, and we should do that something as well as we can. So, we mustn’t forget success entirely. We just can’t make it an ultimate thing. “If you are too obsessed with success, you will forget to live,” wrote Thomas Merton. When we focus all, or even most, of our lives on achieving success, we fall short of the full life Jesus promises in John 10:10. We miss those parts of life we’re meant to devote to the success of others.

How many of us sacrifice huge portions of the lives we’re meant to live—loving wives; spending time with kids; eating meals with families; hanging out with friends; helping people in need—spending too much time on our own success? How many of us are unavailable to those who need us most, whose lives are enriched by us—and who’ll enrich ours, right back?

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Okay, so what do we do?

If you struggle with this, start talking about it. Confess it to friends, to brothers in community. Confess it to God. Repent it too. Tell God you don’t want to be that man anymore. He’ll help you change, if you want to.

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RiverOL · Feb 19, 2025

Spiritual Warfare: How the Enemy Uses Division Against Us

The word “division” has been on my mind a lot lately, and it is something that has upended homes, churches, governments, and quite honestly all known human relationships. Sadly, the enemy is really good at stirring up conflict in the simplest things, and knows the areas that trouble us enough to each take a stand, knowing it will cause division. I believe he has an agenda that first includes isolating us from others, and then steals our focus away from the things of God. Regretfully, his plans work all too well, leaving us navigating the chaos caused by division in our lives.

As these dilemmas weigh on our minds we begin to battle with thoughts like: “What do we do? What do we say? How do we react?” Frankly, the complications that arise when two parties do not agree becomes both time consuming and frustrating, to say the least. I’d be willing to confidently say, that God is not real happy about all the distractions either!

In a world where we are supposed to be a light that leads others to Jesus, division can trip us up along the way! This is especially true when believers are the ones divided.

Let’s Consider the Definitions of Division

I thought it might be important to look up the definition of division, and there are many, but this one caught my attention: “disagreement between two or more groups, typically producing tension or hostility.”

There was also a list of other words to help explain the meaning further. Quite a few of these capture the essence of what’s been on my heart lately. They include: discord, conflict, disunity, rupture, chasm, dispute, and estrangement, and hostility, to name just a few. Sound familiar?

Next, Let’s Consider the Definition of Hostility

Perhaps if you are like me, the word “hostility” (taken from above), can best describe the pent up reactions when division is allowed to grow… “hostile behavior; unfriendliness or opposition.”

Doesn’t sound very Christian like, does it? But wait, there’s more to think about! Here are more words to consider: antagonism, bitterness, malevolence, malice, spite, anger, hatred, aggression, resentment, aversion, fighting, warfare, war.

Whew! those are powerful words! None of which we want to portray to others as representatives of Jesus Christ! Wouldn’t you agree? ~ And we certainly do not want to be on the receiving end of those behaviors from others!

Division Left Unresolved Often Leads to Destruction

Sadly, even when we recognize the problems dividing us, there’s no easy answers for resolution. Simply identifying that problems exist, doesn’t offer up solutions for making them disappear. It’s quite the contrary oftentimes, because the more we ponder the issues, the more disheartened we can become.

As for me personally, “Division Equals Chaos,” no matter the roots.

At some point the focus is not just about who is right, and who is wrong. Instead, it’s likely that the two sides just do not think alike. It’s also quite possible that the division may be a result of personal convictions, and even Biblical ideologies that just do not align. Other times, it may be just plain out stubbornness, because we want what we want. Honestly, we may never truly know the root causes.

Reminding ourselves that God is in control is sometimes the best way to navigate difficult situations! ~ Photo courtesy of the author.

Is it Possible to Agree to Disagree?!

Many of us have heard, and tried, that old adage that says: “Sometimes you have to agree to disagree.” Perhaps we’ve already been there, done that and realized that try as we might, that wasn’t the answer! It’s all quite overwhelming at times!

Typically the issues that divide us are hard to talk about, so attempting to do so, often makes for volatile conversations. We don’t want to argue, so avoidance, seems the better option, but is it really?

Once present in a relationship, the things that divide typically smolder under the surface. Whether spoken or unspoken, we know it’s there. We also know that it’s continually building momentum little by little, waiting for the day, it all finally erupts! The differences refuse to be contained any longer, and like it or not, a battle ensues.

In all likelihood, prior to the eruption, time has been spent doing what I like to describe as “walking on egg shells, or tiptoeing around the dilemma, while grasping for a momentary truce. Pretending to be okay, when we definitely are not!”

Our hearts know this isn’t a healthy choice, but it’s a coping mechanism that we have acquired through the years. It all becomes a habit, like a record on repeat, as we try our darnedest to avoid confrontation, not yet ready for the battle to come.

Our Faith Requires Honesty and Truth: Why Must it be so Difficult?

It’s very likely that we are not being totally honest with ourselves. But, let me clarify that deception isn’t the goal whatsoever!

Avoiding the conflict seems safe to us. Hiding our feelings, somehow becomes the only thing that brings a semblance of peace, and a much needed time-out, which helps us keep functioning in our daily lives.

Simply put, we know we still have things to accomplish on our to-do-lists, and opportunities to enjoy life with others. Busying our minds helps us not have to face the discord bubbling inside, if only for a little while. Trust me I know! I wear myself out, staying busy, to avoid thinking too much!

It’s plausible that our minds convince us that it’s easier to pretend a little longer, urging us to push those feelings aside, while attempting to ignore them all together. But sadly, those efforts are in all likelihood only postponing what is inevitable.

Deep down, we may be wishing we were stronger, ready to face the challenge, but we aren’t. Eventually, we know it will all catch up to us, but because we see no visible resolution in sight, we grab onto this false semblance of peace while hoping that just maybe it won’t explode today!

On a More Personal Note: I Can’t Be the Only One, Right?

Some of the reasons for pondering the things that divide, are too intimate to share in detail, but others, have me thinking that I am not the only one dealing with thoughts like this. Patheos is a way to address difficult things in a community where others may need to know they aren’t the only ones battling things in life.

I would venture to say that most all of us would raise our hands, if asked, and admit that some kind of division exists in our lives. It’s even likely that many of us would be able to share long lists of things that immediately come to mind that are causing conflict daily .

Sometimes, all we can do is “Be Still” and wait for God’s direction or intervention. These are times when faith is defined. Times when trusting God for what we can not see, becomes our hope!

Little reminders are all around me to “Be Still” and spend time alone with God… but it remains difficult to do sometimes! ~ Picture courtesy of the author.

Jesus Warns Us About the Consequences of Division

I am often reminded of the Bible scripture that says, “Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them: “Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall.” Matthew 12:25 (NIV)

The “house” in this parable refers to a “household” or a family living together beneath one roof. Just like a kingdom in civil war will eventually destroy itself, a household that is “divided against itself” will eventually fall.

Satan uses this weapon against us in homes, and outside of them. He’s aiming to destroy God’s kingdom, to obscure truth, and to kill and steal and devour everything he can. See these Bible verses for clarification: John 10:10; 1 Peter 5:8 (NIV)

Admittedly, situations exist where the division is stealing my peace. The weight of these issues often gets too heavy to ignore, and estrangement becomes reality. Nothing good comes from the things that divide.

Closing Thoughts on Struggles with Division

As I close, I’ll confess that this isn’t an article offering answers. Instead, it is one hoping to expose the truth of how dangerous this spiritual battle can be when division runs rampant. It’s an extremely powerful weapon that is challenging to combat.

Let this be your reminder that you have an enemy that is eager to defeat you. Stay vigilant! Stay on guard! Pray that God will intervene in the schemes the enemy has, and do your part to listen to instruction.

Our hope is in Jesus! He makes a way when there seems to be no way!

Pray for me and I’ll pray for you! God’s got plans for our lives and my greatest desire is to be exactly who He created me to be, while sharing Jesus with the world!

RiverOL · Feb 20, 2025

Would God put more on you than you can bear?

Quick Answer: Would God put more on you than you can bear? While many believe that the Bible says God won’t give us more than we can handle, this actually isn’t what Scripture teaches. Sure, God won’t let us be tempted beyond what we can handle (1 Corinthians 10:13). But it is clear that we will encounter circumstances in this world that are beyond what we can bear:

“We were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead” (2 Corinthians 1:8-9). The reason God allows circumstances that are beyond our strength to endure is so that we can learn to depend on the indwelling life of Christ even more.

Diving Deeper: Many interpret 1 Corinthians 10:13 to mean that God will only let a certain amount of trouble enter into our lives. However, the passage is speaking of the temptation to sin, not earthly troubles. God promises to always guide us through temptation. He will never allow us to be tempted beyond what He will empower us to endure.

Still, Planet Earth will constantly come at us, and we are not immune to trouble. After all, we live in a fallen world, not Heaven. Inevitably, we will encounter circumstances in this world that are beyond what we can bear: “We were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead” (2 Corinthians 1:8-9).

As Earth comes at us with flavors of hardship that are indeed beyond what we can bear, God promises to work within us and empower us to endure. But it is His strength, not ours. God promises His divine help in the midst of adversity (Psalm 34: 17-19; Hebrews 13:6). He promises to comfort us even when our circumstances are not changed (1 Peter 5:7). He also promises hope in the new covenant promises given to us through the finished work of Jesus Christ (Hebrews 6:19).

Adversity in life will ultimately act to further reveal Christ within us (2 Corinthians 4:10). This treasure that exists within “jars of clay” (our fragile humanity) is revealed even more when we experience pain. So, God’s promise is not that our circumstances will change. No, God promises something deeper. He promises empowerment by the Spirit of Christ in the midst of all circumstances:

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:12-13)

RiverOL · Feb 21, 2025

5 Steps to Not Taking Things Too Personally in Relationships

While it is natural to feel hurt when a loved one has done something wrong or said something offensive, taking their actions personally can prolong the process of healing and cause people undue misery.

My first experience with taking things too personally in my second marriage was when my husband Craig gave me feedback about my parenting skills. For a few years, I took his comments personally and reacted defensively to his comments.

That said, Craig felt I was too permissive with my three children and needed to set more loving limits with them. For instance, I took on too much responsibility for household chores and didn’t ask them to take more charge of their rooms and help out more. And I gave in too easily when one of them tried to convince me to purchase something they desired (such as football cards or concert tickets).

What I realized eventually was that by taking Craig’s comments personally, I reacted defensively rather than listening and evaluating any truth in them. I was giving up my personal power and allowing myself to be feel resentful. After this realization came to me, our relationship improved and I let Craig influence my parenting. As a result, I can see how by moving out of the victim role, I was able to enjoy more harmonious relationships and my children became more responsible.

In relationships, one of the biggest hurdles couples face is how to approach difficult conversations without getting defensive or trying to prove a point. This leads to an unfortunate pattern of attack and defensiveness where both partners believe they must prove they’re right and must defend their positions. Afterall, it takes two people to contribute to a miscommunication or dispute.

According to Daniel B. Wile, author of After the Fight, if a pattern of attack and defensiveness continues over time, it can dimmish love and respect between partners. Instead, couples can benefit from being influenced by each other and avoiding defensiveness.

For instance, after accepting feedback from Craig about being too permissive with my children, we had fewer disagreements and my kids benefitted from our cooperative approach. Likewise, he became more receptive to my feedback when I expressed frustration about his arriving late from work. He began checking in with me by phone or text, and this lessened my unnecessary worry about his safety on his long commute home.

5 Steps to Not Taking Things Too Personally in Relationships:

Accept that you and your partner will make mistakes and it is a given that you will need to recover from them by accepting each other’s influence, and apologizing and granting forgiveness.
Let go of any preconceived notions that someone has to be to blame for a miscommunication, argument, or a setback in your family or marriage.
Show your partner by word and deed that you are willing to learn by your mistakes and that you are interested in being vulnerable and sharing your thoughts, feelings, and desires without judgment, disrespect, or malice.
Practice both offering an apology and accepting one from your partner. It may feel unnatural if you are not accustomed to it, but you will feel more comfortable over time.
Rather than getting defensive and trying to prove you’re right, be open to feedback from your partner and seek to listen more carefully to their comments rather than focusing on proving a point.

In the end, as with so many of the negative patterns that grow out of a couples’ ineffective communication styles, overcoming defensiveness is possible by bringing a sense of awareness and learning simple tools to relationship success.

Remember: we’re human, we all make mistakes, and intention is important. Commitment to changing the destructive dynamics of defensiveness and not taking things personally can help your love grow and will serve to strengthen the bonds that bring you closer.

By adopting a mindset of not taking things personally when your partner gives you feedback, the quality of your interactions will improve over time. You will be choosing to live a life based on trust and you won’t be dominated by anger, bitterness, and resentment.

RiverOL · Feb 22, 2025

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No, Actually, We Must Choose

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And he said to them, “Follow me”—Matthew 4:19

We confront two mutually exclusive, diametrically opposed if-then statements, each claiming to be true. The first is from the enemy and goes like this: if we chase created things—wealth, status, sex—then our lives will be more full, then we’ll have more peace, joy, security, freedom, fulfillment, significance. The second is from God: if we chase him, our Creator—if we listen to him, if we surrender, if we love, if we serve—our lives will be more full then, we’ll have more peace, joy, security, freedom, fulfillment, significance then.

The simple question before us, therefore, is which statement we’ll believe and adopt and follow in faith. But, before we can answer, we’ve got to get serious. We’ve got to stop playing around, trying to convince ourselves the statements are not actually mutually exclusive and not actually diametrically opposed. We’ve got to stop trying to convince ourselves we can believe both statements at once, that we can prioritize both created things and the Creator—and that it’ll be okay if we try. We can’t and it’s not.

“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other” (Matthew 6:24).

We must choose. And, it’s a real choice between good and evil. For, while God uses his if-then statement to invite us into “more and better life” than we could “ever dreamed of,” the enemy uses his to “steal and kill and destroy” (John 10:6-10 MSG).

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Okay, so what do we do?

Spend some time searching for, and meditating upon, those places in the Bible where God offers if-then statements. There are so many. Do any come to mind, right now? Focus most on his promises that, for you, stand out from the rest.

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RiverOL · Feb 23, 2025

God Is Just as Good When He Doesn’t Do What We Want

There is a great phrase many say: “God is good.“ That is certainly true and an appropriate thing to proclaim. However, many of us say it routinely only when life goes our way. “Traffic was easy today, I made all the lights, and I wasn’t late for work or class—God is good!” When we hear that God has healed someone, inevitably someone says, “God is good.“ True enough.

But when God chose not to answer our prayers for my wife Nanci‘s healing after 4 1/2 years of almost never missing our evening prayer time, does that mean God was, in our case, not good? Of course not. God is not only good when He does what we want, but also when He doesn’t do what we want. This is when people who lose their faith are right in losing it, because they are losing a faith that is not a true biblical faith.

As long as we hold on to vestiges of prosperity theology (which teaches that God will bless with material abundance and good health those who obey Him and lay claim to His promises), we set ourselves up to lose our faith, and perhaps ultimately to walk away from God. Because if God has to do what we want in order for us to be happy, then He is not our master but our servant.

I believe prosperity theology is from the pit of Hell. It confuses and misleads people about God and what He has and has not promised. When my friend Greg was dying when I was 16 years old and he was 18, I thought I knew beyond any shadow of doubt that God would heal Him. I claimed the reality of that healing, fully expecting it. When he died, I learned the painful lesson that we do not necessarily get our way when we pray.

It doesn’t mean God does not answer prayer; it doesn’t mean that God is not honored by our prayers. It certainly does mean that we need to be careful when we claim Christ has promised things, because when we proclaim false promises, we misrepresent Him, undermine His truths, and distort the reality of how He loves His people.

Vaneetha Rendall Risner writes:

Why does God answer yes to some prayers and no to others?

Why does God miraculously heal some people and not others?

Why does disaster strike one city and not another?

Can we simply draw straight lines between our requests and God’s answers?

Years ago my infant son Paul died unexpectedly and an acquaintance said when he learned of our loss, “Don’t take this wrong, but we prayed for all of our children before they were born. And they were all born healthy.” We had no words.

In Acts 12, James was killed and Peter rescued and I wondered why God let James die and Peter live. Did God love Peter more than James? Was James’s life less important? Were people not praying for James?

Looking at the fuller counsel of the Bible, we know God has plans that we do not understand. Living or dying, being spared or being tortured, being delivered in this life or the next is not an indicator of God’s love for us or the measure of our faith. Nothing can separate us from God’s love, and our future is determined by what he knows is best for us.

Still, prosperity gospel proponents have told me that if I had prayed in faith, my body would have been healed, my son would have been spared, and my marriage would have been restored. It was all up to me. If I just had the faith, I would have had a better outcome. Their words have left me bruised and disillusioned, but that theology is not the gospel. God’s response to our prayers is not dependent upon our worthiness but rather rests on his great mercy.

If you are in Christ, God is completely for you. Your struggles are not because you didn’t pray the right way, or because you didn’t pray enough, or because you have weak faith or insufficient intercessors. It is because God is using your suffering in ways that you may not understand now, but one day you will. One day you will see how God used your affliction to prepare you for an incomparable weight of glory. This is the gospel. And it holds for all who love Christ.

Job 2:10 says, “Should we receive good from God and not trouble?” If we believe God is distant and not involved in the details of our lives—or at least not the bad details of our lives, but only the good ones—or if we come to believe, contrary to His Word, that God lacks power, we believe fundamental falsehoods. Likewise, if we believe He lacks knowledge and our loved one died simply because of someone’s negligence and therefore their death was not the will of God, then we are in a bad place. The grief process must include eventually accepting what has happened. Holding false beliefs about God will prevent us from that acceptance.

We must embrace both God’s love AND His sovereignty—not one instead of the other. If you only embrace His love, you will be confused and hurt when life gets hard. If you only embrace His sovereignty, you will resign yourself to thinking your life is driven by a cruel, impersonal, and distant God, and you’ll forget His plan to work in your best interests. “Yahweh is good to all, and His compassions are over all His works” (Psalm 145:9, LSB).

RiverOL · Feb 24, 2025

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He Calls Us Still

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. . . for all have sinned
and fall short of the glory of God—Romans 3:23

As his men, we’re called to be like Jesus. We’re commanded to love just like he does (John 13:34-35). That’s a tall order. It’s easy to feel less-than-qualified, what with all our faults and bad choices, both intentional and unintentional. In fact, it’s easy to feel totally disqualified. Our mistakes—we carry their shame, we try to forget them. But we can’t forget. So we hide them instead, hoping, at least, to appear qualified. But they’re always there. And the thing is, when everyone else is hiding their mistakes too, it can feel like we’re the only ones with failings. So, not only do we feel disqualified, we can also feel separate.

But our mistakes don’t separate us from everyone else. They actually connect us. Whether we admit them or not, they’re one thing we all share (Romans 3:23). Our mistakes make us human. They also don’t disqualify us from the call to love like Jesus. You see, Jesus knows our mistakes; we can’t hide them from him. And yet he calls us still. We must confess and repent the mistakes we’ve made—and try to make fewer going forward—but Jesus doesn’t give up on us because of our mistakes (Mark 2:17). And, in fact, our mistakes (and the darkness that follows) can actually prepare us for his call. They can prepare us to love. They can teach us compassion and humility. They can also give us the authority to speak, as men who’ve been through darkness and pain, and who’ve returned.

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Okay, so what do we do?

Make a list. Write down mistakes you’ve made. Pray over them. Consider how you’ve grown from them. Consider how God might be redeeming them—how they might have actually prepared you to love and help those people for whom your heart moves.

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RiverOL · Feb 25, 2025

We Reflect Jesus When We Forgive

Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.

Luke 9: 23, 24

Taking up crosses daily doesn’t mean making one big once-and-for-all sacrifice and get it over with. It means repeatedly, over and over again, day after day and year after year, saying no to present desires and plans in order to say yes to God and others.

Dean woke up the Father’s Day morning so grateful that God had answered his prayers to bring his stepson Kyle back into his life. After the death of his wife, Annie, who passed away two years earlier after a long battle with a defective heart, Dean had tried to draw Kyle back into his life. Dean had raised Kyle from five-years-old and was the only father his stepson had known since Kyle’s birth father had been absent six months after he was born.

Families Forgive One Another

When Dean and Annie met at church when Kyle was just turning five, it didn’t take long for them to create a family. For Dean, it was idyllic. He loved Annie and he loved Kyle as if he was his own son. Dean was Kyle’s Boys Brigade leader and he took Kyle fishing in the summer months and snow skiing in the winter. They did everything together. In fact, the two even looked alike! His marriage to Annie and his stepson made Dean one happy and fulfilled man.

All had been well until Annie began developing serious heart problems which escalated over the years. Undergoing numerous operations to correct her failing heart, Annie and Dean finally faced the fact that she wouldn’t live to see Kyle grow to manhood. Kyle, by this time, was a teenager and the more he watched his mom grow sicker and weaker by the month, he began to distance himself from both Dean and Annie. It was heartbreaking for his parents because try as they might to reach him, Kyle became both rebellious and shut off emotionally. Nothing they tried worked to break through his cold, angry demeanor.

Forgiveness Doesn’t Have An End Date

A week before Kyle’s eighteenth birthday, Annie passed away in her sleep. Dean awoke in the morning and found his beloved wife gone. Rousing Kyle and delivering the news was the hardest task Dean ever had undertaken. Kyle stormed from the house and was absent for three days almost missing his mom’s funeral. After the goodbyes were said and everyone went home, Dean tried again to reach into Kyle’s grieving heart by assuring him of his love. Kyle didn’t say much but the next morning he had gone.

Dean did everything possible to locate his missing son in the weeks and months that followed. Finally, after every search was executed but came up with nothing, police told Dean there was nothing more they could do. So Dean tried to rebuild his shattered life without his wife Annie and his son by his side. Day after day, Dean cried out to the Lord and begged him to bring Kyle home. And while the authorities gave up looking for Kyle, Dean never did. His father’s heart would never stopping searching for his wayward son.

Forgiveness Never Gives Up

Some twenty months later, without any prior warning or announcement, Kyle came home. Dean answered the front door and was so stunned and shocked he thought his own heart would stopping beating at the sight of Kyle standing there. Reaching out toward Kyle, Dean pulled his son in close and wouldn’t let go. Throughout the evening, the two alternately wept and talked into late into the night. Repentant and sorrowful for his unloving behavior, Kyle asked for Dean’s forgiveness which Dean happily gave. That night, the night before Father’s Day, the day Dean had been dreading, God had mercifully answered this hurting father’s prayer and oh what a day of rejoicing it would be!

* * *

Oh what a day of rejoicing it was for both Dean and Kyle. Dean and Kyle spent the entire day together first grilling steaks with all the sides and then consumed a quart of ice cream afterward. Secretly, Dean observed how thin Kyle had become and he was determined to put some weight back on his once athletic son. They made plans together for getting Kyle into an apprentice program he had talked about while still in high school. They even planned to take a trip up into the mountains to camp and fish before the summer was out.

Forgiveness Offers Mercy And Compassion

But the most important subjects of their conversation on those early days was that of unpacking and trying to understand why Kyle felt compelled to run away after his mom died. Dean wisely listened a lot and said little as he tried to comprehend his son’s reasons. Dean’s thoughts fluctuated between heartfelt gratitude that Kyle was now home and a growing sense of what-were-you-thinking sentiments as well.

Dean often privately reflected on how he would react if Kyle ever did return home and he responded with kindness and compassion. But now, after the shock of Kyle’s homecoming was fading, Dean knew he had to keep any bitterness or resentment at the suffering Kyle caused at bay…so he silently prayed.

Lord, Thank you for bringing my son home to me. And now please help me to love him and to continue to invest in our relationship. Don’t allow any anger or bitterness to take root in my heart. My life is yours, it always has been. Let me live it for your glory one day at a time. Amen. And Dean lived up to this prayer…one day at a time.

In step

Alfrescian

We Are Always Dependent Upon God​

Bible Characters Are No Different Than Us​

Pray With Great Expectation​

We Pray Then We Get To Work​

God Gives Us the Strength To Serve​

We Are Always Dependent Upon God​

Alfrescian

Alfrescian

Alfrescian

From Hurry to Holiness: Living Unhurried in a Rushed World​

We live in a hurried culture.​

The scriptures call for an unhurried way of living.​

Jesus modeled an unhurried way of living.​

We are also called to an unhurried way of conversation.​

The benefits of an unhurried way of living.​

Closing Thoughts​

Alfrescian

Does Belief in God’s Sovereignty Mean We Must Be Fatalists?​

Alfrescian

Whatcha Gonna Do With Those Stones?​

​

Whatcha Gonna Do With Those Stones, Hon? ​

Whatcha gonna do with those stones? ​

Build an altar?​

Whatcha gonna do with those stones? ​

Fight an enemy?​

Whatcha gonna do with those stones? ​

Teach a lesson?​

A lot can happen with a pile of stones.​

Alfrescian

Consider Reading the Bible Chronologically This Year​

Alfrescian

What does John the Baptist mean by, “Disciple of Jesus.”​

Alfrescian

Alfrescian

How to Handle Your Child When They Have a Tantrum​

Alfrescian

Alfrescian

Failure Happens When We Stop Caring​

Fear Of Failure Holds Us Back​

We Can Serve With God’s Strength​

We Are Jesus’ Hands And Feet​

Humility Can Guard Us Against Fear Of Failing​

God Will Give Us Courage​

Alfrescian

Alfrescian

Spiritual Warfare: How the Enemy Uses Division Against Us​

In a world where we are supposed to be a light that leads others to Jesus, division can trip us up along the way! This is especially true when believers are the ones divided.​

Let’s Consider the Definitions of Division​

Next, Let’s Consider the Definition of Hostility​

Whew! those are powerful words! None of which we want to portray to others as representatives of Jesus Christ! Wouldn’t you agree? ~ And we certainly do not want to be on the receiving end of those behaviors from others!​

Division Left Unresolved Often Leads to Destruction​

Is it Possible to Agree to Disagree?!​

Our Faith Requires Honesty and Truth: Why Must it be so Difficult?​

On a More Personal Note: I Can’t Be the Only One, Right?​

Jesus Warns Us About the Consequences of Division​

I am often reminded of the Bible scripture that says, “Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them: “Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall.” Matthew 12:25 (NIV)​

Closing Thoughts on Struggles with Division​

Alfrescian

Would God put more on you than you can bear?​

Alfrescian

5 Steps to Not Taking Things Too Personally in Relationships​

Alfrescian

Alfrescian

God Is Just as Good When He Doesn’t Do What We Want​

Alfrescian

Alfrescian

We Reflect Jesus When We Forgive​

Families Forgive One Another​

Forgiveness Doesn’t Have An End Date​

Forgiveness Never Gives Up​

Forgiveness Offers Mercy And Compassion​

Similar threads

We Are Always Dependent Upon God

Bible Characters Are No Different Than Us

Pray With Great Expectation

We Pray Then We Get To Work

God Gives Us the Strength To Serve

We Are Always Dependent Upon God

From Hurry to Holiness: Living Unhurried in a Rushed World

We live in a hurried culture.

The scriptures call for an unhurried way of living.

Jesus modeled an unhurried way of living.

We are also called to an unhurried way of conversation.

The benefits of an unhurried way of living.

Closing Thoughts

Does Belief in God’s Sovereignty Mean We Must Be Fatalists?

Whatcha Gonna Do With Those Stones?

Whatcha Gonna Do With Those Stones, Hon?

Whatcha gonna do with those stones?

Build an altar?

Whatcha gonna do with those stones?

Fight an enemy?

Whatcha gonna do with those stones?

Teach a lesson?

A lot can happen with a pile of stones.

Consider Reading the Bible Chronologically This Year

What does John the Baptist mean by, “Disciple of Jesus.”

How to Handle Your Child When They Have a Tantrum

Failure Happens When We Stop Caring

Fear Of Failure Holds Us Back

We Can Serve With God’s Strength

We Are Jesus’ Hands And Feet

Humility Can Guard Us Against Fear Of Failing

God Will Give Us Courage

Spiritual Warfare: How the Enemy Uses Division Against Us

In a world where we are supposed to be a light that leads others to Jesus, division can trip us up along the way! This is especially true when believers are the ones divided.

Let’s Consider the Definitions of Division

Next, Let’s Consider the Definition of Hostility

Whew! those are powerful words! None of which we want to portray to others as representatives of Jesus Christ! Wouldn’t you agree? ~ And we certainly do not want to be on the receiving end of those behaviors from others!

Division Left Unresolved Often Leads to Destruction

Is it Possible to Agree to Disagree?!

Our Faith Requires Honesty and Truth: Why Must it be so Difficult?

On a More Personal Note: I Can’t Be the Only One, Right?

Jesus Warns Us About the Consequences of Division

I am often reminded of the Bible scripture that says, “Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them: “Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall.” Matthew 12:25 (NIV)

Closing Thoughts on Struggles with Division

Would God put more on you than you can bear?

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Forgiveness Doesn’t Have An End Date

Forgiveness Never Gives Up

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