In step

[RiverOL]

Real Men Get Sleep

. . . for I am fearfully and wonderfully made—Psalm 139:14

Our physical frames matter. People see God in and through them. We have spiritual natures, yes, but our physical frames give our spiritual selves home. They also give home to God the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 3:16-17). From an eternal perspective, they’re temporary. But our actions here and now affect our eternities—and we act, here and now, through our physical frames. Spiritual discipline matters more, but physical discipline and physical condition still matter (1 Timothy 4:7-8).

The prevailing culture of this world tells us men our jobs should be our utmost priority—physical care is good, but must be disregarded when and if it interferes with workplace ascent. “Get it done.” “Do whatever it takes.” “Man up.” To these codes we sacrifice our physical selves, and especially our sleep. We stay late at the office; work late at home; live in hotels, on airplanes. But, this is not what our Father God intends:

“It is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep” (Psalm 127:2).

God blesses his sons with (and in) sleep. It’s a time to restore and heal; to relinquish worry and stress; to, quite literally, leave everything to him. We should appreciate it fully, be thankful for it, accept it wholeheartedly. We’ve all felt the results when we don’t: racing hearts; pounding heads; clouded thoughts; a lack of productivity, creativity, patience; a compromised resistance to sin. We are never the husbands, fathers, friends, bosses, employees we must be, when we sacrifice sleep.

Fight for sleep. The struggle is hard, but worthy. Minimizing it is neither responsible, nor manly. We’re designed for sleep. You know how much—but, how much are you actually getting?

 

[RiverOL]

Turning tests into testimonies
For reading & meditation - Luke 21
"It will lead to an opportunity for your testimony." (v. 13, NASB)
We look now at the third step in the process of dealing with unmerited suffering: don't spend too much time trying to understand the reason for suffering - focus rather on how you can deal with it. Notice, Jesus spent very little time trying to explain human suffering, much less explain it away. Had He undertaken to explain it, then His gospel would have become a philosophy - in which case it would not have been a gospel.

A philosophy undertakes to explain everything, and then leaves everything as it was. Jesus undertook to explain little, but He changed everything He touched. He did not come to bring a philosophy, but a fact. What was that fact? The fact was His own method of meeting suffering and transforming it into something higher. Out of this fact, we put together our philosophy - a system of principles and procedures by which we live out our life in this world.

Notice that fact comes first, and then the philosophy about the fact. The good news is not merely "good news"; it is the fact of sin and suffering being met and overcome, and a way of life blazed out through them. The fourth step is this: remind yourself that in God's universe, He allows only what He can use. In the passage before us today, Jesus gives the nine sources from which suffering comes upon us: confused religionists (false Christs), wars and conflicts in society, calamities in nature, and so on.

Then He says this: "It will lead to an opportunity for your testimony." In other words, you are not to escape trouble, nor merely bear it as the will of God - you are to use it.

Prayer:
Blessed Lord Jesus, You who used Your suffering to beautify everything You did, teach me the art of turning every test into a testimony and every tragedy into a triumph. For Your own dear Name's sake. Amen

​

 

[RiverOL]

Walking on Water

"By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going."1

Don't you just love the title of the book by John Ortberg: If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat. It's one of those titles that I wish I had thought of myself.

I suppose most of us like to stay close to the shore in shallow waters, safely within our comfort zone. However, if we are going to invest our life and our God-given talents in a worthy and noble cause, and grow to reach our full potential, at some point we are going to need to launch out into the deep of the unknown—out of our comfort zone—or as John Ortberg put it, get out of the boat and walk on the water. He's talking about exercising faith, of course, and stretching beyond our comfort zone and known limits.

Sure it's scary, but unless we are willing to risk failure, we will never learn how to walk on water.

New Horizons

Unless you are willing
to launch out far from
sight of the shore
into the deep beyond
your present comfort zone,
you will never know
what you are capable
of doing or becoming,
nor will you ever discover
the new horizons
and greater dreams
your heart
is yearning for.



Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please give me the vision to see what my God-given life purpose is, and the faith and courage to launch out into the deep to become all that you have envisioned for me to be, and to do what you plan for me to do. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

 

[RiverOL]

Gold and Silver...
For reading & meditation - Mark 1:14-28
"After John was put in prison, Jesus went into Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God." (v.14)

Yesterday we looked at the final answer to dealing with unmerited suffering: reminding ourselves that in God's universe, He only allows what He can use. Look again at the words of our text for today: "After John was put in prison, Jesus went into Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God." After the finest and truest of prophets had been put in prison and his preaching silenced by a wicked and unjust king, Jesus came preaching the good news about God.

How could there be good news about the God who had allowed such a thing to happen? But that is exactly what Jesus did proclaim - and proclaimed unashamedly. And why? Because Jesus knew that everything God allowed, He would use. By His action, He rejected the idea that a man like John should be exempt from suffering, and that God isn't good when He permits such things to happen. Can you see now why God allows us to go through suffering?

He does it so that, in the fires of affliction, we learn the secret of an alchemy which transmutes the base metal of injustice, and consequent suffering into the gold of character and the silver of God's purposes. In one place in the New Testament, Jesus refers to being "perfected" by His death on the cross (Luke 13:32, AV). Just think of it: the worst thing that can happen to a man - crucifixion - turns out to be the best that can happen to Him - perfection. This is the attitude we must cultivate if we are not only to face, but use suffering.

Prayer:
O my Father, how can I ever sufficiently thank You for showing me this way of life? Nothing stops it - permanently. When men and circumstances concentrate on doing their worst - You bring out of it Your best. I see, I follow, and I am unafraid. Amen.

 

[RiverOL]

Danger is Your Business

What can mere mortals do?—Psalm 56:4

Our King, Jesus Christ, calls us to a new kind of life, his kind of life. “Follow me” is quoted more than fifteen times in the Gospels. Following him, however, goes against prevailing culture—for which safety and security are utmost priorities. The kind of life to which Jesus calls us is not safe, nor secure. Here’s a report from a man, the Apostle Paul, who lived it:

“Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure” (2 Corinthians 11:24-27).

God didn’t design Paul for safe or secure; nor did he us. We’re all designed for big, dangerous lives: “. . . for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7).

Insert your name into 2 Timothy 1:7:
“. . . for God gave [ . . . you . . . ] a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
Read it through again. Now, fast-forward to the end of your life, imagine friends and family saying that of you: “He was fearless. He had power and love and self-control.” What do you need to begin now, to ensure those words then? What bold changes will you make? Remember, your days are numbered (Psalm 90:12). Commit, brother, to make at least one change this week.

 

[RiverOL]

Never Soar as High Again?
For reading & meditation - 1 Peter 1:3-9
""These have come so that your faith ... may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."" (v. 7)

We turn now to examine some of the ways in which our lives become fractured, and what we can do to become ""strong at the broken places."" We begin by looking at the brokenness which comes about through failure. Probably someone reading these words is caught up in a vortex of gloom due to a failure. You may be feeling like the man who said to me: ""I am stunned by my failure.

My life is shattered into smithereens. I read somewhere that 'the bird with the broken wing will never soar as high again.' Does that mean I can never rise to the heights in God which once I knew?"" I reminded him of Simon Peter - a man with one of the worst track records in the New Testament. He was prejudiced, bigoted, stubborn, and spiritually insensitive. Again and again he got his wires crossed, such as the time when he attempted to divert Christ from going to His death in Jerusalem (Matt. 16:22), or his insistence that they should stay on the Mount of Transfiguration (Matt. 17:4).

Then, on the eve of Christ's crucifixion, he denied and even cursed his Lord. I can imagine Satan whispering in his ear: ""Now you're finished. Burned out. A failure. You'll be forgotten ... replaced."" But by God's grace, Peter rose from failure to success. He became ""strong at the broken places."" Because he refused to live in the shadow of his bad track record, his two letters are enshrined forever in the Scriptures. Failures, you see, are only temporary tests to prepare us for more permanent triumphs.

Prayer:
O Father, I see so clearly that no failure is a failure if it succeeds in driving me to Your side. All things serve me - when I serve You. Amen.

 

[RiverOL]

Failed Marriage and Recovery

Jesus said, "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."1

As I have said before, in working with divorced people over the years I have found that far too many divorcees are adept at primarily blaming their partner for the failure of their marriage. Most fail to see what they contributed to the breakup. I once did too.

Before marriage, many of us prayed that we would find the right partner when what we needed to pray was that we would be the right person. As much as many hate the following statement: we are as sick as the people we are attracted to—especially romantically. For those who want a more positive statement we could put it this way: we are as healthy as the people we are attracted to. In other words, if we want to have a healthy and mature marriage, we need to be a healthy and mature person.

I learned this the hard way because my first marriage was a disaster. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family and, as a teen, being the only son with three sisters, I was set up to play the role of the emotionally missing father/husband in the home. My mother leaned on me emotionally; and as a teen I took a lot of care of my two younger sisters as well as much of the family home. In so doing I learned to mistake need for love.

When thinking of marriage, what kind of person was I attracted to? Yes, you guessed it—someone who unconsciously needed to be taken care of. At the time I didn't realize that I was a super-codependent caretaker person and that the person I was attracted to was a needy over-dependent person. So which of the two of us was the sicker? We were as sick as each other and equally immature. I just happened to be the functional one. Tragically, we lived together alone apart and died a little every day. After 18 years of therapy, and every counselor having given up on us, I finally gave up. (As a side line, after our marriage ended, my cholesterol level dropped 80 points almost overnight. Stress is a killer! And what is more stressful than impaired and failed relationships?)

Romantically we are pretty much attracted to a person with whom our neuroses mesh. Or as a counselor of mine used to day, "The bumps on my head matched the holes in her head." How true this is. In fact, we can tell a whole lot about ourselves by the kind of person/s we are romantically attracted to.

So when did I get to see my major part in my failed marriage? After years of therapy and our situation continuing to deteriorate, I was at wits end and literally begged God to face me with the truth of what I was still contributing to the mess my marriage was in. Almost overnight, even though I had never heard of the word back then, I saw my super codependency and realized that as long as I was taking care of my then wife, not only was she not getting better, but she was becoming increasingly non-functional. Because I was taking care of her, she didn't have to get better. My codependency was in the way.

Indeed, it was this truth that set me free from my blindness.

In many ways the codependent is addicted to the over-dependent person. It's the same with a co-alcoholic. As long as a wife (or vice-versa) is taking care of her alcoholic husband and rescuing him from the results of his avoided responsibilities, she is an equal part of his sickness and needs to get out of the way and let him crash. This will not guarantee his getting into recovery, but without her doing this, there is little chance of his ever facing reality and accepting responsibility for his own recovery. Codependents need to do likewise in that they need to stop doing anything that the over-dependent person is capable of doing for him or herself.

On a more positive note, if there is any depth and quality in my ministry today it came out of many years of struggle in a very dysfunctional marriage which challenged me to face reality and get into recovery for myself. I am thankful for my education, but I didn't learn about life in Sunday school, church, Bible College, undergraduate college or in graduate school. As the old saying goes, I learned about life in the "College of Hard Knocks." My failures and recovery process also taught me to encourage others when they experience failure, not to waste their pain, but to invest it wisely in their own growth and recovery, and then in ministering to others. Failure can be an invaluable teacher when invested wisely.

I was severely criticized and lost all of my church support after I was divorced more than twenty years ago. Yes, it is true, God hates divorce—but who in his or her right mind doesn't do the same? Divorce is incredibly painful. I certainly don't believe in easy divorce and firmly believe that divorce should only ever be the last resort when all else fails. But like David of old, God didn't reject him after his failures, and I am extremely grateful that God didn't reject me either after my failures.

I share my story not to gain sympathy (because my life today has never been more fulfilling or more productive) but to emphasize the fact that, especially in our churches and Christian circles, let's not preach about the sin of divorce and treat divorcees as second-class citizens unless we teach and emphasize the tremendous need for helping our young adults understand the dynamics of relationships. We also need to point out the pitfalls of attraction that is neurotic, and help them become mature and healthy emotionally before ever looking for a marriage partner. Until we deal with the major causes behind failed relationships and marriages, we will continue to see a never-ending flow of "over the cliff" divorces. In other words we need "to build a fence at the top of the cliff before building a hospital at the bottom."

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you for your Word that teaches us that it is the truth that sets us free. Please help me to understand not only the truth about you and your Word, but also the truth about myself, others, and the dynamics of relationships. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus" name, amen."

 

[RiverOL]

How Do You Respond?
|For reading & meditation - Hebrews 12:4-15
"Be careful that none of you fails to respond to the grace which God gives, for if he does there can ... spring up in him a bitter spirit ..."" (v. 15, J. B. Phillips)

Today we must examine an issue that may be extremely challenging to us Christians, but we must face it nevertheless. Why is it that many non-Christians, though broken by life, succeed in becoming ""strong at the broken places,"" while many Christians go through similar experiences and come out crippled and bitter? A few years ago I watched a television program in the United States in which a famous Jew, Victor Frankl, talked about his experiences in a concentration camp in Nazi Germany. When he was brought before the Gestapo, they stripped him naked and then, noticing that he was still wearing his gold wedding ring, one of the soldiers said, ""Give it to me.""

As he removed his ring, this thought went through his mind: ""They can take my ring, but there is one thing nobody can take from me - my freedom to choose how I will respond to what happens to me."" On the strength of that, he not only survived the Holocaust, but also developed his whole psychiatric system called Logotherapy, which states that ""when you find meaning in everything, then you can face anything."" Frankl, a non-Christian, survived the horrors of the Holocaust because he was sustained by an inner conviction that he would come through it, and be able to use the suffering to good effect. His system of Logotherapy is now being used to help thousands who have mental and emotional problems. If a non-Christian, bereft of redemptive grace, can respond to life in this way, then how much more those of us who claim to be His children?

Prayer:
O Father, whenever You corner me like this, You know my tendency to wriggle and try to get off the hook. Help me to face this issue and take my medicine, however bitter it tastes. For Jesus' sake. Amen.

 

[RiverOL]

What’s the Bold Move?

The Lord is on my side; I will not fear—Psalm 118:6

“What’s the bold move?” It’s a question that should be asked often, in one form or another, when men gather in Christian community. It’s a question that challenges us to press our intellectual understanding of the truth of our King, Jesus Christ, into clear, practical action. It dares us to form Gospel words into living, breathing reality.

“What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? . . . Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works” (James 2:14, 18).

When we men move boldly in faith it demonstrates—with our actions, with our lives—that we do indeed trust Jesus. It confirms that we’ll actually live our lives like we trust him. Maybe it’s finally deciding to draw clear work/home boundaries, despite ambition or difficulty; maybe it’s confessing some sin, despite embarrassment or awkwardness; maybe it’s giving money or time, despite greed or inconvenience; maybe it’s sharing our faith, despite discomfort or fear; or maybe it’s something else entirely. For each of us, there comes a time when we just must take action, must take risk. There comes a time when our faith mandates that action and risk are the only real options. And that’s when things begin to happen—big, breathtaking things—not because we seek them out necessarily, but because they’re the byproduct of lives that reflect faith.

How might you live out your faith with a bold move? Choose something simple, near-term (i.e., this week), and achievable. If you’re in community with other men (and you should be), formulate your bold moves together, customized to each individual and circumstance. Then, keep one another accountable for executing them. This is one way communities of men must work.

 

[RiverOL]

Keeping Quiet
Morning Encounter:

Read:
It’s stupid to say bad things about your neighbours. If you are sensible, you will keep quiet. A gossip tells everything, but a true friend will keep a secret.
(Proverbs 11.12-13)

Reflect:
The book of Proverbs is part of a genre of ‘wisdom’ literature that includes (the less cheerful!) Job & Ecclesiastes. It is generally a book of encouragement, based on the idea that God’s ways are superior to ours and that in following his ways we will find wisdom, contentment and blessing. In a chapter on right behaviour, the author encourages us towards silence – not just on our own, but also in the company of others. Controlling our tongue maybe one of life’s greatest challenges - ill spoken words are often the source of disputes, bad relationships and regrets. Be aware today of when it might be better to practice silence in your relationships.

Respond:
Ask the Holy Spirit to help you not to speak of anybody in negative ways. If you are around people who start to gossip, then choose not to get involved – walk away or if appropriate find ways to speak positively about people you know.

Midday Meditation:
'Our greatest temptation is toward too many words. They weaken our faith and make us lukewarm. But silence is a sacred discipline, a guard of the Holy Spirit.'
(Henri Nouwen The Way of the Heart)

Evening Reflection:
This evening, why not be still and silent for a period of time. If it helps with focus, you might like to light a candle or watch a log fire burn as you reflect on your day.
Only God gives inward peace, and I depend on him.
God alone is the mighty rock that keeps me safe, and he is the fortress where I feel secure.
God saves me and honours me.
He is that mighty rock where I find safety.
(From Psalm 62)

 

[RiverOL]

Are Christians Exempt?
For reading & meditation - Matthew 5:38-48
""... He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous."" (v. 45)

We are meditating on the theme, ""Strong at the broken places,"" and we are discovering that although life deals blows to us all, those who meet life with the right responses and the right inner attitudes are those who turn their weaknesses into strengths. I know some Christians who believe that they ought to be exempt from the cruel blows of life. A young man who was stunned after failing his examination said, ""I cannot understand. I prayed very hard before the examination, and I lived an exemplary life for the Lord.

Why, oh why, should He fail me at this important moment?"" Later he confessed to a friend, ""As a result of God letting me down, my faith in Him has been shattered."" I can sympathize with the young man's feelings, of course, but I cannot agree with his conclusions. Suppose prayer alone could enable us to pass examinations - what would happen? Prior to examination time, classrooms would be deserted, and everyone would flock to the churches for prayer and meditation. Not a bad situation, you might think. But what would happen to the minds of young people if prayer alone brought success?

They would become blunted by lack of study. I suspect the young man I have just referred to was depending more on prayer than on diligent and painstaking study. Now prayer and study make a good combination, but prayer without study never helped anyone pass an examination. Christians are not exempt from the natural laws that govern the universe. We may through prayer be able to overcome them, but we are not able to avoid them.

Prayer:
Father, thank You for reminding me that even though I am a Christian, I am still governed by natural laws that apply equally to everyone. I cannot be exempt, but through You I can overcome. I am so grateful. Amen

 

[RiverOL]

Characteristics of Maturity, Part I

If I were asked, "How can you tell if a person is mature?" I would respond by saying, "If a person consistently acts in a mature manner, he would be a mature person. However, if on the other hand he consistently acts in an immature manner, you can be certain that he would be an immature person." As Aristotle said, "We are what we repeatedly do."

While none of us is perfect or completely mature, if we understand the characteristics of maturity, we can work on these areas to grow in maturity. While there are many characteristics, the following certainly would be among the top five:

Emotional maturity. While spiritual maturity is reflected in the quality of our relationship to God, emotional maturity is reflected in the quality of our relationships with people. They go hand in hand. As God's Words say, "If anyone says, 'I love God,' yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen."1 Thus, in reality, I'm no closer to God than I am to people.

Without a reasonable level of emotional maturity, it is virtually impossible to have healthy interpersonal relationships. Immaturity is without doubt a major cause of impaired relationships and failed marriages. Emotional maturity means that we will have a healthy self-concept—not thinking too highly or too lowly of ourselves. This will include a healthy sense of self-acceptance and self-worth, which will also determine how well we do in many other areas of life. If I fail to accept myself in a healthy way, it makes it extremely difficult to accept others in a healthy way. This is because the issues I reject in myself, I will automatically reject in others.

Emotional maturity also involves being in touch with all of our God-given emotions and that these are well integrated into every area of life. Unless one is connected to his or her inner-self (his/her emotions and motives), meaningful communications and intimate relationships are impossible. It also requires that, wherever possible, impaired relationships from the past are resolved, that we have forgiven all who have ever hurt us, and that all supercharged, repressed negative emotions from past experiences are resolved.

Personal responsibility. Another vital characteristic of maturity is acting responsibly and appropriately in all situations—neither overreacting nor under-reacting. People overreact when unresolved painful issues from the past are triggered and they react as if they were responding to the original hurt. People under-react when they withdraw from dealing with an issue they need to confront and resolve. Some excuse this behavior as being Christian and not wanting to hurt someone's feelings. Rather, it is basically being weak, afraid, or insecure—not to mention being dishonest.

As John Powell so eloquently said, "We defend our dishonesty on the grounds that it may hurt another person and then, having rationalized our phoniness into nobility, we settle for superficial relationships."

True, "I may have been a victim in the past but if I remain a victim, I am now a willing volunteer." Acting in a mature manner means that I now accept personal responsibility for every area of life. It means that I refuse to play the blame-game. Consistently blaming someone else for the difficulties I have will cause me to B-LAME—emotionally, that is.

When working with divorced people, I have found that so many primarily blame their former partner for the breakdown of their relationship. They fail to see that they, too, contributed to the conflict either by being too weak, too passive, too codependent, too over-dependent, too independent, too needy, too afraid of closeness, or in any of a score of other ways.

On one occasion a friend once said to me, "Are you angry at me because I've been divorced three times?" "Angry, no," I answered, "afraid, yes!" "Well they were all jerks," she responded. So I asked, "Well, why did you marry them?"

The last I heard is that my friend is now in her fifth marriage.

The reality is unless we act responsibly and admit, confront, and resolve our personal issues, we are destined to repeat past failures. It's either resolution or repetition.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you that you love and accept me as I am, but love me too much to leave me as I am. Please help me to see every area of immaturity in my life and, with your help, resolve and overcome these issues. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen."

1. 1 John 4:20 (NIV).

 

[RiverOL]

Daily Retreat: Two Ways to Live

Morning Encounter:
In this second part of the week we will give you some verses of Scripture to reflect on as you continue to retreat with God.
Read:
God blesses those people
who refuse evil advice
and won’t follow sinners
or join in sneering at God.
Instead, the Law of the Lord
makes them happy,
and they think about it
day and night.

They are like trees
growing beside a stream,
trees that produce
fruit in season
and always have leaves.
Those people succeed
in everything they do.
That isn’t true of those
who are evil,
because they are like straw
blown by the wind.

Sinners won’t have an excuse
on the day of judgment,
and they won’t have a place
with the people of God.
The Lord protects everyone
who follows him,
but the wicked follow a road
that leads to ruin.
(Psalm 1)

Reflect:
The first Psalm focuses on two ways to live – with God or without God, the way of flourishing or the way of languishing.
Respond:
Take time to go over these verses and then rest, silently. How might the Lord wish to speak to you today?

Midday Meditation:
“It is no little wisdom for you to keep yourself in silence and in good peace when evil words are spoken to you, and to turn your heart to God and not to be troubled with the judgment of others.”
(Thomas a Kempis)

Evening Reflection:
Blessed are you, Lord our God.
How sweet are your words to the taste,
sweeter than honey to the mouth.
How precious are your commands for our life,
more than the finest gold in our hands.
How marvelous is your will for the world,
unending is your love for the nations.
Our voices shall sing of your promises
and our lips declare your praise.
Blessed be God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Blessed be God for ever.

 

[RiverOL]

The "Inner-Stances"
For reading & meditation - 2 Corinthians 4
""We are handicapped on all sides ... we may be knocked down but we are never knocked out!"" (vv. 8-9, J. B. Phillips)

Why is it that while the same things can happen to us all, they may not have the same effect upon us all? The same thing happening to two different people may have entirely different effects. Why should this be so? It depends not so much on the circumstances, but on the ""inner-stances"" - or, in other words, our inner attitudes.

As someone has said, ""What life does to us in the long run depends on what life finds in us."" Life's blows can make some people querulous and bitter, others they sweeten and refine; the same events, but with opposite effects. The Gospels tell us that there were three crosses set up on Calvary on the first Good Friday.

The same event happened to three different people, but look at the different results. One thief complained and blamed Jesus for not saving Himself and them; the other thief recognized his own unworthiness, repented of it and found an open door to Paradise. Jesus, of course, saw it as the climax of His earthly achievements and made it the fulcrum on which He moved the world.

What counts, therefore, is not so much what happens to us, but what we do with it. The same sunshine falling on two different plants can cause one to wither and die, while the other will blossom and flourish.

And why? It all depends on the response the plants make. Although, of course, they both need water, one plant is more suited to hot sunshine than the other, and therefore responds with more life and growth, while the other shrivels up and dies.

Prayer:
Gracious heavenly Father, write this precept upon my heart so that I shall never forget it: it's not so much what happens to me, but what I do with it that is important. Thank You, Father. Amen

​

 

[RiverOL]

Characteristics of Maturity, Part II

Discussing characteristics of maturity we noted yesterday that having a well-integrated emotional life and accepting personal responsibility for every area of life are both essential characteristics of maturity. Today we will mention two more key characteristics. Next is:

Personal honesty. Another major characteristic of maturity that is vital for healthy relationships and meaningful living is personal honesty both with others and with one's self. Without personal honesty I don't believe that intellectual honesty is possible. To the degree that I am dishonest and out of touch with my own reality, the more I will distort all other factors and truths to make them match my distorted perception of reality. On the other hand, the more honest I am, the clearer I will see all other truth, including God's truth.

Personal honesty includes being in touch with and honest about our true feelings/emotions (many of which have been long since buried and denied). It also means being honest about our motives. This may be the most challenging area of personal honesty because most of us have hidden agendas, be they conscious or subconscious. Unfortunately, hidden agendas cause people to become disgustingly manipulative.

Being honest is being real, transparent, and authentic. It's a tough call but the only healthy and mature way to live. It means being known for who we truly are (warts and all) by at least one or two trusted friends. It allows us to see both our strengths and weaknesses that, in turn, will help us to develop and use our strengths creatively and work on overcoming our weaknesses.

Being honest is also God's plan for each one of us. His Word says: "We will lovingly follow the truth at all times—speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly—and so become more in every way like Christ who is the Head of his body, the church."2And again, "Surely you [God] desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place."3

Spiritual maturity. This will be seen, not in how well we know our Bible, how many church services we attend, or how many religious activities we are involved in (all of which are important when done from pure motives), but in having a healthy relationship with God. In fact, over-busyness in religious activities may be a cover-up of areas of immaturity.

Think of Mary and Martha, friends of Jesus, for example. When Jesus came to visit in their home, one can imagine how excited Martha must have been as she busily labored in the kitchen over a hot oven to prepare a special meal for their special guest. However, she complained to Jesus about Mary who wasn't helping with the preparations, but just sitting and visiting with Jesus. This sounds like a reasonable complaint to me. I probably would have been ticked off with Mary too. However, Jesus saw it differently.

Here's the scene: "But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him [Jesus] and said, 'Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.' And Jesus answered and said to her, 'Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.'"4

In our language, Martha may have been a workaholic keeping busy to avoid facing some painful issue/s in her life. On the other hand, relating to Jesus was more important to Mary than busily preparing a meal for him. What Martha and Mary were both doing was important, but what was more important was the motive behind their actions. It's good to do work for God but more important is our relationship with him, and that we have pure motives. Loving and relating to God is a vital part of spiritual maturity out of which genuine service is to flow. Service used as a way of avoiding any unresolved personal issue is not service, but a way of escape from facing reality.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please search my heart and face me with the truth of any and all unresolved issues in my life—including any past hurts, any areas of un-forgiveness, and every area of immaturity, and please lead me to the help I need to overcome so that I will become more and more like Jesus Christ—and mature in every area of my life. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen."

 

[RiverOL]

'But some doubted…'
I've always been intrigued by the words 'they worshipped him; but some doubted' in the story at the end of Matthew. (Matthew 28.16-17).
I find it helpful to recognise that doubt sits between belief and unbelief and has more to do with a lack of certainty rather than disbelief.
Perhaps with all that the disciples had to process over recent days – the arrest, trial and gruesome death of Jesus, the earthquake, a body missing from the tomb, angelic visitation and appearances of Jesus himself – it's not surprising that some had their doubts.

Perhaps their heads were spinning and they were simply trying to make sense of it all? The implication is that worship and doubt can co-exist. We don't have to have it all worked out, all the mysteries of God solved, all uncertainties quashed in order to worship Jesus and to follow him. This is good news for us as apprentices and learners of the way of Jesus.

 

[RiverOL]

Keeping company with Jesus
Right back in the early church in Acts, we see desire for more of God linked to activities that help people to 'keep company with Jesus'.

They devoted themselves to the Apostles' teaching, broke bread and prayed together. They shared possessions and practiced hospitality. As the community develops we see practices of compassion, witness, serving others, fixed hour prayer and fasting.
An early Christian text (known as The Didache) instructs believers on practices of stewardship, chastity, fasting, prayer, humility and the Lord's Supper. Longing to recover their first love for God, the early church moves out to the desert and this gives rise to practices of silence, solitude, contemplation and detachment.

The monastic communities that followed exercised rhythms of fixed-hour prayer, memorization of Scripture, service, simplicity, hospitality and meditation.
More recently in the West, with the advance of technology, Christians practiced journaling, care for the earth, small group accountability and mentoring. Today we see that trying to stay connected to Jesus in the whirlwind of our busy lives has opened up practices like slowing, centering prayer and fasting from technology. What seems to be true of history is the need for God's people to find intentional activities if we are going to stay awake to God today.

What practices or activities do you find helpful?

 

[RiverOL]

Two Men - Different Reactions
For reading & meditation - 2 Corinthians 12:1-10
""... 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'"" (v. 9)
We must spend another day examining this very important issue of why it is that some non-Christians seem to respond better to life's problems than many Christians. Just recently I heard of two different people whose business ventures collapsed. One was a Christian and the other an agnostic.

The agnostic responded to the situation by saying, ""I cannot determine what happens to me, but I can determine what it will do to me. It will make me better and more useful."" He struck out in another direction, and his new venture prospered to such a degree that he won an award.

The Christian responded to the collapse of his business by saying, ""Life is unjust. What's the point of trying? I shall withdraw from the cutthroat world of business and concentrate on my garden."" He had to undergo some in-depth counseling before he was on his feet again, and after six months he felt strong enough to rebuild a new and now prosperous business. What can explain the different reactions of these two men?

We could explain it in terms of temperament, upbringing, and so on, but there is one thing that must not be overlooked - the Christian had access to the grace of God which, if utilized, should have enabled him to view the situation even more positively than the non-Christian. As a counselor, I understand why people respond wrongly to life's situations.

However, my understanding of it does not prevent me from recognizing that the true biblical response to life's problems is to take full advantage of the grace of God and turn every setback into a springboard.

Prayer:
Gracious Father, help me to respond to everything in the way a Christian should. Help me to see that not only do You lift the standard high, but You also supply the strength for me to attain it. For Jesus' sake. Amen

​

 

[RiverOL]

Daily Retreat: Lost and Found (16 November 2018)
Morning Encounter:
Read:

Tax collectors and sinners were all crowding around to listen to Jesus. So the Pharisees and the teachers of the Law of Moses started grumbling, “This man is friendly with sinners. He even eats with them.”
Then Jesus told them this story:
If any of you has a hundred sheep, and one of them gets lost, what will you do? Won’t you leave the ninety-nine in the field and go look for the lost sheep until you find it? And when you find it, you will be so glad that you will put it on your shoulder and carry it home. Then you will call in your friends and neighbours and say, “Let’s celebrate! I’ve found my lost sheep.”
Jesus said, “In the same way there is more happiness in heaven because of one sinner who turns to God than over ninety-nine good people who don’t need to.” (Luke 15.1-7)

Reflect:
This is one of three stories in Luke’s Gospel about the joy of finding something that was lost. God is not passive, but actively seeking people who are lost.
Respond:

Take time to go over these verses and then rest, silently. How might the Lord wish to speak to you today?
Midday Meditation:

‘This kingdom of God life is not a matter of waking up each morning with a list of chores or an agenda to be tended to, left on our bedside table by the Holy Spirit for us while we slept. We wake up already immersed in a large story of creation and covenant, of Israel and Jesus, the story of Jesus and the stories that Jesus told. We let ourselves be formed by these formative stories, and especially as we listen to the stories that Jesus tells, get a feel for the way he does it, the way he talks, the way he treats people, the Jesus way.’
(Eugene Peterson)

Evening Reflection:
This evening, why not be still and silent for a period of time. If it helps with focus, you might like to light a candle or watch a log fire burn as you reflect on your day.
Only God gives inward peace, and I depend on him.
God alone is the mighty rock that keeps me safe, and he is the fortress where I feel secure.
God saves me and honours me.
He is that mighty rock where I find safety. (from Psalm 62)

 

[RiverOL]

• Your Life Purpose
  The Apostle Paul said, "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."1
  
  "Stephen Covey once said, 'Be sure that, as you scramble up the ladder of success, it is leaning against the right building.' Many people work hard to achieve goals that they think they want only to find, at the end of the day, they get no joy or satisfaction from their accomplishments. They ask, 'Is this all there is?' This occurs when the outer accomplishment is not in harmony with your inner values. Don't let this happen to you."2
  
  Time and again I have asked classes I have taught, "How many of you believe that God has a purpose for your life?" Most of the hands are raised but then, when I ask them to spell out their God-given life purpose, very few have any idea what it is. This reminds me of an old ditty I heard as a teenager that said, "Blessed be he who aimeth at nothing for he shall surely hit it."
  
  I don't know about you but when I stand face to face before God and have to give an account of my life I don't want to go into heaven empty-handed.3
  
  God does have a divine purpose for your life. Make sure that you know what it is and that you are, with God's help, fulfilling it. God's purpose for you will have to do with discovering, developing, and serving God by using the natural and spiritual gifts God has already given to you. And remember that we serve God by serving people. Also make sure that your life-purpose is in harmony with God's will so that your ladder isn't leaning against the wrong wall.
  
  I have written out and/or stated my life-purpose probably thousands of times. I have done this pretty much daily for many years and plan on doing so for all the days of my life. Repetition with feeling helps program your life purpose into your unconscious mind and belief system. This helps to operate on automatic pilot. I encourage you to write out your God-given life purpose and repeat it at the beginning of every day as part of your daily devotions.
  
  Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you that you have a divine purpose for my life. Please help me to discover what it is and to get excellent training so that I can do my utmost to fulfill your purpose for my life and, in so doing, bring glory to your name. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
  ​