A Polish man married an American woman, and even though his English wasn’t perfect, they got along just fine.
One day, he burst into a lawyer’s office, looking panicky.
Man: "I need divorce! Please help!"
Lawyer: "A divorce? Well, that depends on your situation. Do you have any grounds?"
Man: "Yes, yes! One acre and nice little house."
Lawyer: "No, I mean what’s the foundation of your case?"
Man: "Oh! Made of concrete."
Lawyer: "Sir, do you and your wife have a grudge?"
Man: "No need! We have car porch."
Lawyer: "Let’s try again. What are your relations like?"
Man: "All still in Poland."
Lawyer: "Sir, has there been any infidelity in your marriage?"
Man: "Oh yes! We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player."
Lawyer: "No, I mean, does your wife ever beat you up?"
Man: "No, no, I wake up before her every day!"
Lawyer: (getting frustrated) "Then why do you want a divorce?"
Man: "Because she try to kill me!"
Lawyer: "What? What makes you think that?"
Man: "I have proof! She buy bottle at supermarket, and put in the kitchen!"
Lawyer: "And what did the bottle say?"
Man: "Right on label. Regular Polish Remover!"