TheGreatJonathan :
So I can't sleep now because I kept thinking about my problems and what happened today - I nearly fought with someone.
It was after work and I was ordering cai png takeaway for me and my parents. As I was walking from MRT station to bus station, I saw my bus came early despite the freaking estimation said there was 1 more minute. I ran to chase the bus and I am DAMN sure the bus driver saw me but he pretend to look front and just drove off. I felt super pissed off.
And because I ran from such a distance and it's a warm weather today, I started perspiring very heavily until my shirt has armpit sweat stains... The sweat was so bad that I can feel it sliding from my neck all the way on my back to the belt area... I can feel my trouser's waist were getting wet. It is really awful and my anger start to build up.
As I am carrying my work laptop on one hand and my other hand holding the cai pngs, I have to use all my strength on my left hand to hold all while I take tissue with my right hand struggling to wipe the sweat off my forehead. Then I start pacing up and down to cool down.
Suddenly there's this bloody cyclist riding and collided into me. Thankfully he breaked in time but as I'm already struggling to hold all the items on my left hand (hand was shaking because no strength already) so I dropped everything. I immediately do that suck-teeth sound at the cyclist and stare at him.
Instead of apologizing, he tilt his head backwards and give a 'wanna hantum' face at me. Then says, "An zua? Buay song ah? Lai ah"
My anger surged. I was already clenching my fist and wanted to throw a punch but then I realise... that would be a crime. That's assault. What if I get sentenced to jail because of a few seconds of anger? What will happen to my aging and ailing parents? And what about my future? With a criminal record, I would be jobless and my future is gone.
Reflecting on the above, I just squat down to take my things and ignore him. He proceeds to say, "Humji ah? Lai la knn"
Everyone is looking at us now. My anger came again but I want to practice my superior linguistic skills and try to reason with him, "Brother... If we fight, loser goes to hospital. Winner goes to jail. Let's not do it... We got a family to take care too. Let's not..."
"Humji jiu shi humji la... gong anni zuay ang moh? Humji say sorli lah!"
As I don't want to escalate any further, I just said sorry then he cycled off. I ate my dignity because I do not want to risk my future, especially with my parents on my mind.
Finally my bus came and I hop in... Then I realise women who witnessed what happened just now were facing away from me as we were all standing in the bus. Men just act as if nothing happened. I felt worse than a beta... It feels like Omega, the worst hierachy of men. Suddenly I felt like an eunuch.
When I got home, my parents still lectured and scolded me on why all the cai png all spilled everywhere in the plastic bag. I just said I drop it accidentally. My father went on to say I am a clumsy fellow. Worse still, my work laptop's edge seems to have a little crack. I guess this will be a remembrance for my 'filial piety' today.
I am still brooding over this and I can't sleep. I'm tossing and turning and wondered what would other EDMWers do? Am I brave because I put my dignity aside for my parents and future; or should I have done something else?
https://forums.fuckwarezone.com.sg/threads/cannot-sleep-because-nearly-fight-today.6685185/