Strange, I thot that piece about not submitting MC would be the "best" condolence letter !!
There u go:
CONDOLENCE LETTER FROM PRIME MINISTER ASS LOON
ON DEMISE OF NS Slave
3 Oct 2008
NS Slave's Lao Beh & Lao Bu
Dear Uncle & Aunty
I was sad to learn that your son, Pte Slave, has passed away.
Pte Slave was a NS slave from 200x till 2008. He tried to keng, but felt guilty and didn't submit his fake MC. Nevertheless, one had to respect his dogged tenacity to overcome his desire to keng and managed 6 chin ups.
However, we would not condone it even if it was just a desire to keng. I am therefore happy that he left and spared us the trouble of having to charge him.
Please accept my deepest condolences.
Yours sincerely
Loon