CNY reopens painful old wounds

[OYK]

By u/1337933k

With CNY arriving shortly, many would probably dread the impending questions posed by nosey relatives about one's personal affairs, such as whether he/she has found a girl/boyfriend and if not, why......so on and so forth.

Yet this is seriously nothing next to my own set of circumstances. For me, CNY is a time when my extremely dark and sad past returns to haunt, to reopen painful old wounds.

I came from a dysfunctional family and really hated everyone in it, from my parents to my dad's many brothers and sisters (aka my uncles and aunts).

For a start, my dad was never around, almost always absent from my life. My only existing memories as far as he is concerned were those of me getting beaten up by him when I misbehaved.

My mom loved me, but she detested my brother (and very openly too). She would inform him outright that food on the table was meant for me, not for him. And that she loved me and not him because she breastfed me but not him, so she had no emotional 'connection' with him whatsoever (I mean wtf right????).

My parents are divorced. Those moments when my dad packed his suitcase and literally walked out on the family are forever seared in my mind, especially the bit involving my mom begging me to ask my dad to stay. I had to sleep with her on their matrimonial bed that night, fearful that she would take her own life.​

More at https://www.domainofexperts.com/2019/01/cny-reopens-painful-old-wounds.html

 

[k1976]

A man can only grow stronger if he can handle his past and outgrow from his fear.

I am sure u can handle it just like many of us did it before. Good luck and have confidence in yourself. A old taxi uncle once told me, we have to accept ourselves and learn to 放下自在

Happy New Year

 

[shock888]

A man can only grow stronger if he can handle his past and outgrow from his fear.

I am sure u can handle it just like many of us did it before. Good luck and have confidence in yourself. A old taxi uncle once told me, we have to accept ourselves and learn to 放下自在

Happy New Year

Indeed the man who is able to be strong and comfortable to be alone is a strong man.

 

[oliverlee]

Lee Sheng Wu talks about his uncle in a new film

 

[syed putra]

I dunno what the anguish is. That means no cny gathering right? Can play computer games all night.

 

[Timerty]

Who ask you to go and meet those idiots relatives?

Cut ties already.

You met them now then you meet friends might add well GO HOTEL AND HAVE SEX WITH THEM EVERY WEEK

 

[True Believer]

The original saying of "whatever does not kill us makes us stronger" written by German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche was: “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” Suffering is good for us, as it makes us more resilient.

 

[NanoSpeed]

Happiness is derived from believing that you have gained somewhat an advantage over another person. The advantage can be wealth, health, education, marriage etc. Anything that says 哈哈! 我有你沒有 ... brings happiness to the person who asked the question.

You bought a BMW you sibei happy not because the BMW makes you happy. It's the people around you who cannot afford BMW that will make you happy. If everyone owns a BMW in Singapore, you will not be happy. It's the same with Rolex and holidays at exotic destinations etc.

This is why comparing is very important. It's through comparison that you enjoy the advantage that you have gained.

Of course, it's also important to mask your comparison (and eventual gloating) as "concern" 關心. No wonder CNY is the perfect opportunity to showcase your success and whack the losers.

 

[True Believer]

Happiness is derived from believing that you have gained somewhat an advantage over another person. The advantage can be wealth, health, education, marriage etc. Anything that says 哈哈! 我有你沒有 ... brings happiness to the person who asked the question. You bought a BMW you sibei happy not because the BMW makes you happy. It's the people around you who cannot afford BMW that will make you happy. If everyone owns a BMW in Singapore, you will not be happy. It's the same with Rolex and holidays at exotic destinations etc. This is why comparing is very important. It's through comparison that you enjoy the advantage that you have gained. Of course, it's also important to mask your comparison (and eventual gloating) as "concern" 關心. No wonder CNY is the perfect opportunity to showcase your success and whack the losers.

Anyone who derives happiness from believing that he has a material "advantage" over another less fortunate person, is truly insecure.

 

[True Believer]

I once had a boss who was so insecure that he regularly walked around the staff car park, and inquired what make and model of cars his subordinates were driving.

 

[NanoSpeed]

I once had a boss who was so insecure that he regularly walked around the staff car park, and inquired what make and model of cars his subordinates were driving.

He definitely hoped everyone drove a cheaper model car.

It's the same as those who asked about your age. They always have a preferred answer in mind, and they ask to seek confirmation. Invariably, the preferred answer is something that will erode your advantage.

 

[True Believer]

He definitely hoped everyone drove a cheaper model car.
It's the same as those who asked about your age. They always have a preferred answer in mind, and they ask to seek confirmation. Invariably, the preferred answer is something that will erode your advantage.

Which boss would like a subordinate who drives a more expensive car and lives in a more luxurious home than him? It is proof that the subordinate is perhaps smarter than the boss.