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<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR>Why I choose to remain single
</TR><!-- headline one : end --><TR>My parents have a loving relationship, but I knew I could not live my life around a husband </TR><!-- Author --><TR><TD class="padlrt8 georgia11 darkgrey bold" colSpan=2>By Lee Wei Ling
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Always there for each other, MM Lee and wife Kwa Geok Choo in a photo taken in September 1946 and in January 2006. She lived her life around him, and now that she is unwell, he has adjusted his lifestyle to accommodate her. -- PHOTO COURTESY OF THE LEE FAMILY & ST FILE PHOTO
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My father became prime minister in 1959, when I was just four years old. Inevitably, most people know me as Lee Kuan Yew's daughter.
My every move, every word, is scrutinised and sometimes subject to criticism. One friend said I lived in a glass house. After my father's recent comment on my lack of culinary skills, another observed: 'You live in a house without any walls.' Fortunately, I am not easily embarrassed.
As long as my conscience is clear, what other people say of me does not bother me. Indeed, I am open about my life since the more I try to conceal from the public, the wilder the speculation becomes.
My father said of my mother two weeks ago: 'My wife was...not a traditional wife. She was educated, a professional woman... We had Ah Mahs, reliable, professional, dependable. (My wife) came back every lunchtime to have lunch with the children.'
Actually, my mother was a traditional wife and mother. She was not traditional only in one respect: She was also a professional woman and, for many years, the family's main breadwinner.
=> Old Fart ate soft rice?
One of my mother's proudest possessions is a gold pendant that my father commissioned for her. He had a calligrapher engrave on the pendant the following characters: 'xian qi liang mu' and 'nei xian wai de'.
The first four characters mean virtuous wife and caring mother. The second four mean wise in looking after the family, virtuous in behaviour towards the outside world.
My mother lived her life around my father and, while we were young, around her children. I remember my mother protesting gently once about something my father had asked her to do.
'It is a partnership, dear,' my father urged.
=> Big or small, all eat ah!
'But it is not an equal partnership,' my mother replied.
The partnership may not have been exactly equal at particular points in time. But over the years, especially after my mother's health deteriorated after she suffered a stroke, my father was the one who took care of her. She clearly indicated she preferred my father's care to that of the doctors', in itself a revelation of the quality of his care.
=> Paid for by the peasants' SeePF?
He remembers her complicated regime of medications. Because she cannot see on the left side of her visual field, he sits on her left during meals. He prompts her to eat the food on the left side of her plate and picks up whatever food her left hand drops on the table.
I have always admired my father for his dedication to Singapore, his determination to do what is right, his courage in standing up to foreigners who try to tell us how to run our country.
But my father was also the eldest son in a typical Peranakan family. He cannot even crack a soft-boiled egg - such things not being expected of men, especially eldest sons, in Peranakan families.
But when my mother's health deteriorated, he readily adjusted his lifestyle to accommodate her, took care of her medications and lived his life around her. I knew how much effort it took him to do all this, and I was surprised that he was able to make the effort.
=> No wonder he demands miillions for chor boh lan!
If my parents have such a loving relationship, why then did I decide to remain single?
Firstly, my mother set the bar too high for me. I could not envisage being the kind of wife and mother she had been.
=> Blame mother...
Secondly, I am temperamentally similar to my father.
=> Blame father now...kaobehkaobu?
Indeed, he once said to me: 'You have all my traits - but to such an exaggerated degree that they become a disadvantage in you.'
When my father made that pendant for my mother, he also commissioned one for me. But the words he chose for me were very different from those he chose for my mother.
On one side of my pendant was engraved 'yang jing xu rui', which means to conserve energy and build up strength. On the other side was engraved 'chu lei ba cui', which means to stand out and excel.
The latter was added just for completion. His main message was in the first phrase, telling me, in effect, not to be so intense about so many things in life.
=> Cos scared of karma?
I knew I could not live my life around a husband; nor would I want a husband to live his life around me. Of course, there are any number of variations in marital relationships between those extremes. But there is always a need for spouses to change their behaviour or habits to suit each other. I have always been set in my ways and did not fancy changing my behaviour or lifestyle.
I had my first date when I was 21 years old. He was a doctor in the hospital ward I was posted to. We went out to a dinner party. I noted that the other guests were all rich socialites. I dropped him like a hot potato.
=> Big ego like daddy's?
In 2005, while on an African safari with a small group of friends, one of them, Professor C.N. Lee, listed the men who had tried to woo me. There were three besides the first. Two were converted into friends and another, like the first, was dropped.
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=2 width=330 align=center border=0><TBODY><TR><TD vAlign=top colSpan=3>
</TD><TD class=georgia12 align=middle width="40%">Photo 2 of 2
</TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD class=georgia12 align=middle>View all thumbnails
</TD><TD align=right></TD></TR><TR></TR><TR><TD vAlign=top colSpan=3>Always there for each other, MM Lee and wife Kwa Geok Choo in a photo taken in September 1946 and in January 2006. She lived her life around him, and now that she is unwell, he has adjusted his lifestyle to accommodate her. -- PHOTO COURTESY OF THE LEE FAMILY & ST FILE PHOTO </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
</TR><!-- headline one : end --><TR>My parents have a loving relationship, but I knew I could not live my life around a husband </TR><!-- Author --><TR><TD class="padlrt8 georgia11 darkgrey bold" colSpan=2>By Lee Wei Ling
</TD></TR><!-- show image if available --><TR vAlign=bottom><TD width=330>
</TD><TD width=10>
Always there for each other, MM Lee and wife Kwa Geok Choo in a photo taken in September 1946 and in January 2006. She lived her life around him, and now that she is unwell, he has adjusted his lifestyle to accommodate her. -- PHOTO COURTESY OF THE LEE FAMILY & ST FILE PHOTO
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
<TABLE><TBODY><TR><TD>
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
<!-- START OF : div id="storytext"--><!-- more than 4 paragraphs -->
My father became prime minister in 1959, when I was just four years old. Inevitably, most people know me as Lee Kuan Yew's daughter.
My every move, every word, is scrutinised and sometimes subject to criticism. One friend said I lived in a glass house. After my father's recent comment on my lack of culinary skills, another observed: 'You live in a house without any walls.' Fortunately, I am not easily embarrassed.
As long as my conscience is clear, what other people say of me does not bother me. Indeed, I am open about my life since the more I try to conceal from the public, the wilder the speculation becomes.
My father said of my mother two weeks ago: 'My wife was...not a traditional wife. She was educated, a professional woman... We had Ah Mahs, reliable, professional, dependable. (My wife) came back every lunchtime to have lunch with the children.'
Actually, my mother was a traditional wife and mother. She was not traditional only in one respect: She was also a professional woman and, for many years, the family's main breadwinner.
=> Old Fart ate soft rice?
One of my mother's proudest possessions is a gold pendant that my father commissioned for her. He had a calligrapher engrave on the pendant the following characters: 'xian qi liang mu' and 'nei xian wai de'.
The first four characters mean virtuous wife and caring mother. The second four mean wise in looking after the family, virtuous in behaviour towards the outside world.
My mother lived her life around my father and, while we were young, around her children. I remember my mother protesting gently once about something my father had asked her to do.
'It is a partnership, dear,' my father urged.
=> Big or small, all eat ah!
'But it is not an equal partnership,' my mother replied.
The partnership may not have been exactly equal at particular points in time. But over the years, especially after my mother's health deteriorated after she suffered a stroke, my father was the one who took care of her. She clearly indicated she preferred my father's care to that of the doctors', in itself a revelation of the quality of his care.
=> Paid for by the peasants' SeePF?
He remembers her complicated regime of medications. Because she cannot see on the left side of her visual field, he sits on her left during meals. He prompts her to eat the food on the left side of her plate and picks up whatever food her left hand drops on the table.
I have always admired my father for his dedication to Singapore, his determination to do what is right, his courage in standing up to foreigners who try to tell us how to run our country.
But my father was also the eldest son in a typical Peranakan family. He cannot even crack a soft-boiled egg - such things not being expected of men, especially eldest sons, in Peranakan families.
But when my mother's health deteriorated, he readily adjusted his lifestyle to accommodate her, took care of her medications and lived his life around her. I knew how much effort it took him to do all this, and I was surprised that he was able to make the effort.
=> No wonder he demands miillions for chor boh lan!
If my parents have such a loving relationship, why then did I decide to remain single?
Firstly, my mother set the bar too high for me. I could not envisage being the kind of wife and mother she had been.
=> Blame mother...
Secondly, I am temperamentally similar to my father.
=> Blame father now...kaobehkaobu?
Indeed, he once said to me: 'You have all my traits - but to such an exaggerated degree that they become a disadvantage in you.'
When my father made that pendant for my mother, he also commissioned one for me. But the words he chose for me were very different from those he chose for my mother.
On one side of my pendant was engraved 'yang jing xu rui', which means to conserve energy and build up strength. On the other side was engraved 'chu lei ba cui', which means to stand out and excel.
The latter was added just for completion. His main message was in the first phrase, telling me, in effect, not to be so intense about so many things in life.
=> Cos scared of karma?
I knew I could not live my life around a husband; nor would I want a husband to live his life around me. Of course, there are any number of variations in marital relationships between those extremes. But there is always a need for spouses to change their behaviour or habits to suit each other. I have always been set in my ways and did not fancy changing my behaviour or lifestyle.
I had my first date when I was 21 years old. He was a doctor in the hospital ward I was posted to. We went out to a dinner party. I noted that the other guests were all rich socialites. I dropped him like a hot potato.
=> Big ego like daddy's?
In 2005, while on an African safari with a small group of friends, one of them, Professor C.N. Lee, listed the men who had tried to woo me. There were three besides the first. Two were converted into friends and another, like the first, was dropped.
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=2 width=330 align=center border=0><TBODY><TR><TD vAlign=top colSpan=3>
</TD></TR><TR><TD width="26%">« Prev</TD><TD class=georgia12 align=middle width="40%">Photo 2 of 2
</TD><TD align=right width="34%">Next»</TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD class=georgia12 align=middle>View all thumbnails
</TD><TD align=right></TD></TR><TR></TR><TR><TD vAlign=top colSpan=3>Always there for each other, MM Lee and wife Kwa Geok Choo in a photo taken in September 1946 and in January 2006. She lived her life around him, and now that she is unwell, he has adjusted his lifestyle to accommodate her. -- PHOTO COURTESY OF THE LEE FAMILY & ST FILE PHOTO </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
Knn.. i should have save that article.
