XAMPP is typically used for development or testing environments only.
Presumably you would be using some hosting services, the hosting provider will provide you with Apache install out-of-the-box.
They would also provide the various tools for administering the Apache server.
Wordpress, Joomla, Drupal themselves are CMSes; they come with their own database schema and web user interfaces are provided for you to manage the contents of your website. You don't need to and should not go onto a SQL level to manage the contents unless you are intimately familiar with the schema.
Sounds like you are looking at your own custom database schema for specific purposes. Though for commerce type of functionality, most of the ecommerce plugins should serve your needs. They are well-tested and supported and typically create additional tables on top of the CMSes' database schema and hence you shouldnt need to design your own database.
The hosting provider will also host the database for you. Tools will be provided for you to export, backup, maintain, etc, the database. You don't need MS Access to connect to the database.