11943: Let go or hold on?
https://www.whispers.sg/c/sgwhispers/posts/11943
Long post ahead. (Please do not slam me, i know this is not right. Good advice will suffice. TIA)
Me (married with 1 child), her (married with 2 children). Both of us met 1 month ago, both were unhappy with our own marriage. It started off with a normal chat, while complaining to each other about issues with our spouse. For me, my wife is just pure lazy and i have to deal with all the houseworks. Same for her.
Apart from complaining to each other, we do have common topics to talk about and we hit off pretty well. We had our first quick meet up after 1 week of chatting with me buying breakfast for her she as works nearby my workplace.
Subsequently, we progress to having lunch, dinner, and even a daycation (once). Things were doing fine and we were so "into" each other. She took the initiative to tell me that she misses me, and said she love me. There was once when she secretly took a photo of me while i am working and say that it's her favourite view.
As for me, knowing that i am married and already planning for a divorce when my child is a little older i didn't want to push to hard on this affair. I just wanted to date her and see how it goes. We both agreed in staying underground for the time being. (FYI, i did show my affection to her as well like pampering her such as buying a mothers' day flower with a small cup and buying medicine for her when she is sick as she doesn't want to visit a doctor.)
One day, her boss (who have met her husband before) accidentally read our chat via the company's laptop and found out all the deeds that we have been doing.
Immediately, her boss wants to meet up with her to have a chat about it and it ended with him saying he has no authority over this and told her to ensure that this shouldn't affect her work. After the chat, she asked/tell me things like "will you hold me all the way and what if halfway i give up?", "are you serious with me?", "why do i feel like you are keeping a distance from me after the daycation?", "i have a feeling that after the daycation you will dump me", "she is afraid that i will leave her if she goes all in to this relationship".
So the first thing i did was to apologise to her for landing her into this situation and i continued with telling her that i never thought of dumping her after the daycation and i am really serious about her. I assured her that i am here to stay and when the time is right we will divorce and start dating officially.
Meanwhile, she even assured me that her boss has no rights to stop her and she will talk to her boss. The next day was alright until about 3 days later she start to distance herself from me with texts that are difficult to reply, cancelling lunch and dinner dates because her boss is occupying her with work. I offered to buy her breakfast and i will go after passing it to her but she said it's fine because she have eaten.
What's going through my mind are those sweet talks from her, did she mean it? How about her telling me that she is willing to go underground and go official when it's time to fight for it? Those insecure feelings from her about me dumping her, and how she is dumping me just because the deeds for exposed. Why chicken out when it's time to fight for it?
Sigh...
https://www.whispers.sg/c/sgwhispers/posts/11943
Long post ahead. (Please do not slam me, i know this is not right. Good advice will suffice. TIA)
Me (married with 1 child), her (married with 2 children). Both of us met 1 month ago, both were unhappy with our own marriage. It started off with a normal chat, while complaining to each other about issues with our spouse. For me, my wife is just pure lazy and i have to deal with all the houseworks. Same for her.
Apart from complaining to each other, we do have common topics to talk about and we hit off pretty well. We had our first quick meet up after 1 week of chatting with me buying breakfast for her she as works nearby my workplace.
Subsequently, we progress to having lunch, dinner, and even a daycation (once). Things were doing fine and we were so "into" each other. She took the initiative to tell me that she misses me, and said she love me. There was once when she secretly took a photo of me while i am working and say that it's her favourite view.
As for me, knowing that i am married and already planning for a divorce when my child is a little older i didn't want to push to hard on this affair. I just wanted to date her and see how it goes. We both agreed in staying underground for the time being. (FYI, i did show my affection to her as well like pampering her such as buying a mothers' day flower with a small cup and buying medicine for her when she is sick as she doesn't want to visit a doctor.)
One day, her boss (who have met her husband before) accidentally read our chat via the company's laptop and found out all the deeds that we have been doing.
Immediately, her boss wants to meet up with her to have a chat about it and it ended with him saying he has no authority over this and told her to ensure that this shouldn't affect her work. After the chat, she asked/tell me things like "will you hold me all the way and what if halfway i give up?", "are you serious with me?", "why do i feel like you are keeping a distance from me after the daycation?", "i have a feeling that after the daycation you will dump me", "she is afraid that i will leave her if she goes all in to this relationship".
So the first thing i did was to apologise to her for landing her into this situation and i continued with telling her that i never thought of dumping her after the daycation and i am really serious about her. I assured her that i am here to stay and when the time is right we will divorce and start dating officially.
Meanwhile, she even assured me that her boss has no rights to stop her and she will talk to her boss. The next day was alright until about 3 days later she start to distance herself from me with texts that are difficult to reply, cancelling lunch and dinner dates because her boss is occupying her with work. I offered to buy her breakfast and i will go after passing it to her but she said it's fine because she have eaten.
What's going through my mind are those sweet talks from her, did she mean it? How about her telling me that she is willing to go underground and go official when it's time to fight for it? Those insecure feelings from her about me dumping her, and how she is dumping me just because the deeds for exposed. Why chicken out when it's time to fight for it?
Sigh...
