Alfian Sa'at:
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10152002841427371&id=649992370
Wondering which Young PAP branch to join? Based on my careful study of that Young PAP video, here’s a quick guide (I do this so you don’t have to):
1) Nee Soon:
Pro: It looks like members are open to conducting outdoor activities. They are seen posing with a background of something that looks like a lake with brown water.
Con: With the exception of the two guys who speak at the beginning of video, attire for outdoor activities seems to be office wear.
2) Marine Parade:
Pro: The members have chosen a very colourful setup for them to pose in. A splash of creativity?
Con: Colours are provided by the following: two toy electric guitars, child-size exercise machines, and exercise balls (I almost thought the woman in the middle was hiding an exercise ball under her T-shirt but no she is actually pregnant). This could have been a very interesting postmodern post-punk performance art band. Sadly, it is not.
3) West Coast:
Pro: When members say ‘love for Singapore’, each guy flings out one of his arms towards the camera. (Middle one flings out both arms, which is as close as you can get to 'star quality' in this kind of video). Shows some level of co-ordination; might have potential for school choir or dikir barat troupe.
Con: Singing skills as yet untested.
4) Ang Mo Kio:
Pro: PAP might not be so patriarchal after all. They let the women stand in front.
Con: Interpretive dance fail. ‘Home’ is accompanied by hand gesture forming a ‘heart’ shape. Everyone knows ‘home’ is when you use your hands to make ‘roof’ over your head.
5) Holland-Bukit Timah:
Pro: Had the good sense to let the articulate guy speak.
Con: Nobody is smiling. Instead everyone’s expression is saying, ‘why are we doing this my Excel forms haven’t finish yet’.
6) Aljunied:
Pro: Points for attempting re-enactment of welfare activities. Apparently needy residents are given bread.
Con: No explanation is given why a man is given a whole loaf of bread, while the woman after him is given a cream roll. To add insult to injury, woman is asked to pose for a photo while holding up her cream roll. Oh, the humiliation of means-testing.
7) Bishan:
Pro: Choice of backdrop colour is bold: a fuchsia piece of cloth with visible seam. (Maybe prize-giving tablecloth?)
Con: What is the backdrop hiding?
8 ) Jurong:
Pro: Clever use of Chinese Garden background makes speaker look sagely.
Con: Did not go all the way; speaker does not have long wispy eyebrows and beard that would have lent him more credibility. Also, did not speak in riddles.
(Interesting to note that both Bishan and Jurong have single speakers. Where are their colleagues?
Bishan: Hiding behind the cloth.
Jurong: Have yet to reach shifu level; not qualified.)
9) East Coast:
Pro: There is a painting on a wall in the background. Members appreciate art!
Con: The real piece of art is held up by one of the members in front. It is a large, framed piece of modernist art portraying a red lighting bolt enclosed by blue brackets.
10) Pasir Ris-Punggol:
Pro: Members look very young. They actually look like teenagers!
Con: They are calling ‘for the party to reduce the use of physical paper usage on (sic) our daily work and play’. What is this? This is like one of the first things you lazily suggest in the Army during those WITs (Work Improvement Team) sessions.
11) Chua Chu Kang:
Pro: There are PAP logo stickers on the wall, which are evenly spaced, demonstrating a high level of compositional skill and meticulous attention to order.
Con: Apparently there is such a thing as PAP-logo wallpaper and all they did was get a contractor to put it up.
12) Tanjong Pagar:
Pro: Must be a pretty tight-knit bunch because they’re posing as if for a family portrait.
Con: Everyone looks slightly traumatised, but then again this is Ah Kong’s ward. Also, they are reading text which is placed way above the camera’s eyeline, so they look like they’re addressing a levitating Ah Kong.
13) Sembawang:
Pro: Is considerate enough to provide subtitles, perhaps for the benefit of the hearing-impaired.
Con: Real reason is members’ diction. One guy says ‘value-drivens’ instead of ‘values-driven’. This is video, which means you can re-take if there’s a screw-up. Evidently, they gave up.
14) Tampines:
Pro: Guy who speaks at beginning looks quite pro, as if he’s hosting infotainment programme ‘Hey, Singapore!’
Con: Uses words like ‘holistically’ and ‘actualising’, all part of that dastardly civil service lingo of please revert noted stakeholder roadmap irregardless deliverable actionable KPI out of the box zzzzzzz.
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10152002841427371&id=649992370
Wondering which Young PAP branch to join? Based on my careful study of that Young PAP video, here’s a quick guide (I do this so you don’t have to):
1) Nee Soon:
Pro: It looks like members are open to conducting outdoor activities. They are seen posing with a background of something that looks like a lake with brown water.
Con: With the exception of the two guys who speak at the beginning of video, attire for outdoor activities seems to be office wear.
2) Marine Parade:
Pro: The members have chosen a very colourful setup for them to pose in. A splash of creativity?
Con: Colours are provided by the following: two toy electric guitars, child-size exercise machines, and exercise balls (I almost thought the woman in the middle was hiding an exercise ball under her T-shirt but no she is actually pregnant). This could have been a very interesting postmodern post-punk performance art band. Sadly, it is not.
3) West Coast:
Pro: When members say ‘love for Singapore’, each guy flings out one of his arms towards the camera. (Middle one flings out both arms, which is as close as you can get to 'star quality' in this kind of video). Shows some level of co-ordination; might have potential for school choir or dikir barat troupe.
Con: Singing skills as yet untested.
4) Ang Mo Kio:
Pro: PAP might not be so patriarchal after all. They let the women stand in front.
Con: Interpretive dance fail. ‘Home’ is accompanied by hand gesture forming a ‘heart’ shape. Everyone knows ‘home’ is when you use your hands to make ‘roof’ over your head.
5) Holland-Bukit Timah:
Pro: Had the good sense to let the articulate guy speak.
Con: Nobody is smiling. Instead everyone’s expression is saying, ‘why are we doing this my Excel forms haven’t finish yet’.
6) Aljunied:
Pro: Points for attempting re-enactment of welfare activities. Apparently needy residents are given bread.
Con: No explanation is given why a man is given a whole loaf of bread, while the woman after him is given a cream roll. To add insult to injury, woman is asked to pose for a photo while holding up her cream roll. Oh, the humiliation of means-testing.
7) Bishan:
Pro: Choice of backdrop colour is bold: a fuchsia piece of cloth with visible seam. (Maybe prize-giving tablecloth?)
Con: What is the backdrop hiding?
8 ) Jurong:
Pro: Clever use of Chinese Garden background makes speaker look sagely.
Con: Did not go all the way; speaker does not have long wispy eyebrows and beard that would have lent him more credibility. Also, did not speak in riddles.
(Interesting to note that both Bishan and Jurong have single speakers. Where are their colleagues?
Bishan: Hiding behind the cloth.
Jurong: Have yet to reach shifu level; not qualified.)
9) East Coast:
Pro: There is a painting on a wall in the background. Members appreciate art!
Con: The real piece of art is held up by one of the members in front. It is a large, framed piece of modernist art portraying a red lighting bolt enclosed by blue brackets.
10) Pasir Ris-Punggol:
Pro: Members look very young. They actually look like teenagers!
Con: They are calling ‘for the party to reduce the use of physical paper usage on (sic) our daily work and play’. What is this? This is like one of the first things you lazily suggest in the Army during those WITs (Work Improvement Team) sessions.
11) Chua Chu Kang:
Pro: There are PAP logo stickers on the wall, which are evenly spaced, demonstrating a high level of compositional skill and meticulous attention to order.
Con: Apparently there is such a thing as PAP-logo wallpaper and all they did was get a contractor to put it up.
12) Tanjong Pagar:
Pro: Must be a pretty tight-knit bunch because they’re posing as if for a family portrait.
Con: Everyone looks slightly traumatised, but then again this is Ah Kong’s ward. Also, they are reading text which is placed way above the camera’s eyeline, so they look like they’re addressing a levitating Ah Kong.
13) Sembawang:
Pro: Is considerate enough to provide subtitles, perhaps for the benefit of the hearing-impaired.
Con: Real reason is members’ diction. One guy says ‘value-drivens’ instead of ‘values-driven’. This is video, which means you can re-take if there’s a screw-up. Evidently, they gave up.
14) Tampines:
Pro: Guy who speaks at beginning looks quite pro, as if he’s hosting infotainment programme ‘Hey, Singapore!’
Con: Uses words like ‘holistically’ and ‘actualising’, all part of that dastardly civil service lingo of please revert noted stakeholder roadmap irregardless deliverable actionable KPI out of the box zzzzzzz.
