can die i just die.
i do not want to suffer any more in my life. ended up, suffer so much and still have to die.
whole life is just suffering, endure pain.
you tell me, 活着是为了什么？
According to philosophy: The meaning of life is to ask why is life so painful. And whether to continue affirming it. If ans is a NO, then the person renounces life and attains Nirvana. He is liberated from the wheel of rebirths and death in this life. No need to undergo more Pain in future lives. So suffering may be regarded as bitter medicine which purifies your soul. But all the suffering you went underwent still can't break your Will-to-Live.
Generally speaking only 1 out of a million attain Nirvana. That was during the ancient era. Today the ratio might even lesser.
Suicide is not absolute annihilation, you're still in the wheel:
"Far from being denial of the will, suicide is a phenomenon of strong assertion of will; for the essence of negation lies in this, that the joys of life are shunned, not its sorrows. The suicide wills life, and is only dissatisfied with the conditions under which it has presented itself to him. He therefore by no means surrenders the will to live, but only life, in that he destroys the individual manifestation. He wills life—wills the unrestricted existence and assertion of the body; but the complication of circumstances does not allow this, and there results for him great suffering. The very will to live finds itself so much hampered in this particular manifestation that it cannot put forth its energies. It therefore comes to such a determination as is in conformity with its own nature, which lies outside the conditions of the Veil of Maya, and to which, therefore, all particular manifestations are alike indifferent, inasmuch as it itself remains unaffected by all appearing and passing away, and is the inner life of all things; for that firm inward assurance by reason of which we all live free from the constant dread of death, the assurance that a phenomenal existence can never be wanting to the will, supports our action even in the case of suicide. Thus the
will to live appears just as much in suicide (Siva) as in the satisfaction of self-preservation (Vishnu)
and in the sensual pleasure of procreation (Brahma). Suicide, the wilful destruction of the single phenomenal existence, is a vain and foolish act; for the thing-in-itself remains unaffected by it, even as the rainbow endures however fast the drops which support it for the moment may change."
