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Woman leaves home after being unable to support parents’ S$5k/month spending, but they now threaten to call the police if she doesn’t return
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FEBRUARY 26, 2025SINGAPORE: A 24-year-old Singaporean woman recently shared on social media that her parents have been making various threats, including calling the police and causing a scene at her workplace, ever since she moved out of their home.
Posting on the r/askSingapore forum on Monday (Feb 24), she explained that she decided to leave after it became painfully clear that her parents saw her as their retirement plan.
“Their current COL is like S$5k/month and that’s crazy for a fresh grad like me. I can’t afford it,” she said. “My parents have told me before the money I give them monthly is just ‘paying for my own food’ and doesn’t count as giving them allowance. So why are they having a problem if I move out because now the money becomes theirs, right? I have been giving them S$600/month and I still am even after moving out.”
She also said she tried convincing her parents to dial down their lavish lifestyle since they had no savings, were deep in credit card debt, and still hadn’t fully paid off their BTO. But they refused to change and kept spending like everything was fine.
“They were F&B owners and had the mindset of ‘work more earn more so can spend more’. They didn’t realise that with age, their stamina and output would drop and they went from earning S$20k to earning S$5k and now about S$2k/month,” she added.
The woman admitted that she wouldn’t have minded giving her parents S$1,000 a month if they managed their finances responsibly. But knowing full well that her hard-earned money would be spent frivolously on another luxury item instead of actual necessities, she decided against it in the end.
Now that she has moved out and kept her new address a secret, her parents have been pulling every trick in the book to get her to return. From emotional blackmail to outright threats, they have tried every tactic to get her back.
“I have received threatening voicemails about them wanting to call the police, finding me at work and causing a scene there, etcetera. They want me to move back.”
Even more concerning were the emotional blackmail tactics. She had received alarming messages, including one that read, “Good morning, I got into a minor car accident today. Hope I don’t get into a major one.” Another was even more direct: “Next, you will see me in my coffin.”
“I don’t know how to deal with it. (And yes! Being in debt and earning S$2k / month, they REALLY SHOULDN’T BE OWNING A CAR, I KNOW, but I’m helpless). They don’t listen to my opinions at all.”
At one point, she even found herself trapped in an exhausting five-hour phone call, where they cycled through crying, begging, scolding, and even guilt-tripping her with dramatic ultimatums.
“It developed from them crying and saying I abandoned them to them begging me to come back to them scolding me for being so coldhearted to them saying they have no purpose in life without me to them asking ‘do I want them to jump off their house’? The only option I have is to move back now.”
“That’s the classic manipulative, gaslighting, narcissistic move parents do.”
In the discussion thread, many Singaporean Redditors were appalled that her parents would go as far as to call the police to force her to move back home.One Redditor said, “They want to call the police on you? Ridiculous. Who calls the police just because their adult children moved out? What law are you breaking? They are harassing and threatening you. They are breaking the law. Document everything. If they come and make a scene at your workplace, record it. Go to the police before they do.”
Others suggested that she consider cutting ties with her parents entirely, given their toxic behaviour, manipulative tactics, and complete disregard for both her financial stability and mental well-being.
One Redditor wrote, “Change your number or block them, immediately. Don’t give them money, and never tell them where you live.”
Another added, “That’s the classic manipulative, gaslighting, narcissistic move parents do. Moving out and keeping minimal contact is the best option for you now. You’ve done your part helping them and they should be responsible for their own debts.”
In other news, one frustrated worker recently voiced his concerns online, lamenting that businesses seem more willing to “spend money on AI” than to reward their employees properly.
According to his post on the r/singaporefi subreddit on Friday (Feb 21), most of his friends received salary increases of only 0-5%, while those who got promoted saw a 10% raise.
https://theindependent.sg/woman-lea...aten-to-call-the-police-if-she-doesnt-return/
