Mandeep Kaur, a 30-year-old mother of two girls, tearfully spoke to a camera on Aug. 1 and apologized to her father in India for what she was about to do.
“I’m sorry, I went through this for eight years, I can’t do this anymore,” Kaur said about her marriage. She was speaking in her native Punjabi language.
A short time later, Kaur died by suicide, a family friend making the awful discovery.
“There hasn’t been such a public demonstration of how gender-based violence can impact an individual in this community,” said Aminta Kilawan-Narine, founder of South Queens Women’s March, which was created after an Indo-Caribbean wife was murdered in the Richmond Hill-Jamaica section of the borough.
“I would venture to say domestic violence is an epidemic in this community,” she added.
Kaur’s death has jolted Richmond Hill — and the global South Asian community — deeply.
Kaur’s husband reportedly blamed the suicide on mental health issues, yet the mother of two young girls had told her family in the Punjab province of India that she was enduring verbal and physical abuse, even sending a video several years ago.
“He literally grabs her, throws her on the bed, takes a towel, puts it in her mouth and basically chokes her,” community member Japneet Singh said of the older video. The footage was posted on The Kaur Movement, a website created for the South Asian community to address domestic violence issues.
Even though Mandeep Kaur died on Aug. 1, a police source told PIX11 News the death wasn’t reported until Aug. 4 and the case remains “open.”
When PIX11 News went to the family home on 112 Street this week, we were told her husband left with the two girls, who are 4 and 6 years old.
“Last week, we found out they’re in Jersey somewhere,” Japneet Singh said.
Mandeep Kaur’s family is also upset that they couldn’t bring her remains home to India.
“He literally snuck the body to another funeral home and did the funeral without telling anybody,” Japneet Singh claimed.
Kavita Mehra, who founded a group called Sakhi that addresses gender-based violence, told PIX11 News that two in five South Asian women in the United States are victimized.
“When we compare the first six months of this year with 2020, we’re seeing a 43% rise in clients,” Mehra said.
She said South Asian women and Indo-Caribbean women are experiencing “unique cultural barriers, like isolation, shame, familial pressure and the concept of duty.”
She pointed to the recent murder of Pakistani-American photographer Sania Khan in Chicago, who had posted about her estranged husband and pending divorce on TikTok.
“Finally had your dream Southasian wedding but end up marrying just another toxic Southasian man,” Khan had written over her wedding photo.
Kavita Mehra said Khan paid for that post with her life.
“He drove across multiple state lines with a gun, and then he allegedly murdered her and then took his life by suicide,” Mehra said of Khan’s estanged husband.
Most of the women’s advocates PIX11 News spoke to said Mandeep Kaur’s suicide is a wake-up call for the South Asian community.
“They cannot be complicit and encourage this behavior by saying nothing,” Kilawan-Narine said of domestic violence.
Kaur was allegedly tormented by her husband’s family for not giving him a son.
Kavita Mehra wants women in her community to know “another option is always available, resources are available.”
Source:https://pix11.com/news/local-news/queens/queens-moms-death-is-wake-up-call-for-south-asians/
