Too bold for comfort? Too young to care

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</TD></TR><TR><TD class=content_subtitle align=left>Tue, May 04, 2010
The New Paper </TD></TR><TR><TD height=15>

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</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD><TD><!-- Story With Image End --></TD><TD><TABLE><TBODY><TR><TD class=bodytext_10pt colSpan=3><!-- CONTENT : start -->By Veena Bharwani
FIRST, there was a spate of pictures of teens getting intimate in secluded staircase landings.
Now, it appears as if teenagers are becoming more and more brazen - in school uniform - going by pictures and comments on citizen journalism website Stomp.
<TABLE class=bodytext border=0 cellSpacing=2 cellPadding=2 width=506 align=center><TBODY><TR><TD colSpan=4>Public displays of affection
Click on thumbnails below to view. Story continues after photos.
(Photos: STOMP)</TD></TR><TR><TD width=120></TD><TD width=120></TD><TD width=120></TD><TD width=120></TD></TR><TR><TD width=120></TD><TD width=120></TD><TD width=120></TD><TD width=120></TD></TR><TR><TD width=120></TD><TD width=120></TD><TD width=120></TD><TD width=120></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>Teenagers have been pictured making out on crowded buses and on trains, in full view of other commuters, oblivious to those around them. They kiss and sometimes fondle each other openly.
Stomp receives an average of four such pictures a month, said editor Chew V Ming.
Most of those responding say the teenagers are being disrespectful and behaving downright inappropriately.
One such disgusted Stomp contributor, known only as Wee, took pictures of two secondary school students in school uniform making out on a crowded bus on April 23 and sent it to Stomp.
He was so annoyed that he scolded the two teenagers on the bus.
He told Stomp: "Why are students wearing school uniform and making out in public for everyone to see all the time?
"They should have some sense of shame and show more consideration to the members of the public.
Some of the people who were sitting behind them had to resort to moving to the front seats so that they wouldn't have to tolerate such a scene for the whole journey."
Two days before that, another Stomp contributor sent pictures of another teenage couple sitting on the floor of an MRT platform and kissing openly.
Said the Stomp contributor: "By doing this in public, you are not only bringing down the name of your school but also being a disgrace in public.
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Increasingly common
"Such cases are getting more and more common in Singapore and it shows that the secondary school education has failed to educate the students on the right values and how to project the right image of themselves in public."
Three educators The New Paper spoke to said they are aware of the trend and added that it is irreversible.
Said a head of department of a secondary school in the West: "The change is here and parents, teachers and Singaporeans in general have to deal with it."
Added the 36-year-old who declined to be named: "The youth today are exposed to so many things that we were not exposed to 15 years ago as there was no Internet or YouTube.
"But now, they are witnessing how other teenagers around the world are being more open and of course, it affects them and they start acting in the same way."
But he said educators do spend a lot of time talking to their students about behaving appropriately in public.
"Of course, teachers do not condone it. I talk constantly to my students and tell them off if they engage in such behaviour. But the reality is, their world has changed and we have to accept it."
He added: "Years ago, when a teenager was caught making out in public, he might have been caned by his parents or by his teachers.
"Now, if I catch a student making out in public, I'd call his parents and have a chat with them. He would probably not be caned. These harsh punitive actions are not there any more."
Another head of department said: "Just look at how the teenagers are dressing these days. Their shorts are getting shorter. The concept of modesty has also changed and they are becoming more experimental and more daring."
The 30-year-old said: "Their values are shifting because of what they watch on TV. If the people on TV are making out in public and it is okay, why can't they?"
She said she constantly talks to her students about sex and how to behave in public.
"It is hard for us, but as teachers we have to continue to talk to them about Asian values and how to act appropriately in public."
What of the parents?
Said Madam Zainon Jantan, 42, a full-time tutor: "They are our children and it is up to us to teach them the right values.
"As a Muslim, we have quite strict rules about such things and my kids know it is completely unacceptable."
Another parent, Mr Samuel Owen, who has two children aged seven and 17, said if he found out his teenage son engaged in such behaviour in public, he wouldn't blow his top but just have a private word with him.

 

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Talking it over
Mr Owen, who is in his 50s and works in the energy business, said: "I'd probably talk to him and tell him that he should find a more appropriate place to do such things. Our kids are growing up in a very different world today and parents have to understand this.
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"I think I'd be more worried about the age at which my children start to engage in these activities rather than where they are doing it."
<TABLE width=120 align=left><TBODY><TR><TD class=bodytext width="100%">Related link:
» Sex educators must face up to reality</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
Mr Harry Low, a senior counsellor at the National University of Singapore, said such behaviour is a manifestation of the social changes affecting Singapore.
"Singaporeans in general are changing. Before, getting pregnant before you get married was not acceptable at all. Now, you see a lot more people doing it and of course, teenagers are influenced by this change in values as well."
He added that the fact that more and more people are sending such pictures to Stomp doesn't necessarily mean that more youths are behaving badly in public.
Mr Low said: "It can also mean that Singaporeans are carrying better phones and can send such pictures much faster.
"Our mentality has changed as a result of these new phones. We have become more voyeuristic."
This article was first published in The New Paper.