Sex not the solution

[MarrickG]

Dear Thelma

I AM in my mid-30s, married for over 10 years and have two sons, aged seven and nine. My husband and I stopped having sex after our second boy was born. He had some erectile dysfunction problems then, but has since admitted to sleeping with prostitutes. That devastated me.

I am no longer attracted to him and there is no way we will ever have sex again. Other than that, we do have a good relationship and everyone thinks we have the perfect marriage.

These past few months have been quite life-changing. I have been going out with a number of men, both married and single. Currently I have a sexual relationship with a bachelor over 10 years my junior. We are both in it for the sex.

This is not my first extra-marital affair. I was previously involved in an emotional and sexual affair for a few years. The irony is that I feel no guilt over any of my activities. In fact, I feel recharged, liberated and wonderfully overwhelmed.

I know it is not all about sex. But mine has been a loveless, meaningless marriage that’s full of deceit and pretence. I want a real marriage! I want sex to be part of the equation!

Should I give up on marriage and give myself a chance to find love again? Or should I just carry on with this facade, and continue having sex with different partners?

Love and Sex

 

[Pica_NA]

marriage is not all about sex.... but i agree that sex contribute a small portion in marriage...

standing from her perspective, what she is doing is not wrong or right, because, she just finding another way to release her tension, both emontionally and physically.... and also she is seeking revenge on her husband.... BUT, she forgot that her husband looks for paid sex... doesn't mean he is emontionally betrayed her... he is only looking for an alternative to release his tension.... physically ONLY.... She had betrayed herself and her marriage by sleeping around with strangers... this is worse than her husband...

 

[annexa]

A lot of families in Singapore no sex. HDB too small, no space. HDB and rice too expensive, work until no time and energy to have sex. When married couples no have sex with each other, one part of marry is missing. And that will lead to unhappy people at work, in life. Then blame each other, then divorce rate go up. The poor kids. No wonder people don't want stay Singapore too long.

 

[zuoom]

sex not the solution, but it seems that's the centre of the issue.

 

[Kuailan]

sex not the solution, but it seems that's the centre of the issue.

Today at wowrk place ppl are over stressed and high pressure like a vacumm
chamber, go alreaady half dead, no more energy left where got stamina for sex.

Every part of the body already wears off, disfunction. Cock also can't take it any more. This lady is right if husband can screw around she can do the same, i won't mind to be one of her sexual partner. Got to feel the different.

 

[GoFlyKiteNow]

marriage is not all about sex.... but i agree that sex contribute a small portion in marriage...

standing from her perspective, what she is doing is not wrong or right, because, she just finding another way to release her tension, both emontionally and physically.... and also she is seeking revenge on her husband.... BUT, she forgot that her husband looks for paid sex... doesn't mean he is emontionally betrayed her... he is only looking for an alternative to release his tension.... physically ONLY.... She had betrayed herself and her marriage by sleeping around with strangers... this is worse than her husband...

You are right.
Most women actually look for an excuse as a reason
even before they go off at the moral ethical tangent and then
mentally condition themselves repeatedly after that, as a way
to continue down that same path.

 

[scoobyhoo]

why not? i have fcuk many sg women indirectly saving their marriages. many of them are professionals and well educated.

 

[streetsmart73]

marriage is not all about sex.... but i agree that sex contribute a small portion in marriage...

standing from her perspective, what she is doing is not wrong or right, because, she just finding another way to release her tension, both emontionally and physically.... and also she is seeking revenge on her husband.... BUT, she forgot that her husband looks for paid sex... doesn't mean he is emontionally betrayed her... he is only looking for an alternative to release his tension.... physically ONLY.... She had betrayed herself and her marriage by sleeping around with strangers... this is worse than her husband...

hi there


1. the woman is not just a bitch also a whore.
2. giving reasons and exonerating herself for having sex with guys.
3. honest, she should have the guts to accept and admit that she is plain horny and any dick will fit.
4. but not crying "rape" after she has used the guy up.

 

[po2wq]

ah thelma's reply ...

IF your husband could have sex with prostitutes, then he was not sexually dysfunctional. And if you feel trapped in a very unhappy marriage that is meaningless, deceitful and empty, why hang on? Walk out tomorrow and plan for your divorce.

Do not kid yourself about feeling good, recharged, guiltless, liberated and overwhelmed after using men for sex. Having sex without love will eventually fill you with disgust and self-hate.

You are not alone, without responsibilities. You need to guide your children to a better path for a brighter future. If you want love and marriage again, then you must be fair to your partner. Using someone for sex is worse than paying for physical release, especially when there seems to be spite and vengeance in your actions. Sure, there are many willing men who prefer sex without commitment. But are you truly happy or is it pay-back time for your misery and bitterness?

Understand your own psyche so you do not go for a free fall. You want love and a happily-ever-after marriage. So give yourself this chance to find fulfilment and tenderness.

 

[Gallego99]

You are right.
Most women actually look for an excuse as a reason
even before they go off at the moral ethical tangent and then
mentally condition themselves repeatedly after that, as a way
to continue down that same path.

Bro, MEN do it too. Sama-sama lar.

 

[fattychin]

What about your two kids? They are young now but in a few years time they will reach their teens and understand things better. So stop feeling for yourself and pay more attention to your kids. Sacrifice the sex urge. YOu will never know if you will get AIDS.

 

[Equalisation]

why not? i have fcuk many sg women indirectly saving their marriages. many of them are professionals and well educated.

... i also same like you. i help the vegetable seller at the wet market by fucking his wife to save their marriage ... incidentally, i am the pork seller there ....:o

 

[annexa]

Mr Teekee will ask her to pray.

 

[Watchman]

Top 10 reasons why there are no sex scandals in Singapore...

10. Can't even be naked in own home, how to have sex?
9. Ah Lians don't exactly turn our leaders on.
8. Our leaders are cloned; no need for sex.
7. Hotels in Geylang no longer allowed to rent out rooms by the hour.
6. Sex not one of the 5 C's.
5. Oral sex still illegal in Singapore.
4. SPGs only go for foreigners.
3. Kiasee - don't want to get AIDS
2. Amended Women's Charter can bankrupt adulterous men.
1. And the number one reason why there are no sex scandals...Still confused over condoms and condos.

 

[RonRon]

IF your husband could have sex with prostitutes, then he was not sexually dysfunctional. And if you feel trapped in a very unhappy marriage that is meaningless, deceitful and empty, why hang on? Walk out tomorrow and plan for your divorce.

Do not kid yourself about feeling good, recharged, guiltless, liberated and overwhelmed after using men for sex. Having sex without love will eventually fill you with disgust and self-hate.

You are not alone, without responsibilities. You need to guide your children to a better path for a brighter future. If you want love and marriage again, then you must be fair to your partner. Using someone for sex is worse than paying for physical release, especially when there seems to be spite and vengeance in your actions. Sure, there are many willing men who prefer sex without commitment. But are you truly happy or is it pay-back time for your misery and bitterness?

Understand your own psyche so you do not go for a free fall. You want love and a happily-ever-after marriage. So give yourself this chance to find fulfilment and tenderness.

 

[SamuelStalin]

marriage is not all about sex.... but i agree that sex contribute a small portion in marriage...

Marriage is about blackmail, wearing fancy zebra outfits and being behind bars.

 

[shelltox]

In the first place, man and woman are supposed to procreate and mulitply just like the animal kingdom.
It is only that man goes through a ceremony and have to solemnise the marriage by someone important other than that we are in for the sex.
You have pubic hair around your genital area to trap hormones during your fertile period so that the opp sex would notice you.

 

[Jabba]

Sex is not the solution...it is the problem...

 

[Pica_NA]

sex is part of the solution... not the entire solution to marriage... marriage is make up of too many factors and till date, no one can said he/she knows and practice all factors.....

however, sex is the solution to poverty, it helps manys to survive and also help countries to grow ..... HAHA....

 

[MarrickG]

Man need to get sex before he will give out love...

As for this man, he does not have erectile dysfunction problems, he just got bored of his wife. That is why he could not get the little guy to look up but has not problem with other gals.