• IP addresses are NOT logged in this forum so there's no point asking. Please note that this forum is full of homophobes, racists, lunatics, schizophrenics & absolute nut jobs with a smattering of geniuses, Chinese chauvinists, Moderate Muslims and last but not least a couple of "know-it-alls" constantly sprouting their dubious wisdom. If you believe that content generated by unsavory characters might cause you offense PLEASE LEAVE NOW! Sammyboy Admin and Staff are not responsible for your hurt feelings should you choose to read any of the content here.

    The OTHER forum is HERE so please stop asking.

School calls cops on pesky mum

metalslug

Alfrescian
Loyal
http://tnp.sg/news/story/0,4136,208036,00.html?

SCHOOL CALLS COPS ON PESKY MUM
Principal: Going to police was my last resort
By Benita Aw Yeong

July 18, 2009

NP_IMAGES_BYBAN-TKJ.jpg

TNP PICTURE: GAVIN FOO

SHE has lunch with her daughter at school every day.

She makes frequent calls to the school about administrative and academic matters, demanding immediate action based on her wishes.

She even sends text messages to her daughter's teacher to find out about tiny details of what happens in class.

Sometimes she even shows up in her daughter's Primary 2 class, disturbing other students.

All because she insists her daughter can't handle school life without her help.

It has become so bad that other parents have raised concerns about their daughters' safety after witnessing this mother's behaviour.

Her seeming obsession with her daughter made her presence so disruptive that the school had to call the police twice, on 29 Jun and 1 Jul.

The mother, Ms Mary (not her real name) claims she was told she could be arrested if she bothers the school again.

We are not identifying her to protect her daughter from embarrassment.

The unemployed single mother said she has been going to the school daily to buy lunch for her daughter since the latter started school.

Needs help

She claims her daughter, 7, needs help to get food at the school canteen.

'All I wanted to do was to assist my child. Instead, I was told by the operations manager that nobody 'does such things',' she said.

Ms Mary claimed she then called the quality service hotline of the Ministry of Education (MOE) to request that she be allowed to be with her daughter in school after school is dismissed. She claimed the principal approved this.

But the principal said no such special approval was granted as there were no medical grounds to justify Ms Mary's daily presence in the school.

'We have girls who have problems moving around, or with heart conditions. For these cases, it is perfectly legitimate for parents to be there to help carry a child's schoolbag, and so on,' the principal said.

'There was no such reason for her to constantly be by her daughter's side.'

Ms Mary claimed the school management is biased against her, and said the police action on 1Jul was uncalled for.

The principal said the police were called in because 'she refused to leave the school'.

Ms Mary said the police officer warned her that he would 'take action', which she took to mean arrest if she continued visiting the school without permission.

The principal explained: 'We have never told her that she is banned from the school. However, she has regularly refused to comply with requirements to register at the school's security counter when she visits the school.'

Ms Mary also refused to leave even after meeting her child's teacher or the school admin staff and would disturb other children on some occasions, the principal said.

'Strong message'

'As she refused to leave the school, I requested police assistance. It was the police's suggestion to send a strong message to her after she refused to leave.'

The police confirmed that they had received a call for assistance from the school on 29 Jun and 1Jul.

'Upon the request of the school, police advised the lady to leave the school premises and she left thereafter,' a police spokesman said.

The principal said she valued the partnership of parents highly, and calling the police was a 'last resort'.

She added that other parents who have witnessed Ms Mary's behaviour have also expressed concern and asked for tighter security measures in the school.

'On several occasions, Ms Mary entered our classrooms, and we had to tell her to leave. Often, she did not heed our requests,' said the principal.

Since Primary 1, Ms Mary's daughter has been under the MOE's and the school's financial assistance scheme. This provides her with free uniforms, sports attire, transport costs and daily meals.

Meal coupons, given out every Monday morning, can be exchanged for food at the canteen. Each child is entitled to three coupons a day, which expire if not used.

Ms Mary claimed: 'My daughter has no time to collect the coupons and have her breakfast after that.

'Also, there were occasions when she went to the office but did not come back with the coupons. I'm not sure why.

'Maybe she's a bit slow and doesn't know how to express herself properly, or the usual admin staff weren't present.'

In response to her feedback, the principal arranged for the girl to collect the coupons on Friday after school and her form teacher makes sure she gets them.

The principal said the breakfast coupons issued to Ms Mary's daughter were often unused, because she arrived in school just in time for assembly.

She said that when the admin staff asked if they could stop printing the breakfast coupons to minimise wastage, Ms Mary got agitated.

Ms Mary also complained that components of her daughter's test papers were not returned for her to check.

When queried about the issues raised by Ms Mary, the principal said: 'Since early last year, Ms Mary has made almost daily calls to the school, especially to her daughter's teachers, questioning the school in all professional areas as well as administrative matters.

'Ms Mary would demand that the teachers and support staff address all her concerns immediately.

'This has caused distress and taken up valuable time which could otherwise be given to the welfare of all pupils.'
 

metalslug

Alfrescian
Loyal
http://tnp.sg/news/story/0,4136,208035,00.html?

Experts: Anxious parents can do more harm than good
July 18, 2009




PARENTS need to learn how to let go of their children, say psychiatrists.

Although well-intentioned, the constant presence of parents at school may do more harm than good.

Child psychiatrist Brian Yeo told The New Paper: 'Ultimately, you want the child to have a regular school experience.


'(A parent) going to school all the time may be counter-productive if it leads to the school or peers identifying the child as different.'

Empathising with parents who don't want to miss their child's first milestones, he said: 'Most parents would like to be present during a child's early years.

'It's normal for them to sit in at school for about a week, but if you are in the school environment with the child too much, he or she may be viewed as different by peers, making things even more awkward for them.

'In the case of Ms Mary, part of her over-protective behaviour might stem from insecurity, or issues and problems that she is facing.'

Dr Yeo had this advice for parents: 'If you're very concerned about your child who may have had a traumatic experience at home, such as a divorce, you can visit him or her sporadically, or get feedback from a teacher.

'Getting an older sibling to look out for the child, (if he or she is enrolled in the same school) is also a good idea.'

Psychologist Danny Ng says parents need to give their children space to cultivate basic social and interaction skills.

'Many people think that school is just about curriculum, but it's really a lot about imparting socialisation skills and independence,' he said.

'Adapting to school life is part of a child's maturation and development of independence.

'Decisions like what to eat and how to queue up are important skills. Even making friends is hard to do when parents are around.

He added that being in school beyond the first week may hinder the child's development.

'Maybe we need a support network for anxious parents, rather than for children,' he said with a laugh.
 

SamuelStalin

Alfrescian
Loyal
But the principal said no such special approval was granted as there were no medical grounds to justify Ms Mary's daily presence in the school.

Yes and no. Ms Mary's daily presence in the school is not justified, but there ARE possible medical grounds for her prohibition.

Because she's crazy, and she being there may do eventual harm to the teachers and the other students.
 

scroobal

Alfrescian
Loyal
Reminds me of our Minister Mentor, the old man who after 50 years, still wants to stay in the Istana, still want to be in Cabinet... He still thinks that he has to look after Singaporeans who he probabaly thinks are 7 years old and need his constant presence.
 

kensington

Alfrescian
Loyal
Reminds me of our Minister Mentor, the old man who after 50 years, still wants to stay in the Istana, still want to be in Cabinet... He still thinks that he has to look after Singaporeans who he probabaly thinks are 7 years old and need his constant presence.

NO lah, actually Lee sr. is looking after his daughter, Ah Loong :p
 

borom

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
I'm surprised TNP has not presented anything on the family background -other than saying Mary is an unemployed single mother.
If she is unemployed, who is supporting them and what happened to the child's father-is he paying child maintenance? No attempt seems to be made to find out whether the child has medical or learning problems for the mother to be so anxious.Such cases usually do not occur without other sociological/financial
(economic)/medical reasons.

I also find it strange that the mother can wonder around the school and even enter the classrooms. So far all the primary schools I know do not allow adults/parents to enter the school premises and parents/relatives have to drop off their kids/pick them up outside the school gate.
If the school had implemented proper security measures, such incidents will not even occur-wonder why the reporter did not look into this.
 

johnny333

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
Actually this is not an isolated case, schools have to lock their gates to keep out the doting family.

Decades ago while I was still schooling. it was common to see parents hanging around during recesss :smile:

When my colleague goes on business trips, his wife insists on comming along to watch over :biggrin:
 

KuanTi01

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
My sympathies lie with the child for having a "siao" mother who can't cope with loneliness and loss. That's why she's so focussed/obsessed with her child. Give her the school uniform and she'll gladly attend classes with her daughter as well! The poor child is totally dependent on her and she has no choice. From the report, it's obvious the mother is erratic, irritating, meddlesome and suffering from low esteem, a single parent and broke. So many problems!A disaster in the making or a ticking time bomb!:mad::(

Where's the MP, CDC, CDAC, MYCS, NTUC, SOS ? Someone needs your assistance.
 

KuanTi01

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
Quote:"hmm... Tink the mother had overdo it but why didnt the daughter have any objections to her mum's behavior'

Yo! daughter only pri 1; 7 years old!:biggrin:
 
Top