<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR>Maids from hell
</TR><!-- headline one : end --><TR>Cases of child abuse revealed usually when kids are mature enough to talk about it </TR><!-- Author --><TR><TD class="padlrt8 georgia11 darkgrey bold" colSpan=2>By Estelle Low
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As a child, Sandra was abused by her maid for eight years. Her mother found out about it only after the Filipino maid had left for home. -- ST PHOTO: DESMOND LIM
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<!-- START OF : div id="storytext"--><!-- more than 4 paragraphs -->A recent YouTube video clip showed a maid abusing a toddler in Malaysia.
The two-minute clip, posted on Straits Times' online portal Stomp on April 2, got netizens here asking: How prevalent is such child abuse?
<TABLE width=200 align=left valign="top"><TBODY><TR><TD class=padr8><!-- Vodcast --><!-- Background Story --><STYLE type=text/css> #related .quote {background-color:#E7F7FF; padding:8px;margin:0px 0px 5px 0px;} #related .quote .headline {font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:10px;font-weight:bold; border-bottom:3px double #007BFF; color:#036; text-transform:uppercase; padding-bottom:5px;} #related .quote .text {font-size:11px;color:#036;padding:5px 0px;} </STYLE>TELL-TALE SIGNS
Some indicators that may suggest an emotionally or psychologically abused child:
Aggressive, destructive or violent behaviour
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>Private school student Sandra (not her real name), now 18, was a victim of child abuse by her maid for eight years.
It started when she was five, soon after her working parents got a Filipino maid to care for her and her then nine-year-old sister.
Sandra said the maid first gained her parents' trust by appearing to be caring.
Then each time the girls did not finish their food, she caned them. That was not all.
'Once, she took a chopper and chased my sister around the house when she came home late from school,' Sandra said.
That happened when the girls were 14 and 10.
Emboldened, the maid moonlighted as a housekeeper elsewhere. Sandra had to tag along at times - to help mop and sweep the floor. She also made Sandra steal money from her mother.
'If I didn't help her, she would make me massage her for an hour before I could sleep,' she said.
The maid had lovers too. She would take Sandra along for her trysts at their houses for two to three hours a few times each week.
A quiet child, Sandra did not dare inform her parents.
'The memories have stayed with me ever since. I have been traumatised until now. But at least I learnt how to do housework,' she said.
Mrs Lim, 51, Sandra's mother, learnt of the abuse only after the maid had returned to the Philippines.
'Sandra was a quiet child. I didn't suspect she was being ill-treated because I trusted the maid,' she said.
Besides, the maid had made sure there were no visible scars on the girls, other than superficial bruises.
Experts here say such cases are brought to light only when children are mature enough to talk about them.
Psychologist Daniel Koh said he sees four to five cases of maids abusing children each year, adding that abused children are usually preschoolers.
'Younger kids tend to suffer in silence. It depends on how fast the child can verbalise the abuse. Some kids are quite grown up but their ability to verbalise is still poor,' he said.
Last year, he counselled a five-year-old boy who was pinched by his maid whenever he did not listen to her. His parents, who noticed the pinch marks, eventually found out after installing a security camera at home.
Such abuse cases can stem from frustration or stress, experts told The Sunday Times.
A resentful maid may sometimes lash out at the child. Also, some maids tend to be controlling.
Maids who are abusive tend to do so when they can get away with it, said Ms Sheena Jebal, principal psychologist and CEO of Nulife Care and Counselling.
'It depends on how much the maid is allowed to take things into her own hands. When she goes overboard, it becomes abuse,' she said.
Agreeing, Dr Ken Ung, a psychiatrist at Adam Road Medical Centre, said parents should also be careful not to hand over family commitments to the maid.
He said: 'There's a very fine line between emotional abuse and discipline.'
Under the Children and Young Person's Act, anyone who attempts to or causes injury or suffering to a child faces a sentence of up to four years or a fine of up to $4,000 or both.
Currently, there are about 190,000 foreign domestic workers in Singapore.
[email protected] Would you allow your maid to discipline your child? Have your say at www.straitstimes.com
</TR><!-- headline one : end --><TR>Cases of child abuse revealed usually when kids are mature enough to talk about it </TR><!-- Author --><TR><TD class="padlrt8 georgia11 darkgrey bold" colSpan=2>By Estelle Low
</TD></TR><!-- show image if available --><TR vAlign=bottom><TD width=330>
</TD><TD width=10>
As a child, Sandra was abused by her maid for eight years. Her mother found out about it only after the Filipino maid had left for home. -- ST PHOTO: DESMOND LIM
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
<!-- START OF : div id="storytext"--><!-- more than 4 paragraphs -->A recent YouTube video clip showed a maid abusing a toddler in Malaysia.
The two-minute clip, posted on Straits Times' online portal Stomp on April 2, got netizens here asking: How prevalent is such child abuse?
<TABLE width=200 align=left valign="top"><TBODY><TR><TD class=padr8><!-- Vodcast --><!-- Background Story --><STYLE type=text/css> #related .quote {background-color:#E7F7FF; padding:8px;margin:0px 0px 5px 0px;} #related .quote .headline {font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:10px;font-weight:bold; border-bottom:3px double #007BFF; color:#036; text-transform:uppercase; padding-bottom:5px;} #related .quote .text {font-size:11px;color:#036;padding:5px 0px;} </STYLE>TELL-TALE SIGNS
Some indicators that may suggest an emotionally or psychologically abused child:
Aggressive, destructive or violent behaviour
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>Private school student Sandra (not her real name), now 18, was a victim of child abuse by her maid for eight years.
It started when she was five, soon after her working parents got a Filipino maid to care for her and her then nine-year-old sister.
Sandra said the maid first gained her parents' trust by appearing to be caring.
Then each time the girls did not finish their food, she caned them. That was not all.
'Once, she took a chopper and chased my sister around the house when she came home late from school,' Sandra said.
That happened when the girls were 14 and 10.
Emboldened, the maid moonlighted as a housekeeper elsewhere. Sandra had to tag along at times - to help mop and sweep the floor. She also made Sandra steal money from her mother.
'If I didn't help her, she would make me massage her for an hour before I could sleep,' she said.
The maid had lovers too. She would take Sandra along for her trysts at their houses for two to three hours a few times each week.
A quiet child, Sandra did not dare inform her parents.
'The memories have stayed with me ever since. I have been traumatised until now. But at least I learnt how to do housework,' she said.
Mrs Lim, 51, Sandra's mother, learnt of the abuse only after the maid had returned to the Philippines.
'Sandra was a quiet child. I didn't suspect she was being ill-treated because I trusted the maid,' she said.
Besides, the maid had made sure there were no visible scars on the girls, other than superficial bruises.
Experts here say such cases are brought to light only when children are mature enough to talk about them.
Psychologist Daniel Koh said he sees four to five cases of maids abusing children each year, adding that abused children are usually preschoolers.
'Younger kids tend to suffer in silence. It depends on how fast the child can verbalise the abuse. Some kids are quite grown up but their ability to verbalise is still poor,' he said.
Last year, he counselled a five-year-old boy who was pinched by his maid whenever he did not listen to her. His parents, who noticed the pinch marks, eventually found out after installing a security camera at home.
Such abuse cases can stem from frustration or stress, experts told The Sunday Times.
A resentful maid may sometimes lash out at the child. Also, some maids tend to be controlling.
Maids who are abusive tend to do so when they can get away with it, said Ms Sheena Jebal, principal psychologist and CEO of Nulife Care and Counselling.
'It depends on how much the maid is allowed to take things into her own hands. When she goes overboard, it becomes abuse,' she said.
Agreeing, Dr Ken Ung, a psychiatrist at Adam Road Medical Centre, said parents should also be careful not to hand over family commitments to the maid.
He said: 'There's a very fine line between emotional abuse and discipline.'
Under the Children and Young Person's Act, anyone who attempts to or causes injury or suffering to a child faces a sentence of up to four years or a fine of up to $4,000 or both.
Currently, there are about 190,000 foreign domestic workers in Singapore.
[email protected] Would you allow your maid to discipline your child? Have your say at www.straitstimes.com
