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Coffeeshop Chit Chat - ST reporter's mum married an angmo...</TD><TD id=msgunetc noWrap align=right>
Subscribe </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE><TABLE class=msgtable cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="96%"><TBODY><TR><TD class=msg vAlign=top><TABLE border=0 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%"><TBODY><TR class=msghead><TD class=msgbfr1 width="1%"> </TD><TD><TABLE border=0 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0><TBODY><TR class=msghead><TD class=msgF width="1%" noWrap align=right>From: </TD><TD class=msgFname width="68%" noWrap>kojakbt22 <NOBR>
</NOBR> </TD><TD class=msgDate width="30%" noWrap align=right>Jul-20 3:45 am </TD></TR><TR class=msghead><TD class=msgT height=20 width="1%" noWrap align=right>To: </TD><TD class=msgTname width="68%" noWrap>ALL <NOBR></NOBR></TD><TD class=msgNum noWrap align=right> (1 of 18) </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR><TR><TD class=msgleft rowSpan=4 width="1%"> </TD><TD class=wintiny noWrap align=right>17269.1 </TD></TR><TR><TD height=8></TD></TR><TR><TD class=msgtxt><TABLE border=0 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%"><TBODY><TR><TD>July 20, 2009
SOAPBOX
</TD></TR><TR><TD><!-- headline one : start --></TD></TR><TR><TD>Chilli sauce on Yorkshire pudding? Ah, diversity
</TD></TR><TR><TD><!-- headline one : end --></TD></TR><TR><TD>It's time that families crossing the East-West divide get a how-to kit </TD></TR><TR><TD><!-- Author --></TD></TR><TR><TD class="padlrt8 georgia11 darkgrey bold" colSpan=2>By Jessica Lim </TD></TR><TR><TD><!-- show image if available --></TD></TR><TR vAlign=bottom><TD width=330>
</TD><TD width=10>
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
<!-- START OF : div id="storytext"--><!-- more than 4 paragraphs -->HERE'S my idea for a follow-up to the recent 'beautifully imperfect' campaign to inspire couplehood: A sequel, for a 'beautifully imperfect' family.
After all, it seems logical for one to lead to the other, a point that struck me at a recent wedding I attended.
There, the bride - a Chinese woman in her mid-50s - was saying 'I do' to an Englishman.
Each has three adult children from a previous marriage; among them, yours truly.
As I raised my glass to the new couple, I wondered how I would now navigate this East meets West take on The Brady Bunch.
Even in a traditionally homogenous family unit, learning to understand each other can take a lifetime. My own parents took years to figure out it wasn't family holidays that we kids hated, but the uncountable museums and temples they dragged us to.
Now, I see an infinitely more complex web evolving with my new family dynamics, a situation that I am sure represents many other diverse families here.
Sure, we understand the figures and statistics. We can rattle off age- and gender-specific marriage rates, durations, number of divorces, re-marriages, median age at first marriage - that sort of empirical data.
But numbers don't tell us how to interact in a given situation. That calls for sound advice, good counsel and a platform for discussion.
For instance, how do you tell a Briton you think Yorkshire pudding could do with some chilli sauce? Or joke about how the Singapore Flyer is better than the London Eye? What if your new stepsibling fancies your sister? Is dating out of the question? How do you call your stepfather by his first name?
It's time for a manual - a how-to guide on forging new bonds with your cross-cultural, newly added extended family.
How about a starter kit to help them understand why we're obsessed with shopping? Or getting them to be honest about what they really think of your chomping on chicken feet at dim sum?
Given the potential for misunderstanding and being inadvertently offensive, such a manual would be invaluable - in my case, it would certainly be well thumbed through.
Citizens of of the United States seem ahead of the game.
Future brides of American soldiers based in South Korea are taught how to roast a Thanksgiving turkey - a crucial American custom.
Meanwhile, in New York, public talks focus on the social arrangements in an interracial second marriage, during which couples are taught the inherent differences between their cultures and how to deal with prejudice.
Here in Singapore, so much more can be done to accept and embrace the changing shape of the Singaporean family.
Certainly, my mother and stepfather will agree.
Three weeks ago, they were given a present after they exchanged their vows at the Registry of Marriages (ROM) - two books on how to make babies.
When my stepfather suggested that perhaps their child-bearing days were over, the officer glanced at his thinning hair, fumbled, then offered this alternative: give the books to someone else.
But how about these alternative titles for the ROM to consider: Success And Your Second Marriage, When Asian Venus Meets Western Mars. Or even, Who Moved My Family?
They could at least promise to be more useful.
In the meantime, I and others like myself will just have to rely on trial, error and good ol' luck.
Yam seng? That means to drink to success, I explained to my somewhat lost-looking stepbrother at the wedding. 'Shout it three times in a row with increasing volume.'
And with that, we could be off to a good start.
[email protected]
[email protected]
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></CENTER>
SOAPBOX
</TD></TR><TR><TD><!-- headline one : start --></TD></TR><TR><TD>Chilli sauce on Yorkshire pudding? Ah, diversity
</TD></TR><TR><TD><!-- headline one : end --></TD></TR><TR><TD>It's time that families crossing the East-West divide get a how-to kit </TD></TR><TR><TD><!-- Author --></TD></TR><TR><TD class="padlrt8 georgia11 darkgrey bold" colSpan=2>By Jessica Lim </TD></TR><TR><TD><!-- show image if available --></TD></TR><TR vAlign=bottom><TD width=330>
</TD><TD width=10>
<!-- START OF : div id="storytext"--><!-- more than 4 paragraphs -->HERE'S my idea for a follow-up to the recent 'beautifully imperfect' campaign to inspire couplehood: A sequel, for a 'beautifully imperfect' family.
After all, it seems logical for one to lead to the other, a point that struck me at a recent wedding I attended.
There, the bride - a Chinese woman in her mid-50s - was saying 'I do' to an Englishman.
Each has three adult children from a previous marriage; among them, yours truly.
As I raised my glass to the new couple, I wondered how I would now navigate this East meets West take on The Brady Bunch.
Even in a traditionally homogenous family unit, learning to understand each other can take a lifetime. My own parents took years to figure out it wasn't family holidays that we kids hated, but the uncountable museums and temples they dragged us to.
Now, I see an infinitely more complex web evolving with my new family dynamics, a situation that I am sure represents many other diverse families here.
Sure, we understand the figures and statistics. We can rattle off age- and gender-specific marriage rates, durations, number of divorces, re-marriages, median age at first marriage - that sort of empirical data.
But numbers don't tell us how to interact in a given situation. That calls for sound advice, good counsel and a platform for discussion.
For instance, how do you tell a Briton you think Yorkshire pudding could do with some chilli sauce? Or joke about how the Singapore Flyer is better than the London Eye? What if your new stepsibling fancies your sister? Is dating out of the question? How do you call your stepfather by his first name?
It's time for a manual - a how-to guide on forging new bonds with your cross-cultural, newly added extended family.
How about a starter kit to help them understand why we're obsessed with shopping? Or getting them to be honest about what they really think of your chomping on chicken feet at dim sum?
Given the potential for misunderstanding and being inadvertently offensive, such a manual would be invaluable - in my case, it would certainly be well thumbed through.
Citizens of of the United States seem ahead of the game.
Future brides of American soldiers based in South Korea are taught how to roast a Thanksgiving turkey - a crucial American custom.
Meanwhile, in New York, public talks focus on the social arrangements in an interracial second marriage, during which couples are taught the inherent differences between their cultures and how to deal with prejudice.
Here in Singapore, so much more can be done to accept and embrace the changing shape of the Singaporean family.
Certainly, my mother and stepfather will agree.
Three weeks ago, they were given a present after they exchanged their vows at the Registry of Marriages (ROM) - two books on how to make babies.
When my stepfather suggested that perhaps their child-bearing days were over, the officer glanced at his thinning hair, fumbled, then offered this alternative: give the books to someone else.
But how about these alternative titles for the ROM to consider: Success And Your Second Marriage, When Asian Venus Meets Western Mars. Or even, Who Moved My Family?
They could at least promise to be more useful.
In the meantime, I and others like myself will just have to rely on trial, error and good ol' luck.
Yam seng? That means to drink to success, I explained to my somewhat lost-looking stepbrother at the wedding. 'Shout it three times in a row with increasing volume.'
And with that, we could be off to a good start.
[email protected]
[email protected]
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></CENTER>
