Part A - Applies to Asian Foreigners
1. Say thank you when a good deed is done that benefits you such as receiving directions when you ask for it or when a lift door or gate is held for you to enter or leave
2. Speak at a reasonable volume especially in a confined space such as in the MRT, bus or lift so that others are not aware that you having a torrid relationship with your sister-in-law or you have asked someones's else maid to do your shopping.
3. Don't stand at the entrance or exit point of anything including public toilets
4. Please greet and compliment an NS man when you spot him
5. Note that riding a bicycle on a pedestrian pathways, corridors and pathway meant for human traffic is punishable by death under the Civilian Code of Conduct
6. Please control your kids at least to the standards of behaviour you see at our Zoo.
7. Practice the art of queueing the next day after your arrival in Singapore. Its a mindset and requires at least 2 weeks of continous practice.
Part B - Applies to Caucasian Foreigners
1. Do share with us the latest government policies, benefits and entitlements and impendings that you are told of or consulted
2. Please do not book in advance all leave before and after public holidays for the next 2 years in your respective workplace. Do consider that locals would like a share as well.
3. Please stick to the quota of 3 local girls per year. This also applies to female caucasian foreigners who adopt the butch role only. Quotas do not apply to male locals for all persuasions
4. When invited to the home of a local who you have met for the first time, please be circumspect about your background if you could not get a job back home, cash strapped or have not passed your o levels. Just keep up appearences
5. There is no expectation on you to integrate or allow locals into your circle. This is a waiver that is seldom granted as we know how difficult it is to interact with another species
6. Do read up on the curse of the CPF spinster. The curse applies to all those who are attracted by the sizeable CPF funds held by our matured single ladies
7. If bashed by a local, please do not keep that rage within you. Do lodge a police report as they are obliged to handle all cases.
8. Bathing is an everyday event in all tropcal and humid countries. It is not an option not to bath.
Part C - For Locals
1. Our gripe is with the Old man and the PAP
2. Welcome all foreigners and treat them well unless the civilian code for conduct is breeched
3. Foreigners who walk away without thanking you after seeking your assistance are entitled to receive one mild abusive swear word to be heard for 2 kms.
4. Foreigners who queue for roti prata, kway teow and other popular local fare must be a given a mandatory broad smile. Those with false teeth can reduce width of smile
5. Foreigners who clearly are unable to control their kids are be given immediate assistance by providing contact details of Bernard Harrison.
6. Do make an attempt to strike up a conversation with all foreigners. We need them for the revolution
7. Please do not use the common local retort "suck my dick" in a conversation with Caucasian Foreigners as this may be interpreted literally
8. Avoid teaching all foreigners including asians and caucasians hokkein swear words. When repeated in their respective accents, one can only roll and laugh.
9. Lastly, as agreed by the brotherhood of all nations, Americans must continue to believe that Al Qaeda is in Iraq and English is only spoken there.
1. Say thank you when a good deed is done that benefits you such as receiving directions when you ask for it or when a lift door or gate is held for you to enter or leave
2. Speak at a reasonable volume especially in a confined space such as in the MRT, bus or lift so that others are not aware that you having a torrid relationship with your sister-in-law or you have asked someones's else maid to do your shopping.
3. Don't stand at the entrance or exit point of anything including public toilets
4. Please greet and compliment an NS man when you spot him
5. Note that riding a bicycle on a pedestrian pathways, corridors and pathway meant for human traffic is punishable by death under the Civilian Code of Conduct
6. Please control your kids at least to the standards of behaviour you see at our Zoo.
7. Practice the art of queueing the next day after your arrival in Singapore. Its a mindset and requires at least 2 weeks of continous practice.
Part B - Applies to Caucasian Foreigners
1. Do share with us the latest government policies, benefits and entitlements and impendings that you are told of or consulted
2. Please do not book in advance all leave before and after public holidays for the next 2 years in your respective workplace. Do consider that locals would like a share as well.
3. Please stick to the quota of 3 local girls per year. This also applies to female caucasian foreigners who adopt the butch role only. Quotas do not apply to male locals for all persuasions
4. When invited to the home of a local who you have met for the first time, please be circumspect about your background if you could not get a job back home, cash strapped or have not passed your o levels. Just keep up appearences
5. There is no expectation on you to integrate or allow locals into your circle. This is a waiver that is seldom granted as we know how difficult it is to interact with another species
6. Do read up on the curse of the CPF spinster. The curse applies to all those who are attracted by the sizeable CPF funds held by our matured single ladies
7. If bashed by a local, please do not keep that rage within you. Do lodge a police report as they are obliged to handle all cases.
8. Bathing is an everyday event in all tropcal and humid countries. It is not an option not to bath.
Part C - For Locals
1. Our gripe is with the Old man and the PAP
2. Welcome all foreigners and treat them well unless the civilian code for conduct is breeched
3. Foreigners who walk away without thanking you after seeking your assistance are entitled to receive one mild abusive swear word to be heard for 2 kms.
4. Foreigners who queue for roti prata, kway teow and other popular local fare must be a given a mandatory broad smile. Those with false teeth can reduce width of smile
5. Foreigners who clearly are unable to control their kids are be given immediate assistance by providing contact details of Bernard Harrison.
6. Do make an attempt to strike up a conversation with all foreigners. We need them for the revolution
7. Please do not use the common local retort "suck my dick" in a conversation with Caucasian Foreigners as this may be interpreted literally
8. Avoid teaching all foreigners including asians and caucasians hokkein swear words. When repeated in their respective accents, one can only roll and laugh.
9. Lastly, as agreed by the brotherhood of all nations, Americans must continue to believe that Al Qaeda is in Iraq and English is only spoken there.
