- Joined
- Sep 29, 2024
- Messages
- 134
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- 28
I refer to the letter “Children should be well behaved in public” (Jan 1) in which the writer appears to assume that a child misbehaving is the result of poor parenting practices.
As a parent of a boy with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), my son takes longer than others to learn age-appropriate emotional regulation and behaviour in public. This is despite tremendous parenting, teaching and years of professional early childhood therapeutic intervention efforts.
The best way for him to learn appropriate behaviour in public is to practise being in public places – including public transportation, libraries, restaurants and supermarkets – and not be hidden away until such “good behaviour” is learnt.
Some neurodivergent conditions, such as ADHD, are not visible or apparent to others. Members of the public may see an episode of a child’s “misbehaviour” and cast a judgmental eye, especially if the child appears to be neurotypical. However, to the parent and the child, it may already represent progress in the child’s development.
I believe most parents, especially parents of special needs children, are self-conscious when their child “misbehaves” in public. We try our best to guide, scold or even punish the child in public to show others that we are taking action, which may sometimes exacerbate the situation. Often, we end outings early.
I support the suggestion made in an earlier letter by Mr Timothy Mah (Let’s create a more accepting society for parents and young children, Dec 30). He said that “Singapore has the potential to be a place where parenting is not a stressful endeavour but a shared journey, supported by a kind and understanding society”.
Tracy Ang
https://www.straitstimes.com/opinio...re-not-always-due-to-poor-parenting-practices
As a parent of a boy with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), my son takes longer than others to learn age-appropriate emotional regulation and behaviour in public. This is despite tremendous parenting, teaching and years of professional early childhood therapeutic intervention efforts.
The best way for him to learn appropriate behaviour in public is to practise being in public places – including public transportation, libraries, restaurants and supermarkets – and not be hidden away until such “good behaviour” is learnt.
Some neurodivergent conditions, such as ADHD, are not visible or apparent to others. Members of the public may see an episode of a child’s “misbehaviour” and cast a judgmental eye, especially if the child appears to be neurotypical. However, to the parent and the child, it may already represent progress in the child’s development.
I believe most parents, especially parents of special needs children, are self-conscious when their child “misbehaves” in public. We try our best to guide, scold or even punish the child in public to show others that we are taking action, which may sometimes exacerbate the situation. Often, we end outings early.
I support the suggestion made in an earlier letter by Mr Timothy Mah (Let’s create a more accepting society for parents and young children, Dec 30). He said that “Singapore has the potential to be a place where parenting is not a stressful endeavour but a shared journey, supported by a kind and understanding society”.
Tracy Ang
https://www.straitstimes.com/opinio...re-not-always-due-to-poor-parenting-practices
