Eats shoots and shoots - Masturbating panda captured on film by researchers

[Rogue Trader]

Researchers finally discover what a panda looks like when it masturbates

After years of research and patient waiting, researchers have finally revolutionized their field by capturing images of a panda pleasuring itself. For some reason they want to share this revelation with the world, and so we pass it on to you, do with it what you will.

The <strike style="border: 0px; font-size: 13px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; background: transparent;">porn</strike> footage by the World Wildlife Federation features a single panda in the bamboo wilderness of Sichuan. After snacking on some bamboo for lunch, he looks around, finds himself alone, and decides to have a quick wank. Little does he suspect that the <strike style="border: 0px; font-size: 13px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; background: transparent;">voyeurs</strike> researchers at WWF are spying on him - for science!

And now we can all experience this historic moment forever in hilarious GIF form:

I wonder what he's thinking about?

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by Alex Linder

 

[Sinkie]

Don't think we should be shy about masturbation, unless you're a religious prude.

 

[Rogue Trader]

Don't think we should be shy about masturbation, unless you're a religious prude.

I'm not against it. I just believe we made ground breaking discovery why pandas aren't breeding.

 

[Rogue Trader]

I think the scientists' earlier plan backfired


Panda porn shown in attempt to get two to mate
Vets in China have shown a pair of pandas pornography, in an attempt to get them to mate.

Female giant panda Ke Lin watching a panda mating video Photo: REUTERS

By Harry Alsop

11:35AM GMT 15 Mar 2013

Researchers at China's breeding and research centre were concerned that five-year-old Ke Lin and her partner Yongyong never seemed to be in the mood.

So they played the couple a video of pandas mating in the wild to in an effort to get them to mate.

"Every time Yongyong tried to mount her, Ke Lin fought him off and we were worried she was going to miss her three-day breeding cycle," said a spokesman.

"So we played them the film and she took great interest in it. After that there was no stopping her and they mated successfully.

"In the wild, Ke Lin would have seen lots of other pandas mating but in captivity, it's no wonder she needed help."

Giant pandas have incredibly low breeding rates, and few zoos outside China have successfully managed to breed pandas.

Female giant pandas are fertile for just three days a year, and seem to lose their sexual appetite once in captivity.

They are also known to be very selective about their partners.

Most pandas are now bred in captivity, with the destruction of bamboo forests in China reducing their natural habitat.

Researchers have previously tried to coax the males into coitus using Viagra and a special exercise scheme.

A fruit is dangled on a string just out of reach for the animal, encouraging him to stand up on his hind legs and move about.

Meanwhile a zoo in Tokyo has put its pandas back on display after keepers decided mating season was over.

Shin Shin and her companion Ri Ri were given privacy earlier this week after they started showing signs of being in season, with managers at Ueno Zoo saying the notoriously shy animals would have more success away from prying eyes.

Two successful couplings - one on Monday evening and one the following morning - raised hopes that Shin Shin might have conceived.

 

[Sinkie]

I'm not against it. I just believe we made ground breaking discovery why pandas aren't breeding.

Picture looks odd.............i thought it was a female masturbating her pussy and there seems to be a man's head on her right side lying down and she is gripping his leg with her left arm.