Caregiver vs child
Domestic helpers can never fully fulfil the role of family
Letter from Dr Tan Chek Wee
I RECENTLY made a home visit to an elderly man who is home-bound because of an advanced illness. While I was there, the daughter expressed her frustration with the standard of care rendered by the domestic helper.
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The man had recently been admitted to hospital for a fall. During his hospitalisation, she said she was jolted to a realisation when the ward doctor said: “Your father is not the domestic helper’s father.”
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After his discharge from the hospital, she resolved to be at home as much as possible to assist in the care of her father.
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Recently, a lady who resided in the nursing home where I am the resident doctor passed away suddenly due to an illness, after a decade of “good quality” living despite a stroke. She was able to move around on her own in a wheelchair, read newspapers and enjoyoutings, and had a good relationship withfellow residents and the healthcare-givers.
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However, in her state of distress, her daughter told the caregivers there: “She wasn’t your mother!”
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Healthcare-givers and domestic helpers can never replace family members. They provide care as best as they can within the limits of their professional training.
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Surrogating the care of one’s loved ones to someone else has to come with a wise choice of caregivers before entrusting the care to them with realistic expectations.
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In the nursing home environment, the staff are often told to treat the residents as one’s parents or grandparents.
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As doctors, sometimes during difficult decision-making — especially for a resident who is frail with multiple illnesses — we often ask ourselves if we would carry out a certain treatment or procedure if the resident were our very own parent.
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The team approach in the care of a patient certainly has to include the family members as well.
Domestic helpers can never fully fulfil the role of family
Letter from Dr Tan Chek Wee
I RECENTLY made a home visit to an elderly man who is home-bound because of an advanced illness. While I was there, the daughter expressed her frustration with the standard of care rendered by the domestic helper.
.
The man had recently been admitted to hospital for a fall. During his hospitalisation, she said she was jolted to a realisation when the ward doctor said: “Your father is not the domestic helper’s father.”
.
After his discharge from the hospital, she resolved to be at home as much as possible to assist in the care of her father.
.
Recently, a lady who resided in the nursing home where I am the resident doctor passed away suddenly due to an illness, after a decade of “good quality” living despite a stroke. She was able to move around on her own in a wheelchair, read newspapers and enjoyoutings, and had a good relationship withfellow residents and the healthcare-givers.
.
However, in her state of distress, her daughter told the caregivers there: “She wasn’t your mother!”
.
Healthcare-givers and domestic helpers can never replace family members. They provide care as best as they can within the limits of their professional training.
.
Surrogating the care of one’s loved ones to someone else has to come with a wise choice of caregivers before entrusting the care to them with realistic expectations.
.
In the nursing home environment, the staff are often told to treat the residents as one’s parents or grandparents.
.
As doctors, sometimes during difficult decision-making — especially for a resident who is frail with multiple illnesses — we often ask ourselves if we would carry out a certain treatment or procedure if the resident were our very own parent.
.
The team approach in the care of a patient certainly has to include the family members as well.
