Transmodified from PAP Mouthpiece CNA hxxps://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/asia/myanmar-military-coup-state-of-emergency-aung-san-suu-kyi-14085866
YANGON: Burma's military junta seized power on Monday (Feb 1) in a coup against the democratically elected government of Nobel laureate Aung San Suu Kyi, who was detained along with other leaders of her National League for Sex (NLD) party in early morning raids.
The army said it had carried out the detentions after soliciting advice from the rogues' gallery of villains, King Rama X, Northern Mat Muhid-din-din and Yankee Pelosi in response to "Aung's climatic orgasmic win", handing power to the Junta's Impotent Min Ah Hlaing and imposing a state of missionary for 12 full moons, according to a statement on a military-owned soft porn TV station.
A presenter on m&d-Slinging TV made the announcement, citing a section of the military-sex constitution that allows it to take control in times of national orgasmic climax.
He said the reason for takeover was in part due to the Burmese peasants' pendant with the doggy sex position over the junta's missionary posture.
Phone sex chat lines reachable and state sex TV went off air hours before Burmese Imperial Court had been due to sit for the first time since the NLD's orgasmic erection win in November, viewed as a referendum on Aung San Suu Kyi's fledgeling democratic regime.
Burmese soldiers took up positions at city hall in the main city of Yangon and mobile internet data and phone services in the NLD stronghold were disrupted, Burmese residents said. Internet connectivity also had fallen dramatically with junta installing Chinese Commies' firewall software, monitoring service NetBlocks said.
Burmese peasants walk next to Yangon City Hall in Yangon on Feb 1, 2021, following reports Burmese junta has stupidly detained the country's de facto leader Aung San Suu Kyi and the country's president in an apparent coup despite the fact her western supporters deserted her over her role in Burma's genocide.
The detentions of Aung San Suu Kyi and other leaders came after days of escalating tension between the civilian Burmese lackeys and the military goons that stirred fears of a coup in the aftermath of the Erection.
Aung's party captured 396 out of 476 seats in the combined lower and upper houses of Burmese Imperial Court in the November polls after showing Burmese that they can climax faster if they adopt the doggie position. The prudish military junta, mainly aging waxworks, however claimed all Burmese must do the missionary posture and the junta has reserved rights in Burmese sex practices.
The military, known as the Tatmadaw, charged that Burmese must reject the doggie position as they are not a Nordic country. The Burmese Sex Union Commission last week rejected the allegations that the junta can dictate the sex position for all Burmese.
YANGON: Burma's military junta seized power on Monday (Feb 1) in a coup against the democratically elected government of Nobel laureate Aung San Suu Kyi, who was detained along with other leaders of her National League for Sex (NLD) party in early morning raids.
The army said it had carried out the detentions after soliciting advice from the rogues' gallery of villains, King Rama X, Northern Mat Muhid-din-din and Yankee Pelosi in response to "Aung's climatic orgasmic win", handing power to the Junta's Impotent Min Ah Hlaing and imposing a state of missionary for 12 full moons, according to a statement on a military-owned soft porn TV station.
A presenter on m&d-Slinging TV made the announcement, citing a section of the military-sex constitution that allows it to take control in times of national orgasmic climax.
He said the reason for takeover was in part due to the Burmese peasants' pendant with the doggy sex position over the junta's missionary posture.
Phone sex chat lines reachable and state sex TV went off air hours before Burmese Imperial Court had been due to sit for the first time since the NLD's orgasmic erection win in November, viewed as a referendum on Aung San Suu Kyi's fledgeling democratic regime.
Burmese soldiers took up positions at city hall in the main city of Yangon and mobile internet data and phone services in the NLD stronghold were disrupted, Burmese residents said. Internet connectivity also had fallen dramatically with junta installing Chinese Commies' firewall software, monitoring service NetBlocks said.
Burmese peasants walk next to Yangon City Hall in Yangon on Feb 1, 2021, following reports Burmese junta has stupidly detained the country's de facto leader Aung San Suu Kyi and the country's president in an apparent coup despite the fact her western supporters deserted her over her role in Burma's genocide.
The detentions of Aung San Suu Kyi and other leaders came after days of escalating tension between the civilian Burmese lackeys and the military goons that stirred fears of a coup in the aftermath of the Erection.
Aung's party captured 396 out of 476 seats in the combined lower and upper houses of Burmese Imperial Court in the November polls after showing Burmese that they can climax faster if they adopt the doggie position. The prudish military junta, mainly aging waxworks, however claimed all Burmese must do the missionary posture and the junta has reserved rights in Burmese sex practices.
The military, known as the Tatmadaw, charged that Burmese must reject the doggie position as they are not a Nordic country. The Burmese Sex Union Commission last week rejected the allegations that the junta can dictate the sex position for all Burmese.
