Got 2 styrofoam packages to deliver. You know the type used for organ transfers for transplants. One box is big with the word "brain" and the other is really small with the word "tongue"
Called around but no one has seen him. Called parliament and they said "who. never heard of him" The guy on the phone also told me that staff don't know many MPs because they are quiet and so don't make an impact. Fair enough.
So I called Cabinet Office. The guy on the phone who claims to be the Cabinet Secretary was really nice and quite open. Said that most people don't know that cabinet exist and think that cabinet is a cupboard at Oxyley Road. Anyway, he said that "we have been looking for the fucker since yesterday" He also told me that he is basically a zero so they have not given him a portfolio.
Exasperated as I had an appointment with SPA that kept cheating people, and with the help of CASE managed to get one free appointment. CASE by the way is run by Yeo Guat Kwang, a PAP MP. Thats the same outfit that when taken over by Govt, saw consumer cheating cases hitting the roof. As I write this, one poor farmer is about to hang himself from the rafters of his hut in vietnam after receiving a call from his daughter about a school with no campus but the word campus mentioned in the brochure that did not open the door today.
I said "fuck the spa appointment, Boon Heng needs this". Next call was to Istana. Fuck me dead - it was same operator. I asked the SY sounding thing, how come she again. She told me that Cabinet Office is in the Istana. I shouted "shoot me". She said that is not all. She said that old man has been living on these grounds for 50 years. I yelled "christ have mercy". She yelled back - "don't be vulgar". I then said that Lee Siew Hua from SPH wrote that he resided at his home in Oxyley. She said " you singaporeans are so blurr". She also said that isn't Siew Hua the same one who wrote the recesionista report from Melbourne. I said "thats the one, dear" Notice how the word "dear" was skillfully inserted. Unfortunately she did not bite. Said something about 8 months bonus being right as civil servants are a hated lot.
Put down the phone and realised that the call was to track Lim Boon Heng, the trained naval architect that was talent spotted from NOL.
Called the local Police Station. Before I could ask for help with tracking Lim Boon Heng, the guy behind the phone said in a despondent voice " please don't make report. Reports are nightmare for us. If you are already holding on to the culprit, no problem, then our statistics will show 100% solvability rate" Its a win win situation"
I replied how is it a win win situation. He replied " frankly I don't know but when DSP Paul Tay can throw out that bullshit, I thought mine can fly as well" I then asked him "out of curiosity, is it true that if zip is damaged on a lugagge , its a Police case". He replied " buddy, your guess is good as mine. I too am wondering why is the Police involved in a zipper involving an elderly couple and better still, why did the govt pay for the later flight."
I put down the phone and realised that again forgot to ask "Where is Lim Boon Heng".
ps. will come back to this when I finish the Mee Siam without the hum. With PRC manning stalls now, one has to be clear as Lor Mee also a mystery with them.
Called around but no one has seen him. Called parliament and they said "who. never heard of him" The guy on the phone also told me that staff don't know many MPs because they are quiet and so don't make an impact. Fair enough.
So I called Cabinet Office. The guy on the phone who claims to be the Cabinet Secretary was really nice and quite open. Said that most people don't know that cabinet exist and think that cabinet is a cupboard at Oxyley Road. Anyway, he said that "we have been looking for the fucker since yesterday" He also told me that he is basically a zero so they have not given him a portfolio.
Exasperated as I had an appointment with SPA that kept cheating people, and with the help of CASE managed to get one free appointment. CASE by the way is run by Yeo Guat Kwang, a PAP MP. Thats the same outfit that when taken over by Govt, saw consumer cheating cases hitting the roof. As I write this, one poor farmer is about to hang himself from the rafters of his hut in vietnam after receiving a call from his daughter about a school with no campus but the word campus mentioned in the brochure that did not open the door today.
I said "fuck the spa appointment, Boon Heng needs this". Next call was to Istana. Fuck me dead - it was same operator. I asked the SY sounding thing, how come she again. She told me that Cabinet Office is in the Istana. I shouted "shoot me". She said that is not all. She said that old man has been living on these grounds for 50 years. I yelled "christ have mercy". She yelled back - "don't be vulgar". I then said that Lee Siew Hua from SPH wrote that he resided at his home in Oxyley. She said " you singaporeans are so blurr". She also said that isn't Siew Hua the same one who wrote the recesionista report from Melbourne. I said "thats the one, dear" Notice how the word "dear" was skillfully inserted. Unfortunately she did not bite. Said something about 8 months bonus being right as civil servants are a hated lot.
Put down the phone and realised that the call was to track Lim Boon Heng, the trained naval architect that was talent spotted from NOL.
Called the local Police Station. Before I could ask for help with tracking Lim Boon Heng, the guy behind the phone said in a despondent voice " please don't make report. Reports are nightmare for us. If you are already holding on to the culprit, no problem, then our statistics will show 100% solvability rate" Its a win win situation"
I replied how is it a win win situation. He replied " frankly I don't know but when DSP Paul Tay can throw out that bullshit, I thought mine can fly as well" I then asked him "out of curiosity, is it true that if zip is damaged on a lugagge , its a Police case". He replied " buddy, your guess is good as mine. I too am wondering why is the Police involved in a zipper involving an elderly couple and better still, why did the govt pay for the later flight."
I put down the phone and realised that again forgot to ask "Where is Lim Boon Heng".
ps. will come back to this when I finish the Mee Siam without the hum. With PRC manning stalls now, one has to be clear as Lor Mee also a mystery with them.
