[Author’s note: This post was originally written for a closer group of friends but was made public later. The link to my old fb note regarding my own experience of sexual harassment below is restricted to friends only for personal reasons. I think the substance of this post can be understood without knowing the details of what happened to me, and there is some detail scattered in the post already where I thought fit to include. I ask that you please refrain from trying to dig up past events and from sending me friend requests, thank you.]
I need to clear my head.
I followed the first leg of the Monica Baey saga, until there was too much floating around and I couldn’t take it anymore, and this saga is making me uncomfortable for multiple reasons.
The first reason being that it brings up memories which I don’t want to remember and feelings which I have long buried. Most of you who have been my Facebook friends since university would know my experience, but for those who don’t, here’s the background: https://www.facebook.com/notes/rachel-koh/dealing-with-sexual-harassment/10152641334682076/
The second being that the internet mob is baying for blood and I really, really don’t like this.
My note is going to have a few parts:
1. my experience with NUS/law enforcement
2. thoughts on adequate/inadequate punishment
3. thoughts on social media frenzy
(1) My experience with NUS/law enforcement
I preface this by saying that there are a number of differences between Monica’s situation and mine, so some differences in the way things were handled are to be expected.
In my case, I reported the matter to NUS only at first (I shall not count the earlier 2 police reports a few years earlier since those were “closed”).
The faculty and staff who were in direct contact with me were extremely supportive and contactable during that period. They responded quickly to events as I updated them, and were readily available. They encouraged me to make a police report, accompanied me to the police station, stayed there with me and accompanied me back. Once the police report had been made, they’d follow up with me here and there, and were contactable in case of anything. Apart from that, I received no news from NUS for a long, long time.
I went for exchange and came back, but there was still no news from either party. At some point, I got in touch with a prof and brought up this matter in the context of some questions regarding online harassment (a topic in that module I took). He spoke to me personally and also set me up with the Dean of Student Life (?) for my home faculty, and she sat with me over coffee to ask me what I thought NUS could do to help. I told her that what I really needed was closure, since silence for almost a year was unacceptable. She agreed to help me check on the status. At the same time, I reached out to the original faculty member who brought me to the police station.
A while later, and I honestly can’t remember how long since this was years ago, I received an email from the latter to let me know that the perpetrator had been suspended from NUS for a while, not allowed to stay in campus housing again, expelled from the supplementary programme we were in (but not his home faculty), and the email also attached his apology letter. [EDIT: I’m sorry, I have just retrieved my lost email password and dug out my emails and this is incorrect. NUS sent me the apology letter but did not mention anything about campus housing and expulsion. His apology letter says he voluntarily withdrew from the programme.]
A lot more at https://tinyurI.com/yynh7hgx
I need to clear my head.
I followed the first leg of the Monica Baey saga, until there was too much floating around and I couldn’t take it anymore, and this saga is making me uncomfortable for multiple reasons.
The first reason being that it brings up memories which I don’t want to remember and feelings which I have long buried. Most of you who have been my Facebook friends since university would know my experience, but for those who don’t, here’s the background: https://www.facebook.com/notes/rachel-koh/dealing-with-sexual-harassment/10152641334682076/
The second being that the internet mob is baying for blood and I really, really don’t like this.
My note is going to have a few parts:
1. my experience with NUS/law enforcement
2. thoughts on adequate/inadequate punishment
3. thoughts on social media frenzy
(1) My experience with NUS/law enforcement
I preface this by saying that there are a number of differences between Monica’s situation and mine, so some differences in the way things were handled are to be expected.
In my case, I reported the matter to NUS only at first (I shall not count the earlier 2 police reports a few years earlier since those were “closed”).
The faculty and staff who were in direct contact with me were extremely supportive and contactable during that period. They responded quickly to events as I updated them, and were readily available. They encouraged me to make a police report, accompanied me to the police station, stayed there with me and accompanied me back. Once the police report had been made, they’d follow up with me here and there, and were contactable in case of anything. Apart from that, I received no news from NUS for a long, long time.
I went for exchange and came back, but there was still no news from either party. At some point, I got in touch with a prof and brought up this matter in the context of some questions regarding online harassment (a topic in that module I took). He spoke to me personally and also set me up with the Dean of Student Life (?) for my home faculty, and she sat with me over coffee to ask me what I thought NUS could do to help. I told her that what I really needed was closure, since silence for almost a year was unacceptable. She agreed to help me check on the status. At the same time, I reached out to the original faculty member who brought me to the police station.
A while later, and I honestly can’t remember how long since this was years ago, I received an email from the latter to let me know that the perpetrator had been suspended from NUS for a while, not allowed to stay in campus housing again, expelled from the supplementary programme we were in (but not his home faculty), and the email also attached his apology letter. [EDIT: I’m sorry, I have just retrieved my lost email password and dug out my emails and this is incorrect. NUS sent me the apology letter but did not mention anything about campus housing and expulsion. His apology letter says he voluntarily withdrew from the programme.]
A lot more at https://tinyurI.com/yynh7hgx
