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Coffeeshop Chit Chat -
So SHAMEFUL, yet he doesn't want to SHAM</TD><TD id=msgunetc noWrap align=right>
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metalslug84 <NOBR></NOBR></TD><TD class=msgDate width="30%" noWrap align=right>Aug-19 9:14 pm </TD></TR><TR class=msghead><TD class=msgT height=20 width="1%" noWrap align=right>To: </TD><TD class=msgTname width="68%" noWrap>
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19485.1 </TD></TR><TR><TD height=8></TD></TR><TR><TD class=msgtxt>Another one!!!
http://tnp.sg/news/story/0,4136,210946,00.html?
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So SHAMEFUL, yet he doesn't want to SHAME them </TD></TR><TR><TD>
82-year-old man eats free food at S'pore Buddhist Lodge. He gets a total of $200 a month from his 4 grown children. Can the Maintenance of Parents Act help him?</TD></TR><TR><TD class=font12w>
<TABLE border=0 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" align=left><TBODY><TR><TD class=font12w>By Liew Hanqing</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR><TR><TD class=font12w><TABLE border=0 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%"><TBODY><TR><TD class=font12w>
August 20, 2009</TD><TD width=30>
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</TD></TR><TR><TD class=rightline vAlign=top><TABLE border=0 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=3 width="100%"><TBODY><TR><TD class=font12 vAlign=top align=left>SURE, there is the Parents' Maintenance Act and he can compel his children to support him.
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TNP PICTURE: PHYLLICIA WANG [/SIZE][/FONT]</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>But what of the family name? And face?
No, Mr Ng would not have it. No matter how bad it is, the family name has to be protected.
So the elderly man suffers in silence alone - despite having four working children.
The 82-year-old lives alone in a rental two-room flat in Henderson.
Several times a week, he makes his way to the Singapore Buddhist Lodge at River Valley Road, and spends the day there for food and company.
His is the face of a dilemma that will grow with Singapore's ageing population. The issue, filial piety, is more complex than it seems.
Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong touched on the subject in Sunday's National Day Rally speech and said the Government will study how best to use the Maintenance of Parents Act to get children who dump their parents in nursing homes and hospitals to do their filial duty.
But it may not be as clear-cut as legislation.
Mr Ng's four children are busy with their own lives. Together, they give him less than $200 a month.
He said they never visit him - not even on Chinese New Year. It is not clear when they last visited him.
And he is too proud to reach out to them.
The former odd-job worker will not ask his children for more, nor will he take them to task for not doing as much as they should.
He does not know that, under the Maintenance of Parents Act, he can apply for the courts to compel them to support him.
When told about this, he declined to even consider it. The reason: Shame. And face.
He even asked that we not publish his full name as he 'does not want to appear pitiful'.
He only agreed to be photographed from the back because he 'does not want to bring shame' to his family.
Mr Ng, like many lonely and elderly Singaporeans, yearns for company.
He told The New Paper in Mandarin: 'It's boring at home, and I want to try to save some money, so I eat here.'
Mr Ng is estranged from his three sons and daughter, who are all in their 50s.
'No conscience'
His savings have also been wiped out.
He claimed to have befriended a foreign national in her 40s two years ago, who had asked him for a large sum of money.
He said: 'I was too trusting. She said she was sick and needed money, and I gave it to her thinking she was prepared to stay with me.
'But she had no conscience. After taking my savings, she left and cut off all contact with me.'
Mr Ng estimated he gave the woman about $100,000, which was all the money he had at the time.
He said: 'My children can't stand the sight of me now because they think I'm stupid for giving somebody all my money.
'My eldest son, who is a hawker, sometimes leaves money for me with my brother, and I collect it myself.'
Aside from the money he gets from his two older children, his two younger sons do not help out much.
His eldest son pays his monthly utility bills, which are usually less than $100.
'My youngest son can't even take care of himself - he likes to gamble. He's also divorced and has to pay monthly maintenance to his ex-wife,' Mr Ng said.
He added: 'Actually, I'm quite lucky that my health is fine, except for high blood pressure.'
He also needs medication for a chronic skin condition, which results in itchy welts.
'I applied for help for my medical costs and thankfully I can get most of my medicine free,' he said. He cannot remember who helped him.
Other than spending $50 a month on transport, Mr Ng said he has hardly any other expenses.
'When I am hungry at home, I eat biscuits or make oatmeal for myself,' he said.
To keep himself occupied at night, he watches TV for hours until he falls asleep past midnight.
He said: 'I have a lot of troubles, so I will think about a lot of things before I can fall asleep.
'My children are not filial - not a single one of them. It's so sad that four children cannot even support one old man.'
Mr Lee Bock Guan, 64, president of the Singapore Buddhist Lodge, sees about three cases similar to Mr Ng's every month.
In some cases, Mr Lee said, staff from the lodge would contact the families of these elderly people to help them resolve their differences and to urge them to take care of their aged parents.
He said in Mandarin: 'In some cases, they listen to us, but others tell us not to interfere in their family matters.'
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