• IP addresses are NOT logged in this forum so there's no point asking. Please note that this forum is full of homophobes, racists, lunatics, schizophrenics & absolute nut jobs with a smattering of geniuses, Chinese chauvinists, Moderate Muslims and last but not least a couple of "know-it-alls" constantly sprouting their dubious wisdom. If you believe that content generated by unsavory characters might cause you offense PLEASE LEAVE NOW! Sammyboy Admin and Staff are not responsible for your hurt feelings should you choose to read any of the content here.

    The OTHER forum is HERE so please stop asking.

Chitchat It is important that we all love and care for each other here in order to he happy

Leongsam

High Order Twit / Low SES subject
Admin
Asset
The 75-Year Study That Found The Secrets To A Fulfilling Life


What if there was a study dedicated to unearthing the secrets to a happy and purposeful life? It would have to be conducted over the course of many decades, following the lives of real people from childhood until old age, in order to see how they changed and what they learned. And it would probably be too ambitious for anyone to actually undertake.

Only, a group of Harvard researchers did undertake it, producing a comprehensive, flesh-and-blood picture of some of life’s fundamental questions: how we grow and change, what we value as time goes on, and what is likely to make us happy and fulfilled.

The study, known as the Harvard Grant Study, has some limitations — it didn’t include women, for starters. Still, it provides an unrivaled glimpse into a subset of humanity, following 268 male Harvard undergraduates from the classes of 1938-1940 (now well into their 90s) for 75 years, collecting data on various aspects of their lives at regular intervals. And the conclusions are universal.

We spoke to George Vaillant, the Harvard psychiatrist who directed the study from 1972 to 2004 and wrote a book about it, in order to revisit the study’s findings.Below, five lessons from the Grant Study to apply to your own pursuit of a happier and more meaningful life.

Love Is Really All That Matters

It may seem obvious, but that doesn’t make it any less true: Love is key to a happy and fulfilling life. As Vaillant puts it, there are two pillars of happiness. “One is love,” he writes. “The other is finding a way of coping with life that does not push love away.”

Vaillant has said that the study’s most important finding is that the only thing that matters in life is relationships. A man could have a successful career, money and good physical health, but without supportive, loving relationships, he wouldn’t be happy (“Happiness is only the cart; love is the horse.”).

It’s About More than Money and Power

The Grant Study’s findings echoed those of other studies — that acquiring more money and power doesn’t correlate to greater happiness. That’s not to say money or traditional career success don’t matter. But they’re small parts of a much larger picture — and while they may loom large for us in the moment, they diminish in importance when viewed in the context of a full life.

“We found that contentment in the late 70s was not even suggestively associated with parental social class or even the man’s own income,” says Vaillant. “In terms of achievement, the only thing that matters is that you be content at your work.”

Regardless of How We Begin Life, We Can All Become Happier

A man named Godfrey Minot Camille went into the Grant study with fairly bleak prospects for life satisfaction: He had the lowest rating for future stability of all the subjects and he had previously attempted suicide. But at the end of his life, he was one of the happiest. Why? As Vaillant explains, “He spent his life searching for love.”

Connection Is Crucial

“Joy is connection,” Vaillant says. “The more areas in your life you can make connection, the better.”

The study found strong relationships to be far and away the strongest predictor of life satisfaction. And in terms of career satisfaction, too, feeling connected to one’s work was far more important than making money or achieving traditional success.

“The conclusion of the study, not in a medical but in a psychological sense, is that connection is the whole shooting match,” says Vaillant.

As life goes on, connections become even more important. The Grant Study provides strong support for the growing body of research that has linked social ties with longevity, lower stress levels and improved overall well-being.

Challenges –- and the Perspective They Give You — Can Make You Happier

The journey from immaturity to maturity, says Vaillant, is a sort of movement from narcissism to connection, and a big part of this shift has to do with the way we deal with challenges.

Coping mechanisms — “the capacity to make gold out of shit,” as Vaillant puts it — have a significant effect on social support and overall well-being. The secret is replacing narcissism, a single-minded focus on one’s own emotional oscillations and perceived problems, with mature coping defenses, Vaillant explains, citing Mother Teresa and Beethoven as examples.

“Mother Teresa had a perfectly terrible childhood, and her inner spiritual life was very painful,” says Vaillant. “But she had a highly successful life by caring about other people.

Creative expression is another way to productively deal with challenges and achieve meaning and well-being.

“The secret of Beethoven being able to cope with misery through his art was when he wrote ‘Ode to Joy,’” says Vaillant. “Beethoven was able to make connection with his music.”
 

jw5

Moderator
Moderator
Loyal
Re: It is important that we all love and care for each other here in order to he happ

Agree absolutely and I am with you on this. :biggrin:
 

mojito

Alfrescian
Loyal
Re: It is important that we all love and care for each other here in order to he happ

Harbird lau uncles? Not a good sample, no. Go ask the other forum and they will tell you they happiest 5 seconds before ejeculating. :cool:
 

scroobal

Alfrescian
Loyal
Re: It is important that we all love and care for each other here in order to he happ

There is a guy who rubbed shoulders with the founding fathers and was a personal friend to some, was a member of a profession and took over his father's business and subsequently grew it by merging with international firms. His clients were the blue chips of Singapore both corporate and big families. He also served on various charities and was in the most successful FAS council before the Govt kicked them out after the tiff with Johor over Malaysia Cup. His personal philosophy was not to upset anyone. He celebrated his 90th birthday a few years ago. His son and his grandson have joined the same profession. He is still active and happy.

Here is the puzzle - the guy is a multi-millionaire, knows the shakers and movers but decided to be part of the team that took football, game of the masses for the masses to highest ranking ever and gave us the Kallang Roar. He worked with Tan Eng Yoon who was in charge of the newly built National Staidum to have football moved from Jalan Besar to there on a trial basis. No firm contract on gate takings were signed until both FAS and National Stadium were comfortable that both parties would benefit. The National Stadium was built for the Seap Games and there was no intention to move the home of soccer from Jalan Besar to elsewhere.

Only 20,000 people turned up for the first game. Eventually the whole stadium was filled to capacity, people had to be locked out and the Roar became our pride and job of a united country.

And yet few people heard of this man. Its people like him that know how to be happy and yet do good things for the common man and the country. Not some half wit scholar, chief of defence force and carried into political office on the coat-tails of a few but talks utter rubbish.
 

ckmpd

Alfrescian
Loyal
Re: It is important that we all love and care for each other here in order to he happ

There is a guy who rubbed shoulders with the founding fathers and was a personal friend to some, was a member of a profession and took over his father's business and subsequently grew it by merging with international firms. His clients were the blue chips of Singapore both corporate and big families. He also served on various charities and was in the most successful FAS council before the Govt kicked them out after the tiff with Johor over Malaysia Cup. His personal philosophy was not to upset anyone. He celebrated his 90th birthday a few years ago. His son and his grandson have joined the same profession. He is still active and happy.

Here is the puzzle - the guy is a multi-millionaire, knows the shakers and movers but decided to be part of the team that took football, game of the masses for the masses to highest ranking ever and gave us the Kallang Roar. He worked with Tan Eng Yoon who was in charge of the newly built National Staidum to have football moved from Jalan Besar to there on a trial basis. No firm contract on gate takings were signed until both FAS and National Stadium were comfortable that both parties would benefit. The National Stadium was built for the Seap Games and there was no intention to move the home of soccer from Jalan Besar to elsewhere.

Only 20,000 people turned up for the first game. Eventually the whole stadium was filled to capacity, people had to be locked out and the Roar became our pride and job of a united country.

And yet few people heard of this man. Its people like him that know how to be happy and yet do good things for the common man and the country. Not some half wit scholar, chief of defence force and carried into political office on the coat-tails of a few but talks utter rubbish.

Absolutely. We have heard so much rubbish from the mouths of the pap leaders these last few years. It is getting from bad to worse with LHL's reasons for rotating the Elected Presidency. That defies logic all the way. And I wonder why the PM is behaving like a small, petty boy when he is 64years already?
 

Thick Face Black Heart

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
Re: It is important that we all love and care for each other here in order to he happ

The secret to a fulfilling life is to live for something larger than yourself. It doesn't have to be anything grand. It can be simple as volunteering regularly for your community.

Relationships and people change. Constantly meet new people and choose your loyalties wisely.

Finally, embark on lifelong learning.
 

zhihau

Super Moderator
SuperMod
Asset
Re: It is important that we all love and care for each other here in order to he happ

[video=youtube;3wsYM1GgQLU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wsYM1GgQLU[/video]

I love you all, my brothers and sisters!
 

Wunderfool

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
Re: It is important that we all love and care for each other here in order to he happ

Happiness is a myth.

No one can be truly happy when he has not learned to be contented in life.

Contentment in life will cause one to look outside of oneself and cares for others. When you start doing that, happiness will come and find you.
 

flatearther

Alfrescian
Loyal
Re: It is important that we all love and care for each other here in order to he happ

Love Is Really All That Matters
Reminds me of this song by the Beatles from 1967:
wikipedia.org/wiki/All_You_Need_Is_Love
And here's one of my favourite J-pop love songs, from the 1980s:
ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/I LOVE YOU (尾崎豊の曲)

[video=youtube;6wIP7EgXmII]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wIP7EgXmII[/video]

by:
ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/尾崎豊
wikipedia.org/wiki/Ozaki_Yutaka
 

JohnTan

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
Re: It is important that we all love and care for each other here in order to he happ

What better way to show love and care than to take in another 500k Muslim refugees?

Austria-migrants.jpg


dustboy.jpg
 

dr.wailing

Alfrescian
Loyal
Re: It is important that we all love and care for each other here in order to he happ

Not some half wit scholar, chief of defence force and carried into political office on the coat-tails of a few but talks utter rubbish.
Did I detect a tinge of jealousy in your post? The Sinkie gabrament and the civil service are staffed with many President's Scholars, Colombo Plan scholars, etc. and their combined IQs are thousand times higher than yours and mine.
 

dr.wailing

Alfrescian
Loyal
Re: It is important that we all love and care for each other here in order to he happ

Happiness is a myth.

No one can be truly happy when he has not learned to be contented in life.

Contentment in life will cause one to look outside of oneself and cares for others. When you start doing that, happiness will come and find you.

Totally agree.

That was what a yogi master told me when I visited him in an ashram in India more than 50 years ago.
 

dr.wailing

Alfrescian
Loyal
Re: It is important that we all love and care for each other here in order to he happ

What better way to show love and care than to take in another 500k Muslim refugees?

@ JohnTan

Action speaks louder than words.

Please ask your Prime Ministar to take in at least 10,000 Syrian or Rohingya refugees over the next 5 years.
 

JohnTan

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
Re: It is important that we all love and care for each other here in order to he happ

@ JohnTan

Action speaks louder than words.

Please ask your Prime Ministar to take in at least 10,000 Syrian or Rohingya refugees over the next 5 years.

As a grassroots leader, I wrote a letter to PM Lee requesting that we take in 100,000 Syrian and Rohingya refugees, or for that matter, any Muslim refugees. We should extend our love and tolerance to all and show to the far-right opposition cocksuckers that we are not Islamophobes.
 

hsienloong

Alfrescian
Loyal
Re: It is important that we all love and care for each other here in order to he happ

The 75-Year Study That Found The Secrets To A Fulfilling Life


What if there was a study dedicated to unearthing the secrets to a happy and purposeful life? It would have to be conducted over the course of many decades, following the lives of real people from childhood until old age, in order to see how they changed and what they learned. And it would probably be too ambitious for anyone to actually undertake.

Only, a group of Harvard researchers did undertake it, producing a comprehensive, flesh-and-blood picture of some of life’s fundamental questions: how we grow and change, what we value as time goes on, and what is likely to make us happy and fulfilled.

The study, known as the Harvard Grant Study, has some limitations — it didn’t include women, for starters. Still, it provides an unrivaled glimpse into a subset of humanity, following 268 male Harvard undergraduates from the classes of 1938-1940 (now well into their 90s) for 75 years, collecting data on various aspects of their lives at regular intervals. And the conclusions are universal.

We spoke to George Vaillant, the Harvard psychiatrist who directed the study from 1972 to 2004 and wrote a book about it, in order to revisit the study’s findings.Below, five lessons from the Grant Study to apply to your own pursuit of a happier and more meaningful life.

Love Is Really All That Matters

It may seem obvious, but that doesn’t make it any less true: Love is key to a happy and fulfilling life. As Vaillant puts it, there are two pillars of happiness. “One is love,” he writes. “The other is finding a way of coping with life that does not push love away.”

Vaillant has said that the study’s most important finding is that the only thing that matters in life is relationships. A man could have a successful career, money and good physical health, but without supportive, loving relationships, he wouldn’t be happy (“Happiness is only the cart; love is the horse.”).

It’s About More than Money and Power

The Grant Study’s findings echoed those of other studies — that acquiring more money and power doesn’t correlate to greater happiness. That’s not to say money or traditional career success don’t matter. But they’re small parts of a much larger picture — and while they may loom large for us in the moment, they diminish in importance when viewed in the context of a full life.

“We found that contentment in the late 70s was not even suggestively associated with parental social class or even the man’s own income,” says Vaillant. “In terms of achievement, the only thing that matters is that you be content at your work.”

Regardless of How We Begin Life, We Can All Become Happier

A man named Godfrey Minot Camille went into the Grant study with fairly bleak prospects for life satisfaction: He had the lowest rating for future stability of all the subjects and he had previously attempted suicide. But at the end of his life, he was one of the happiest. Why? As Vaillant explains, “He spent his life searching for love.”

Connection Is Crucial

“Joy is connection,” Vaillant says. “The more areas in your life you can make connection, the better.”

The study found strong relationships to be far and away the strongest predictor of life satisfaction. And in terms of career satisfaction, too, feeling connected to one’s work was far more important than making money or achieving traditional success.

“The conclusion of the study, not in a medical but in a psychological sense, is that connection is the whole shooting match,” says Vaillant.

As life goes on, connections become even more important. The Grant Study provides strong support for the growing body of research that has linked social ties with longevity, lower stress levels and improved overall well-being.

Challenges –- and the Perspective They Give You — Can Make You Happier

The journey from immaturity to maturity, says Vaillant, is a sort of movement from narcissism to connection, and a big part of this shift has to do with the way we deal with challenges.

Coping mechanisms — “the capacity to make gold out of shit,” as Vaillant puts it — have a significant effect on social support and overall well-being. The secret is replacing narcissism, a single-minded focus on one’s own emotional oscillations and perceived problems, with mature coping defenses, Vaillant explains, citing Mother Teresa and Beethoven as examples.

“Mother Teresa had a perfectly terrible childhood, and her inner spiritual life was very painful,” says Vaillant. “But she had a highly successful life by caring about other people.

Creative expression is another way to productively deal with challenges and achieve meaning and well-being.

“The secret of Beethoven being able to cope with misery through his art was when he wrote ‘Ode to Joy,’” says Vaillant. “Beethoven was able to make connection with his music.”



The demise of Lee Hsien Loong is definitely going to make all Samsters here fulfilled and happy. :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:
While fixing the Elected Presidency to spite Dr Tan Cheng Bock would make Lee Hsien Loong fulfilled and happy
and at the expense of making Dr Tony Tan a one term 35% President.
:oIo:
 
Last edited:
Top