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This Malay feels no love from S'pore

peasantJUDGE

Alfrescian
Loyal
Home > Our Columnists > Column
Aug 10, 2008
I wish...
Feeling like the least favourite child
Three writers share their hopes for Singapore this National Day
Nur Dianah Suhaimi


As a Malay, I've always been told that I have to work twice as hard to prove my worth
When I was younger, I always thought of myself as the quintessential Singaporean.

Of my four late grandparents, two were Malay, one was Chinese and one was Indian. This, I concluded, makes me a mix of all the main races in the country. But I later realised that it was not what goes into my blood that matters, but what my identity card says under 'Race'.

Because my paternal grandfather was of Bugis origin, my IC says I'm Malay. I speak the language at home, learnt it in school, eat the food and practise the culture. And because of my being Malay, I've always felt like a lesser Singaporean than those from other racial groups.

I grew up clueless about the concept of national service because my father was never enlisted.

He is Singaporean all right, born and bred here like the rest of the boys born in 1955. He is not handicapped in any way. He did well in school and participated in sports.

Unlike the rest, however, he entered university immediately after his A levels. He often told me that his schoolmates said he was 'lucky' because he was not called up for national service.

'What lucky?' he would tell them. 'Would you feel lucky if your country doesn't trust you?'

So I learnt about the rigours of national service from my male cousins. They would describe in vivid detail their training regimes, the terrible food they were served and the torture inflicted upon them - most of which, I would later realise, were exaggerations.

But one thing these stories had in common was that they all revolved around the Police Academy in Thomson. As I got older, it puzzled me why my Chinese friends constantly referred to NS as 'army'. In my family and among my Malay friends, being enlisted in the army was like hitting the jackpot. The majority served in the police force because, as is known, the Government was not comfortable with Malay Muslims serving in the army. But there are more of them now.

Throughout my life, my father has always told me that as a Malay, I need to work twice as hard to prove my worth. He said people have the misconception that all Malays are inherently lazy.

I was later to get the exact same advice from a Malay minister in office who is a family friend.

When I started work, I realised that the advice rang true, especially because I wear my religion on my head. My professionalism suddenly became an issue. One question I was asked at a job interview was whether I would be willing to enter a nightclub to chase a story. I answered: 'If it's part of the job, why not? And you can rest assured I won't be tempted to have fun.'

When I attend media events, before I can introduce myself, people assume I write for the Malay daily Berita Harian. A male Malay colleague in The Straits Times has the same problem, too.

This makes me wonder if people also assume that all Chinese reporters are from Lianhe Zaobao and Indian reporters from Tamil Murasu.

People also question if I can do stories which require stake-outs in the sleazy lanes of Geylang. They say because of my tudung I will stick out like a sore thumb. So I changed into a baseball cap and a men's sports jacket - all borrowed from my husband - when I covered Geylang.

I do not want to be seen as different from the rest just because I dress differently. I want the same opportunities and the same job challenges.

Beneath the tudung, I, too, have hair and a functioning brain. And if anything, I feel that my tudung has actually helped me secure some difficult interviews.

Newsmakers - of all races - tend to trust me more because I look guai (Hokkien for well-behaved) and thus, they feel, less likely to write critical stuff about them.

Recently, I had a conversation with several colleagues about this essay. I told them I never thought of myself as being particularly patriotic. One Chinese colleague thought this was unfair. 'But you got to enjoy free education,' she said.

Sure, for the entire 365 days I spent in Primary 1 in 1989. But my parents paid for my school and university fees for the next 15 years I was studying.

It seems that many Singaporeans do not know that Malays have stopped getting free education since 1990. If I remember clearly, the news made front-page news at that time.

We went on to talk about the Singapore Government's belief that Malays here would never point a missile at their fellow Muslim neighbours in a war.

I said if not for family ties, I would have no qualms about leaving the country. Someone then remarked that this is why Malays like myself are not trusted. But I answered that this lack of patriotism on my part comes from not being trusted, and for being treated like a potential traitor.

It is not just the NS issue. It is the frustration of explaining to non-Malays that I don't get special privileges from the Government. It is having to deal with those who question my professionalism because of my religion. It is having people assume, day after day, that you are lowly educated, lazy and poor. It is like being the least favourite child in a family. This child will try to win his parents' love only for so long. After a while, he will just be engulfed by disappointment and bitterness.

I also believe that it is this 'least favourite child' mentality which makes most Malays defensive and protective of their own kind.

Why do you think Malay families spent hundreds of dollars voting for two Malay boys in the Singapore Idol singing contest? And do you know that Malays who voted for other competitors were frowned upon by the community?

The same happens to me at work. When I write stories which put Malays in a bad light, I am labelled a traitor. A Malay reader once wrote to me to say: 'I thought a Malay journalist would have more empathy for these unfortunate people than a non-Malay journalist.'

But such is the case when you are a Malay Singaporean. Your life is not just about you, as much as you want it to be. You are made to feel responsible for the rest of the pack and your actions affect them as well. If you trip, the entire community falls with you. But if you triumph, it is considered everyone's success.

When 12-year-old Natasha Nabila hit the headlines last year for her record PSLE aggregate of 294, I was among the thousands of Malays here who celebrated the news. I sent instant messages to my friends on Gmail and chatted excitedly with my Malay colleagues at work.

Suddenly a 12-year-old has become the symbol of hope for the community and a message to the rest that Malays can do it too - and not just in singing competitions.

And just like that, the 'least favourite child' in me feels a lot happier.

Each year, come Aug 9, my father, who never had the opportunity to do national service, dutifully hangs two flags at home - one on the front gate and the other by the side gate.

I wonder if putting up two flags is his way of making himself feel like a better-loved child of Singapore.

[email protected]
 

scroobal

Alfrescian
Loyal
Home > Our Columnists > Column
Aug 10, 2008
I wish...
Feeling like the least favourite child
Three writers share their hopes for Singapore this National Day
Nur Dianah Suhaimi

[email protected]
Thanks for putting this up. Excellent article and spells the issues that have been simmering under the surface for years. I always enjoyed the way she covered her story -warts and all.
 

Leongsam

High Order Twit / Low SES subject
Admin
Asset
As a Malay, I've always been told that I have to work twice as hard to prove my worth
When I was younger, I always thought of myself as the quintessential Singaporean.

She's not the only one. 99% of them feel the same way. Be prepared to run once LKY kicks the bucket. Things could unravel the way they did in Tito's Yugoslavia. It could take years or it could happen in months. Nobody can foresee the future.

One thing is certain, post LKY, things are going to be drastically different.
 

Jah_rastafar_I

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
This already shows the so-called racist mentality that they have. That explains why taufik and the other malay guy won Sg idol. The entire community pressured everyone to vote for them simply because of their race.


This is always the case in Sg, chinese are supposed to act all benovelent and fair minded whilst the poor pitiful minorities are suffering immensely under the cruel and evil majority.
 

Jah_rastafar_I

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
The fact is there are not many Muslims as progressive as her



During seccondary school assembly the malays would be the ones whistling out loudly making lots and lots of noise. For some reason the teachers were afraid to offend them and hence they got away with it. It is insane there are such a number of them that behave like that simply out of their own free will and this writer writes it like somehow her kind are like the least liked????Like maybe the majority race forced them to behave like this. :rolleyes:


Actually it has been so ingrained it is like almost instant behaviour without proper thought. Take say in hwz edmw for eg. When a slightly offensive remark is made towards them wah!!!! racist super duper racist. Yet racist statements especially towards chinese and ppl dun even bother.

Such is the case in SG they are forever the victims and the majority is the cruel and evil race.
 

scroobal

Alfrescian
Loyal
This already shows the so-called racist mentality that they have. That explains why taufik and the other malay guy won Sg idol. The entire community pressured everyone to vote for them simply because of their race.


This is always the case in Sg, chinese are supposed to act all benovelent and fair minded whilst the poor pitiful minorities are suffering immensely under the cruel and evil majority.

She had a lot of valid points and she is the one that raised the Taufik issue. It was a very balanced article. Imagine despite the decades and years rolling by, they are still considered as the 5th column. They are treated like lepers on their own native soil.
 

madmansg

Alfrescian
Loyal
is she or he ? How come so retard dont know no NS for girls ? Even more retard for wishing to have NS. I dont mind wearing tudong my entire life if can save 2 years in NS.
 

tonychat

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
She's not the only one. 99% of them feel the same way. Be prepared to run once LKY kicks the bucket. Things could unravel the way they did in Tito's Yugoslavia. It could take years or it could happen in months. Nobody can foresee the future.

One thing is certain, post LKY, things are going to be drastically different.

One thing to prevent that to happen is for sinkie to unsinkified themselves before the old man tata. Only Singaporeans with that unsinkified first world behavior can prevent the downfall of Singapore.
 

angry_one

Alfrescian
Loyal
=One thing is certain, post LKY, things are going to be drastically different.

Au contrarie, I think things will be the same. The Lee clan is entrenched in all sectors of the nation. Nothing short of a coup can replace them. But sinkees are so kiasee, they'll just LPPL and suck it in. If anything, it will be MORE oppressive and we'll have WORSE policies.
 

Jah_rastafar_I

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
She had a lot of valid points and she is the one that raised the Taufik issue. It was a very balanced article. Imagine despite the decades and years rolling by, they are still considered as the 5th column. They are treated like lepers on their own native soil.


Yeah the taufik issue smacks of racism but they can get away with it since they are not chinese.

Native soil???? Anyway if not because of the chinese here this would just be a fishing village the not the richest country in this region.
 

Jah_rastafar_I

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
Get used to it. The ethnic minorities in every country will always play the race card to level up.





I could care about that. The pt is for more ppl to realise how unreasonable the demands are and they can rant for all and no oen would listen.
 

Gillette

Alfrescian
Loyal
Singapore Malays are generally peaceful and friendly folks. They are definitely not a threat to your jobs - you hardly see them in top management positions, especially in banks. The only concern is where their allegiance would lie in times of war with our Islamic neighbors.
 

Ah Guan

Alfrescian
Loyal
Singapore Malays are generally peaceful and friendly folks. They are definitely not a threat to your jobs - you hardly see them in top management positions, especially in banks. The only concern is where their allegiance would lie in times of war with our Islamic neighbors.

I agree. I tend to like our local Malay brothers over our northern neighbours.

I am also impressed with the Javanese Indos I've come across.

 

Loofydralb

Alfrescian
Loyal
Singapore Malays are generally peaceful and friendly folks. They are definitely not a threat to your jobs - you hardly see them in top management positions, especially in banks. The only concern is where their allegiance would lie in times of war with our Islamic neighbors.

The majority here would however remain silent when asked "Where their allegiance would lie in times of war with Chinese majority countries":confused:
 
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