Q: Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool
A: Because if it walked, it would get mugged.
Q: Doctor, doctor everytime I masterbate I start singing "you'll never walk alone."
A: Dont worry sir, all wankers sing that.
Rafa Benitez was caught speeding on the way to Anfield this morning.
When questioned, he answered "I'll do anything for 3 points!"
Q: What do you say to a Scouser in a suit?
A: “May the defendant please rise”