By Alfian Sa'at
The Selected Wisdom of Tin Pei Ling
-------------------------------------------------
When Tin Pei Ling first entered Parliament, quite a few people had doubts over her capabilities. It did not help that videos showed her stomping her feet and wailing ‘I don’t know what to say!’ or delivering her campaign speech with the expressive hand gestures of someone at a primary school storytelling competition. But she has definitely matured over the past few years. Now she knows what to say, and she says it in her inimitable style. Here are some highlights from her Facebook page:
1) She mixes up words endearingly:
“Mr K------ could well be a centurion in MacPherson (!) but it is hard to verify this now as documentations were not as accurate or well organised in the past.”
(Centurion=a commander in the ancient Roman Army; centenarian=someone who is 100 years old. I would put three exclamation marks there if that were the case.)
2) She likes puns, and likes to explain that they are puns:
“Many residents, especially the elderly, tend to cross the road here and we have been very concerned about their safety. So, after several persistent appeals from my grassroots team and I, we finally got the "green light" (pun intended) from the LTA.”
“Community partners came together earlier this month to install new LED energy-saving lightbulbs for households in one of the rental blocks in MacPherson. Heartfelt thanks to all who were involved - THANK YOU for bringing light (figuratively and literally) to our residents!”
“Nevertheless, 2012 has been a strikingly (pun intended…) momentous year with headlines grabbing attention throughout the year.
“We cannot be a careless and care-less meritocracy.”
“I have utmost respect for Mr Lee, our founding Prime Minister. I wish him good health and happiness. To me, he is our rock and he rocks *figuratively*!”
3) She uses Maggi Mee to illustrate a point about defence policy:
“Diplomacy without defence is merely a good show (good to watch and very good to “eat”). Any talk of freedom is empty if we cannot even assure our sovereignty.”
4) She uses adjectives unconventionally. Here she compares Tharman Shanmugaratnam to Marvin Gaye:
“Budget 2014 is one that I would describe as “soulful” (*not the sad kind*).”
5) She likes stringing modal verbs together to motivational effect:
“We as younger Singaporeans must build upon what our pioneers have given us and do them proud! We can, we must, we will.”
“It is my fervent fervent hope that we, all of us as Singaporeans, will continue to stand united, love and defend this country we call home. We did, we can and we will.”
6) Not enough motivation? You can print these out and laminate to stick on your office cubicle/pantry. Please remember to credit:
“Please be careful and take care of our common spaces, protect yourself, protect your family too. Life is too precious!”
“When the goal is clear, it is as if an invisible force is driving us forward, giving us strength to strive for that goal.”
“How important it is for us to cherish what we have, while we still can. We only live once.”
“Together, we can make the values of a caring and inclusive society come alive. Together, we can make a positive difference.”
“Let us look out for each other and live up to the human spirit!”
7) She is Captain Obvious, or rather Brigadier-General Redundant:
“Nothing beats having good health because having good health will enable us to have the capacity and energy to enjoy life, fulfill aspirations and do what is meaningful to us in life.”
“Milk is a critical source of nutrients for infants and young kids. For young kids who are still growing, they need the right nutrients to develop their brain and body.”
“Courage – something that we all need at some point in life, to overcome particular tribulations or achieve personal breakthroughs.”
“Finally, I would like to conclude.”
8 ) She likes fillers, as if she is trying to achieve a minimum word count:
“It shows that our nation cares, our generation cares and we all care.”
(How about “It shows we all care”?)
“No one gets left out, everyone gets a chance to tap on [Medishield], if not today then tomorrow.”
(How about “No one gets left out”?)
9) She comes up with head-scratching slogans:
“We should work towards a clean Singapore, not a cleaned Singapore.”
(How does one get a clean Singapore, if it is not cleaned first, even if what she means is we should clean up after ourselves?)
10) She can cram a lot of civil-service jargon in a single sentence:
“The Government may even have to take on a bigger role in conducting horizon scanning of best practices and innovations, and share them proactively with the SMEs.”
11) She quotes from National Day songs to get her points across:
“Finally, during this National Day period, let us remember how we got to where we are today - with the government and the people working hand-in-hand to build our nation, where we are strong and free.”
(We built a nation/ Strong and free/Reaching out together/ For peace and harmony. ‘We Are Singapore,’ 1987)
12) She oversees projects with witty names:
“Say No To Fall”—nothing to do with celebrating Spring for as long as possible, but ‘aimed at reducing the risk of elderly residents falling, building their confidence and supporting active ageing’.
“Project GRACE”—a public art project, otherwise known as ‘Getting Residents, Artists & the Community Engaged’.
“Project Angelz”—where youth volunteers help to spruce up old residents’ homes. Of course the ‘z’ is there because it’s a youth thang yo, like ‘Boyz ‘N the Hood’.
13) Cryptic, pseudo-profound, or nonsense? You decide:
“We want to be dreamers of the day, not just the night.”
“What is the promise of youth and to youths?”
“They may have lost their sight, something that we sometimes take for granted, but they are not blind.”
14) And finally, this analogy:
“Some SMEs are in sectors where you simply cannot mechanise tasks. For example, you cannot simply create standard pre-mixes for machines to whip up delicious dishes. It is like having robots to read out lines in a drama play. I am sure they can do so competently, but the feeling is just not the same.”
Of course, we could replace Tin Pei Ling with a robot that is programmed to say ‘jiayou’ or ‘kudos to our volunteers’ every hour, with ‘From Third World to First’ and ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul’ downloaded into its brain, reliably exuding sincerity and banality. But the feeling will not be the same.
The Selected Wisdom of Tin Pei Ling
-------------------------------------------------
When Tin Pei Ling first entered Parliament, quite a few people had doubts over her capabilities. It did not help that videos showed her stomping her feet and wailing ‘I don’t know what to say!’ or delivering her campaign speech with the expressive hand gestures of someone at a primary school storytelling competition. But she has definitely matured over the past few years. Now she knows what to say, and she says it in her inimitable style. Here are some highlights from her Facebook page:
1) She mixes up words endearingly:
“Mr K------ could well be a centurion in MacPherson (!) but it is hard to verify this now as documentations were not as accurate or well organised in the past.”
(Centurion=a commander in the ancient Roman Army; centenarian=someone who is 100 years old. I would put three exclamation marks there if that were the case.)
2) She likes puns, and likes to explain that they are puns:
“Many residents, especially the elderly, tend to cross the road here and we have been very concerned about their safety. So, after several persistent appeals from my grassroots team and I, we finally got the "green light" (pun intended) from the LTA.”
“Community partners came together earlier this month to install new LED energy-saving lightbulbs for households in one of the rental blocks in MacPherson. Heartfelt thanks to all who were involved - THANK YOU for bringing light (figuratively and literally) to our residents!”
“Nevertheless, 2012 has been a strikingly (pun intended…) momentous year with headlines grabbing attention throughout the year.
“We cannot be a careless and care-less meritocracy.”
“I have utmost respect for Mr Lee, our founding Prime Minister. I wish him good health and happiness. To me, he is our rock and he rocks *figuratively*!”
3) She uses Maggi Mee to illustrate a point about defence policy:
“Diplomacy without defence is merely a good show (good to watch and very good to “eat”). Any talk of freedom is empty if we cannot even assure our sovereignty.”
4) She uses adjectives unconventionally. Here she compares Tharman Shanmugaratnam to Marvin Gaye:
“Budget 2014 is one that I would describe as “soulful” (*not the sad kind*).”
5) She likes stringing modal verbs together to motivational effect:
“We as younger Singaporeans must build upon what our pioneers have given us and do them proud! We can, we must, we will.”
“It is my fervent fervent hope that we, all of us as Singaporeans, will continue to stand united, love and defend this country we call home. We did, we can and we will.”
6) Not enough motivation? You can print these out and laminate to stick on your office cubicle/pantry. Please remember to credit:
“Please be careful and take care of our common spaces, protect yourself, protect your family too. Life is too precious!”
“When the goal is clear, it is as if an invisible force is driving us forward, giving us strength to strive for that goal.”
“How important it is for us to cherish what we have, while we still can. We only live once.”
“Together, we can make the values of a caring and inclusive society come alive. Together, we can make a positive difference.”
“Let us look out for each other and live up to the human spirit!”
7) She is Captain Obvious, or rather Brigadier-General Redundant:
“Nothing beats having good health because having good health will enable us to have the capacity and energy to enjoy life, fulfill aspirations and do what is meaningful to us in life.”
“Milk is a critical source of nutrients for infants and young kids. For young kids who are still growing, they need the right nutrients to develop their brain and body.”
“Courage – something that we all need at some point in life, to overcome particular tribulations or achieve personal breakthroughs.”
“Finally, I would like to conclude.”
8 ) She likes fillers, as if she is trying to achieve a minimum word count:
“It shows that our nation cares, our generation cares and we all care.”
(How about “It shows we all care”?)
“No one gets left out, everyone gets a chance to tap on [Medishield], if not today then tomorrow.”
(How about “No one gets left out”?)
9) She comes up with head-scratching slogans:
“We should work towards a clean Singapore, not a cleaned Singapore.”
(How does one get a clean Singapore, if it is not cleaned first, even if what she means is we should clean up after ourselves?)
10) She can cram a lot of civil-service jargon in a single sentence:
“The Government may even have to take on a bigger role in conducting horizon scanning of best practices and innovations, and share them proactively with the SMEs.”
11) She quotes from National Day songs to get her points across:
“Finally, during this National Day period, let us remember how we got to where we are today - with the government and the people working hand-in-hand to build our nation, where we are strong and free.”
(We built a nation/ Strong and free/Reaching out together/ For peace and harmony. ‘We Are Singapore,’ 1987)
12) She oversees projects with witty names:
“Say No To Fall”—nothing to do with celebrating Spring for as long as possible, but ‘aimed at reducing the risk of elderly residents falling, building their confidence and supporting active ageing’.
“Project GRACE”—a public art project, otherwise known as ‘Getting Residents, Artists & the Community Engaged’.
“Project Angelz”—where youth volunteers help to spruce up old residents’ homes. Of course the ‘z’ is there because it’s a youth thang yo, like ‘Boyz ‘N the Hood’.
13) Cryptic, pseudo-profound, or nonsense? You decide:
“We want to be dreamers of the day, not just the night.”
“What is the promise of youth and to youths?”
“They may have lost their sight, something that we sometimes take for granted, but they are not blind.”
14) And finally, this analogy:
“Some SMEs are in sectors where you simply cannot mechanise tasks. For example, you cannot simply create standard pre-mixes for machines to whip up delicious dishes. It is like having robots to read out lines in a drama play. I am sure they can do so competently, but the feeling is just not the same.”
Of course, we could replace Tin Pei Ling with a robot that is programmed to say ‘jiayou’ or ‘kudos to our volunteers’ every hour, with ‘From Third World to First’ and ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul’ downloaded into its brain, reliably exuding sincerity and banality. But the feeling will not be the same.
