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Dealing with guilt after three abortions

hokkien

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
SINGAPORE - Felicia, a 35-year-old unmarried consultant, has had three abortions and each time, guilt and shame sent her into a deep funk.

She is among those who have had multiple abortions.

Last year, one in three women who terminated their pregnancies had previous abortions. Some 22 per cent had their second abortion, 7 per cent their third, and 4 per cent, their fourth or more.

The proportion of repeat abortions has remained stable in the past decade.

Felicia (not her real name), a polytechnic diploma holder, had her first abortion when she was 17. She was then a student, could not afford to have a baby and felt that her father would kill her if he found out she was pregnant.

"I felt very lost and hopeless then, and I had no one to talk to," she said. "I thought if I had an abortion, my life could go back to normal."

Afterwards, however, she became depressed but felt too ashamed to confide in anyone.

Two years later, at 19, she found herself pregnant again by another boyfriend.

"I didn't have to struggle as much as I did the first time, to decide on an abortion," she said. "I felt it was the only option for me. So I suppressed my feelings."

But guilt and depression came back to haunt her.

She said her boyfriends did not want to use condoms during sex and she was not comfortable with taking birth control pills.

Besides, she did not think she would be so unlucky as to get pregnant again. This is a common refrain of women who have had multiple abortions, said Ms Jennifer Chee of Alife, a charity which counsels women facing unwanted pregnancies.

More than a decade after her second abortion, Felicia got pregnant again. This time, it happened while she was having an affair with a married colleague. She dreaded the thought of a third abortion, but her lover told her to do it.

As she did not feel confident that she could raise a child alone, she did as he said.

"I hardened my heart," she recalled.

This time, though, the abortion almost sent her over the edge. She suffered from insomnia and depression and had suicidal thoughts.

All her abortions were done at private clinics. She said she received no counselling, but was made to sit through a video about abortion each time.

She said: "There's a great sense of regret. If someone could have told me there were other options, I might have gone through with my last pregnancy. Women don't realise the impact of abortion - no one talks about all the pain, shame and regret."

If you are distressed by an unplanned pregnancy, call the following helplines for assistance:

- Pregnancy Crisis Service: 6339-9770

- Alife: 6258-8816

- Babes: 8111-3535 (for pregnant teenagers)
 

SNTCK

Alfrescian
Loyal
there is a word saying, learnt from a lesson.
after 3 lessons and she is still not learning anything yet.
 

Agoraphobic

Alfrescian
Loyal
There are childless couples who are longing to have a child to raise. Pregnant women may wish to consider this option before killing the child and haivng to live with the guilt.

Cheers!
 

Reddog

Alfrescian
Loyal
a 35-year-old unmarried consultant

- this is a "loose" woman... unmarried and yet with 3 pregnancies.
- this woman is a murderer. 3 times over.

Kharma will visit her.
 

Oracle

Alfrescian
Loyal
Can give me her number so that I could meet up with her, talk to her seriously regarding birds and bees story.
 

laksaboy

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
An abortion is a far better option than financial ruin through child support payments.

Don't let the religious/pro-life crowd guilt trip you into thinking that life begins at the moment when a sperm fertilizes an ovum.
 

Leckmichamarsch

Alfrescian
Loyal
a 35-year-old unmarried consultant

- this is a "loose" woman... unmarried and yet with 3 pregnancies.
- this woman is a murderer. 3 times over.

Kharma will visit her.

she likes to fuck n there is nothing wrong w that .......oso she loves to do it raw
she shud be thankful it was baby n not sTD or AIDS
 

Sinkie

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
My gf never like condom.............so what the fuck is this fucked up consultant saying?
I can control my climax......her bfs are fucked shit dumbasses, that's all.
 
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